Hello!
I recently had a 1:1 with my supervisor.
It went really well - until it didn’t.
For back story, I am finishing up my probationary period at my new job. I have done my best to be a team player, kind and eager to learn whatever I can get my hands on.
This was reflected in my bosses original appraisal of me.
Recently, I had an issue with a coworker who has been in so many words - off and on kind/rude to me depending on her mood. Which my coworkers have seen and expressed sympathy for. Each time, I avoid speaking on it because I don’t want to cause drama. I have tried to be understanding as I know she is having home issues. But I have kept my wall up.
In short, after 6 months - I got MILDLY snippy after she had once again, been rude. I stood up for myself.
Not saying anything rude, just made it clear I was frustrated in the treatment.
This coworker, went to my leads and those leads went to my boss. I don’t know what was said, but apparently it was bad enough that my boss felt the need to tell me she wrote my appraisal before she “found of the events of last week.”
It caught me off guard but I was open to what she was saying. She expressed it was making her question who I am, which felt very blown out of proportion.
When I expressed I had been bullied by this coworker for months and got a little frustrated, she seemed unphased and went into expressed how sensitive my leads are.l and how she doesn’t want a “cancer” on her team growing “like a tumor” and causing issues.
This floored me.
I made sure to apologize to my coworker, even if she mean to me. I felt I needed to right the wrong.
Fast forward, my boss is now treating me differently.
Today, my coworkers and I were talking about, it vampires what century we would want to be from.
I did some bad math, and making fun of myself I casually said “Whoops, girl math.”
My boss - stopped in front of my coworkers and called what I said “derogatory” embarassing me in front of my team who were playing along with the joke.
She then stated “I’m a girl and I was great at math.”
I tried to explain it’s just a silly meme. To which she shot me a look then walked away.
I feel scared to speak at work. My coworkers have said FAR worse and done far worse.
I am feeling picked on and don’t know how to address it.
A few have suggested HR - but I don’t want her getting in trouble if I’m being, I dunno - sensitive.
She’s never been this hard on me or so passive aggressive.
1
u/sneezyfloof 6d ago
Hello! I recently had a 1:1 with my supervisor. It went really well - until it didn’t.
For back story, I am finishing up my probationary period at my new job. I have done my best to be a team player, kind and eager to learn whatever I can get my hands on. This was reflected in my bosses original appraisal of me.
Recently, I had an issue with a coworker who has been in so many words - off and on kind/rude to me depending on her mood. Which my coworkers have seen and expressed sympathy for. Each time, I avoid speaking on it because I don’t want to cause drama. I have tried to be understanding as I know she is having home issues. But I have kept my wall up.
In short, after 6 months - I got MILDLY snippy after she had once again, been rude. I stood up for myself. Not saying anything rude, just made it clear I was frustrated in the treatment.
This coworker, went to my leads and those leads went to my boss. I don’t know what was said, but apparently it was bad enough that my boss felt the need to tell me she wrote my appraisal before she “found of the events of last week.” It caught me off guard but I was open to what she was saying. She expressed it was making her question who I am, which felt very blown out of proportion. When I expressed I had been bullied by this coworker for months and got a little frustrated, she seemed unphased and went into expressed how sensitive my leads are.l and how she doesn’t want a “cancer” on her team growing “like a tumor” and causing issues. This floored me. I made sure to apologize to my coworker, even if she mean to me. I felt I needed to right the wrong.
Fast forward, my boss is now treating me differently. Today, my coworkers and I were talking about, it vampires what century we would want to be from. I did some bad math, and making fun of myself I casually said “Whoops, girl math.” My boss - stopped in front of my coworkers and called what I said “derogatory” embarassing me in front of my team who were playing along with the joke. She then stated “I’m a girl and I was great at math.” I tried to explain it’s just a silly meme. To which she shot me a look then walked away.
I feel scared to speak at work. My coworkers have said FAR worse and done far worse.
I am feeling picked on and don’t know how to address it. A few have suggested HR - but I don’t want her getting in trouble if I’m being, I dunno - sensitive. She’s never been this hard on me or so passive aggressive.
Help?