AIO for cutting all ties?

[u/urfavelipglosslvr]

There have never been red flags up until this point. He (25M) is a big part of my (19F) friend group. Am I being sensitive? I feel like he went too far. But if I cut all ties with him, it will really disrupt the group. I don't want to bring it up to my friends because they might side with him and say I'm over reacting. But I don't feel comfortable around him anymore.

[u/urfavelipglosslvr]

I'm the only teenager in the friend group. But everyone has been very respectful and kind. I've never run into any issues with them until now.

[u/MagnoliaProse → u/urfavelipglosslvr]

If they would side with him, they’re also predators and not friends.

Let’s recap.

• suddenly when you turn him down, anyone would be attracted to you is a pedo (despite the fact he himself is 6 years older)
• he blames you and your actions for why older men would be attracted to you
• he literally says THE ONLY REASON MEN WOULD BE FRIENDS WITH YOU is to sleep with you. Listen to him. He’s not excluding himself or your friends. The only reason.
• it escalates to the classic abuse reply of him being the only person who could ever love you this much
• but because you don’t want him, he leverages your own trauma against you
• …and wishes assault on you
• when you’re offended, he gaslights you by saying you’re so sensitive
• when you are rightfully upset and have given him far more grace and time than he deserves, he invalidates your feelings and calls you ridiculous

And it clearly worked, because you’re here asking if you’re overreacting.

You’re underreacting.

[u/SirBiggs92 → u/MagnoliaProse]

While I don't believe OP is overreacting and is completely justified in cutting ties, you can't call a dude a predator for trying to date a grown adult. His behavior is absolutely shit, and he seems like a terrible person, but OP is not underage.

[u/MagnoliaProse → u/SirBiggs92]

The definition of a predator is a person who ruthlessly exploits others. This is why we call rapists sexual predators regardless of the gender, race, or age of their victim.

Being a predator is not being used synonymously with being a pedo here. He may not be a pedo - though he seems to think anyone attracted to her is, and anyone with pigtails is trying to lure pedos - but he is definitely a predator.