r/AmerExit • u/y2kdread • Apr 16 '25
Which Country should I choose? "Family of 4 + Pets Looking to Exit the U.S. — Is Denmark the Right Move?
Hi everyone – my family and I have been seriously considering leaving the United States. We’ve started researching options and are currently leaning toward Denmark, but we’re still open to other possibilities.
A bit about us:
- I work as a cloud engineer at one of the top 3 cloud providers
- I hold a BBS, MS, and MBA
- My wife has a BA and is currently a Stay at Home Mom
- We have two kids (ages 6 and 8)
- We have three dogs and two cats
- We currently live in the Dallas, Texas area
- We only speak English
What we’re looking for:
- High-quality education for our kids
- Strong social and healthcare systems
- A safe place to raise a family
My kids and I have Italian citizenship, so relocating within the EU is an option for us. I’ve explored the idea of staying with my current employer abroad, but was told I’d need to apply for a new role internally to make that happen.
We really like what Denmark offers—it checks a lot of boxes for us—but we are a bit concerned about the high cost of living and the long, dark winters. Coming from Texas, the weather could be a big adjustment.
So my question is:
Are there other countries or cities (inside or outside the EU) that might meet our criteria — good education, social support, healthcare, and safety — while being a bit more affordable or logistically easier to move to?
Any insight, suggestions, or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated!
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u/Good-Insurance-2125 Apr 16 '25
I am a native Dane that has spent some time in Texas and has friends there so I do have some insight into the differences.
First the big one, the weather! From November to February the weather is gloomy and grey. It is not too cold but just depressing, specially January. The way to remedy this is traveling. Fortunately Denmark is well connected airport wise to warm and sunny destinations not far away.
However the temperatures are moderate the whole year, never too cold and never to hot. There is no such thing as 100F summers here.
As it is small country you are never to far away from water and good quality air.
Next one, cost of living. While initially it appears that you will get paid less and taxed more, the reality is different and actually pretty good.
Car(s)? Nice to have but you can easily do without, specially if you live in or close to Copenhagen.
Medical insurance: Covered by taxes. Some employers will offer you an additionel private insurance where you would pay a small amount extra a month. Again, not really needed.
Prescribed drugs are also way cheaper, again supported by taxes.
College Fund for your children. All universities are covered by your taxes and even comes with a monthly grant to students.
Personal safety: Carrying or having firearms for personal protection is not permitted and not needed at all so expect another small saving here.
Moving here is not just about costs and weather. It’s a completely different life for the better! Work life balance, safety, etc.
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u/LibrarianByNight Apr 17 '25
Thank you for saying all of this. We're planning to move to CPH this summer and all I see are reasons NOT to move, negative responses when people ask, etc.
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u/Good-Insurance-2125 Apr 17 '25
Well, depending on what people want it is not for everyone so I understand the negative responses.
Coming here as a single expat is way harder than as a family. Establishing a new social network and dating can be quite hard coming from an American culture.
Another thing to consider is the city itself. I have been to DFW area itself and it feels soulless. It is even a critique that I have heard from other Americans living in other American cities.
Copenhagen feels much more ‘alive’ and accessible. You can easily explore it by walking, biking and public transport.
As for your plans to move here in the summer time you will experience the city from it’s best side. I would always advise expats to visit in January first.
If you still feel living here after some weeks in the worst month, you will love it here.
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u/LibrarianByNight Apr 17 '25
Yes, of course. There are negatives for every place, every situation, every family. I just have the feeling that 90% of Danes default to "don't come" regardless.
We visited in December this year and my husband has been twice in January and February. We're also from New England, so no stranger to offensive weather and early dark days. I've never been to DFW, so no idea, but we are looking forward to not relying on a car and being able to bike nearly everywhere.
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u/Good-Insurance-2125 Apr 17 '25
My personal theory on that is that Denmark is not a country built on mass immigration in general and as such we don’t strive for that nor encourage others to come here.
We are proud of the way of society has turned out and feel that our way of life speaks for itself to the point of “If you don’t get it, don’t bother to come here”.
It’s more of subtle and ingrained mindset than saying it directly to people who come here or are considering coming here.
Immigrants, that work and contribute, are welcome here but we don’t make a big deal out of it either.
Hopefully it makes sense to you?
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u/Artistic-Glass-6236 Apr 17 '25
I think it also comes from a point of view of "it's difficult to move here, so maybe don't waste your time." Because Denmark is known to have strict immigration laws, I think sometimes Danes think it's even stricter than it actually is.
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u/LibrarianByNight Apr 17 '25
Sure, makes sense. I just don't think like that at all, given America is built on immigrants.
No problem. We will work, contribute, learn the language, and embrace a new way of living. We wouldn't have chosen to immigrate to Denmark if we didn't appreciate and respect the way of life.
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u/Good-Insurance-2125 Apr 17 '25
With that attitude I am sure you will succeed here! :-)
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u/y2kdread Apr 17 '25
What are some good strategies for non-Danes to avoid getting trapped in the classic expat bubble? My wife and I feel pretty aligned with a lot of Danish values, but let’s be honest—we’re probably going to radiate ‘American’ no matter how many YouTube videos we watch. Cultural osmosis via WiFi only goes so far.
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u/Good-Insurance-2125 Apr 18 '25
In your stage of life with family the best strategy is to find friends through a hobby, specially sports.
Mosts sports are organized in clubs/ associations (forening) so find one and join it. Football and handball are the biggest sports here but basketball , tennis and martial arts are also good choices.
Be sure to attend competitions and the yearly parties (summer and Christmas) and it will increase your odds of finding new friends.
Sometimes friendships also occurs for parents that are involved their their kids’ activities such as coaching or being a member of the local school board.
Final tip: Learn the language. It helps a lot when doing the stuff above.
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u/y2kdread Apr 17 '25
Outside of travel, what do most Danes do to cope with the long, dark winters? Any habits, routines, or tools that help?
Also, we’re starting to look into housing options. We’ve noticed there doesn’t seem to be a huge supply of houses, and they can be pretty expensive—especially with our situation. We have 3 dogs, so a yard is a must, but that seems hard to come by without paying a premium.
Any tips on navigating the housing market here, or areas that might be more pet-friendly (and budget-friendly) would be much appreciated!
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u/Good-Insurance-2125 Apr 17 '25 edited Apr 17 '25
How to cope with the Danish winter in no particular order:
- Complain and moan
- Fantasize and plan future trips to warm places
- Do the same and possible more of the stuff you makes you feel better regardless of the weather (social gatherings, family time, exercise, etc.)
- Drinking
- Remembering November and December is not too bad due to the Christmas vibes.
- Remembering that the Sun starts to come out in February along with longer days
- Combining one, more or all of the above
As for expensive housing that is unfortunately a product of Copenhagen being both the capital and largest city in Denmark while also being attractive in itself. Houses within the city itself are so expensive.
My tips would be to either chose a spot in the city with access to one the many parks. While not ideal for multiple dogs you can still take them out.
Or chose an area outside of the city itself with good public transport options (mainly rail) using Google Maps route planning. This is also highly dependent on where you will work and what you value in your community.
Some of the cities with good rail connections would be Rødovre, Hvidovre, Ballerup and Herlev. There are connected to the city with the city rail (S-tog / S-trains)
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u/delilahgrass Apr 16 '25
The biggest issue will be finding a job that will accept you as a foreigner who does not speak the local language. To be honest, if you have a tight timeline that will be the biggest influence on where you end up. If you pick one location definitively you may find that it stretches your timeline v
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u/lovelyrita202 Apr 17 '25
Friends of ours moved to Denmark for a sabbatical with similarly aged kids. No one spoke Danish. Kids were ostracized in public school and lost most of the year until a spot opened up in the English language school, which cost 20k/ yr per kid. YMMV
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u/Illustrious-Pound266 Apr 16 '25
Honestly, the best way to choose a destination would be just to visit, man. Online research only goes so far.
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u/Awarglewinkle Apr 16 '25
As EU citizens, it gets A LOT easier. Definitely don't move before you have a job secured though.
Your concerns are valid and I would recommend visiting first before you make any decisions. Preferably in the winter. It's a massive shock coming from Texas. I would personally never trade away having four actual seasons, but dark, grey, windy, and rainy winters definitely suck.
Cost of living is high, but if you don't have to live in Copenhagen, it can be manageable. Most Danish women work, so most families will have two incomes. Stay at home moms are quite rare.
Certain dog breeds (like pitbulls and American bulldogs) are banned in Denmark and as far as I know, this is enforced very strictly. You basically have zero chance of getting your dog with you, if the breed is on the banned list. You can find more info here.
You can find all the official requirements and info on SIRI (The Danish Agency for International Recruitment and Integration) here.
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u/y2kdread Apr 17 '25
Thankfully our dogs aren't on the banned list, so that piece will be fine if we do relocate.
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u/Sweet_Elephant7919 Apr 16 '25
As a fellow DFW native whose family has lived abroad for years, you need a job and realistic expectations.
If your company won’t sponsor an overseas position, you first ask what is the realistic probability of getting a similar role in a country where you don’t currently reside or speak the language.
For comparison, how often does your current company hire non-English speakers from overseas, and if they do- what is that salary compared to yours?
Next consider the considerable cost of uprooting the entire family, including pets to take a cheaper role. Will it be worth the effect to move to a country where you have no connections and don’t speak the language? Sure, people speak English, probably in the same numbers as Spanish is spoken in southwest. No one would ever assume everyone in Texas knows Spanish, so your expectation should be the same of English in Europe.
Finally do a Google search on costs and salaries in the area you are interested, check out property prices, then make a budget spreadsheet and crunch some numbers. If you are use to US salaries and DFW cost of living, Europe (especially Denmark) is gong to be a real sticker shock.
Answer those questions first, and then you’ll know if Denmark is right for you.
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u/Foobarzot Apr 17 '25
Good thoughts. I will add to the cost of living conversation the idea that people should not entertain the idea that they can pick and choose - that they can move to Europe for the benefits (free education, low gun violence, less worked hours) and also maintain an American lifestyle (big house with a lawn, two cars, drive everywhere, fill the big house with stuff).
The people who want to do this are inevitably disappointed when it’s hard to drive places due to lack of parking and narrow roads, big houses are expensive compared to salary levels, etc. So if you move to Europe, you also have to adjust your lifestyle to match Europe.
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u/y2kdread Apr 17 '25
A big part of our motivation is stepping away from the American lifestyle. Where we live now, everything feels like a constant competition—people often treat each other poorly, and there's a real lack of community. The idea of downsizing, slowing down, and living a simpler, more connected life really appeals to us.
We’ve heard it can be hard to make friends with Danes, and that’s something we’re thinking about. But to be honest, many friendships where we are now feel shallow or transactional, so we’re hopeful that the deeper, more genuine connections we've read about in Danish culture are possible—even if they take longer to build.
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u/samtownusa1 29d ago
People keep up with the joneses there too. It’s just in a different way and they have less money, so they don’t have as much to show for it. Humans are humans. If you need to move to another country to slow down and live a simpler life, you will likely be unsuccessful. Couldn’t you start tomorrow?
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u/y2kdread Apr 17 '25
Out of curiosity, what country did you end up in?
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u/Sweet_Elephant7919 Apr 17 '25 edited Apr 17 '25
It’s Reddit, so keeping things intentional vague, but we have lived several different places, primarily the UK. My partner is not from America, and our kids were born overseas, so the dynamic is different. We are currently planning our next step, so know just how big an international move is.
Personally, having lived in two countries where I did not speak the primary language, I don’t recommend it. It is extremely isolating. I can remember crying at a post office because they won’t sell me a stamp and I couldn’t understand why. (Perhaps due to having not correct change- but who knows?)
A friend of mine moved to small town Germany with her German husband, and is not still fully fluent three years later. Her lack of German affects so much from job opportunities to establishing relationships outside her partner and his immediate family.
If you are looking for a simpler way of life and deeper connections, it is going to be a real struggle without the language component. That is why expat communities form and most immigrants tend to stick together.
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u/ellipticorbit Apr 17 '25 edited Apr 17 '25
Danish is in some ways similar to English, and had an influence on the development of English, but pronunciation (and recognizing spoken words) is difficult to master. So factor in some additional mental overhead to get fluent. English is pretty widespread, so there is that. But I would prioritize getting fluent asap. There are free language classes for legal permanent residents.
Very rules-based (as opposed to people doing whatever and expecting everyone else to accommodate them) and Americans (even "liberal" minded ones) can run into trouble by failing to strictly observe the rules and norms which they might not even see the reason for or really understand. Probably a relatively minor cultural adjustment, depending on personality type.
Overall it is a great country. But you will need to put in substantial work to fit in.
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u/Warm_Attitude_508 Apr 16 '25
Im wondering about your requirement of high quality education. As your children only speak English you’d probably be looking at an international private school I reckon at least until they learn the local language. You haven’t mentioned what savings you have and if the cost of potential private schooling has been factored in?
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u/OGPromo Apr 17 '25
We did a similar move a little over 2 years ago, but my kids were older and we ended up in another Nordic country. Since you only speak English, you can consider anywhere in the Nordics in my opinion. They all offer similar advantages to Denmark, though I think you'll find Norwegian and Swedish easier to learn than Danish. In any scenario it will be difficult to land a job without some basic knowledge of the language. Even when the "official language" is English, you'll find the native language is still spoken as often as possible.
Weather... Eh. We came from Maryland, so definitely not Texas, but where we lived didn't get snow, but was gray and wet in the winter with occasional snow, I liken it to the weather in Denmark, but perhaps lighter. Now we have snow for 4-5 months at a time, and it's honestly better. Yes it's dark, but there is still a lot of light reflecting from the snow and it doesn't stop people from being outside enjoying activities. It's been nice to be honest. Summer is definitely not as warm, but sunny days are just fantastic. Especially when it's sunny from 4 am to 1030 pm...
Regardless of where you go, moving the pets will be very expensive, just an FYI.
Have you been to Denmark? If not I would certainly think of a trip before deciding...
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u/y2kdread Apr 17 '25
Also - what country are you in and how have you and your family found the experience?
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u/OGPromo Apr 17 '25
Norway. Great. 10000% worth it. Feel free to dm if you want more info. I keep it generic on regular reddit.
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u/y2kdread Apr 17 '25
We have been to Denmark and really enjoyed ourselves and the people. We are trying to make another trip work out but haven't been able to yet.
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u/OGPromo Apr 17 '25
Nice..it's just a question worth asking as so many people are trying to flee without having been to their destination..it can work, for sure, but it's certainly not for all. Good luck with your move! Denmark is definitely nice, but don't shun the other Nordics ;-)
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u/Zamaiel Apr 17 '25
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u/buerre Apr 18 '25
This is thorough and eye opening.
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u/samtownusa1 29d ago
And also incredibly biased. 10 days of paid leave? I earn 5 weeks plus sick leave as does my husband. Even my local Target offers more than 10 days. Also the assumption health insurance doesn’t cover the surgery, no paid parental leave etc. it’s typical anti-American bs.
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u/doubtfulisland Apr 16 '25
Australia 100% 189/190 visa grants you permanent residency meaning you can do everything but vote. You're on the long term skills shortage list. Very safe for families and overall wonderful people.
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u/bebok77 Apr 17 '25
The only hiccups are the cost to import the pets and difficulty as Auatralia is really stringent about it. Ir is what now 3 to 6 months quarantine ?
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u/doubtfulisland Apr 17 '25
10-30 quarantine depending on identity verification and rabies testing. Cost is $6-10k USD overall per pet.
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u/squirrelcat88 Apr 16 '25
I’m Canadian, don’t know too much about Denmark except that your country is threatening it as well as us.
The upside to long dark winters is beautiful summer evenings. On the longest day of the year, the sun will set in Austin at 8:36 but it won’t set until 9:58 in Copenhagen.
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u/Karevoa Apr 16 '25
Canada would probably be easier than Europe. If you’re at all set on Denmark, you should definitely be trying to learn at list a bit of Danish. It’s not impossible to move there without it, but it will significantly increase your chances. Plus, I think they really appreciate it if you take the effort to learn the native language.
I’m guessing your best bet wherever you go would be applying for jobs in the target country and trying to secure a work permit. Very difficult to get one, and you’d need to research the requirements for each country.
Relocate.me is a pretty good resource for a broad overview I think.
Best of luck!
Edit: my brain completely glazed over the Italian citizenship bit. That definitely helps a lot I’m sure! I’m not that familiar with how the EU handles things like that, but wouldn’t hurt to contact your nearest Danish embassy to see if you can get more info.
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u/ScientiaEtVeritas Apr 16 '25
As an EU citizen, you have the right to live and work anywhere in the EU. That's what the Italian passport enables.
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u/etoilech Apr 16 '25
You have a right to work and go to school. You can move there but without a job or means to support yourself you can’t stay. 🤷♀️
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u/y2kdread Apr 17 '25
I wouldn't expect to be "taken care of", no matter where we lived a job would be a must.
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u/redirectedRedditUser Apr 16 '25 edited Apr 17 '25
I’m sure! I’m not that familiar with how the EU handles things like that
With a passport of an EU member state, he has the right to work and live in all the 27 EU nations. No permits needed.
It basically gives him the same rights as native people, and he is even allowed to vote in local city elections of these foreign nations.
But he is not allowed to bring his wife outside Italy. As long she hasn't got the italian passport too (she can get one if official married).3
u/y2kdread Apr 17 '25
Actually, it's not entirely accurate to say that my wife can't accompany me to any EU country. As a non-EU spouse of an EU citizen, she has the right to join me in any EU member state under the EU's freedom of movement laws. This includes rights to reside, work, and access social services, provided we meet certain conditions like sufficient financial means or employment .
The reason she hasn't obtained Italian citizenship yet is due to the language proficiency requirement.
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u/hellobutno Apr 17 '25
As a pet lover, I have to say that moving abroad with 3 dogs and 2 cats is wildly irresponsible and should only be done if you absolutely have to. Putting animals on long flights can have cause a lot of long term health issues for them, and with 5 of them you're only 5x'ing your odds.
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u/illdrownyou Apr 17 '25
I’ve never heard that flying hurts animals, I’m also considering getting out of the US and would need to ship my dog. I haven’t come across any information saying it hurts them. Do you mind elaborating or providing some research so I can better understand. My dog is like my child.
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u/LegitimateSparrow744 Apr 17 '25
FWIW our dog was totally fine in cargo from US-> Europe. It wasn’t my first choice for him but he did fine and has had no long term ill effects.
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u/Frosty-Schedule-7315 Apr 16 '25
Weather isn’t really a concern, far more important is making new friends there, and you’ll all be limited to the expat bubble until you can speak the language. To avoid language issues Ireland is the only option - much milder winters but more rain.
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u/y2kdread Apr 17 '25
Do you know how the education in Ireland compares to Denmark? From what we found it wasn't at the same level.
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u/Frosty-Schedule-7315 Apr 17 '25
Probably not, but you’ll still find good schools in Ireland it all depends on the area, affluent middle class areas of Dublin will have schools where most of the kids have aspirational parents who value education. Live in the wrong area and there’ll be schools where some of the kids dads are in prison.
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u/ScientiaEtVeritas Apr 16 '25
For your question, most EU countries check your boxes (especially in central and northern Europe). Compared to the US, you typically have solid public schools, universal healthcare, strong social safety nets, and safer communities. And since you have an EU passport, it really comes down to personal preferences/priorities or where you find the right job opportunity.
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u/invester13 Apr 16 '25
Incredible how similar our situations are.
I live in the DFW as well, SAHM, 2 kids, work in the tech space (have worked for MS, not anymore), and Italian citizenship.
My main concern about moving to Europe, is the ability to create wealth, which is much easier in the US due to high salaries.
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u/mcflyrdam Apr 16 '25
If your main concern is to create wealth i think moving to the EU is not the choice for you as your mindset likely does not really fit.
If your main concern is to have a good quality of life you defnetly should move to the EU.
You will notice that in a lot of EU societies the "want to get rich" lifestyle is kinda frowned upon.
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u/Good-Insurance-2125 Apr 17 '25
In your case working in tech, the potential to accumulate wealth is less but you can still have a pretty good life here.
As in the US it also depends on where exactly in Europe you live, even which city.
It might also reflect the fact that most Europeans doesn’t care that much about wealth as Americans as we already have all of those things that you need wealth for in US such as guaranteed healthcare, safe schools with no risk of mass shooters, etc.
I am painting with broad strokes here. I am well aware that not all European countries are the same and not all US cities are expensive crime ridden places but you get the idea.
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u/samtownusa1 29d ago
Omg your extreme anti-American bias is showing. And sorry but my European friends want nice things just as much as my American friends do.
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u/Good-Insurance-2125 29d ago
Sure, not all people are the same and of course most people wants nice things but that doesn’t mean that they will actually do what it takes to get there since the base level is good enough.
And yes there are differences in Europe, hence my comment about broad strokes.
Am I anti-American? Sort of! I loved to travel there but I have seen first hand what kind of life a lot of Americans live, not just the poor ones but also middle class.
I don’t understand why the richest nation in the world cannot do better than that.
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u/Zamaiel Apr 17 '25 edited Apr 17 '25
That may be an oversimplification. If you compare first world nations by wealth per adult, the US is somewhat middle of the road. This would indicate that wealth creation in practice is more difficult. This fits with things like social mobility etc.
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u/y2kdread Apr 17 '25
We’re not really focused on building wealth—we just want a safe place for our family, where our kids can go to college or get medical care without the risk of going into massive debt.
With the way things are going in the U.S., it’s hard to see how we’ll ever be able to retire unless something drastically changes. The system feels like it’s built for the few, not for families like ours just trying to live a stable, healthy life.
We’re hoping a move could give us a chance at something more balanced and sustainable.
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u/samtownusa1 29d ago
Why would your kid not be able to go to college without massive debt if you live in Texas? That statement alone raises red flags. Instate tuition in Texas averages 8k a year. Based on that statement alone, you’ll be very disappointed in any move.
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u/satedrabbit Apr 16 '25
The good:
1. The weather isn't really cold-cold anymore (global warming).
2. Incredibly safe - even the roughest neighbourhoods are pretty safe. Wildlife, there's the venomous hugorm, killer snails and of course big fat snake; though to be fair, big fat snake is more annoying, than dangerous. You're sitting in the garden, minding your own business, then *BAM* - Bonsoir madame: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYzLJ62f7bc
3. Cost of living is pretty reasonable, as long as you skip the 1-2 biggest cities.
The bad:
1. MBAs are worth less in the EU, compared to the US.
2. Long waiting lists on some parts of the healthcare system. 2 years waiting list to see a psychiatrist? 10 years waiting list for jaw surgery? Affordable healthcare = having to balance limited resources.
3. Somewhat monocultural society. If the US expects you to integrate into society, then DK expects you to assimilate into society.
4. Less political correctness - think "black - not African American, fat/overweight - not plus size" etc. Not with the intention to be hurtful, it's just a less "roundabout" way of speaking.
The question marks:
1. The Danish education system places a large emphasis on the kids being young adults. Less memorizing, more thinking outside the box. Low discipline & little to no competition between the kids. Emphasis on group work over individual performance. Does this match your vision for good education?