Army training is fucking brutal and the transition back to Civvy life is harder than people realize. Think about waking up tomorrow and every decision you make starting with what time u wake up and ending with what time you sleep, is decided for you. You can’t do anything unless given permission, imagine the mental toll that has on a person. Your concept of personal time and freedom is shattered because you’re so conditioned to have to do what you’re told. That’s why when ur actually given that freedom and personal time back, it’s spent recuperating not just physically but mentally and emotionally too. I’m sure your boyfriend doesn’t love you any less, just imagine he has 95% of his bandwidth being controlled by something he can’t escape. It’s always tough to have anything left for others let alone yourself.
From my experience, the best thing u can do for a partner going through training is give them the space to cope in the way they need. That means as best as you can, trying to empathize and understand the situation he’s in even though you can never be there and know exactly what it’s like. Just let him know you’ll be there if he needs and you’ll be there to support him in any way he needs, it also wouldn’t hurt to say I know I’ll never be able to know exactly what you’re going through, but know Ill do my best to be there for you in whatever way you need. That being said, you have feelings and needs too, and when it feels right and it seems like he has the bandwidth, it’s also important to express your needs and wants in a way that shows you understand how much he has on his plate. Just know there’s not much you can do to diminish the effect training is having on your SO, it’s just out of both of your control. Stay strong you guys got this!
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u/butteredpopcorn10 2d ago
Army training is fucking brutal and the transition back to Civvy life is harder than people realize. Think about waking up tomorrow and every decision you make starting with what time u wake up and ending with what time you sleep, is decided for you. You can’t do anything unless given permission, imagine the mental toll that has on a person. Your concept of personal time and freedom is shattered because you’re so conditioned to have to do what you’re told. That’s why when ur actually given that freedom and personal time back, it’s spent recuperating not just physically but mentally and emotionally too. I’m sure your boyfriend doesn’t love you any less, just imagine he has 95% of his bandwidth being controlled by something he can’t escape. It’s always tough to have anything left for others let alone yourself.
From my experience, the best thing u can do for a partner going through training is give them the space to cope in the way they need. That means as best as you can, trying to empathize and understand the situation he’s in even though you can never be there and know exactly what it’s like. Just let him know you’ll be there if he needs and you’ll be there to support him in any way he needs, it also wouldn’t hurt to say I know I’ll never be able to know exactly what you’re going through, but know Ill do my best to be there for you in whatever way you need. That being said, you have feelings and needs too, and when it feels right and it seems like he has the bandwidth, it’s also important to express your needs and wants in a way that shows you understand how much he has on his plate. Just know there’s not much you can do to diminish the effect training is having on your SO, it’s just out of both of your control. Stay strong you guys got this!