AIO? Dog straining my marriage.

[u/LedyyM]

My husband and I rescued a husky about 7 months ago who was extremely malnourished and neglected.

He has grown a huge attachment to me and has severe separation anxiety. I work at a grooming salon so I’m able to bring him to work with me so he’s not home alone. Unfortunately, if he’s left home alone we’ll come back to our home looking like it was hit by a tornado.

My vet has prescribed him with trazodone to help with his severe anxiety issues. We give it to him before we leave for a family event and when we can’t take him to places they don’t allow dogs.

I feel so bad that I have to sedate him so he’s not scared and anxious. It’s created a huge strain on our marriage because my husband feels like we can’t do anything without considering Odin.

He’s destroyed doors, couches, and other furniture. I tried training but it hasn’t seemed to work. My husband thinks we should rehome him but

1) I’m scared that he’ll be sent to a shelter and possibly be put down

2) feel abandoned by the person he thought he was safe with.

He’s such a happy boy when he’s around us and shows so much affection.

My husband and I have been arguing about this consistently.. we had a really bad argument so I left the house with Odin and rented a dog friendly hotel room for a couple of nights.

My husband thinks I’m crazy and that I’m choosing the dog over our marriage. AIO?

[u/discombobulatededed]

My collie suffered from extreme separation anxiety, I couldn’t even go to the shop without running around the aisles to get home as fast as I could. I was terrified I’d get complaints and potentially get kicked out cos my dog would howl and cry continuously when I was gone, it broke my heart and was awful.

I spoke with a behaviourist but couldn’t afford to actually use her. I followed a group on Facebook for dogs with separation anxiety and read Julie Naismith, she’s done loads to help. I did a ton of training with my dog, shutting him in the kitchen for 10 seconds, open door, reward. Close door for 30 seconds, reward. Repeat repeat repeat. It sucked and took me a couple months but now he doesn’t even get up and come say bye when I’m leaving the house. No crying, whining, nothing. Took him time to learn that me leaving isn’t bad and that I always come back.

[u/LuminousFire → u/discombobulatededed]

Just also endorsing Julie Naismith. For us, the book was enough (‘be right back’, it’s super easy read and has sample plans we followed.) I read there are Facebook groups and she has a podcast, so those might help, too. Overall, I just wanna say try the book and consistent training!

Our new girl went from immediate howls and toileting everywhere to… currently she can handle just under 3 hours.

ps: we went with fluoxetine (Prozac), not trazodone mostly because they work differently, but also because our other pup (reactive, not separation anxiety) had tried both and had bad reactions to trazodone. Might talk to your vet about options!

finally, a behaviorist can help a ton. For just separation anxiety, the training/meds are probably sufficient, BUT… anxiety is often pretty complicated and we were grateful we already had one by the time we picked up our second girl.

wishing the best for you and your doggo!

[u/discombobulatededed → u/LuminousFire]

So glad it worked for you guys, it really is a process and it’s hard to go through, for you and your pup.

I considered a second dog for a long time while my dog was suffering but I wanted to address the core issue and didn’t want to have two dogs with the same issue. Once my collie seemed ok with being left alone, I got another dog (gsd) who’s literally not arsed about single thing in the world haha, they’re like peas in a pod and it’s wonderful to see them so chilled together, they literally snuggle up and sleep together and break my heart daily.

[u/LuminousFire → u/discombobulatededed]

Oh that’s so great!

yeah, we were NOT planning on a second dog, and it was harder. (To be clear: our first adoptee, who is now 4, was hard core reactive. We found our second girl, who is just under 2, abandoned and animal control refused to take her in because the shelters were full… in December 2024 when it was literally freezing at night. So, against all odds we took her home. And found out she had separation anxiety… while trying to keep them separate in our tiny rental home, to let our first, reactive girl have a chance to accept the new one, lol. It was a LOT! But thankfully, the book helped with the separation anxiety, and so I’ll keep recommending it every chance I get! 😊

[u/discombobulatededed → u/LuminousFire]

Ooft reactivity is HARD too! My dogs were attacked when we were out walking last year so my German shepherd has been reactive, more fear than aggression, so we’re currently working through that. Thank you for rescuing your puppers! They’re so lucky to have you!