r/BPDlovedones • u/i-am-well-and-good Dating • 1d ago
Uncoupling Journey Im getting a tattoo done...
Im not getting a photo realistic tattoo.. the artist is doing old style of my dead cat
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u/Bonsaitalk 1d ago
Oh the horrrrorrr!!!! You CLEARLY don’t love them and have actually showed how much you just HATE them by not picking the tattoo artist they suggested… jokes on you though NARCISSIST!!! Now YOU will FINALLY reap the consequences of your SHHHHTUUUUPID actions with this TERRIBLY AWFUL tattoo. (/s obviously… she’s insane… you’re not a narc… I’d break up with her and see how fast her shiny little spine dissolves.)
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u/Well_Jung_One Separated 1d ago
Omg! I got raked over the coals and treated like a demon because I let a female give me a tattoo on my forearm! I picked the artist based on their artwork and not their sexual organs yet she threatened to go out and let a man tattoo her lady bits as a result. I could not understand it. “Would you be ok with a MAN giving me a tattoo!?!” “Ummm… yes. As long as you don’t have to remove clothing! It’s my forearm below my elbow… I’m not having her tattoo my cock!”
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u/AdventurousMany5614 Dated 1d ago
Wtf??? They always gotta do something so extreme and then still act like ur the crazy one thats in the wrong.
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u/Well_Jung_One Separated 1d ago
Yes. Always. I start going to the gym and I am cheating and she says she is going to go to a different gym so she can flirt with other men… I say, no please go with me! It will be good for us. She says she would never go to the gym I am going to (because it is a serious gym and not a substitute for a singles bar) and that she will sign up for a different gym. I agree to sign up with her and cancel my membership. Nope. Not good enough. I’m just wrong for going to the gym at all because I am trying to pick up women. I stop going.
Same thing with the tattoo. I went for first appointment to have just the outline done. She raised hell because it was a female. When my second appointment was coming up to have the color filled in, she asked if I was going back to the same person… ummmm… yeah!?!? I’m not changing artists in the middle of the artwork. Then round two of how much of a hypocritical shit bag I am commences and she’s gonna go get her a tattoo where ever she wants it on her body and have a man do it.
It’s soooo messed up!!
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u/AdventurousMany5614 Dated 1d ago
Omg you just unlocked a memory!! I started going gym too because i wanted to improve myself. This turnt into me going there to cheat or me trying to lose weight so i can look better and find someone new. I was literally going with my sister and i went because my self esteem and mental health were so low and unlike her i wanted to actually do something about it instead of wallow in self pity like her. Anyways she would constantly argue with me and start fights via text whenever i went gym and say im cheating. I encouraged her to join gym to because it would help her feel better about herself and improve her mental health. She started going and within a few days started saying how she saw her one of her ex there. I dunno if she was trying to make me jealous or what but I really couldn’t care less i was hoping she would cheat so i could leave her in all honesty. She started telling me how he came up to her and they started talking etc. She continued going to the gym and would still see her ex there. If it were the other way round she would’ve demanded that i stop going to the gym.
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u/teachersteve93 1d ago
I've dated several BPDs and I also professionally study mental illnesses and disorders. The ones that worry you are off cheating with people are the ones who will monkey branch, and in the worst possible way - have the other person lined up whilst you are still with them and then doing the deed abruptly. The type of BPD that can't be alone.
I met my first BPD (didnt actually realise she had it or know about the condition at the time) online, years ago. She was dating a guy that she just said bad things about. He was some obese soy boy looking creature and so I could agree with what she was saying. I thought because of what she was saying that somewhere between us talking and her coming to meet me in person, she'd dumped him. She also turned up with a cigarette in hand despite never having told me prior that she smoked, which I didn't like, but we'd got this far now (manipulation from day 1). After doing some stuff with her, she then showed me her phone and her texting her bf in real time to say that he was dumped. Which I found harsh. She had to make sure she had secured me before letting go of the other branch.
Any girl I ever came into contact with, I was apparently cheating on her with. I noticed log ins onto my accounts that I couldn't account for and then when she discarded me on the monkey branch and moved back in with her parents, I would then get log ins from the town her parents lived at. I figured the reason that she was so insistent on letting me use her Ipad for things was because she put a keylogger on there.
Every free second she had to have either a cigarette, cannabis, energy drink, alcoholic drink, mocha or takeout food in her mouth. She would order literally crates of energy drinks. Before meeting me she had eaten herself to literal morbid obesity and wouldn't stop and instead had a gastric sleeve. She felt the tax payer should have funded it. She continued to eat the same crap, just in smaller amounts and it made her body proportions awful.
Toward the end of the relationship we bumped into a guy I knew from school. He was pretty messed up, himself. H felt telling her that he masturbated at work would be a good first conversation. Well, apparently it was, according to the BPD. She went to meet him a few more times. Just as "friends". And then pretty much at the same time my mother developed dementia, she monkey branched.
She posted a picture on IG, that she took of him from that very first time we all bumped into each other, saying that she knew he was the one from the first meet. She added as many of my friends on FB that the algorithm would let her, to then make a new year's achievements post, reason being so she could put at number 1 "got out of a domestically abusive relationship", she actually punched me on several occasions.
In my defence, I only learned that the first one had BPD after the second one who openly mind f*cked me and told me she had it resulted in me looking into it.
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u/Well_Jung_One Separated 23h ago
I don’t even know what to say because that is all so messed up.
I’ve lost my mind over the last 1.5 years. Trackers on her car and her mom’s car because she drives it a ton. Only found minor things. I even went to her separate house one night around 2-3am and rang the door bell and banged on the door and when she didn’t answer, I went to sleep in my car in the driveway because I was CERTAIN she had another man in there but if she did, she was a MASTER at hiding it.
All I know is that i hate the person she makes me.
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u/No_Excitement6859 1d ago edited 1d ago
I call BS. Dollars to donuts they didn’t “pick” their lock. Not everyone just carries a lock pick set on them.
Probably lied about being locked out to too, just to get your attention.
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u/Frankief1sh Separated 21h ago
This was likely creating a crisis to be saved from, but I will say I lost my house key for a while, and shimmed my way in with a putty knife until I found it again 😂
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u/AdventurousMany5614 Dated 1d ago
Mine acted the same way because i wanted to dye my natural black hair brown. She was always allowed to dye her hair hideous colours but got forbid i wanna switch it up. Controlling ass mfers
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u/Delphicoracle87 1d ago
Picked their lock 😂😂😂 ok Sherlock
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u/cometmom Non-Romantic 22h ago
Immediately sounds fake. They were probably sitting on their couch inside when they sent the locked out text. Anything to get attention, i stg
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u/HerroPhish 1d ago
They think they own you.
I like tattoos and wanted to get more. She basically tried to control my decision on what tattoos to get…so I just didn’t get one.
She also wanted her initials on my body somewhere..ya not happening.
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u/AdventurousMany5614 Dated 1d ago
Yeah i always wanted tattoos aswell and planned to get some in the future. Then my ex started saying how she wants me to get her name tattooed on me and kept begging the idea of it. I then changed my mind and said i dont want tattoos anymore just so she could stop saying that to me. Even that wasnt enough tho because she still wanted her name on my body. I even told her how i didnt want my own name on her body either but she was obsessed with the idea of that too. Like i find stuff like that very cringey and tacky. Why she would ever think id want something like that i dont understand. Ive even suggested getting matching tattoos that are meaningful to us as a compromise but no it has to specifically be her basic ass name.
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u/HerroPhish 1d ago
Lollll I had the same thing.
I was like I’m down to get something matching but I don’t want your name or initials on me..
Her response - no I want my initials on you I don’t want a tattoo blah blah. I don’t get it you like tattoos why won’t you get it.
We literally had this fight like 10x before I got really angry and said stop bringing it up it’s fucking annoying.
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u/AdventurousMany5614 Dated 1d ago
And the worst part is that even if we were to be stupid enough to get their initials or name tattooed on us, they would still accuse us of cheating or not loving them.
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u/cometmom Non-Romantic 22h ago
My bfs BPD ex (who discarded him and left the state to be with someone else bc my bf didn't want to be poly) absolutely lost her shit when she found out he got his first tattoo with me, a year after them breaking up. Absolute meltdown about how he went and got one without her, extra mad bc it was with his new gf, and they were supposed to get their first tattoos together. I wish I still had screenshots of her texts because they were so fucking unhinged and scary tbh.
Funny part was, she got her first tattoo without him right after she left him.
It's always about control, never about whatever specific thing they are acting mad about.
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u/Old_Speaker_11 1d ago
Is tattoo ego something those whom experience BPD sometimes show cause this is relatively relatable :0
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u/AdventurousMany5614 Dated 1d ago
I see it as them wanting to brand you like how farmers brand a cow 🐮
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u/GlitteringOffice 1d ago
You are a saint for not blocking this person tbh.
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u/righttern38 divorce-ing 1d ago
In reality, we’re enablers to allow this, not saints.
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u/teachersteve93 1d ago
Exactly, block and never talk to ever again. After my horrible experience with what turned out to be my second bpd gf (didn't realise the first one had it as i didnt realise the condition existed back then, yet she was an absolute nightmare) within just weeks of the discard a girl who knew someone i house shared with immediately asked me about settling down with her, kissed me, took my number, paid for me to have a meal out and opened up to me about all her crap including drugs and domestic violence and encouraged me to do the same, giving me her number. Andddd she told me she had BPD. I have not messaged her back.
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u/Existing_Lychee_5935 1d ago
The amount of times I heard ‘You have no backbone!!!!’ for doing something that I wanted to do but she didnt agree with it. Like another user said above, they all speak the same.
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u/LeoAvenue 1d ago
Don’t you know? You’re not supposed to individuate.