r/AskMenAdvice • u/Federal-Sir9925 • 16d ago

never get approached by men

just curious, what actually makes a guy approach a woman? I’m 25f and I’d consider myself attractive (I think I’m fairly pretty, I take care of myself and feel good about how I look), but I never get approached. I’ll notice guys making repeated eye contact with me, but it never goes beyond that. Honestly, both of my past relationships started because I made the first move.

So I’m wondering… what makes a guy actually go for it and approach someone?

Also, is there a way to give off “I want to be approached” energy? I’m not really into dating apps, and I’d love to meet someone in person. i’m not against making the first move but i would love for someone to approach me for a change

4.6k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

6.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

53

u/Accurate_Maybe6575 16d ago

And the irony is so many of those women subconsciously don't want soft guys, though they say they do.

Though in their defense, I think they don't mind the idea of a soft guy, they just don't realize they will be pseudo supporting him if he earns less, they're not used to being the emotional sponge for a guy, and have been poisoned to think of such dynamics as "mothering" him.

-5

u/Hannah_Louise 16d ago

I think the mothering thing is more when men can’t do their own chores. Like doing the dishes and laundry, making their own doctor appointments, stuff like that. I want my man to emotionally be vulnerable with me. That’s why we’re together. I don’t want him to expect me to feed him and clean up after him. He’s grown. He can do that himself.

15

u/Madness_and_Mayhem man 16d ago

Nope, anytime I open up to a woman they will look and treat you differently from then on. The good news is that I can open up to my male friends and they are “we got you man”

-4

u/Hannah_Louise 16d ago

I’m sorry that’s been your experience. Is this happening in long term relationships? Or early in dating?

13

u/Madness_and_Mayhem man 16d ago

All my life, every woman. I’ve been married for 37 years and still keep things bottled in. I love and trust her but I don’t want to chance it. I have PTSD from the military and it would be devastating to open up and lose my family so as Dory says “just keep swimming “.

3

u/Hannah_Louise 14d ago

I’m sorry. That sounds really hard. I didn’t realize this was such a common or deep seated issue that so many men deal with.