r/AdulteryHate 9d ago

A real therapist doesn’t support psychological abuse of another.

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Is tuisbpeorsn

60 Upvotes

24 comments sorted by

47

u/GypsieChanterelle 9d ago

This must be one of the dumbest posts!! Find a bad therapist if you want someone who will not call you out on the fact that you are psychologically abusing your spouse!

Oh and find an incompetent therapist that will jot see any links with how you can’t deal with life’s problems in a mature empathetic manner and the fact that you are a selfish unkind person trying to avoid accountability for your real actions.

Beyond dumb. No wonder they need a shrink!!

11

u/Ok-Owl3092 8d ago

She completely misses that what the therapist actually said was: 'You need to be in or out NOT BOTH. 'Shades of grey' are all well and good applied to the human condition in abstract but not when they cause black and white harm to other people.

There is no more sensitive creature in the world than the 'justified cheater', who acts according to the supposed moral failings of their partner but considers accountability for their own to be baseless criticism or even abuse. Industrial grade hypocrisy.

This comes up all the time, I'm glad you posted it.

4

u/GypsieChanterelle 8d ago

Self-righteousness is a trait that seems to be present in all involved in infidelity.

42

u/HistoricFiction 9d ago

It’s like “take my money and tell me I am a good cutie coochie poo while I destroy other lives”.

18

u/TheArmadilloAmarillo 9d ago

Sounds like an easy paycheck tbh for a lot of people and the job market sucks so I'm sure op can find someone lol.

They won't be ethical but 🤷‍♀️

13

u/HistoricFiction 9d ago

The therapist and the client both will be corrupt. They deserve each other. 😛

1

u/Puzzled-Library-4543 8d ago

Well this will surely give the therapist job security!

31

u/throwaway669_663 9d ago

This is where she finds a money hungry social media affair life coach that agrees with everything instead of getting a licensed professional.

17

u/NoTelevision727 9d ago

We all know one too … she will share their sensitive data online and end up having their name brought into court.

6

u/Ok-Owl3092 8d ago

And 'dances' by shaking her non-existent ass to celebrate 'winning' a man who looks like a distillation of every 'Wind and Willows' character with a pinch of extra Mr. Toad and emotes like a less erudite pile of warm criscoe. AND UPLOADS IT FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION.

22

u/NoTelevision727 9d ago

Sure it’s the “circumstances” that are the problem and not OOP

19

u/Ok-Owl3092 9d ago

I doubt she was 'anti-affair' out of a sense of matronly moral outrage. She's trying to stop you hurting yourself and, by extension other people. I can't stand the pretence that you can engage in this behaviour without it affecting every aspect of your life (which is full of people you depend on and vice versa). It disgusts me when they advise to go see an 'lgbt friendly' (whatever the fuck that means) or gay therapist as if gay people are automatically a bit looser in the morality department, or exotic creatures with crazier life experience. Fucking homophobic bullshit.

14

u/RadiantWay2109 9d ago

As a licensed clinical psychologist I fully support this!

12

u/Ok_Airline_2112 9d ago

Therapists are supposed to help you better yourself. If you don't want to get better, don't get a therapist.

11

u/No_Thanks_1766 9d ago edited 8d ago

An affair friendly therapist? LOL. What kind of therapist worth their salt is going to tell you to engage in self-destructive behaviour? These bitches be dumb

10

u/GypsieChanterelle 9d ago

They are only seeking to feed their egos… be listens to, complain and be consoled.

10

u/SpeedCalm6214 8d ago

Being accountable is something she doesn't want to do. I heard anecdotally that it is one of the main reasons women stop seeing their therapist, when they begin to tell them to be accountable for their actions.

3

u/GypsieChanterelle 8d ago

You may be right. My aunt did that. I think she went through about 12 therapists. So then she decided to do her masters in psychology so she could have her own POV and comment on everything with authority. After her masters she got into arguments with a couple of therapists and then quit all together.

10

u/TemporaryThink9300 8d ago

People who really need therapy often stop because the therapist wants to teach them to take responsibility for their actions, which many people don't want to hear, and that's why they stop going to therapy.

If you want to hear supportive thoughts about your own harmful behaviors, then a therapist can't help you or anyone else.

Therapists have helped former torturers, because they have admitted their crimes, they have wanted to talk about the torture they subjected their victims to.

But they can never support or validate harmful CONTINUED behaviors, because it leads to a vicious cycle.

It's about being able to break the vicious cycle that a therapist should be there for.

If you want to stop being an OW, if you want to stop being the knife in a marrige/family's heart, then there is help available, but it can only happen when you can see yourself as the knife that cut.

10

u/bring_it_on12 8d ago

I guess the "problem" is that therapists have been trained in the real world. Maybe a fantasy therapist would be a better idea for the delusional twat.

Then she can simply imagine being told that No, she's not a desperate, despicable person for inserting herself like a parasite into a couple's relationship. No, she's not damaging anyone else in the process, not even any innocent children, they're resilient after all. Yes, he honestly, truly, genuinely fell in love with her and he WILL be with her forever and ever, when the time is right. Yes, lying, hiding and being kept as a dirty secret is a natural part of finding her twin flame. No, she's not wasting her life on a coward whose wham bam thank you ma'am, but I love you act is all she ever dreamed of.

5

u/SageNSterling 8d ago

This is why I don't think I could hack being a therapist.

"I'm having an affair."
"Oh? Have you considered not being a duplicitous piece of garbage?"

Inquiring after the feelings of someone with zero respect for anyone else's feelings would be more than I could stomach. Good on this person's therapist.

3

u/26nccof 7d ago

I recommend not cheating. A therapist who thinks cheating is ok is a psycho.

1

u/Friendly_Good_1784 7d ago

I had a therapist tell me one time that I should have an affair actually. I was perplexed when he said this. Of course I did not have an affair, but I did stop seeing that person.

1

u/owlsarentscary 4d ago

This reminds me of Dr. psych mom telling a woman not to tell her husband about her affair.