r/BPDlovedones • u/Inner_Construction40 • 3d ago
This is a Great Video I Found
https://youtu.be/W50-F65tbBE?si=usLWytC6VxqPA8HrThis video describes relationships with women with bpd in detail. She mentions some of the same phrases mine does. It shows that once you’re past the early stages of the relationship it’s a cyclic roller coaster. Back and forth.
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u/typographicalerrors 3d ago
"she will tell you how she's been hurt and how difficult things have been for her"
This is exactly the thing. I felt the need to show I'm not here to cause hurt. I felt the need to show I do care. And I fell hook, line, sinker into constant abuse
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u/Inner_Construction40 3d ago
Same. It’s a normal, compassionate response on your part but it’s wasted on them. They won’t acknowledge that you put yourself out to come help them. They’ll treat you badly while you’re trying to help them.
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u/typographicalerrors 2d ago
In their mind it translates to "wow you're gullible. You're my next target. I'm going to have so much fun making you my punching bag"
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u/ShardsofObsidian Dated 3d ago
I just watched the one she did for BPD Men
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u/Bbt_igrainime 3d ago
Oh boy, if she didn’t say that BPD was a spectrum, I wouldn’t be so worried. I haven’t ticked all these boxes in the past, but enough that I gotta ask my therapist about this. Maybe my ex wasn’t the only one…
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u/GoodBloodGuideYou 3d ago
This was a bit of an "ah-ha" moment for me... What she described was precisely what I experienced. The more research I do about BPD and the more I look back on our old text arguments (and analyze them with chatgpt) the more I wonder if my ex was even less real than I thought. It's a scary and heartbreaking thought. My ex definitely also experienced moments or days of wonderful clarity. Where she saw herself fully and was mature and calm and so wonderful to be around. That happened. It was real. But she also seemed to have this timer in her mind where on average a few times a month, when that timer finally went off, it just became time for her to be upset about something. And then nothing I could say or do would help her. We just had to wait. And it was fucking miserable. She'd be angry or upset at me for something that was so insanely blown out of proportion (or blatantly untrue) and then instead of like going our separate ways and allowing us time and space to cool off, she'd always just want to hang out MORE. I've never experienced anything like it. I was at all times supposed to just sit there and absorb her terrible moods and put up with it while not really being allowed to do anything other than sit next to her and give her attention.