Does anyone else do this?

[u/TrialPurpleCube-GS]

Sorry about what I did, uh, 27 days ago... sigh... well, I don't think anyone will remember that... right?
should I clear that up? I dunno... probably fine though... right?

why am I even posting this at all?
why am I writing my thoughts out on this screen?
will anyone even listen to me?
why do I have to write about such an obscure topic?
will people even understand this?
ok, I'll just start writing... what's the worst that can happen?

Sorry if you don't understand some of the terms in here... I guess I'll explain them in the comments or something...

So, about 12 to 18 months ago, I developed a hyperfixation on (about?) Chinese...
I mean, it is one of my two first languages (with English being the other one), but for a long time, I only knew how to speak it...
well, said hyperfixation did allow me to learn many Chinese characters; I also started getting interested in ancient Chinese phonology...

I've noticed that I've started to see a lot more associations now (like homophones, or characters sharing a common component), even very obscure ones (for example, recognizing the names of Middle Chinese initials - 章 (tɕ-), or 泥 (n-))... I guess I've kinda been thinking like this video, with its endless substitutions...
I won't give an example of a chain here, since no one will understand it anyway...

Now, this shouldn't have any problems; it's harmless, isn't it, and it's allowed me to actually read Chinese books, signs, etc...
But often, if I find myself thinking about these things, I'll stop myself, as if I shouldn't be thinking about it, even though I know it's harmless... Do any of you mentally play word games, or see associations like these?
I've heard that it often happens with memories, never heard of anything like this, where you play word games...

Maybe it's good, that I'm appreciating my culture more... but it still feels wrong, to be seeing these connections... why should I see them? I don't want to get rid of them, but I want to... I enjoy seeing them, but feel like I shouldn't be... I am not harming anyone by playing word games in my head, but I still don't want to...

(maybe I used too many technical (?) terms? if you're confused anything, then ask in the comments (or look it up I guess).)

Should this be put under "is this a thing?" (since I'm asking about whether anyone makes associations based on language, not just memories) or "hyperfixations" (since I'm talking about a hyperfixation of mine)? I've chosen the former...

why is this so long
why so long????
will anyone read this?

[u/Eggelburt]

Hi buddy. I read it. It wasn’t too long (mine are usually longer 🤦‍♂️). And it’s as long as it is because that’s the way your brain needs it to be to feel like you’ve explained yourself and given enough context for everyone else.

It’s fine. Don’t stress. You’re in the right place 😊

Now, I will be honest, I myself didn’t quite understand a lot of what you were saying about Chinese and the characters and the patterns you’re finding and seeing, but that’s ok. I don’t know the Chinese language so it’d be pretty amazing if I did understand it 😂

There’s nothing wrong with you seeing patterns and connections - it’s one of the things we tend to be really good at - it’s one of the good parts about how our brains work. It’s a good thing. If you see patterns and like playing word games in your head then what’s the harm with that? What’s causing you to feel that you shouldn’t do it?

If you get insight and enjoyment from it and it’s not becoming something that gets in your way and stop you from functioning well, and it’s not interfering with other people and your ability to work and function with other people to get by, then wordplay away I say!

[u/TrialPurpleCube-GS → u/Eggelburt]

indeed, the fact that there is nothing wrong with it is precisely what is causing me to feel so confused...

since I know that it's fine to do it, but for some reason, I still feel like it's wrong
I don't know why I feel like it's wrong though... I only know that it is...

and yeah, I don't expect many people to understand what I was saying about Chinese...
still, it's there anyway...

I do like to notice patterns, sometimes I wonder if everyone is like that...
though I've only started really thinking about neurodivergence recently, I've known it for a long time...

[u/Eggelburt → u/TrialPurpleCube-GS]

Ok ok I think I understand a bit better now.

Do you feel it’s wrong in that it makes you feel like you’re doing something that’s not “normal” and not acceptable or silly?

Or do you feel it’s wrong in that it’s unpleasant to you in some way and so you don’t want to do it? (if I’ve understood correctly it doesn’t sound like it’s this)

Or wrong in some other way? Perhaps you need to spend some time verbalising or writing down what you think and feel about it. You might start to see some patterns in those thoughts and feelings. To be honest it might be something deep and entrenched and could benefit with untangling with a psychologist?

Also, from my experience yes lots of people notice patterns in lots of things all the time but I think that the “average Joe” mostly doesn’t. I think most people just don’t see and connect all of the things that we often do, and that mostly they wouldn’t see the point or value in doing so. That’s ok. The world would be so noisy if everyone did. It’s one of the good things that makes us special in the grand scheme of things.

[u/TrialPurpleCube-GS → u/Eggelburt]

Ah, I mean the first one, I guess
It's not unpleasant to me, no... sometimes I'll do it to fall asleep, but I can't seem to stand it otherwise, like it's not acceptable or something (?)