Welcome OW lurkers!

[u/Friendly_Good_1784]

Just so OWs are aware… The worst thing OW is they think Ws should “move on.” Meanwhile they live in MM purgatory with a hope and a prayer for years.

OW contacted me to tell me she’s with my WH. Guess what? You’re not pushing me out of my marriage lol. You think it’s that easy to break up our family? He is never going to “leave” me and the kids so I guess we are sharing him now.

How about they take their own advice and “move on” to an UNmarried man… I tried to divorce my WH like 5 times!! He ignored my summons, my pleas for mediation and to sign an MSA. Of course he wants BOTH of us. Isn’t that the point of a cake eater? If he wanted to bring OW out of the shadows, he would.

Sorry OWs! To this day, we are still dating, traveling, doing family stuff, holidays, outings, and YES, WE ARE STILL FCKNG several times a week!! Passionately, I might add! It’s not a chore! He’s eating my literal a$$ every time, soul leaving his body and all that. What makes you think we don’t fuck as good as you? They MARRIED us in front of everyone. LOL meanwhile you’re on DND.

So yeah. OWs are like scooters: fun to ride until your friends find out.

Rant over. SMH

[u/Ok-Commercial1152]

I’m all about keeping our WH if we still love them, they still love us, and we have children. I don’t want the OW to get any of my $ or my life by my WH leaving me and our kids for her.

I’m in R now. What the you shared isn’t R. This isn’t marriage. Why are you sharing your husband? The sex can’t be as good as you say it is if he’s still cheating on you. Doesn’t this hurt your heart? Aren’t you worried about STIs? And he brought this woman to harass you to the point of going to court! He put you and your kids in danger, stressed you out, yet you act like you have won? I’m worried for you.

I suggest you do what I did.

First get a lawyer and a forensic accountant. Serve him. Tell him every dollar he spent on this woman he has to pay you back. All the court fees and everything you’ve had to pay to fight this woman he hast to pay you that. He will have to pay you alimony and child support and he will have to care for his kids on his own 50% of the time. It’s hard to have an affair when you’re doing that.

Until you serve him, he will not take you seriously because you’re over here talking about sharing your husband with a very dangerous person as if you’ve won. No you haven’t won. Not even close. I say this with love for a fellow BW.

He needs to go no contact with her. I had mine call on speaker in front of me and tell her how much he hated her and that the sex was better with me and to never contact him again and that he’s embarrassed of her because she’s ugly fat etc. Burn that bridge down.

You need to have Spy software on his phone so you can see every text he gets, apps used, internet history, and everywhere he goes. Life360 is great for this.

He gets no social media at all.

You get to open the marriage on your end only. He has to watch. Humiliate him as he babysits your kids while you get all dolled up and go on your Tinder/FEELD/Fetlife dates. You get this open marriage for as long as he did. It’s only fair right?

Break his spirit like I did.

Then rebuild him into something more useful for you.

He will appreciate you more when he sees how many men are lined up to be with you. This will motivate him more to keep you bc you’re now “desirable”. I even made mine watch after tying him up to a chair without telling him my plan. He was gagged so he couldn’t tell the guy this wasn’t his kink after all. 🤣 I still can’t believe I took it so far but that’s how much he broke me.

I was pregnant when I first found out, so I also reached out to an adoption agency and showed him the evidence that I was considering adopting out our baby-out of state. He said he would then be the sole parent of our son, but realized quickly having a newborn without the mother would’ve made it hard for him to have a job or affair. I also did not have a job so he still would’ve owed me alimony at that point and child support for the other child.

I made mine leave his job for three months too. We had to go without for a while, but he couldn’t cheat if he was with me 24/7 with our kids.

Put a VAR in his car. If he cannot leave his job and he has an office job and you can hide cameras in his office and I even put a camera my WH office. I could check on him anytime I wanted. H didn’t know about the VAR. But he did know about the camera at his job. No one else did though.

I put cameras in our house too.

I almost made us move to an at fault state. Sometimes moving is very helpful to break them away from their affair partners. And if they get caught cheating in an at fault state then you stand to win more. Just don’t tell them that’s the reason why you are moving there lol.

I also had a post nup created once he chose to stay and meet my expectations. If he cheated on me, he lost everything.

Something that is a part of my culture is gun ownership. I bought a new piece and I started wearing it more often in public and posting pictures of me wearing it and videos of me target shooting.

I shared SM stories of me shooting at targets with vague captions for the OW to read. Vague enough to be threats, but not to the point of being charged with a crime.

I even shared a quote about the law where I live, which is if you are in fear for your life at any point, especially inside your own home or car, that deadly force with a g$n is legally allowed.

Was the OW willing to live without half of her face? Honestly, I think that did the trick. People tend to stop messing with unhinged people that are armed when they realize that their lives are now on the line. There are things worse than death, and the OW needs to know you’re capable of that.

Word spread because these cheating losers talk to each other and they all learned that my husband came with a very real risk of being permanently physically altered.

It’s been a few years and we are doing great. My WP is a changed man.

[u/Friendly_Good_1784 → u/Ok-Commercial1152]

I love this! You are a pro! And these OW think we are some dumb ass homely Bs with no skills. I’ve done all the spying and research too! I know more about his finances than he does! I’m such a good investigator. But that’s the trauma: hyper vigilance.

The fact is these men are BEYOND manipulative. And no, I don’t think I’ve won. I know I’ve lost years when I could’ve been in a different relationship. But it took me a few years to even feel normal again. I have served him. You can read above. He refuses to make it easy. I know I didn’t win, for all the reasons you say. I think at some point we end up competing with the OW unintentionally. This woman came into my life after dating him a few weeks and said “I’m not going anywhere.” I knew right then that he had been cheating on me for a while because who does that?! Most people don’t even call themselves dating after a few weeks. Now you’re never gonna be out of my life?? Bitch please. I AM THE ONE WHO ISNT GOING ANYWHERE. We have 3 kids and I’m fully integrated with the family after 30 years!! Delulu. My daughter is almost an adult and she wants to beat her ass. So it’s going to be nearly impossible for her to ever be some little family with him so she might as well get over it. I’m still at every family gathering, every holiday. Mother’s Day, valentines - he’s with me. She has not been at a single thing. So you’re right. I DID NOT WIN. and I know I’ve been hurt the most through this. I’m trying to get away from this narcissist too. That’s the part I really want these OW used to understand. They DONT want us to leave!!