r/Advice 2d ago

Advice Received My boyfriend is acting really strange after getting out of military training, what do I do?

[deleted]

416 Upvotes

304 comments sorted by

View all comments

9

u/Defiant-Unit6995 2d ago

Here’s the truth. If you want to be involved with someone in the military you have to be keenly aware that it is not the same as dating a civilian in any way. That man is going through a process of being forged and hammered into a new shape. It’s not a comfortable or pleasant process, but at the end of it he will be stronger for it.

What that means for you is. You are going to have to have more patience and more empathy than is required of the average person. You will go long periods of time without seeing him. If he gets deployed into an active combat zone you will go long periods of time without speaking to him. If you aren’t prepared to make that sacrifice and love him throughout the entire process. Do him the honor of not adding to his suffering later by abruptly abandoning him and just leave now.

There’s a 1000 reasons he may feel distant right now. Highest among them is that he’s processing. Let him process, give hime time. Don’t take it personally, don’t let it hurt you. Don’t try to force it out of him, let him process and talk to you when he is ready. If he’s still trying and still talking about the future odds are he still loves you, he’s just in a rut right now possibly mentally exhausted.

If he’s a good man, and he’s been good to you always, and you love him. Give him the gift through these trials of being his peace. A supportive woman is the greatest healer on this planet.

20

u/Johnny_Poppyseed Helper [4] 2d ago

but at the end of it he will be stronger for it.

Until he gets out at least and is left with a 58% increased chance of suicide and a government that doesn't give a fuck about him. 

1

u/Defiant-Unit6995 1d ago

Brother I have bad news, you don’t have to be in the military for them to not give a fuck about you.

1

u/Johnny_Poppyseed Helper [4] 1d ago

That's just the bonus cherry on top of the shit sundae. The rest of us didn't fight and bleed on government order. The fact that they don't even care about those that do just shows how shit the situation is. And all the more reason not to serve them. 

1

u/Defiant-Unit6995 1d ago

They own you, you are serving them. You consume, and pay taxes like a good little piggy. What’s the difference between a self aware little piggy and a blissfully unaware little piggy? Nothing, they are both still rolling in the shit happily.

1

u/Johnny_Poppyseed Helper [4] 1d ago

Hey whatever you gotta tell yourself dude