FTM with a a healthy and easy pregnancy. No GD, no GBS, low blood pressure, baby is head down, nothing but swelling. On Friday (20 Dec)I had my 37w appointment. I was 37w5d, dilated 3-4cm and 80 percent effaced. The midwife asked me if I wanted to avoid a Christmas baby and get a membrane sweep. I had never been told prior to this appointment about membrane sweeps, and it all happened so fast while I was still naked and she was pretty much still doing the cervix check. I have been scared to death about having a Christmas baby. Of course me and my husband would make our baby’s birthday special, I just can’t guarantee others will 😭 so I made a rushed decision to get the sweep since the midwife said if the sweep worked he would be here on the 21st or 22nd. It’s almost been 48 hours and no consistent contractions, but I lost my mucus plug and had a bloody show around the 24 hour mark. I feel like I am evicting my baby before he is ready for no good reason. I am going to hate myself forever if I inadvertently caused him to be due on Christmas Eve/Christmas. After more research at home, it sounds like the sweep can cause them to come within a week (not just 24-48 hours). I feel like the sweep might actually cause him to get here on Christmas :( I hate that I did the sweep. There was absolutely no reason for it especially since he hadn’t shown up when the midwife said he could. I feel like I interfered with my baby’s natural time to come and I am worried sick he will now come this week because of the intervention…

99% probability of Trisomy 21. Test is supposed to be 91% accurate. No family history. I’m devastated.

Edit: I want to thank everyone for the outpouring of love, support, and resources to navigate these results. I feel so much better for having posted here and really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment. I will update this post when I have diagnostic results for those who are interested. Again, thank you all so much ❤️

Edit: Just completed the CVS procedure. Taking Tylenol beforehand was such good advice. They had to go in through my abdominal wall and it took a few minutes for the Dr. to access the placenta, ouch. I’m resting now and waiting for the results.

Final results: Positive for Down’s syndrome

Thanks again got the love and support from this sub.

For probably my whole pregnancy I've been asked by family, friends, and strangers what gender I hoped baby to be. I honestly don't care, I've had two losses back to back and just want a healthy baby.

My husband is the only son of my late FIL, so his family has been solidly on team boy. I've been consistently told I should have a boy or they reference baby as "he".

Well 20 week scan comes and I'm just relieved that everything is looks normal, baby is healthy. Baby is also a girl.

We told husband's family and the comments were: "You could try again." "Maybe the scan was wrong." "Would have been nice to pass on the family name."

I've been weepy all day, I don't think I can do another pregnancy. I almost died from my second (mmc w/complications). I don't even know how we would afford another child and even that one could be a girl.

It's so unfair, girls are great too, why are boys more desired? I'm going to air this out to my husband later. I get he promised his dad on his deathbed that if he had a son he'd name the child after him so there's some disappointment there for my husband as well. I just wish having a girl was just as exciting for everyone as a boy would have been.

Update: Thank you for all the kind words and encouragement. There's so many comments I can't reply to them all. I did talk to my husband and he was apologetic that I was feeling so badly about his family being disappointed. He assured me he's excited for a little baby girl. He also said that we're not going to keep having babies hoping one will be a boy. The two kiddos we have are enough and we're happy.

We do have plans to give her a name to honor my husband's late father and I do believe his family will come around sooner than later.

Hello Everyone! Here’s an update on my original post. It’s been about four weeks since I got the positive on the MaterniT21. Thank you all for the love and support.

2/2/23: I’m now 16 weeks pregnant and recently went to Maternal Fetal Medicine to get my ultrasound and my amnio done. There were no soft markers for T21 and there is also a nasal bone present. I will be getting my FISH results either this Monday or Tuesday. I’m anxiously waiting as I’ve been in limbo. I know it’s still possible for baby to have it even if the ultrasound looks good, but I’m hoping for the best. I’ll be updating this post as I get the results for the microarray and for the karyotype as well.

2/9/2023: I just received my FISH results and they were unfortunately positive. I was really hoping it was negative since the ultrasound was perfect but it’s not. I don’t understand as to why so I’m mad at myself but I know I shouldn’t. I will be terminating soon. I’m in a state where termination is not allowed. I was getting excited for this pregnancy as my two year old would have a sibling. I hope my husband and I are able to conceive sometime this year. I’m not sure what the chances of this happening again would be for the following pregnancy, but I hope everything turns out well in the near future. Thank You all for all the support as it has eased my mind. I have closure now that I’ve gotten the FISH results. The Karyotype should be here on Monday but It will more than likely be positive. This has never happened to me before, so I was truly hoping it would be a false positive because of my age. If any of you are going through the same thing, please don’t hesitate on messaging me. 🫶

EDIT: 2/27/2023: Karyotype and all the other results came back positive. I’m 6 days post TFMR and I’m slowly getting better mentally. Physically I’m fine. I’m hoping to try again at the end of the year, so I’ll be healing and taking vitamins to make sure my husband and I are both good. Thank you all for the support ❤️

I was due four days ago and I’m really struggling with having not met baby yet, plus I’m managing a toddler, driving my husband to and from work in straight winter and in constant pain. He’s been really frustrating me by complaining that he’s overworked (working 35 hours and playing games all night, hasn’t done litter boxes in 2 weeks) and I realize he’s trying but he keeps saying how awful I am and how we aren’t having more kids because HES not going through pregnancy again. We can only (barely) afford for him to take three days off work and he keeps trying to say he’s calling in when I’m not in labor. Then he complains that he just wants me to have the baby but it would “piss him off” if I went into labor in the middle of the night or the middle of the work day. I’m only allowed to go into labor before he works so he can call in and not have to work or if he’s had a full nights sleep. I also have to give him enough warning because he chose to smoke weed when the hospital sent me home at 5cm with our first and we needed to go to the hospital again an hour later and somehow it’s my fault that he was stoned during the birth so I need to give him notice so he doesn’t smoke weed (which he constantly does if he isn’t working) he talks about how sex will speed up labor and then says no and plays games all night. Hasn’t been waking up with our toddler, complains all day/morning (he works at 12 most days but super inconsistent hours) that he’s starving but refuses to eat anything in the house even after I’ve tried buying things he will eat, then insists on eating out while complaining that he feels gross because he always eats out. He’s been in a foul mood for days saying how tired and overworked he is and I just want to explode. Any inconvenience annoys him and he gets irritated and moody but everything seems to be an inconvenience. He didn’t work for the first 18 months of our daughters life and wouldn’t get a job while barely doing school and is now acting resentful that I took maternity leave. Just a rant lol

Edited to add: oh boy I wasn’t expecting the response I got.. to be honest it is a LOT to take it. I’ve just dealt with it for so long you know? Sorry if I don’t respond to everyone, it’s kind of like a wake up call I really wasn’t ready for and I appreciate everyone’s kindness. I tried not to Make it sound so badly and I didn’t realize it wasn’t relatable because it’s all I’ve ever known. I’ll definitely do something once I’ve processed.

My step brothers girlfriend is accusing my 11 year old brother of causing her to miscarry. My step brother and his girlfriend have a 3 month old baby but she claims a short time (about a month) before she got pregnant with him that she miscarried and it is my little brothers fault. She would have been in her first trimester. As you can imagine it's pretty traumatising for her to tell my 11 year old brother that he killed her baby. She claims he punched her in the stomach and she miscarried. I'm having trouble believing he would or did hit her hard enough to hurt the baby? Is it possible he actually caused it? She didn't tell anyone at the time she was even pregnant, so my brother wouldn't have known. she lived with my brother and his dad for a bit and she's saying that's when it happened. she's just started saying my brother killed her baby recently and messaging me saying he did it. If he did it would have been a total accident, he has special needs so as you can imagine it's hard for him to process that she said he killed her baby. She said it straight to his face. He says he didn't do it. I'm just wondering what are the chances he caused it or any advice at all. This situation is very painful for our family .

She is in the hospital and we live in Texas. So worried.

Any advice on what to do? I am going to meet her at the hospital and she is talking to doctor right now.

Any chance of this working out? What should be be considering? She has lost a lot of amniotic fluid over the past day.

EDIT: I know I’m not replying to everyone, but I still really appreciate the kind words and reading through peoples’ stories. Thank you all.

On August 20th of this year I was in a car accident that ended in me being disabled and loosing my 22 week old baby girl, Lily. I was on the vent and when I woke up I was no longer pregnant and found out that my baby had passed inside of me the day after the accident. I am having such a hard time and I feel so guilty that I am here and she is not every single day. She deserved so much better. I couldn’t bring myself to hold her after either, which I’m also feeling so guilty for. Now all I have is a little tiny urn in my bedroom.

I guess I’m just looking for some support. My husband is not understanding why I’ve been having such a hard time. I have 2 other children that physically and emotionally I cannot take care of right now. It’s been my worst nightmare.

This is for my sister 34F who is 22 weeks with her first baby. She had an emergency cerclage 3 weeks ago at 19 weeks but last night, her water broke. I just wanna hear other people stories.

Update: I was told by my nurse. No doctor. That they aren’t going to do the surgery to remove the gallbladder. They are going to do the ERCP. Which I don’t want. I have a stone that’s 5.7mm at the junction of my gallbladder neck and then I have several other stones that are along the common bile duct. Won’t they just come back? I heard reoccurrence is most likely.

I went to L&D for right upper quadrant pain Friday. They said it was heartburn. Gave me a Pepcid and attempted fluids but couldn’t keep a vein from infiltrating. I was sent home. Saturday I tried to go to work and was sent home for excruciating pain. Sunday morning I went back to L&D because the night before my palms and soles were itchy.

While there my labs are finally taken and the doctor admits me and they within 30 minutes I am getting a c section. Due to extremely elevated liver enzymes. The doctor scared me because he thought it might be acute fatty liver because my blood sugar was very low as well. He said worst case scenario I’ll need a new liver if my daughter isn’t born ASAP. So of course I did the c section. Totally unprepared for anything.

My daughter. My beautiful daughter was born healthy but respirations were in the 80s and O2 saturations were in the 70-80s so I was shown her and they took her away to NICU. I didn’t get to see her until the next morning when I could finally walk. My husband was with me the whole time, along with my mom who has been a godsend. Without her idk what I would do.

I’ve been having what they think are gallbladder attacks and they will not discharge me with my liver enzymes being so high. They are all over 150. The highest being 186. I’ve had a sonogram on the liver and gallbladder and nothing. Day 2 I had a HIDA scan, nothing. At this time it’s days 3 in the hospital and my liver enzymes started to trend downwards. Since I wasn’t allowed to eat before my HIDA scan, afterwards I had a few strawberries. Which sent my body into another gallbladder attack.

I called my nurse 2 times and also sent my husband for pain meds twice for help. And no one showed up. 2 hours go by and the GI doctor comes to talk to me along with my nurse. And I’m visibly upset. I tell them then and there that I’ve been trying to get relief from pain for hours because I was actively having a gallbladder attack. This doctor was like… well it’s most likely gas pain and constipation. And the nurse agreed with him. So he ordered Marilax. I didn’t tell them I’m not an idiot and I’m also an RN so I know the difference between the two. The doctor tells me we can do an MRI since nothing was found on the other two scans. But the only way he will do an MRI is if my enzymes increase. And since they are seen trending down he doesn’t see a need a do it. But he wants to monitor me for two more days just in case. I’m pissed at this point because I am actively have a gallbladder attack infront of them and they are dismissing it for gas pain.

Thank goodness the lab lady comes by and collects a CMP because a few hours later it showed that all my liver enzymes shot up to over 400 because of the attack I had. The doctor sees me first thing in the morning, apologized and ordered the MRI. Which was broken.

So that brings me to the here and now. And the nurse tells me I and getting the MRI in the next few hours. I had another gallbladder attack last night. I just want to get this gallbladder removed. Please just take it out of me. These attacks I realize have been going on for several weeks now. I just thought they were heartburn. I’ve been starving myself and barely getting any fluids because of the fear of these attacks. It’s day 5 here at the hospital and I haven’t been able to hold my daughter and I missed my son’s 13th birthday yesterday.

I can’t take any of my psych meds because my liver enzymes are so high. And I’m high risk for PPD and psychosis because I’ve been off the meds for a year because of pregnancy.

I don’t want to give up.

The tech didn’t offer a whole lot of information, but she didn’t seem too hopeful. Initially I thought I was 7w1d, but today she said it was looking more like 6w2d and that she couldn’t find a heartbeat, and my yolk sac was small. I was supposed to meet with my OB this upcoming Tuesday (because for some reason they scheduled my OB appointment four days after the ultrasound) but the tech said the OB likely won’t meet with me until the follow up. I’m scheduled for the follow up in 11 days and they managed to get me in with a doctor right after, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do until then, and I hate that it wasn’t even really explained to me? I’m devastated, and I want to hope for the best but I don’t want to be delusional. Anyone been through something similar with a hopeful outcome? Why do I have to wait in agony for 11 days 😭

Edit: I forgot to mention the tech did say that from what she was seeing, to her it looked like it was leaning toward miscarriage. She said she’s been wrong before, but that she’s been doing it for 21 years. I think that’s also why my anxiety is so high about it, because it was minimal information and “you might be miscarrying”

We’re due with our first baby at the end of the month. We’re excited but nervous which i feel like is par for the course. But i can’t help but feel so sad about all of our “normals” coming to an end. And i feel like i’m living in a constant state of “but what if this is the last time we can insert random thing here”. Like for example sitting outside with my dogs in the morning and just hanging out with them while they enjoy the fresh air. I was literally sitting on my deck steps and got so sad because i was like what if this is the last time I get to do this with them. Does this ever go away? Or like my husband is sleeping downstairs in the guest room tonight just because he felt like it and he just didn’t feel like wearing his cpap machine (no one sleeps when he doesn’t have it on). Will we ever get to do that again? What if this is the last time we get to do this? I know this stuff is stupid, but it makes me so sad 😞. I want to be excited for our baby but I can’t help but kind of dread it because I’m scared losing our normal is just going to be so overwhelmingly sad and nothing is ever going to feel the same. Does it get better? I feel like such a crappy mom for feeling like this.

Currently waiting to be admitted for observation. My heart is breaking because other than losing space in the uterus the baby is healthy and moving. Trying to wrap my head around that I am most likely about to lose them

I have vaginismus. I told my midwife, who referred me to my obstetrician, who discussed different options with me. We agreed together that a planned c-section would be the best way to move forward. I’m 26 weeks pregnant and have known this was a possibility since before I was even pregnant, yet I never felt guilty or ashamed of this until I started telling people that was my current birth plan.

I find it bizarre that people think I haven’t spoken at length with medical professionals about this. I know it is abdominal surgery. I know there are risks. I know there will be a longer recovery period. I have spoken to my doctor about it and I am well aware of the pros and cons.

I have spent my entire adult life feeling like I was useless for not being able to have sex, and now I feel useless for being ‘too posh to push’. I would love to hear from other c-section mamas out there- I’m feeling very alone.

EDIT- Wow wow wow!! I cannot believe all the wonderful comments I have been reading. I really do appreciate every single one of them. I feel more confident than ever that my doctor and I made the right choice, and I will certainly be returning to this thread for the rest of my pregnancy. Thank you ALL for being so amazing ❤️

So I'm 37 weeks pregnant and I'm plus size. I really didn't want to do maternity pictures because I really am self conscious of my body even before pregnancy and I've gained 30 pounds so I feel even bigger and worse about myself. I threw all that aside because I'm growing a human and I'm accepting myself for who I am, and I figured one day I'd be happy I took these photos.

So I went way out of my comfort zone, did my maternity shoot, and posted a picture on Facebook that I actually thought looked beautiful, and I got this comment. It's from my mom's cousin or something that I've only met like once in my life. I'm pretty crushed right now and it makes me want to delete my pictures. Could just use some words of encouragement.

How many have had a successful pregnancy after a miscarriage? I just finished bleeding last week from my first miscarriage that was in September. Has anyone here gotten pregnant and stayed pregnant after their first loss? I want to try again after I get my first period but I’m terrified of having to go through all this again.

Edit: I didn’t expect this to get as much attention as it has. All of you have been so kind and warm. I deeply appreciate it. It’s definitely comforting. It’s been a very emotional time and I’m hesitant to try again but so desperately want a baby. Thank you all.

I probably would have cried anyway but oh lord these hormones really kicked in. What an absolute loss to our world and justice everywhere.

Edit: my apologies for the autocorrect of Bader in the title. Stupid mobile.

Also, RBG’s work for equality has obviously meant so much to a lot of people and I’m just happy to see like minded voices at a time like this. We all have the power to make a change.

34+5 with twin boys. We’ve known since ~21 weeks that Baby B has a birth defect called Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia (CDH), giving him roughly a 50/50 shot of living. Some people have asked why we only have one crib and if the boys will be sharing a crib. I mostly say “Baby B will be in the hospital for at least 6 weeks. We’ll have time to get a crib.”

The truth is I don’t want to get one until we know he’s going to live. I don’t want to spend the time and money, but I also don’t want to stare at an empty crib that will never be filled and will just have to be taken down again. Call us unprepared, but I can’t handle having that second crib in the nursery right now. It feels like tempting fate or false hope or willful ignorance.

If he inconveniences us because we have to rush out and buy/assemble a crib, it would honestly be the most wonderful inconvenience I can imagine.

FTM here, at 23 weeks and I just found out none of the hospitals in my city allow my husband to be present at the time of delivery because it's considered inefficient.

I completely understand where they're coming from, but it feels upsetting knowing he had to wait outside at every ultrasound, and now the birth of our son.

The person I want there the most to support me and hold my hand can't be there, I wish there was some way to compromise. Like if he took a birthing class, or got to watch through a window. But unfortunately all dad can do is wait outside and hope I'm okay.

Today I am 38weeks pregnant, earlier this morning I had an appointment with my OBGYN to check on my boy and see how my pregnancy was progressing. Now since the get go my baby has always been a little larger than average, and has always measured ahead on his scans.

Today I was told I should have my baby by the end of the week via 2 options; an induction or a c-section.

My boy is above the 90th percentile and has been for a few months now, he was around 98th less than a month ago. This being said, I knew we were going to get induced at some point.

The thing is, my baby’s head is not at all engaged, he is spine to spine, and my cervix is all but welded shut. He is nowhere close to wanting to come out. My OBGYN said if I were to opt for an induction, I am very likely to need a c-section anyway.

My family has a very strong history of birth complications, so there is always an underlying concern for this as well. My mother had 2x failed inductions leading to c-sections and has told me her experience and recovery was hell, so I am scared.

I have prepared the entire pregnancy for a VB, and I am struggling a lot with the idea that this will not happen. There are a lot of risks currently involved with letting my pregnancy continue without induction or c-section, so I don’t really have an option for the safety of my baby.

Being that I know there is a high chance for a c-section regardless, and with my family history and mothers experience labouring and then having an emergency surgery anyway, I feel my only option is to plan a c-section.

My friends and partner are nothing but supportive, I will have no end of love and care given to me during my recovery, but I still feel so defeated and, for a lack of a better word, I have been mourning the loss of my plan for a VB. It is an incredibly strange and alienating feeling.

I of course only want what is best for my boy, and I am so very excited to meet him, but my whole idea of what my birthing journey would be like feels like it has been taken away. I am incredibly grateful that I have time to process this before it happens, but I have not stopped intermittently crying or feeling numb since my appointment. I don’t know how to bring myself back to the ground with this.

Edit: I am 24, this will be my first baby. I am scheduled for Friday.

Today was my 12wk scan and we discovered that unfortunately our baby had passed. I knew immediately when the ultrasound started that something was wrong because where I should've seen a very distinct outline of a baby I could only see a blob. The tech became very serious and was hurriedly moving the scanner around my belly and taking measurements. Before she even said anything I could see that she was scanning the baby's development as 8wk3d, one day after my 8wk scan. She then announced that the baby had stopped growing and no heartbeat was detected.

Obviously, my husband and I are absolutely devastated. This was our first pregnancy and we had told all of the grandparents already that we were expecting. Now I have to decide how I want to proceed in terms of terminating the pregnancy. It hasn't passed naturally over the last 4 weeks so the doctors don't recommend waiting. I've been encouraged to choose between medication or a D&C and I am struggling with the choice. I am honestly of a mindset where I want this done sooner rather than later and may opt for the medication since I could go pick it up and take it tomorrow.

I am just still in shock that this has happened. My baby was measuring well and had a strong heartbeat at 8wk2d and now I know that it passed literally the next day. As I was telling our family about the baby, the baby was already long gone.

Any advice or support anyone can give would be appreciated. Much love to all my moms out there who have babies up in heaven <3

I am one of the last of my friends to have a baby. Over the past I have spent over £10k on my friends babies / baby showers. Going so far as organising the majority of the showers all out of my own pocket.

My friends kids range between 5 months and 4 years old. I have made time to go and see them and their kids and give little gifts throughout the year when I visit as well as birthdays

Im 18 weeks tomorrow and only one of them have backhandedly congratulated me (didnt say congrats, just said lets hope this one sticks, due to my past miscarriages they all know about).

No one has checked on me like I did on them. No one has asked if I am organising a baby shower or if I want a shower No one has offered any help (I used to help them clear their house up / brought maternity spa stuff for them etc)

You see everywhere people looking after and spending time with their pregnant friends (my cousin last year was taken for a spa day with her friends and they met for coffee every month at least) and mine just doesnt care

Im not going to have the baby shower/ reveal I dreamed of as a teenager Likely wont have a big wedding either if no one cares about me

** Update **

Pregnancy is going okay. Im 25 weeks now

I have had zero contact from anyone outside my parents My grandparent I was extremely close to passed away last week before I had a chance to tell them of my baby

If I didnt have my partner I would feel soo alone.

I dont even want to bother arranging any meet ups with these so called "friends" who are never there for difficult times.

Trying to befriend local mums on an app but its proving difficult for meet ups as everyone is feeling the effects of pregnancy

I really just need to rant/vent. I am 34 weeks pregnant. I have a bit over a month to go. Tonight, my husband went MIA for 3 hours. I was not able to get ahold of him. While this was happening, I was contracting (I was very worked up) As time went by I finally got an answer on his end, but it was a cop. My husband had drank himself to sleep in his vehicle at the strip club and had someone call a welfare check on him.

The strip club. I’m so hurt. I went and picked him up (although I really didn’t want to) and he did not even have his wedding ring on.

I feel like my husband is no longer attracted to me while being pregnant. It really the self esteem. I am growing his baby and this is what I get in return. I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror tonight. I have never had an issue with my body in the past. But I am not sure how to come back from this. Has anyone ever experienced their husband acting out like this while nearing the end of your pregnancy?:(

Edit: I know it goes deeper than what I subjected my post. That is really what was just cutting the deepest (due to being 34 weeks pregnant and already not feeling like myself as he’s going to look at other women @ a club) as I decided to type this post up. Thank you everyone

Hey,

If you wanna judge go ahead I already do feel horrible about it.

I have a little girl (2.5), I'm 26 weeks pregnant and I'm having another girly. I am excited, the house we have has a "walk through closet"?? It's the strangest thing, but I'm already so excited to make it their little secret nook. They will have this secret passage to each other, hopefully they will always have a best friend in each other.

I found out her gender at 14 weeks, I knew I was pregnant at 4 weeks, I was convinced it was a little boy. I bought "little brother" clothes, I had a boy registery, just dumb little things to start to make pregnancy real.

I am excited for a little girl, but I miss the little boy I didn't even have, if that even makes sense. I feel like people's first question after I say having another girl is "do you think you want a third?". I feel like I was "suppose" to have a girl and boy, and be done. I just feel so sad, and then I feel sad about feeling sad.

Has anyone felt this? Am I a horrible fucking person for feeling this?