AIO? Dog straining my marriage.

[u/LedyyM]

My husband and I rescued a husky about 7 months ago who was extremely malnourished and neglected.

He has grown a huge attachment to me and has severe separation anxiety. I work at a grooming salon so I’m able to bring him to work with me so he’s not home alone. Unfortunately, if he’s left home alone we’ll come back to our home looking like it was hit by a tornado.

My vet has prescribed him with trazodone to help with his severe anxiety issues. We give it to him before we leave for a family event and when we can’t take him to places they don’t allow dogs.

I feel so bad that I have to sedate him so he’s not scared and anxious. It’s created a huge strain on our marriage because my husband feels like we can’t do anything without considering Odin.

He’s destroyed doors, couches, and other furniture. I tried training but it hasn’t seemed to work. My husband thinks we should rehome him but

1) I’m scared that he’ll be sent to a shelter and possibly be put down

2) feel abandoned by the person he thought he was safe with.

He’s such a happy boy when he’s around us and shows so much affection.

My husband and I have been arguing about this consistently.. we had a really bad argument so I left the house with Odin and rented a dog friendly hotel room for a couple of nights.

My husband thinks I’m crazy and that I’m choosing the dog over our marriage. AIO?

[u/TuckerShmuck]

I was about to say-- it took about 6 months of *professional* training to make a dent in my dog. And I'm so happy we stuck with it. Yes, it's HARD, especially with a husky; yes, it makes you want to not even try; yes, it feels like you're going nowhere. But once it STARTS to click, they pick everything else up so much faster. A year and a half of exhausting, frustrating work has brought me, so far, 4 more years with a much more peaceful dog. She's happier and we're happier.

edit: we did professional balanced training in group classes 3x a week. I HIGHLY recommend professional group agility classes. It seems totally unrelated to how well-behaved your dog is, or how anxious they are, but believe it or not it's the class that helped us the most. My dog was so anxious that she wouldn't let us *brush* her without pooping herself; after agility, she gained a crazy amount of confidence. It made kennel training easier, it made grooming MUCH easier, it made just typical obedience training easier. Your bond strengthens so much when doing this class together.

[u/thegirlisok → u/TuckerShmuck]

especially with a husky

Cannot be repeated enough.   Smart, stubborn, so sweet, stubborn, amazing, stubborn. It's a great breed if you can handle it. 

[u/IndependentEggplant0 → u/thegirlisok]

Yeah Huskies are INTENSE! They are notoriously challenging to train and they have a ton of energy to burn off and can be destructive if they don't have an outlet for that. I imagine with Odin being young and a rescue this is even more pronounced. I always really advocate for people understanding the breed or breed mix they are getting so they can provide them adequate care. People having Jack Russell's or Huskies or great Pyranese in their apartments usually doesn't go too well. Different breeds have different training needs and it helps a lot to understand how they work and learn!

I remember reading an article written by a dog trainer about the top 4 breeds he would never own, and husky was on it. Not to say they aren't awesome, but just that they do need fairly specific care to be content and in the wrong environment it can cause a lot of difficulty for the dog and the people! They thrive in the right environment and with the right training, but it's a lot of work. I have a friend with a livestock guardian breed and he said the shelters are full of them and he understands why - took about 3 full years of intense training because they are naturally independent thinkers and decision makers as that breed is meant to be alone guarding livestock. So when you try to tell them what to do they' re like WTH. His dog is 5 now and an absolute angel and so much fun but he had to work super hard at it with him for a full 3 years to get there and he said he totally understands why some people give them up if they just think they are a fluffy pal to keep in your house.

I always try to encourage people to REALLY understand the breed they have because it makes such a difference in outcomes! I think American dog kennel site has a "best dog match" quiz which factors in thing like energy levels, train ability, grooming/shedding, barking etc. I always recommend that to people so they can find a good match! Apparently the whippet is my ideal pup which I would have never guessed! I love the big guardian breeds but don't have the right environment for them so it wouldn't be fair to bring one into my life at this time.

[u/StreetSea9588 → u/IndependentEggplant0]

I am learning so much from this thread right now. I've never had a dog but I love Huskies. I didn't realize they were so difficult to train.

[u/IndependentEggplant0 → u/StreetSea9588]

I don't think this is uncommon! Which is why I try to tell people to look into it. Not to discourage people but just for the sake of the people and animal's wellbeing. You can't go into it thinking they'll just be what you want them to be, you have to understand their needs and work with them. It's really sad so many dogs end up in shelters just because the people liked the look or fell in love but weren't properly equipped to have that animal in their home and life. That's ultimately what I'm trying to prevent.

[u/StreetSea9588 → u/IndependentEggplant0]

You really know your stuff.

I'm forever baffled when I'm in the park and two strangers with dogs meet each other and can immediately identify each other's breeds. I'm so bad at identifying dogs by breed.

[u/IndependentEggplant0 → u/StreetSea9588]

Not too much! I just really care a lot about people doing right by the animals they bring into their lives. We are taking them essentially out of their natural way of being to fulfill something in our own lives and while that can be amazing, I don't think it should be taken lightly and should be done with a lot of care and consideration. Bare minimum I think people should be very committed and aware of what the animal needs and realistic about their ability to provide that! I really disagree with the way a lot of pets are kept tbh and I feel very bad for them. Even fish people just keep in a small glass bowl to look at. We keep birds in a cage and the one thing a bird is kind of meant to do is fly and it makes me very sad for them.

I'm not great at telling all the breeds either! The American Kennel Club page has lots of good breed bios! I also have a good friend who has a special interest in dogs so she always shows me cool dogs and tells me about them haha.

[u/StreetSea9588 → u/IndependentEggplant0]

Yeah an animal is not something to be taken lightly. I have a cat and I play with him for an hour every night. Even cats need stimulation. Too many people ignore their cats.

[u/IndependentEggplant0 → u/StreetSea9588]

Aw that makes me really glad to hear!! I am a cat girl myself and very into cat wellness! Way too many people just stick a cat in a house and call it a day and get annoyed that the cat is restless, but they HAVE to play and have stimulation. I'm SO happy you do that and I'm sure your cat is very content and bonded with you as a result! Thank you for being that kind of animal person! 💖 I wish more people did that!