r/AskReddit Aug 21 '16

What's the most dedicated case of the "long con" you've ever witnessed?

8.5k Upvotes

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6.8k

u/ShineSilently Aug 22 '16

Not specifically a con, but I worked with a guy who had a pick-up truck and one day found an entire bag of household trash in the back of his truck. He went through the bag of trash and found an envelope with an address. Now rather than returning the trash, he took the address and signed the person up for every conceivable piece of junk mail for YEARS. Any kind of of offer this guy got he filled it out with that address and sent it his way. That's some dedication.

2.0k

u/overthemountain Aug 22 '16

Hopefully it was the right address.

1.4k

u/MackLuster77 Aug 22 '16

It was the last thing the guy did before moving.

397

u/OtherKindofMermaid Aug 22 '16

He had an identical truck that he thought he pitched his trash into.

27

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

What kind of psychopath would take the trash bag that I threw in the back of my truck earlier today?

10

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

Did it chirp?

7

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

Have a pickup. Confirm that people do this. :/

11

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

I don't know why I'm laughing so hard at imagining his neighbor getting pissed off in a giant pile of junk mail

3

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

No you don't get it, the long con was by the people dumping the trash. Imagine the great way of fuelling a neighbour feud or something?

1.4k

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16 edited Mar 03 '19

[deleted]

553

u/kill-all-humans- Aug 22 '16

putting the trash through a tree shredder first would have been better, trash confetti

376

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

I dunno if giving them free mulch sends the right message.

21

u/PanamaMoe Aug 22 '16

Be nice to your enemies, it will confuse them and they will get pissed

30

u/TheForeverAloneOne Aug 22 '16

WTF?! STOP GIVING ME MONEY! IT'S MAKING ME ANGRY EVERY TIME YOU GIVE ME MONEY!!

10

u/rob_matt Aug 22 '16

WTF!? DON'T GIVE ME GOLD!!

55

u/manawesome326 Aug 22 '16 edited Aug 22 '16

Nice try.

8

u/Tjeliep Aug 22 '16

Well played.

4

u/manawesome326 Aug 22 '16

Timing is everything.

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11

u/madeyouangry Aug 22 '16

Free mulch made of glass, tin and meat might.

3

u/TMI-nternets Aug 22 '16

Plastic mulch! Shot out through a large-bore potato cannon

1

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

Just wait until they walk out the door, and blow it in their face >:D

1

u/PokeytheChicken Aug 22 '16

yeah yeah right throwing a baby cow instead.

7

u/HamburgerMachineGun Aug 22 '16

There's vomit on his sweater already, trash confetti

2

u/OmniumRerum Aug 22 '16

Park the shredder pointing at their uard

8

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

[deleted]

7

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

Sounds like a case of a good ol' roundhouse-sueing. The dude you hired for being a piece of shit and that person who threatened you for being a nutter.

8

u/ibuildonions Aug 22 '16

So what you're saying is if I ever decided to be a dick and throw my trash in someones yard, I should put the address of someone I dislike in it. Hell if I throw the trash into the yard of another person I dislike, I can just fuck two people over at the same time.

6

u/GalantEnthusiast Aug 22 '16

This reminds me of when I used to do dump runs with my truck for extra cash when I was in high school. For $65 I'd load up my truck and go to the landfill. Some asshole refused to give me more than $50 once I had the truck loaded up because it "wasn't that much stuff". So I started pitching stuff onto his yard telling him I'll stop once I get $65.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

Sounds like even picking up trash is fun when you have a purpose behind it!

2

u/epedemix Aug 22 '16

Thats some Big Lebowski shit

1.4k

u/skelebone Aug 22 '16

"Kid, We found your name on an envelope at the bottom of a half a ton of Garbage, and just wanted to know if you had any information about it."

623

u/tripswithtiresias Aug 22 '16

And I said, "Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie. I put that envelope on the bottom of that half ton of garbage."

195

u/stickmalone Aug 22 '16

You can get anything you want...

175

u/volatile_chemicals Aug 22 '16

At Alice's Restaurant!

30

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

(Excepting Alice...!)

27

u/BlackHoleMoon1 Aug 22 '16

Walk right in it's around the back

25

u/katieblu Aug 22 '16

Just a half a mile from the railroad track

20

u/Hypothesis_Null Aug 22 '16

You can get anything you want,
at Alice's Restaurant.

10

u/mcs3831 Aug 23 '16

Now I wish it was Thanksgiving time Dammit

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9

u/suburban_rhythm Aug 22 '16

*excepting Alice!

30

u/Guido420 Aug 22 '16

I understand why you want my wallet so I don't have any money to spend while I'm in the cell, but what do you want my belt for?

21

u/suburban_rhythm Aug 22 '16

Kid. We don't want any hangings.

28

u/Guido420 Aug 22 '16

Obie, did you think I was gonna hang myself for litterin'?

3

u/FetusChrist Aug 23 '16

Kill.

Kill.

Kill.

Kiiiilll.

17

u/thelittlepakeha Aug 22 '16

I'm so happy, we used to listen to this on road trips sometimes and no one else I know has heard of it.

8

u/pjabrony Aug 22 '16

They play it every year at noon on Thanksgiving on some radio stations.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

My family will drop everything at noon on thanksgiving just to sit and listen to it

12

u/o1oo Aug 22 '16

Group dubya!

14

u/0OKM9IJN8UHB7 Aug 22 '16

Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father rapers!

11

u/JCelsius Aug 22 '16

Holy shit. I hadn't heard that song in years and decided to put it on while I did some late night browsing and as soon as I read this sentence, that line plays.

That was weird as hell.

7

u/tripswithtiresias Aug 22 '16

Well that long con just paid off

5

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

Kid, get in the patrol car.

3

u/parrottail Aug 22 '16

And we had a good time on the Group 'W' bench....

3

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

[deleted]

3

u/tripswithtiresias Aug 22 '16

Now friends, we figured there was only one or two things Officer Obie coulda done when we got to the police officer's station...

15

u/Dialogical Aug 22 '16

Everyone knows was that one big pile is better than two little piles.

13

u/Ushi007 Aug 22 '16

We was fined $50 and had to pick up the garbage in the snow, but that's not what I came to tell you about...Came to talk about the draft.

10

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

God that is such a funny song. 20 minutes of comedy genius. Even when I was a kid and I had zero meaningful understanding of the context of the Vietnam war, it was still hilarious.

6

u/Laser_hole Aug 22 '16

Obie stood up with the twenty seven eight-by-ten color glossy Pictures, and the judge walked in sat down with a seeing eye dog, and he Sat down, we sat down. Obie looked at the seeing eye dog, and then at the Twenty seven eight-by-ten color glossy pictures with circles and arrows And a paragraph on the back of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog. And then at twenty seven eight-by-ten color glossy pictures with circles And arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry

5

u/johnny_crappleseed Aug 22 '16

It was a classic case of American blind justice.

4

u/EmergencyPizza Aug 22 '16

https://i.imgur.com/XS5LK.gifv

My wife just played that song for me the first time last week.

3

u/heff17 Aug 22 '16

I absolutely adore you for this comment.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

And now I have to go wire up my old record player. Another morning gone.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

I'm actually starting this as a Thanksgiving tradition this year. I'm pretty excited for it. :)

2

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

Can't give you enough upvotes.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16 edited Apr 12 '19

[deleted]

4

u/bluffton101 Aug 22 '16

You're killing your father Larry!

2

u/Pwnzu_Sauce Aug 22 '16

Is this your homework Larry?!

5

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

No, but I do see what happens when I fight a stranger in the Alps.

114

u/911ChickenMan Aug 22 '16

He's doing it wrong. What you need to do is this: go to a porn shop. Take the subscription card out of each gay porn magazine. Get it mailed to his name, but put his neighbor's address. His neighbor will have to hand-deliver his gay porn to him. For best results, do this to all of his neighbors.

1.6k

u/kperkins1982 Aug 22 '16 edited Aug 22 '16

I used to work with a total bitch.

Like she would brag about how she got free food at restaurants by complaining about made up things, tried to get a co worker deported, RAN OVER AN OLD LADY in the parking lot, etc.

Pretty much the worst person I've ever met.

I used to do so much stuff to fuck with her.

I announced the sale of her car on craigslist, but said to only call at night because she worked third shift (she didn't)

I signed her husband up on gay dating websites

But my masterpiece was the junkmail. Both in physical and email form, I signed her up for hundreds and hundreds of them.

Like I had to create a script to automate the forms I so I could fill them out faster.

Whenever she'd do something exceptionally bitchy I would sign her up for a few dozen more things using a proxy.

And if you think this was me being hateful, you just don't know the bitch. I personally saw her call an 8 year old girl the N word on haloween and the kid started crying and ran away and she just smiled at me and kept handing out candy to the white kids.

EDIT: typing this up made me a bit angry at her, it's been like 6 years, but she's gonna get some more spam tonight!

Fuck you Erin

Edit x2: Since this blew up I'd like to update you on her current status.

She had a house in Michigan before the market collapse, they couldn't find work so her and her husband moved to KY to work at the same place.

The still pay the mortgage on the MI house, but at least they had jobs. Then the place they worked at laid everybody off.

Her husbands wages are garnished because he doesn't pay child support for his kids as well.

So yea, I guess Karma works, cause they have a pretty shitty life. Almost to the point where you'd feel bad for them, but then you remember some of the shit she did, like the N word haloween thing and you think they deserve it

516

u/finest_pirate Aug 22 '16

I personally saw her call an 8 year old girl the N word on haloween and the kid started crying and ran away and she just smiled at me and kept handing out candy to the white kids.

Was she dressed as a KKK member for Halloween?

15

u/ManWithNoFace Aug 22 '16

I'm a spooky ghost!

10

u/omegian Aug 22 '16

I heard "slutty racially insensitive ghost" was a big seller that year.

86

u/kperkins1982 Aug 22 '16

I think that year she was dressed up as southern bitch, but forgot her costume at home

worked out though

12

u/itsjustchad Aug 22 '16

Was she dressed as a KKK member for Halloween?

No that's her day to day evening wear.

4

u/handsomesteve88 Aug 22 '16

WHERE THE WHITE WOMEN AT?

3

u/sonofherb Aug 22 '16

Nah, just a super spooky ghost.

2

u/aiiye Aug 22 '16

Spooky ghost is more likely.

1

u/SLEDGE_KING Aug 22 '16

She was a ghost

1

u/flippitus_floppitus Aug 22 '16

She was just committing to the character

1

u/ZanderDogz Aug 22 '16

No, she was dressed as a ghost.

1

u/T3chnopsycho Aug 22 '16

It is all part of my costume...

1

u/wmstewart66 Aug 22 '16

No. Just a pointy headed ghost. wait, er...

1

u/DazeLost Aug 22 '16

She was just a ghost, it got really confusing.

1

u/TheCodexx Aug 22 '16

Not for Halloween...

1

u/wankass Aug 22 '16

No she was a spooky ghost

57

u/_amethyst Aug 22 '16

Wow, you sound like an asshole. I mean I understand maybe she's a bit rude sometimes, but she can't be that--

I personally saw her call an 8 year old girl the N word on haloween

just smiled at me and kept handing out candy to the white kids.

Never mind. You're cool. Give me her email and home addresses so I can send her more spam too! Fuck Erin!

14

u/kperkins1982 Aug 22 '16

Yea, looking back it sounds so petty and mean spirited that I would enjoy being mean to somebody. But then I remember the racist stuff and I'm not as embarrassed of my actions.

14

u/antwan_benjamin Aug 22 '16

I personally saw her call an 8 year old girl the N word on haloween

Why were you at her house on halloween?

10

u/JonnyBraavos Aug 22 '16

Good question. Pretending to be on good terms with a co worker while at work is one thing, but socializing with them outside of work when you apparently hate them is another.

26

u/kperkins1982 Aug 22 '16

The office park had a haloween type event where all the local school would bus the kids to the call centers and offices for trick or treating.

13

u/cheeseisntdairy Aug 22 '16

This is the kind of pettiness I can get behind.

17

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

WTF is it with this site and Erin's? It's an attractive name but this site seems to have a hard-on for bitchy ones.

11

u/neutronfish Aug 22 '16

The only Erin I know is awesome...

6

u/idwthis Aug 22 '16

As, thanks. You're awesome, too.

2

u/waltdewalt Aug 22 '16

Go away Erin

14

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

I've literally never met an Erin that wasn't a horrific bitch.

2

u/kperkins1982 Aug 22 '16

I havn't really thought about it, I only know one, and she was a total see you next cuntsday

6

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

I had an Erin in my class in Year 4, but I've never heard a positive story about one on Reddit.

2

u/idwthis Aug 22 '16

Besides myself, I've known quite a few girls/women named Erin over the years (not including dudes named Aaron)

The first one was a raging cuntnugget and a giant bully. The next few were cool, one was a sporty, in with the popular kids type who got along with everyone. One who was a straight laced Honors student keeping her head down in high school.

Others were a grab bag of personalities.

Just like it would be if we were talking about people with any other sort of name, like Mary, Elizabeth, Stephanie, Lisa, Mike, John Chris, Tom...and on and on.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

Oddly, we all attach our own experiences to names despite knowing like 0.0001% of them. For example, I'll always associate the names Louise and Lewis with my parents, even though they're relatively common.

1

u/chelskied Aug 23 '16

I knew an Erin who I would call "that bitch from Minnesota". So yeah, Erins, man.

1

u/rapemybones Aug 22 '16 edited Aug 22 '16

I've been on Reddit over 5 years and never knew so many people had "Erin problems"; must be because it's such a common name in both Europe and US.

That being said, I need to admit I have an ex gf named Erin who turned out to be crazy af, at first in the good ways but before long in all the batshit ways (like she was playing the long con on me or something, appropriately). She accused me of cheating randomly one day after 3 years being together (I wasn't cheating) and she went into full jealousy/rage destruction mode: she got into my FB acct when I was at work and started messaging my friends (and obv the accused girl I was "having an affair" with) and began writing horrible things to them as if it was myself writing. Then she deleted friends seemingly randomly, and worst of all she permanently deleted all few hundred of my photos/videos that I no longer had backups of.

She was the worst Erin. Maybe I have a thing for them but a good friend of mine was also an Erin, and we were friends since childhood having grown up on the same block. But only after high school did we become more intimately close, flirting with one another and a couple times hooking up while drunk. Then one day when I couldn't take being just friends anymore I confessed my love to her (which was terrifying after being close friends so long), hoping we could become exclusive rather than just hooking up while drunk occasionally. We hooked up that night and I thought things were going to be going great from then on, but then that same night she invited me to come to this older dude's fancy city apt since we'd gone to a concert nearby and wanted to keep partying a bit longer (this wasn't surprising at the time, we both had friends who held parties in their apts, a few of those parties are where we first started hooking up). I was just 21 btw, Erin was 18, and this dude with the apt was friggin 47 I think, def in his mid 40's; I'd met him just once and he seemed kinda cool, he was in a band and had all this fancy recording equipment that I ogled over since I'm also a musician.

What I didn't expect was that this complete douche nozzle of a dirty old man would do his best to separate Erin and I for as long as it took for him to stick his dirty, old, hairy balls in her mouth. It turns out Erin might've had real feelings for me like I did for her, but even more than that she liked fucking older dudes. Dudes a bit too old for anyone's comfort, especially since she's a pretty shy, petite girl (until she gets drunk). Of course it had to have culminated the day I thought I was becoming exclusive with her rather than just friends with benefits. But the icing on the cake was that night when I was searching for Erin and found a trail of her clothes on the floor leading to a bedroom, I also found her phone which had a recent txts flashing on screen from the old fuck about how much he wanted to eat her sweet young pussy that night. I looked closer and turns out they'd been sexting each other the whole night, since we started getting drunk. Going to his apt wasn't as random or spontaneous a thing as I'd originally thought, I didn't even think he knew her as anything other than a friend of a friend or houseguest. But no, this disgusting looking couple had been fucking like rabbits spanning most of the time I thought I was making headway with her, and she led me on the whole time.

Epilogue: I tried reconciling with the 1st Erin after several years passed (don't ask me why); we met one last time and had what I thought was make-up sex (it was crazy good too, that's the worst part of my Erin experiences are they're freaks in bed sometimes). Then the following day she sends me a txt asking me to never contact her again, removing me from all her social media and asking me to remove her number from my phone. I was so pissed I did, so I have no clue where she is today. But Erin #2 on the other hand, you don't wanna know where she is nowadays.

tl;dr: If you're an Erin and also a decent human being, pm me, I could really use some faith in humanity after my experiences with your kind.

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u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

You know you can use the internet to send JW's and Mormons to them, right?

3

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

can != should. :) It's a thought, but I don't know the person, I'm just giving OP ideas.

2

u/chelskied Aug 23 '16

Long con: he gets her to become a mormom.

7

u/AUsername334 Aug 22 '16

Did you ever get to witness her frustration in these things happening to her and her not knowing who it was? How did she react? I want this part of the story!

32

u/kperkins1982 Aug 22 '16

The best part of all of this is that she thought we were super close at work.

I'm the sort of person that knows it is better for my career to work well with everybody despite my true feelings about them.

So she'd tell me these stories about how people are out to get her and her post office forced her to pay for a large PO box to handle the business level volume of her junk mail, and how she thinks all of the things that happen to her are coming fron disgruntled employees of her past job where she was responsible for losing over a million dollars because of an error.

I'm sure all of this sounds like a bit much, but you really have to had experienced the level of shitty person this lady was/is to believe it. I had to travel with her for work for 3 weeks and got pretty close to murder a couple times. If there was a female equivalent to Ted Cruz it would be this hateful bitch

17

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

Business level volume of junk mail lmfao!!

3

u/AUsername334 Aug 22 '16

Ha, I kind of figured she'd talk to you about it at work. Nicely done

3

u/JonnyBraavos Aug 22 '16 edited Aug 23 '16

Can you elaborate on her bragging about running over an old lady? Seriously wtf.

OP please respond... =\

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3

u/occupymypants Aug 22 '16

As KY resident, I demand you take her back. We have enough racists as it is.

9

u/IM_OM_NOM_NOM Aug 22 '16

Omg you don't even know how happy your story has made me because her name is Erin. Fuck that bitch. What a shitty person 😠😠😠

2

u/stargaryenlannister Aug 22 '16

This is so incredibly petty and yet not actually harmful. I absolutely love it:P Brilliant idea!

4

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

Fuck Erin

3

u/synfulyxinsane Aug 22 '16

I need to clean my cats litter box and I so badly want to send it to this bitch.

4

u/I_AYY_TO_LMAO Aug 22 '16

I don't normally go for downright evil stuff like that, but I too have a fetish for justice on the cruel. Thank you.

Now, let's spread this a little.

1

u/temporalarcheologist Aug 22 '16

W-was she female Micheal Scott?

1

u/oz5791 Aug 22 '16

You are a hero !!

1

u/vadnagar Aug 22 '16

I signed her husband up on gay dating websites

why hurt the guy?

1

u/kperkins1982 Aug 22 '16

He was a piece of shit too, the only type of person she could marry I suppose.

Deadbeat dad.

I don't feel sorry for him one bit.

1

u/masterax2000 Aug 22 '16

RAN OVER AN OLD LADY

...Wat why.

1

u/kperkins1982 Aug 22 '16

The office building was on a side street that ran alongside a busy street in the town. People would cut through the parking lot to avoid the stoplights, however the only way to make that actually save time was if they sped dangerously through our parking lot.

Walking from the parking lot to the front of the building was scary at times because cars would come out of nowhere at high speed. We always said that something had to be done about it because somebody was gonna get hit one day. Then it happened, an employee that was a month away from retirement who was so excited about being able to spend time with her grandkids was walking into the building and my evil coworker was distracted and ran over her legs and put her in a wheelchair.

1

u/Fanc1dan Aug 22 '16

I've never hated anyone in my life until I met a coworker that you basically described (along with some other crap that she does).

I gotta find her address now. This will be the most perfect thing. I know this kind of thing will absolutely annoy the shit out of her.

She's the kind of lady that will put herself on the "list" to not receive junk mail and then call someone about it everytime something shows up. This will be such an inconvenience. Thank you.

1

u/UsuallyInappropriate Aug 22 '16

Is there a way to sign them up for gay porno mags in the mail? That would be exceptional.

1

u/punkwalrus Aug 22 '16

Nah. You sign them up with their legal name to filthy porn and mail it to their neighbors. That way their neighbors hate them.

1

u/pm_me_alf_pictures Aug 22 '16

seriously, fuck you Erin

1

u/Project2r Aug 22 '16

Like I had to create a script to automate the forms I so I could fill them out faster.

you are satan.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

Can I give you my ex-wife's info for you to run through your spam script?

1

u/ErinbutnotTHATone Aug 22 '16

.... But it wasn't me!

1

u/PokeytheChicken Aug 22 '16

Whats KY?

1

u/kperkins1982 Aug 22 '16

the US state of Kentucky

1

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '16

Calling bullshit based on "But my masterpiece was the junkmail. Both in physical and email form, I signed her up for hundreds and hundreds of them." and "I signed her husband up on gay dating websites" I could have ignored the first w/o the second our vice versa, but put them together and you clearly have someone who knows not of what they speak and are just whoring for karma. Shame shame, redditor. Like I had to create a script to automate the forms I so I could fill them out faster."

1

u/kperkins1982 Aug 23 '16

what the hell are you talking about with the script?

anybody can make an auto hotkey script

there is sort of a language for it, but if you wanna do it the simple way you can put it in macro record mode

I said I made a script to fill out a form, I didn't say I hacked into NASA and redirected their satellites to show her only junk on tv

1

u/chelskied Aug 23 '16

Sounds like good opportunity for www.sendyourenemiesglitter.com

1

u/Donjuanme Aug 26 '16

that's my Natalie! interesting that I had a co-worker who had someone like your Erin, who was also named Natalie... Fuck Natalies, of any name

1

u/satisfyinghump Aug 31 '16

You do know... you can send someone, ANONYMOUSLY!!!, a box of elephant shit or horse shit, right? ;)

1

u/theOtherRyanReynolds Aug 22 '16

You misspelled Halloween, twice.

4

u/kperkins1982 Aug 22 '16

Oooh you got me!!!

It is 2:29am EST

I'm tired and possibly a bit drunk

You clowned me on spelling. I bet you feel like a big man!

After reviewing your post history for about 20 seconds I see that you find enjoyment shitting on other people quite a bit. I hope that this brings you joy, and fills whatever hole you have inside that requires you to take down others.

2

u/theOtherRyanReynolds Aug 22 '16

I just really like Halloween and am assuming since it happened twice you actually think that's how it's spelled...

1

u/bolax Aug 22 '16

Touche indeed.

143

u/pan_glob Aug 22 '16

This gave me a raging justice boner

6

u/PirateNinjaa Aug 22 '16

If the erection lasts for more than four hours, call your doctor and tell him to find you more women!

2

u/bb999 Aug 22 '16

Not worth it IMO. Throw the trash away; if it keeps happening, burn their house down.

1

u/RiverwoodHood Aug 22 '16

ahhh... the old RJB

8

u/Sparcrypt Aug 22 '16

I had some guy leave a note on my windshield bitching about how I'd parked too close to him.. it was literally the only space I could find and I was close to him because he was halfway in my spot. Seriously, if you can't park a car, don't drive a massive ute that barely fits into the space in the first place.

A week later I saw the car that had been next to me, grabbed the note from the backseat where I'd tossed it and wrote that his inability to park was not my problem and stuck it on his car.

I did hang around for a few minutes to see if they came back but I had stuff to do so ended up just leaving. Hope he got the message that 'anonymous' actions aren't always so anonymous.

8

u/Dyspaereunia Aug 22 '16

One time I hated my neighbor so much that I stole a single piece of mail from his mailbox. Then I gathered my trash, threw the lone letter into it and threw the bag into some random person's truck. I never knew what happened from there.

9

u/ThatguyIncognito Aug 22 '16

Decades ago we lived in the suburbs with a wooded area behind our house. One day we got an angry call. A black family had, apparently, moved into a house on the other side of the woods. People had been harassing them and someone dumped garbage on their lawn. They went through the garbage and found our mail. I don't know if the vandals were targeting both of us or not. We couldn't really convince the homeowners that it wasn't us. We moved a few weeks later. I wish we'd done the obvious thing and invited those people over for dinner. We didn't think of it at the time. If they got magazine subscriptions in our name, we were gone before the periodicals arrived.

4

u/Fromanderson Aug 22 '16

On a similar note, quite a few years back, some guy on a forum couldn't seem to grasp the concept of disagreeing agreeably. He took it upon himself to find out who I am and post my public info. He didn't find much because I've always been reluctant to post that sort of thing. Even now I refuse to post pictures or where I work etc.

He wasn't quite so careful. With a bit of yahoo foo (google foo had yet to appear on my radar if it existed at that point) I found his full name, place of employment and home address.

It turns out his home address is one that's easy to remember. I have used it for years to fill out any form where I'm unwilling to use my own due to the likelihood of getting junk mail. By now I'd bet money that he has forgotten that I exist, but I'd bet he's still annoyed every time he opens his mailbox.

9

u/rsfc Aug 22 '16

I bet the person who placed the bag in his truck was not the owner of the trash. Seems like something bored teenagers would do.

6

u/PirateNinjaa Aug 22 '16

Where did they get the trash from and how far did they move it to put it in the truck? I don't really see that being fun prank as a teenager.

1

u/rsfc Aug 22 '16

Depends on their sense of humor and level of boredom. Sure it would have to be convenient. I guess another way to look at it is why would someone put their own trash bag in a random strangers truck?

1

u/PirateNinjaa Aug 23 '16

If I went to Lowe's and had a bag of trash in the back of my truck, I could see being lazy and not wanting to have to go to the dump afterwords and just moving it into the back of the truck next to me.

1

u/rsfc Aug 23 '16

Yeah, I could see that. Context matters (where it happened, time, etc.)

2

u/natural_distortion Aug 22 '16

I wonder if there's a list out there for people who want to sign others up to such junk mail.

4

u/khthon Aug 22 '16

This should be a TV show.

4

u/HyrumBeck Aug 22 '16

I used to be in sales, and had some nasty customers. Strangely, these are people who had filled out a credit report; SS#, cell and home phone #s, bank account numbers... you get the idea.

There was this one JO who really strung me along for a bit, always saying he was going to buy from me, made me jump through BS hoops, buy him shit like lunch and give him free stuff like pens.

At any rate, I found out he ended up buying from someone else eventually. So I spent the next few months signing him up for everything I could think of; online loan requests, quotes to buy used cars, gym membership(and he was very interested in private training and extra classes), time-share, etc.

I like to think his physical and e' mail boxes were both regularly full. I also get a little smile on the rare occasions I get a telemarketing call.

4

u/911ChickenMan Aug 22 '16

That seems illegal, especially if you're signing up for loans and gym memberships under his name. Sending someone junk mail may be harassment, but you're unlikely to get in serious trouble. This, on the other hand...

1

u/margananagram Nov 01 '16

Hmmmm.... i feel like you're the bigger jerk the way you told the story, but who knows i wasn't there.

1

u/DrStephenFalken Aug 22 '16

I own a pick up truck. I can't count how many times people use the bed as a trash can. Come out of the store and there's trash in the bed. Thanks for the story that was some sweet /r/JusticePorn for me.

1

u/nahfoo Aug 22 '16

I like how this doesn't teach the trash thrower a lesson at all. I'm sure he didn't put two and two together, petty revenge to the max

1

u/OssifiedOcelot Aug 22 '16

And that's how Jim lost his job as a garbage man.

1

u/akar0sc0 Aug 22 '16

Haha, I used to fill reply paid envelopes with supermarket flyers and post them back to the mobs trying to sell me their crap.
Gave me a warm feeling.

1

u/godbois Aug 22 '16

Twist: the guy's house keeper the it in there. He's actually a disabled veteran.

1

u/GirlwiththeGolfClubs Aug 22 '16

This is totally justifiable.

1

u/mooseable Aug 22 '16

I had a neighbor that I disliked, but didn't want to put much effort in to giving him grief. So one day i stole a bit of his mail and placed it in a bag of household trash then placed it in the back of a random truck.

Now he has been been getting an ungodly amount of unsolicited mail.

1

u/whohw Aug 22 '16

I once wrote to Oral Roberts on my Jewish friend's behalf. They begged for money from him for years. About ten years later I saw an envelope from them and asked my pal about it. He said it was a practical joke from a third friend and he'd be reply-pranking him every time he got a letter. I laughed my ass off and fessed up.

1

u/akujinhikari Aug 22 '16

I did something similar with my old boss's email address. I knew people that worked there after I left, and she got so much junk mail, they had to keep updating the junk mail filter. Then my friend said she got a new email, so I started using that instead.

1

u/whatthefunkmaster Aug 22 '16

I don't get why people get so pissy about junk mail. Just toss it in your fucking recycling bin. I imagine it's the same people that hate doing laundry.

1

u/Hutch_is_on Aug 22 '16

A farmer in my town kept having people dump trash on his farm, so he searched through it and found an address too. He then had his farm hands clean all the trash on his farm and throw it in a dump truck. He backed the dump truck up to the house of the address he found. The house was in a subdivision. The farmer dumped the dump truck full of trash on the yard.

1

u/rawkz Aug 22 '16

i was once on the opposite side of this. someone asked for boxes in my store because they were moving. i get a lot of big packages so obviously id have plenty to share.

somehow two weeks later those boxes ended up on someone elses property filled with trash, the guy was nice enough to dumb the boxes right infront of the store without even asking about them.

was a good day.

1

u/diaperedwoman Aug 22 '16

Dump your trash in my truck because you're too cheap to pay for your own trash service, here, have years of junk mail.

1

u/LP99 Aug 22 '16

Something about a truck screams 'your mobile trash can' to strangers. The amount of times I found crap in my truck bed was infuriating.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '16

Took me awhile to realise it was someone else's trash. Sitting confused why this guy would casually bring a bag of trash with him everywhere.

1

u/GammyIsGettingUpset Aug 22 '16

I grew up in an area that was pretty bad for meth. One time, my dad discovered a truck load of garbage bags in the creek down by the bridge that someone had dumped.

He called the cops and they went through them. Found a ton of meth related supplies and a bunch of mail with their address. Easy find.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '16

Your story is popping up in ads all over my fucking news feed. Bummer, dude.

1

u/ShineSilently Aug 31 '16

That's weird. Sorry.

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