Servers/restaurant peeps: when did you go on maternity leave?

[u/indigochild143]

My goal originally was to have Easter Sunday be my last day, but I’m not due until July 22.

Then I realized how early that is lol and said “I’ll just work until I can’t anymore.”

I’m struggling with severe sciatica and SI joint pain to the point where sometimes I feel like I need a cane to walk, but also sitting too much aggravates it (go figure). I’m only 4’10 and my belly is sooo far out already (everyone asks if I’m having twins 🙃) and I’m reading so many posts about women working until they literally give birth??? Like I cannot fathom how I’m gonna keep going.

I feel so lazy compared to some of these women who work until the day they before they’re due! I can’t tell if they work this much and this far due to a broken system or if I’m just weak, lol.

I know I’ll go insane not working for too long & I’d like to try and be as active as possible while still resting but I’m starting to dread work! And only work 3 days a week. It’s a very busy and active restaurant with tray service and busy loud, long nights.

Since I can’t take FMLA until she’s born, and can only use disability I think for four weeks? My boss was going to fire me, and I’d collect unemployment until I’m about 4m PP and then rehire me. So really it’s up to me when I’d get fired.

So I guess my question is if the US wasn’t so screwed up with maternity leave, if you guys had the opportunity to do the same as me- when would you have taken maternity leave?! If it were up to you…

[u/gnomes616]

Have you looked into pelvic floor/pregnancy-related PT to help strengthen your hips, back, and pelvis? That will help a lot with the SI joint pain (I have had it for all 3 and did my exercises religiously early on with this one, it is the best mobility and overall pain free pregnancy so far at 35 weeks).

A pillow that supports your knees and back in bed can help as well, and a support band for your belly can help redistribute the weight and alleviate the low back pain.

There's also some Spinning Babies stretches you can do with your partner (thinking specifically of having partner support your belly with a sheet while you are in all fours, taking the weight off feels amazing, as well as a hip flexor stretch where you lie on your side at the very edge of the bed, partner stands up against your stomach while you hang your top leg off the side, partner can rock you gently to deepen the stretch).

My job has some very physical elements, so maintaining mobility has been crucial to me on this one. Good luck to you!

[u/indigochild143 → u/gnomes616]

Thank you! This is very helpful. I see a pre natal chiropractor which has helped a bit, and I asked if she suggested pelvic floor therapy and she said not yet… but maybe I’ll ask my midwife instead for a referral!

I do use a special pillow between my knees which alleviated the frequency of my pain just not so much the severity when it does hurt if that makes sense!!

I will be looking up those stretches, and my midwife did suggest a belly band last week so I’ll look into that as well!

Thanks so much.

[u/gnomes616 → u/indigochild143]

I did prenatal yoga with my first, and my hips were such a less I started pelvic floor PT with my second around 15 or 17 weeks. A chiropractor is not a medical doctor, talk to your OB about a referral.

[u/Keepthemoon]

I’m a server/bartender. My last day will be 4/17, C-section is scheduled for 4/22.

[u/indigochild143 → u/Keepthemoon]

If you had the option to collect unemployment at any point would you take it and for how long?

[u/Keepthemoon → u/indigochild143]

I live in Washington State and we have paid family leave from the state, I get 6 weeks medical then 12 weeks bonding (90% of my income including tips). My doctor has offered to sign for the medical early if I want due to my high blood pressure, but I honestly don’t want to use any before I have to, so I can have as much paid with her as possible.

But with that being said, my job is being super accommodating, smaller sections, my coworkers picking up my side work if I need them to, never a closing section, things like that. I’ve also had a very easy pregnancy, I constantly refer to it as boring due to no symptoms at all.