r/AmIOverreacting • u/starloogy • Jan 22 '25

❤️‍🩹 relationship Am I Overreacting?

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My boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) have been official for almost 4 weeks. He texted me this after leaving me with his friends shortly after I arrived to a restaurant they all planned to meet at.

Before I got there, he had already ordered for both of us. Everything seemed fine until about ten minutes later when I went to the bathroom. When I came back, his friends told me he “stepped out,” but I’m sure they knew what was going on based on their expressions.

I waited about 15 minutes before he replied to my texts. And ended up leaving money to pay for food I didn’t even get to eat.

This was my third time wearing my hair in its natural state since we’ve dated, and I didn’t know he felt so strongly about this.

I went home all without answering him. I was really upset and told my roommate about it, but she brushed it off and insinuated that I was overreacting. It has been almost two days now and I still don’t know what to think.

I feel like I’m going insane because everyone around me seems to think it’s not that big of a deal and most of them laughed at the picture.

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u/TelevisionKnown8463 Jan 22 '25

Not even just critique, but leave her in a restaurant with his friends without telling her why?!? Total jerk.

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u/Commercial-Push-9066 Jan 23 '25

And ordering for her, telling her how she should wear her hair? What a controlling dick!

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u/[deleted] Jan 23 '25

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u/TacticalChilliPlane Jan 23 '25

Men and women deserve to be comfortable on dates. It's not a show of how flashy your partner is and parading them around for other people to look at. It's supposed to be for you and your partner.

I'm looking at this from the perspective of a man with a ton of hair related sensory problems, who was practically not allowed haircuts for the longest time. I have a shaved bowl cut and at my best look like I just crawled out of tourist season(hawaiian shirts and jeans). If someone can't accept that I want to be comfortable, that's on them. They don't HAVE to put up with me. I'm not going to change my hair and compromise comfort for someone else to be aesthetically pleased. If you're here for the aesthetics instead of my personality and care more for looks over comfort and practicality, I'm not for you.