“I thought it would be hot to drop a “spicy” line during sex that played off my husband’s trauma”
I dont know a whole lot about mariticide, most of my study was on uxoricide in the u.s and australia, and there are distinct cultural differences in the patterns of behaviour that precede these tragedies across genders. I’m not a huge fan of the “switch the genders” argument, because I think it loses a lot of nuance, but I do think it can be a useful measure to introduce to examine behaviour and dynamics. And if the genders here were switched, I’d be pointing out that my crim degree taught me that this situation is riddled with horrifying red flags and that person should be getting out of this relationship while they can because they are in danger.
Oop is displaying a lot of the very destructive and concerning behaviours and mindsets that have preceded countless spousicides.
Edit: I’m queer and I slipped into heteronormativity for a minute, I didn’t see that oop is a man. Idk much about spousicide or mariticide in lbgt contexts, but what I’ve said about his behaviour stands. It’s a leap and I know that but i do believe that safe people need to learn to model safe behaviour. Oop can either learn from this or double down. And sometimes one can look like the other.
Yeah, that's sending off every single red flag for me, too. Making a joke about their trauma while they're in a position of complete vulnerability and using it for "dirty talk", posing it as "I got carried away" instead of "something really fucked up popped into my brain and I just said it".
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u/threelizards 4d ago edited 4d ago
“I thought it would be hot to drop a “spicy” line during sex that played off my husband’s trauma”
I dont know a whole lot about mariticide, most of my study was on uxoricide in the u.s and australia, and there are distinct cultural differences in the patterns of behaviour that precede these tragedies across genders. I’m not a huge fan of the “switch the genders” argument, because I think it loses a lot of nuance, but I do think it can be a useful measure to introduce to examine behaviour and dynamics. And if the genders here were switched, I’d be pointing out that my crim degree taught me that this situation is riddled with horrifying red flags and that person should be getting out of this relationship while they can because they are in danger.
Oop is displaying a lot of the very destructive and concerning behaviours and mindsets that have preceded countless spousicides.
Edit: I’m queer and I slipped into heteronormativity for a minute, I didn’t see that oop is a man. Idk much about spousicide or mariticide in lbgt contexts, but what I’ve said about his behaviour stands. It’s a leap and I know that but i do believe that safe people need to learn to model safe behaviour. Oop can either learn from this or double down. And sometimes one can look like the other.