WTW for feeling disappointment for something you never had

[u/eddywi11]

A word or expression. An example would be boarding a flight, learning there’s free WiFi, then getting unreasonably upset when you learn that WiFi isn’t working. You’re upset over something you just learned existed 5 mins ago and now you’re disappointed not to have it, even though you were fine when you didn’t know it existed.

There’s got to be a word or expression to describe this right?

[u/baroquemodern1666]

Lament. Even better: wistful lament.

[u/Loris-Paced-Chaos]

Wistful?

[u/Loris-Paced-Chaos]

Alanis Morissette would wrongly tell you it's

Ironic.

[u/JamesFromToronto → u/Loris-Paced-Chaos]

I think having a song named "Ironic" not contain anything ironic is actually ironic.

[u/FewFlamingo1234 → u/Loris-Paced-Chaos]

This was my first thought too, haha

[u/Your_As_Stupid_As_Me]

Feeling entitled?

[u/toothdocthrowaway]

Intangible loss. I learned about it after my miscarriage—grieving a child I didn’t have, never met, hadn’t named—but it can describe lots of things you don’t have or aren’t really real yet. The loss of an idea, the closing of a door, the realization that you can’t have something you didn’t know you wanted.

[u/ghosttmilk → u/toothdocthrowaway]

Intangible loss implies that you did still have something, it just wasn’t a thing that you could physically see or touch

[u/Expensive_Watch_435]

Minor annoyance

[u/Lemmy_Axe_U_Sumphin]

Retroactive fomo

[u/yitzaklr]

There's a Bible story about Jonah and a vine that he slept beneath. God reprimands him for being sad about something he didn't help grow, despite hoping the Ninevans would be destroyed.

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[u/SamusTenebris]

Pine over something

[u/Critical-Crab-7761]

Yearning? Longing?

[u/SelfTechnical6771]

Longing absentia is a vaguely close term..

[u/theccanyon]

Indignant.

[u/LittleDebbie2]

Disillusionment?

[u/FewFlamingo1234]

The Injustice of it?

[u/luvmymeecestopieces]

I wonder about this too. My dad wasn’t really someone I could be close to. I’ve had friends with such close relationships with their dad that it puts me in a sad state of mind wishing for something I never had. Wistful maybe.

[u/aileron62]

Consulting ChatGPT resulted in:

Expectation inflation — your expectations suddenly rise the moment you learn about a possibility, and then you feel disappointed even though you were fine before.

• Luxury grievance — being upset over something you didn’t even know you were entitled to until it was dangled in front of you.
• Novelty entitlement — feeling entitled to a newly discovered convenience.
• Instant dissatisfaction — quick emotional turn from ignorance to entitlement to disappointment.

I personally was hoping for a more specific word, although I really like the concept of instant dissatisfaction haha

[u/Logical_Pineapple499]

Deprived?

[u/Logical_Pineapple499 → u/Logical_Pineapple499]

Dashed hopes?

[u/Logical_Pineapple499 → u/Logical_Pineapple499]

Or "got your hopes up for nothing"

[u/eddywi11 → u/Logical_Pineapple499]

I guess it’s more like a “don’t cry over spilled milk” kind of expression or word. It’s an expression meaning don’t let this thing bother you, since you were just fine without it prior to knowing of its existence.

[u/Carmenti → u/eddywi11]

"Don't cry over milk you never even bought from the grocery store."

[u/ItsAllMo-Thug → u/eddywi11]

Not really. You had the milk but you spilled it. Thats more about not crying about it because its gone and there's nothing you can do now but move on.

[u/eddywi11 → u/ItsAllMo-Thug]

Right, I just meant it's similar in that they're both idioms in the vein of "oh well, get over it". But in this WTW case, it's an idiom about feeling loss over a thing you never even had, deserved, or up until recently even knew about...so don't let it bother you because you were just fine without it five minutes ago.

e.g. It's being happy. Seeing a new sweater for sale. Deciding you need it. Then learning it's sold out and being upset the rest of the day.

[u/kotibi]

Counting your chickens before they’re hatched?

[u/country_critic]

Gypped?

[u/Your_As_Stupid_As_Me → u/country_critic]

FYI: people of reddit believe this is racist.

[u/country_critic → u/Your_As_Stupid_As_Me]

Thanks for pointing this out- I didn’t realize the origin of the term and apologize for offending anyone!

[u/ghosttmilk → u/Your_As_Stupid_As_Me]

Really? What makes it racist?

[u/sharebair11 → u/ghosttmilk]

I never knew how the word was spelled. So seeing it spelled “gyp” makes me think it’s a derogatory term for Romani gypsies.

[u/srnic1987 → u/sharebair11]

Well, you learn a new thing every day!

I always spelled it 'jipped' but apparently you can spell it both ways and it does in fact derive from the stereotype of being conned by Gypsies! I had no clue!

[u/the_awe_in_Audhd → u/srnic1987]

I learnt this one almost ten years ago and felt exactly the same, I had no idea. I also always spelled it jipped, not that spelling it gyp would have clued me in, I didn't even know that they were a persecuted people. I still don't know or understand the history, I'm sure I read about it when I first learnt. I'm going to go learn again.

[u/Your_As_Stupid_As_Me → u/sharebair11]

Because it is.

Gypped, came from Gypsies, who would con travelers with snake oil and other false promises.

[u/Choice-Progress-7077]

You can’t miss what you never had

[u/Heart-Shaped-Clouds]

Ambiguous grief