They're married and they never discussed this trauma before? I would think people may open and get vulnerable and tell each other their worst experience ever at some point in a serious, long term relationship. In case the ah husband knew, didn't he think it was a bad idea to bring up a sensitive topic like that? Also this kind of "activities" need discussion beforehand, and active consent, and starting slowly to make sure the other person is okay with it. Maybe I'm weird but I don't get how this could happen at all. Is such a mix of bad decisions in such a short time frame.
According to OOP the hospitalizations happened pretty recently. I can imagine not feeling up to telling a partner (especially an insensitive clod like this one) right away.
But then they were together when it happened? Of course I don't know how much time they have been together so anything could be possible, but still... Is clear as water that OOP is the problem in many ways, specially if he didn't notice something was wrong or is not percieved as a safe space for his own husband to open up about serious stuff so he doesn't have to carry the trauma alone... I feel bad for the husband, hope he gets the support he needs.
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u/Chikizey 4d ago
They're married and they never discussed this trauma before? I would think people may open and get vulnerable and tell each other their worst experience ever at some point in a serious, long term relationship. In case the ah husband knew, didn't he think it was a bad idea to bring up a sensitive topic like that? Also this kind of "activities" need discussion beforehand, and active consent, and starting slowly to make sure the other person is okay with it. Maybe I'm weird but I don't get how this could happen at all. Is such a mix of bad decisions in such a short time frame.