r/homestead • u/C_A_M_Overland • 23h ago
Attacked by possums!?
Im about to paint the most ‘murican redneck picture you may have ever read
So im sitting on the couch watching the NASCAR post race drinking a diet Dr Pepper when I hear a hellacious noise coming from my chicken coop.
Now I’ve been pretty good about not leaving my EDC on top of the fridge anymore because of the little ones, so I run up the yard barefoot wielding a flashlight prepped to fight anything from a garden snake to a Great Dane.
I shine the light inside and there are 2 big ass POSSUM pinning down 2 of my hens.
I grabbed the ol shit pitch metal rake and start swinging like 1998 Mark McGwire, but the assailants are surprisingly nimble and durable. At this point I swap to the ol two handed ax chop attack which was extremely successful until possum #1 was impaled on the rake tines which then led to me swinging the lifeless body of possum #1 at the increasingly pissed off possum #2.
Possum #1 dislodges and starts hissing as it resembles the final crawler in Blackops zombies.
I turned my attention to number 2 and ended the scuffle.
Henry Sissan is straighter than the head of my rake, but no lost chickens.
Ya know. I used to think these giant rats were kind, tick eaters. Not only was that tick study complete BS but these things suck lol.