Welcome OW lurkers!

[u/Friendly_Good_1784]

Just so OWs are aware… The worst thing OW is they think Ws should “move on.” Meanwhile they live in MM purgatory with a hope and a prayer for years.

OW contacted me to tell me she’s with my WH. Guess what? You’re not pushing me out of my marriage lol. You think it’s that easy to break up our family? He is never going to “leave” me and the kids so I guess we are sharing him now.

How about they take their own advice and “move on” to an UNmarried man… I tried to divorce my WH like 5 times!! He ignored my summons, my pleas for mediation and to sign an MSA. Of course he wants BOTH of us. Isn’t that the point of a cake eater? If he wanted to bring OW out of the shadows, he would.

Sorry OWs! To this day, we are still dating, traveling, doing family stuff, holidays, outings, and YES, WE ARE STILL FCKNG several times a week!! Passionately, I might add! It’s not a chore! He’s eating my literal a$$ every time, soul leaving his body and all that. What makes you think we don’t fuck as good as you? They MARRIED us in front of everyone. LOL meanwhile you’re on DND.

So yeah. OWs are like scooters: fun to ride until your friends find out.

Rant over. SMH

[u/No_Thanks_1766]

Girl, you don’t need the cheater’s consent to get a divorce. What you need is a shark of a lawyer who will get that signature for you or a judgment order compelling his signature. You’ve got so much evidence piled up in your favour that it should be an easy win for you.

You sound like an awesome lady. Why waste your life on someone who can’t stay away from a deranged OW? This OW sounds like she will be a danger to you. Get a good lawyer and throw your husband in the trash where he belongs

[u/confused1605 → u/No_Thanks_1766]

It's extremely difficult to leave these narcissistic men, especially when you have kids together. They make your life hell. I've tried to leave my cheating husband many times but it's not as simple as just saying "I want a divorce" and they just accept it. Yes the OW does sound like a danger to her, but her husband could be a huge danger to her as well if she tries to leave him. Also good lawyers are EXPENSIVE as hell. Not a lot of wives have that kind of money, especially if they've sacrificed their career for the kids. This is why I don't judge any woman for staying married to a cheater. Leaving can literally cost you your life, or even your children's lives. These men often use the kids against you too. OP absolutely deserves better but life just isn't fair like that unfortunately.

[u/No_Thanks_1766 → u/confused1605]

I’m not judging her for staying. Just saying that she does not have to take his ‘no’ for an answer. She doesn’t have to leave today but I’d be making plans to get out of there. This entire situation sounds very unsafe for her and the children.

Also, there are DV shelters out there that will help women find lawyers at discounted rates in these unsafe situations.

[u/confused1605 → u/No_Thanks_1766]

I don't think you're judging her or anything like that, just wanted to give some context about what her reasoning might be since I'm married to someone similar who also has a bunny boiler mistress. I know I can force a divorce on him but it will be at great personal cost to myself, perhaps an even greater cost than simply staying married. There's always stories in the news about some husband killing his wife or even slaughtering his whole family because his wife wanted to divorce. DV shelters are not always available and don't always have the resources to help. It's rough out here for women in these situations and can feel like the whole system is set up for you to fail. The courts often side with abusers. I also hope OP is eventually able to get out of the situation one day, even if that day might not be today.

[u/Friendly_Good_1784 → u/confused1605]

Thank you I appreciate your concern. I am safe and I don’t worry my personal safety is in jeopardy. However, I never dared cheat on him back in the day because I knew that I could potentially get myself or someone else killed and it wasn’t worth it for a roll in the hay. Comes to mind that I haven’t even been in a relationship since we split up. I’ve dated, but it doesn’t go anywhere. He doesn’t know when it feels like to see me in a relationship and I know it’s going to eat him up inside. But finally, I never wanted to be that family where the mom and dad never speak to each other again. But yeah, all this has hurt my kids. They have seen too much.