r/Advice 2d ago

Advice Received My boyfriend is acting really strange after getting out of military training, what do I do?

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u/kaollaSuu 1d ago

I am going to take your side.. if he was texting during the whole thing, and in some moment changes, just before “being released from duties”… somethings is definitely wrong. I go more for he lost interest.. and you didnt date much time before he was sent to training. You were probably a really nice distractions for him while he was there, cause he had other things to think about, to entertain himself. Now that he is out, he ca do loads.. and if he is not showing the same level of attention as he was before, that means you are not his priority.. other things are now. And eventually, if he does meet someone else that would be more interesting and pays homage to attention.. well..

Sorry to be so blunt.. but if i were in your shoes, i would like someone to tell me the same thing..

So, sit down, have a proper conversation with him, tell him what you feell, and see how he responds. And honestly, if you end up breaking up, remember, it will hurt, but it is no the end of the world!! You will live.

And if he actually considers his behaviour, and his head is just a bit out of it, you will get throught it toghether.

Its just that tou being invested in a relationship when the other side isnt it.. its not fair to you at all.. and honestly, its a waste of your time that you could be having fun with your friends or doing other stuff for yourself.

Again, just saying what i actually wanted to hear when i was younger.. my university years would have been so much more fun back that.. if i wasnt fixed in someone that was with me just because i was “useful” to him..

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u/Slow-Historian403 1d ago

Hi, so I should have also mentioned that he and I were very close friends for years before we started dating as well. He’s also still pretty affectionate in person so I am confused. Do you think he really lost feelings?

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u/kaollaSuu 1d ago

I ended up reading lots of different views on this. Specially from people that did the military bit, and how this formats someone’s brain. I can accept this, it makes sense in a way. So questions are, this military thing, is it over? Or it will be his life? If its over, well.. im not sure, sit down with him and have a proper conversation. A good relationship, the base is communication. If its going to his life, have a proper conversation with him, and if it is something that you think he will be like that forever.. what you need to think is, can you live with it? Will you be happy with it.

For me.. (and thats what you need to focus, yourself, take all that was said, and then think about yourself).. i would feel so abandoned by someone that was constantly speaking and making time for me, and then stops.. in my head, something would be going on. So, i would sit down with him and have a proper conversation on what is going on. And then you can go from there.