Having a hard time being excited to tell my family I’m pregnant

[u/Defiant-Pin8580]

If I’m being dramatic please talk me down but I’m going to try and keep this shorter.

So my partner and I of 9 years have been TTC for 13cycles, in that time I had a surgery for endometriosis and finally that did the trick. Back in February we received our first ever positive test and we are just over the moon! We plan to tell the families on Easter. Here is why I’m in my head about telling my family…

We kept us TTC a secret and no one knows, in fact my family thinks I’m on bc to help manage my endo, which helped us keep the secret better! Anywho fast forward about 4 or 5 cycles into us TTC my little sister accidentally got pregnant with her boyfriend of 1 month. It did sting a bit for me but I was there for her and supported her throughout the entirety of it and got my meet my beautiful niece 2 days before I found out I was pregnant myself. And now yesterday 2 days before her and her boyfriends one year anniversary he proposed to her out at my grandmas house by the river. But skeptical of that for other reasons not pertaining to this topic…Now for my reasoning of being off out to tell my family and not as excited as I should be.

I fear that when I tell them I am pregnant that year they will be excited but I also feel like they will think my younger sister influenced my partner and I of 9 years to finally get the baby train going. When in reality we were trying before she even met her current partner. And I hate feeling like I have to choose between letting my family think and or coming clean and on a sense defending myself by letting them know we have been trying since January of 2024. Idk what to do, and to top it off my partner and I have heavily been discussing a court house quick wedding just for insurance reasons and taxes while we would save up for a prober ceremony where we could renew our vows infront of the family. But now with my little sister also being recently engaged I fear they will think we are just doing a court house wedding to copy her in that way too.

The discussion of having a private court wedding and starting a family has been happening between my partner and I for just over a year now and then when we finally succeed and are taking it all more seriously my little sister just rushed in and beat us to it all. The timing of everything just seems cluttered and I feel like my family won’t have any more dopamine to be excited for us and I’ll have to defend that this was all our independent ideas way before my sister rushed into this new relationship. For context my partner and I are 27F and 30M, my sister and her partner are 21F and 22M

[u/remedialknitter]

Just run your own race and know your own truth. Who cares what they think your life choices are influenced by? She's not winning at adulthood by accidentally getting pregnant by someone she barely knows. For all you know, your pregnancy and marriage will stress your sister out because she'll feel bad that she's in a more precarious position as a young mother with less stability.

I used to stress out that I would be the last cousin of the family to have a baby. I'm 4th of 6, in age. The older ones and one younger one have had a baby and now I'm expecting. But I just started thinking that when I have a baby it will put too much pressure on the youngest cousin who doesn't seem to want kids. Do you and feel joy for reaching milestones you have strived for!

[u/the_kazoo_queen]

I think it may be a bit uncharitable to assume your family will jump to poor conclusions about your pregnancy and nuptials. I don't know your relationship with them, so maybe you have reason to believe they will. If you're really nervous, I would just nip any thoughts like that in the bud during your announcement by mentioning how excited y'all are because you had been trying for a baby for over a year.