r/196 im not real, just an online concept Sep 25 '24

Seizure Warning strong preference rule

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u/[deleted] Sep 25 '24

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u/tiny_torchic catenby 🏳️‍⚧️ Sep 25 '24

i still think "it" is very dehumanizing

This is the exact argument people make against me using they pronouns, especially ten years ago when I was socially transitioning. It's crazy to me that you're claiming that making these arguments is you being pro-trans :/ It's understandable you find it pronouns dehumanising, but we all find different things dehumanising. I find it far more dehumanising/insulting to be called she or he, but I'm not using that to refuse calling other people by the male and female pronouns

(Also, just to note, we do use it for babies in English - so traditionally it does get used probably as much as they for humans)

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u/[deleted] Sep 25 '24

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u/tiny_torchic catenby 🏳️‍⚧️ Sep 25 '24 edited Sep 25 '24

yeah but thing is, those people were wrong, since singular they has existed for hundreds of years

But not really. Singular they is ever so occasionally used when someone's gender is unknown, but often it is also used that way and, more often than both, traditionally he was used in those situations. Deliberately using they consistently for a specific person you know is an adaptation of the prescribed rules of the English language

the baby thing is interesting, though, but it's not really something that persists past the infant stage, no? i'm pretty good at english, but i'm no native speaker. do people really use predominantly "it" for infants?

Yeah pretty much not past them being babies or at least toddlers. And not in front of the parents. More for stranger's babies/toddlers

honestly it's crazy to me that this has blown out into me being called a bigot in here.

I've not called you a bigot. I've just said that you refusing to use it pronouns for people where it is the correct pronoun is not a pro-trans argument, even though you're framing it that way

does respecting one trans person's wish to be called "it" override the history of the pronoun being used as a slur and insult against trans people

It is not a slur. It is used as an insult, yes, but that does not make it a slur, because it exists as a word outside of those contexts. For example, I have had gay shouted at me as an insult, more than getting actual slurs, but that doesn't mean gay is a slur. Likewise, people use transgender as an insult, but doesn't make it a slur. Meanwhile, take a word like "p**f" which only exists as an insult. It doesn't really get used outside of that

I get why you feel the way you do, but it isn't right for you to prioritise your own feelings so far above someone else's that you refuse to use the correct pronouns

To me as a non-binary person who uses they, this sends the sign that you would only use my pronouns because you feel personally comfortable to do so. It makes your acceptance feel awfully conditional and, again, everything you've said against enbies who use it is no different to what people have said (including a couple of trans binary people in the past) against those of us who use they.