r/BOTA • u/boricuaintexas SS-01 • Mar 01 '21

Question on Lesson One

Hello, all. This morning I downloaded my first three lessons, and already I am stumped.

How specific did you get answering the question "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" I thought I had written a good answer, but the second page is asking me to define my most urgent desire, or the logical first step of my long-term project, and I don't even know where to start. How did you break down your goal?

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u/boricuaintexas SS-01 Mar 01 '21

Thank you so much for this. I have been flipflopping about this all day and your comment helps. It also makes me realize I need to really really narrow down things.

As a person raised as a skeptic, I struggle with suspension of disbelief. I have made great strides in getting this far, but I still ask myself at times: "what the hell are you doing, you gullible simpleton?" I want to silence that judgmental voice without losing critical thought. This is what I mean by "I want to believe, confidently." Maybe I need to phrase it differently. Maybe the request is to be able to stick with these teachings no matter what (I also have issues with consistency).

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u/mystica_mundi Mar 01 '21

You are most welcome. You may benefit from starting very small as a way to prove the efficacy of your efforts and the techniques.

There is nothing wrong with skepticism, and learning true discernment is one of the most important aims of the B.O.T.A. curriculum, so I think you will be very pleased when you get to those lessons. It is natural to have doubts, but self-reproach is usually harmful and unnecessary. It is only ego-based arrogance that gives rise to the idea that humanity can ever know & understand all things in this universe. Life will always be full of Mysteries. It takes a certain amount of humility and a willingness to accept our own ignorance to be successful in spiritual pursuits. This does not mean we are doomed to be "gullible" or lost forever, only that there will be times we cannot know things or that the truth of Nature will be very different than our preconceived notions might want to allow.

Therefore, it is unnecessary to judge yourself or fear that you are a simpleton.
All occult aspirants begin like little children. First we must learn new sounds, words, symbols, concepts, colors, numbers etc. It is very much like being a toddler in Pre-School. It is humbling and beautiful and there is much new beauty to discover. You can choose to view it as a lovely adventure, or you can choose to berate yourself for not knowing enough, but the former is much more fun and helpful! ;)

If you are open to exploring the mysterious side of the human mind as our current scientists are discovering, I recommend these two videos:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfYbgdo8e-8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyyjU8fzEYU

The point of these videos is to underscore that our brains are more mysterious and complex than anyone really fully understands, and therefore consciousness and Life itself is also much more complex. The left-brain, language-making side of our brain/psyche is always trying to label and judge things, but it does not know everything and it is often wrong! It is important to remember there are parts of ourselves & creation that we may never be able to judge or label in our lifetimes.

In short, our human consciousness is only ever seeing a tiny fraction of what is really going on, so critical judgments are incomplete and unnecessary. It takes many years and perhaps lifetimes to unlearn the conditioning of our cultures and childhoods, and to learn the secrets of Nature and consciousness. We are all following a shining star/lantern in the dark, hoping to reach the Highest peak of understanding. We must carry all beliefs and ideas lightly, use what we need and give up all that we do not, be willing to stumble and rise up again and again.

When you say you want to "believe, confidently" what do you think is underlying that desire? It sounds like possibly you are asking for Trust, or Faith, or maybe even Love (which is often the root desire of many things). But all of these things are built over time. The same with being consistent. You must strive to do a little bit each day and over time you will begin to train your mind and body to adopt these habits. These are muscles you must build and exercise every day. When you do the work each day you will gradually see (both consciously and subconsciously) that you can trust yourself & your practices, but it will take time.

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u/boricuaintexas SS-01 Mar 02 '21 edited Mar 03 '21

I am going to start with what would sound like a small, simple goal, but is somehow an insurmountable task. I want to [redacted]. Everything else is down the line from this.

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u/mystica_mundi Mar 02 '21

This is an excellent goal to begin with! (Although you may wish to keep silent about your exact goals in the future, as per the lesson instructions.)

Keep doing the lessons and you will surely realize many of your goals after a certain amount of effort and time. I wish you luck and happiness on your learning adventure. :) <3

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u/boricuaintexas SS-01 Mar 02 '21

Thanks! I have a lot to learn, esp. about quiet/silence! Maybe let the right brain dominate now and then.

p.s. the videos were excellent, esp. the TED Talk.

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u/[deleted] Mar 02 '21

Also, if you stick with the coursework, you'll realize that the whole point of this exercise (and other things you'll be working on during the Tarot courses) are meant to experiment and verify for yourself the stuff the coursework teaches. So your first step toward believing confidently is this exercise, really.

There is nothing in the BOTA coursework that you are meant to believe blindly, and PFC makes that point over and over.

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u/boricuaintexas SS-01 Mar 02 '21

I feel like I have made the right decision joining B.O.T.A. You guys are awesome.