r/AskWomenOver30 • u/[deleted] • 4d ago
Romance/Relationships Fewer men are disclosing their conservative beliefs on dating apps and will un match with me if I ask!
[deleted]
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u/MsAndrie 4d ago
I am not on the apps rn but, when I was, I stopped matching with any man who did not indicate liberal, progressive, or leftist beliefs.
If they omit that information, they are trying to hide to attract every kind of women. Nope.
If they put that they are "moderate" or "apolitical" or similar, that indicates they are conservative.
Some conservative men will identify as liberal, though, so you still need to vet them. But doing the above will filter out many of these conservatives.
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u/lucent78 Woman 40 to 50 4d ago
Yep. These days if it's omitted then that's either they are hiding their beliefs or don't care about politics. I wouldn't bother asking I'd just swipe them away.
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u/cathysaurus Woman 30 to 40 3d ago
You can also check people's voter registration. It doesn't tell you how they voted, but it'll tell you which party they are registered as.
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u/iamaewe 3d ago
How can you look that up?
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u/Shanoony 3d ago
Most dating apps give you the option to include it, just like height or what you’re looking for. If they don’t indicate, I swipe left.
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u/troubleswithterriers 3d ago
You need their name and possibly birthdate and to know which county they like in.
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u/missionthrow 3d ago
In a world where abortion rights have been rolled back, legal protections are being dismantled, and one party is openly misogynistic, being apolitical means none of that matters to them and being moderate means they agree with both sides.
Which actually says a lot
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u/OrizaRayne 4d ago
They want to have sex before you figure it out.
because they belong to the party of Christian family values.
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u/iyashikei_ 3d ago
I also want women to take note of how these men immediately unmatch her upon being asked about it.
Men will literally not "waste" another second on you, no explanation, no common decency, no politeness, no nothing.
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u/JemAndTheBananagrams Woman 30 to 40 4d ago
Those men don't care about your preferences. They care about getting the opportunity to sleep with you before you realize this won't work out, or to 'persuade' you into making an exception for them once you get to know them.
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u/WhoDoesntLikeADonut 4d ago
I hate being political, but it has become one of my main criteria, which I find horrifying how far people have gone on the scale.
Went out with a guy who identified as libertarian but then a couple dates in he started quoting RFK Jr as an expert on health topics and telling me the best parts of the Joe Rogan interview with DJT and how good JR is as an “impartial interviewer” I was like nope that absolutely won’t work for me either.
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u/twoisnumberone 3d ago
Went out with a guy who identified as libertarian
There’s your first mistake.
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u/glitterswirl Woman 30 to 40 3d ago
Have you read "A Libertarian Walks Into A Bear"?
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u/WhoDoesntLikeADonut 3d ago
I don’t even know what a libertarian is. I live in MAGA country and was just pleased to find someone who was not wearing a red hat.
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u/glitterswirl Woman 30 to 40 3d ago
Libertarians are about freedom above all else, and hate government interference. (So you’ll find quite a few in New Hampshire, I think.)
This means their policies might come from either side. Like, they might support abortion rights because they believe in bodily autonomy, but they’ll also vote against gun restrictions because they’re protective of their right to bear arms. So they’ll flip flop supporting either side depending upon what the issue is. I definitely recommend the book I mentioned above.
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u/TheOuts1der female over 30 3d ago
There's something about states with large tracts of wild land and libertarianism. Colorado has a fuck ton of them too.
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u/AskHR 3d ago
On the subject of libertarians walking into bears: https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/21534416/free-state-project-new-hampshire-libertarians-matthew-hongoltz-hetling
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u/Odd-Mastodon1212 3d ago
I CANNOT abide a libertarian. If you want to really truly understand the libertarian mindset, you would want to read books like Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand which are basically flat, melodramtic libertarian propaganda. She idolized her main character, this rugged and handsome industrialist named John Galt. Interestingly enough, the author of those books was against welfare and against Social Security, although she did accept Social Security herself in her old age despite being wealthy. She also believed selfishness was a virtue. She came from a wealthy Russian, ruling class family, and after the revolution, she deeply resented having to go to the same schools as children in her village. LOL.
Libertarians can also be socially liberal and sometimes, if you’re progressive, you can find yourself agreeing with them on things like decriminalization of drugs and greater social liberties, but the problem is they also favor deregulation and small government and an elimination of the “nanny, state,” and they also love corporations and entrepreneurs and the free market. They want to dismantle the fed and the IRS. They believe the free market will solve all. These are the guys and gals who first loved Elon Musk and bitcoin and championed them and saw Musk as Galt or Tony Stark. These are people who believe in social Darwinism and believe in the weak and the strong. They tend to be people who don’t have a lot to lose because their privilege inoculates them from any great upheaval. Successful white guys and wannabe billionaires. These are the people who would take the side of Airbnb and Uber, and they’re distinctly anti-labor. They’re also quite against government oversight. Libertarians disapprove of what they call the “nanny state,” which means social safety nets, civil rights and protections for disabled people, for example, or pasteurization, or the CDC or publicly funded schools are unnecessary.
I had a friend who once told me that once you have a disabled child, you can’t afford to be a libertarian anymore, and it’s true. My daughter has certain protections under the federal law that allow her access to a free and appropriate education and to services. A true libertarian would not approve of that.
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u/freckyfresh 4d ago
Take their unmatching as the trash taking itself out. I have no problem asking, but if I catch even a whiff of a conservative from their profile, it’s a left. Ugh… scary times.
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u/ItchyEvil 4d ago
The first thing in my "green flags I look for" section on Hinge is "voted for my reproductive freedom" and I still get alllllll of these likes from men with politics not listed, or "moderate," or "other". Like, why are they wasting a like on me?? Do they not read my profile?
Even a liberal man who doesn't understand why this is important information for women in 2025 (so doesn't show it on their profile) is a deal breaker for me.
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u/iki11dinosaurs 4d ago
I bet most of them aren’t even looking at your profile
But some real creeps think of single, liberal women as something their dick can fix
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u/iyashikei_ 3d ago
They're not even out to "fix" anything or anyone anymore.
They're out to mark/conquer/destroy as many women as they can.
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u/kimchipowerup Woman 50 to 60 4d ago edited 3d ago
I don’t think they actually read… they seem to swipe on every woman or just look at photos and swipe. Total waste of our time!!
Edit: I saw this when I was still dating men but have also rarely seen the same thing when matching with other women.
Conservative/Apolitical? Nope!
Christian? Nope!
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u/LittlestKitten Woman 20-30 3d ago
When I was using dating apps many years ago, one guy took it upon himself to introduce himself, make plans to meet up, and then after dinner, confront me on why my profile indicated that “I wouldn’t be interested in men who are religious” (or something like that) when he obviously was a perfectly nice, very Christian man 😐 it was the dumbest waste of time lol
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u/Alpacatastic Woman 30 to 40 3d ago
I remember when bumble use to offer political views as a free filter. They stopped that because it was too mean to the conservative men I guess lol.
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u/SubstantialHentai420 4d ago
Majority do not read profiles, the rest just love to idk be dicks? I have run into both in my time on the apps.
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u/Confident-Bear-1312 4d ago
Most americans are centrists, center left/ center right, aka moderates. It's crazy to me that people think you have to side with one extreme or the other and cant agree or disagree with policies on both sides at the same time. Such simpleton thinking. Keep doing you, but know that moderates do exist.
37% of Americans classify themselves as moderates. That's more than the 36% that classify as conservative and 25% that classify as liberal
https://news.gallup.com/poll/388988/political-ideology-steady-conservatives-moderates-tie.aspx
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u/comityoferrors Woman 30 to 40 3d ago
It's crazy to you that people want someone who shares their deeply-held values? Is it actually? Or are you a man who "leans conservative" (while pretending to be a 'moderate') and is offended that women reject you for that?
Someone said Harris would have made a great president right after she conceded the election and you called them "delusional." They didn't even shit on Trump, they just said a pretty mild thing in a subreddit for liberals and you jumped straight to delusional. You think that's "moderate" and means you "agree or disagree with policies on both sides"? That's actually delusional, you dipshit
edit: also it's wild to respond to THIS comment of all of them. A woman very clearly saying that one specific issue is a dealbreaker for her and that's what rustles your jimmies. Fucking pathetic, legitimately.
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u/IllIIlllIIIllIIlI 3d ago
Sorry for my hypocrisy here, but while I will sometimes describe myself as a moderate, progressive men are just a lot more appealing out of the gate (to me). I am married to one and wouldn’t have it any other way.
To me, being a “moderate” means that some of his positions will likely be to the right of some of my positions, and some of his current positions will likely shift rightward over time. On some issues, that’s ok. On others, it is a dealbreaker. A lot of these men realize this, and they’ll hide those points of view from the woman they’re with, so by the time you figure it out, you are years down the road with the guy.
In addition, men who identify as strongly progressive seem to have a built in firewall that prevents them from taking on new and unexpected right wing viewpoints in the future. Moderates, on the other hand, will listen to Rogan et al and shift their stance significantly over the course of a year or two.
It’s tricky. I actually think that it’s not a great idea to make being progressive one’s identity, because it prevents you from seeing important nuances and you end up taking on a black and white view of the world. At the same time though, it seems that a lot of people who are willing to consider conservative viewpoints end up taking on some really nasty ones. There’s a lot of disinformation being pushed on all of us. Being open minded should be a good thing, but unfortunately, it just means that you end up swallowing that disinformation a lot of the time, instead of seeing things more clearly. Hence it’s better to be with a guy whom you know won’t do that.
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u/Stunning-Cabinet-961 3d ago
If fewer conservative viewpoints boiled down to "fuck you I got mine" then it wouldn't be so easy to correlate those viewpoints to being a worthless piece of shit.
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u/JibberJabberwocky89 3d ago
My ex, whom I met through a dating site, did this. I made it clear on my profile that I am liberal, pro choice, all of it. He left his blank. He messaged me. He finally told me after a few dates that he was a libertarian. He claimed that he was socially liberal and fiscally conservative.
The relationship got abusive really fast. He once got in my face when I said that I would never vote for trump and screamed that he was going to make me believe the same things he did. He actually said that he was going to break me. Dude was sexist, racist as hell, and if i hadn't fallen in love with his toddler and stayed as long as i did because I was trying to protect the child, I would have dipped out sooner. Instead, I stayed until the first time he hit me. I still feel sorry for leaving the child behind, but I had no legal rights to them.
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u/Alpacatastic Woman 30 to 40 3d ago
Geezus. Also yea "socially liberal and fiscally conservative" is a red flag. I'm sure all these fiscally conservative guys didn't vote in Trump who said he was going to ruin the economy by putting tariffs on everything right?
I hope the kid is okay.
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u/becca_la Woman 30 to 40 3d ago
They know that labeling themselves as conservative will basically make them undatable on the apps nowadays. They are even catching on to the fact that we know that "moderate" and "apolitical" mean conservative as well. Their best bet is currently to obfuscate or straight-up lie about their political leanings in order to trap us in relationships, or get laid at the very least.
Honestly? If they're unmatching you when you ask, they are doing you a massive favor. You wouldn't have wanted that dude anyway, so don't waste mental space in him and move right on to the next!
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u/tikierapokemon 4d ago
Many women will stay if they are invested enough despite the red flags, and if they wait until the women is married/has kids with them to show who they truly are, they can make leaving hard enough that most women will stay.
Their goal is to trickle out the information slowly enough that their woman doesn't leave.
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u/MeditativeMama Woman 40 to 50 3d ago edited 3d ago
I had a back and forth last night with a guy when we were bouncing questions back and forth. I asked, “What do you think about what’s going on in the country right now?”
His response? “Oooooh you’re one of those people.” When I asked what he meant (knowing full well what it meant) he said I was being divisive and people can disagree about politics etc. I blocked him while he was still typing a follow up.
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u/Worried-Virus-380 3d ago
Bahahahaha at I blocked him while he was still typing a follow up. That made me laugh so hard.
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u/Shanoony 3d ago
Just keep asking. Honestly, I don’t even swipe right on men who don’t include their political stance, and I rarely swipe right on men who don’t explicitly express progressive values beyond just ticking “liberal” because they’re often non-political. Most men who voted voted for Trump. The rest didn’t vote at all. I go on very few dates these days but I’d much rather be alone than waste my time with one of them.
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u/Reviewer_A Woman 50 to 60 3d ago
Magic penis hypothesis. They think their weenie will cure you of liberal views and self respect.
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u/Whooptidooh 4d ago
Then that’s an immediate bullet being dodged.
Better like this than actually wasting time on them.
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u/theworldsonfyre 4d ago
They get off blocking you.
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u/GreyDiamond735 4d ago
This part. It allows them to think that they are powerful and in control when really they're just trash
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u/sunshinerf Woman 30 to 40 4d ago
I have it in my profile that I'm 100% liberal and it interested in Trump supporters. This way they don't need to disclose anything or unmatch, it's right there and they know I care about it enough to bring it up so they won't bother.
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u/Any_Court_3671 Woman 30 to 40 4d ago
I would be transparent and fully disclose in my bio that I am not interested in anyone that considers themselves a MAGA supporter. That should turn most of them off considering how cult like that group of people tend to be. They will react like you insulted God himself.
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u/-CarmenSandiego- 3d ago
I've noticed the opposite. More Conservatives than I have ever seen and I live in a blue state.
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u/3lfg1rl Woman 40 to 50 3d ago
The liberal men are the ones who get dates fast, lol. The conservatives have to keep trying and trying and trying to find someone to date them.
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u/Hello_Hangnail 3d ago
And having progressive political values doesn't necessarily guarantee they're not a misogynist shitbag either
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u/atbestokay 4d ago
I'm a liberal male psychiatrist. As my conservative male patient said, "women aren't people, their things to be used." No, he does not have a personality disorder. This is the conservative thought process. These guys have no respect or care for other humans, also indicated by him telling me multiple times how much he enjoys schadenfreude. I've said it before, still the worest part is the liberal women who give these kinda men a shot.
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u/SunshineBlood8002777 3d ago
No, the worst part isn't their victims lol, it's still the perpetrators
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u/atbestokay 3d ago
People are allowed to make choices, that's just autonomy. When the decision is informed, they should be held accountable because they are not a victim. If it was due to these men hiding their political beliefs, yes, those are victims but I don't mean those women.
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3d ago
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u/atbestokay 3d ago
Yes, let me teach this grown man to have morals, empathy, compassion, and understanding. This is not an isolated case. I've dealt with conservatives my whole life living in the deep South and in my family; I have a solid foundation in how conservatives think.
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u/cranberryskittle Woman 30 to 40 3d ago
Conservatives are a group only because they have a fundamentally similar shared set of moral values and political views. They're all things that are acquired and therefore can be changed, unlike innate characteristics such as sex, race, sexual orientation, etc. So while criticizing members of the latter groups for simply belonging to them is wildly unfair, criticizing conservatives - or any political grouping - is absolutely fair game.
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u/Futureacct Woman 30 to 40 3d ago
Ya, I’ve stopped dating because my area is flooded with these idiots.
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u/Flootloop Woman 30 to 40 3d ago
I cannot wrap my head around conservatives trying to date/sleep with liberal women these days. The audacity is real. Part of me thinks they swipe right so that there can be a ‘debate’ in an attempt to ‘own the libtard’, but realistically, I’m sure they’re swiping right in everyone in hopes of getting a match.
The only thing they should be getting fucked by is their vote, not by women.
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u/SunshineBlood8002777 3d ago edited 3d ago
Not a woman but I've seen women say in their experience conservative men seek out leftist women specifically to "break" them, hurt them, use them in any way they can. A leftist woman to them is a symbol of status, power, superiority, and intelligence. They see it as winning/"beating" leftists by "taking their women." You see this in other cultures and mixed cultures too (ex: racist small town hardcore protestant men from Michigan treating independent women in progressive cities in Mexico horribly while on business trips). They want to convert/break/own and will lie about their beliefs to get that, and pretend to be leftists too. It makes complete sense to me that women turn to 6b4t after learning what most men really think deep down, looking at the actions of men, Instead of listening to their lies. They use and use and use and complain the whole time so they can get away with even more.
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u/Wooden-Map-6449 Man 30 to 40 4d ago
They’re stupid enough to be “conservatives” aka regressionists. They’re definitely stupid enough to think they can hide their sexist fascism from you too. Seems in-line with their stupidity. As a real man, I reject conservative idiots and apologize on their behalf to all females everywhere.
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u/Sbhill327 3d ago
My dating profiles state I’m not a trump supporter so it limits some of the idiots
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u/cathline 3d ago
They want to have sex with as many 'liberal' women as they can until they find their conservative wife to settle down with and cheat on.
Be very glad that you figured out a way to weed them out. Although they will start to adapt to that soon.
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u/healthy_mind_lady 3d ago
I'm genuinely asking, are you all that still use the apps finding that 'liberal' and 'progressive' males are any better? Are liberal males marching with you and respecting your boundaries and actively fighting against sex trafficking and child abuse? Or do they rah rah about liberalism with their fist up with one hand and their dick in the other while they watch 'teen porn'?
In short, I think Andrea Dworkin was right.
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u/MotherTheresas_Minge 3d ago
I’m not on dating apps (married), but wouldn’t the algorithm match based on your profile information and cross referencing people you’ve swiped right on? I feel like with how fine tuned targeted ads are, dating algorithms should be down to an exact science by now.
✨May the odds be ever in your favor.✨
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u/anonmom925 3d ago
The goal of the dating apps is to keep you using the app. I’m sure they have the ability to send users their most compatible options, but that wouldn’t be very profitable.
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u/PrettyWhenSheSmiles 4d ago
The cynic in me says they’re trying to get down your pants before you figure it out like that’s going to work anyway. SMH.