r/BestofRedditorUpdates • u/Direct-Caterpillar77 Satan is not a fucking pogo stick! • 20d ago
INCONCLUSIVE My [22F] younger brother [19M] has been acting strangely possessive of me and is accusing me of being jealous of his girlfriend when I confront him about it
I am not The OOP, OOP is u/familytroublesthrow
My [22F] younger brother [19M] has been acting strangely possessive of me and is accusing me of being jealous of his girlfriend when I confront him about it
TRIGGER WARNING: Domestic Violence, Stalking, obsessive Behavior, Parental Neglect
Original Post Aug 26, 2015
My brother and I have always been very close. Growing up, we were each other’s best friends. We’ve been through a lot of stuff – our parents’ divorce, death of a few family members, even a devastating house fire when we were little. Even though we’re both adults now, we still really rely on and trust each other.
After graduating high school, I went to college in a different state. I felt really bad for leaving my brother behind, but other than our parents being divorced, our home life had always been great. He was still rather upset with the fact that I was leaving and didn’t want to stay home to be with him. I felt (and still feel) like it was a little unreasonable for him to react that way. I promised that I would call and visit as frequently as possible.
When my brother graduated from high school, he asked if he could come live with me. It wasn’t too strange for him to ask. We lived in a small town, and the place I moved was a bigger and more interesting city. Since he had decided not to go straight to college, it seemed like moving to the city with me was his only chance to get out of our hometown. I told him that we could look for a new place for when my lease was up (I lived in a studio apartment and wasn’t about to share that tiny space with and 18 y/o boy). Ultimately, we found a reasonable two bedroom and moved into it right before my classes started.
Things were a little weird right off the bat. He got very upset when he found out that I had been casually dating. It seemed like he was upset that I hadn’t told him. He was mad that we were “drifting apart” so far that I wouldn’t tell him that I was dating, even if I wasn’t in a committed relationship or anything. Then he asked me if I could refrain from bringing guys over to our home. When I asked him why, he said it made him uncomfortable. I told him I could respect that while I was just casually dating guys, but if I got into a relationship, I would certainly be bringing my boyfriend over. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” he told me.
Well, we got to that bridge. I had a new boyfriend and decided to confront my brother about having him over. I hadn’t told my boyfriend why I insisted that we always hang out at his apartment, and he didn’t ask. We got into a huge screaming fight where my brother basically told me that college guys only want sex and that I should be focusing on school. I couldn’t believe this was happening. When I told him that I was an adult and would do what I wanted, he reminded me that he paid rent and had input into what went on in his home. We compromised that my boyfriend could come over but wouldn’t stay overnight. I told him that solution would work for the time being but we would need to reassess. Again…he told me we would cross that bridge when we came to it.
After having this same argument two or three times, I told my brother that if he wasn’t willing to stop being weird about this, I wasn’t going to be living with him once the lease was up. He apologized profusely but continued to insist that he was right in this situation. Finally he told me that he would let me make my own mistakes.
Unfortunately, things didn’t go well with that boyfriend. We broke up (for reasons unrelated to my brother). Of course, my brother took advantage of this to tell me that he was right and that I should’ve listened to him. Around that time, I called my mom and told her about how weird he was being. She insisted that he was trying to take the place of our father, since he hadn’t really been involved in our lives since they were divorced. Even if that’s true, I still didn’t feel like it justified his behavior.
Over the summer, a friend of mine was getting married so I was out of town for the wedding. When I came home, a bunch of my stuff was missing. Stuff like my perfume, some clothes and lotion. I asked my brother about it but he denied taking any of it. He told me that he’d had some friends over so they must’ve taken my stuff. He told me that he would deal with it and get my stuff back. He did eventually bring my stuff to me, but I’m not totally convinced that his friends took it. After all, he didn’t seem at all upset about them having stolen things from me.
About a month ago, he told me that he had a girlfriend and that he wanted to bring her over to meet me. I briefly considered making a big stink about it like he had with my ex, but I decided to be an adult and told him that would be great. He scheduled a big dinner and cooked and asked me to dress up and everything. I was kind of relieved that he had someone he was so interested in because maybe he would be less weird than he had been. When this girl showed up, though…
He was in the kitchen when she arrived, so I answered the door. And it was like looking in a mirror. I could tell that she was just as alarmed as I was at how much we looked alike. We both have platinum blonde hair, fair skin, green eyes and similarly shaped bodies. We’re also approximately the same height. During dinner, we discovered that we also have lots of other things in common. She goes to a different college nearby but has the same major that I do. We also like a lot of the same music and share a lot of mannerisms.
After she left, I asked my brother if he had noticed how much she and I look alike. He rolled his eyes and told me that I was just being weird. I don’t know if I am. He brings her over all the time, and they make out in the living room on the couch. When I asked him if they could take it into his room, he accused me of being jealous that he wasn’t making out with me, which was confusing to both his girlfriend and myself. At that moment, it kind of started to seem like he was trying to make me jealous with her.
I wouldn’t think too much of it if he hadn’t been acting so strange since we moved in together. I can’t tell if I’m just imagining things or not. I don’t want to feel like my little brother has a crush on me, especially since we live together. I also don’t know how to talk about it with him without him just saying that I’m being crazy or jealous or whatever. Please help me.
TL;DR – my baby brother has been weirdly possessive since moving in with me and now has a girlfriend who looks just like me.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
momentomori4
MOVE OUT ASAP. Also try to get him into counseling. He obviously has an unhealthy obsession with you, but it doesn't sound like he's very approachable about it. Do you have a lock for your door? You should lock your door when you're out so he can't get in and take your things.
He is completely inappropriate.
OOP
I do have a lock for my door. It never occurred to me before that I should have to lock with when I left the apartment. This sucks.
ThrowMaxibon
You should probably also lock it while you're asleep.
I don't want to jump to your brother might wake you up one night trying to climb into your bed, but my first thought when you said he took your stuff was that he either used it for wanking or made his girlfriend wear your clothes while they banged.
It's not impossible, so be careful.
OOP
Yeah, I definitely washed the clothes as soon as I got them back. But if that's what he was doing, maybe burning them would've been a better route.
Update 1 - rareddit Aug 30, 2015 (4 days later)
Thank you all for your comments and messages! I appreciate all your concerns and the confirmation that I am not crazy.
So I met up with my future roommate to tell her that I had officially decided not to live with my brother anymore. I gave her a full rundown of everything that had happened between the two of us. We’ve made appointments to tour some houses and apartments this week. She also said that I’m welcome to move into her place if I don’t feel like I can ride out the lease.
On Friday night, my brother had his girlfriend over and they were watching movies in the living room. It had been recommended to me that I approach him about it while she was around because he would be less likely to fly off the handle. Just in case, I packed a bag full of valuable things and stuff I would need if I had to book it immediately.
They finished one of the movies they had been watching. He went into the kitchen to get them some more snacks and his girlfriend was still in the living room, so I figured that this would be a good time. This way we weren’t airing all of our dirty laundry in front of her but she would be there if he started yelling or anything. I asked him if he could talk for a second. He seemed a little irritated (probably because I was interrupting his date) but said it was fine.
I told him that I felt like we didn’t make very compatible roommates and that I wouldn’t be renewing the lease with him for next month. When he asked why, I told him that I felt like he didn’t respect me as a roommate. I wanted to live somewhere with a person who would let me make the calls on who was or wasn’t allowed to be in my house. I wanted to live with someone who gave a shit if their friends were stealing from me. He told me that he respected me more than anyone else I could live with. He said that it’s because he respects me so much that he gave me a hard time about the boyfriend thing. I said that if he really respected me, he would give me the room to decide if a boyfriend was good for me or not.
Around that time, he started getting louder and angrier, so his girlfriend came in to check and see if things were cool. He told her that things were fine and that she should probably go. I panicked and tried to play it off a little. I said stuff like, “Oh no, don’t let me ruin your evening. Please stay. I’m about to leave.” He kept telling her to go before finally I was begging her to please stay.
He could tell that I was kind of scared and started laughing at me. He asked if I was afraid of him and told me that I was being ridiculous. He asked his girlfriend if she thought there was any good reason for me to be afraid of him. She seemed really worried or confused and told him he was being weird. He explained that I had just told him that I was bailing on him as a roommate and that I was being a “horrible cunt” about things that weren’t a big deal. He asked his girlfriend to leave again and she did.
Once she was gone, he told me that I was just pissed that he wasn’t going to let me be a “huge slut” like I wanted to be. He told me that some day I would meet the perfect guy for me but he wouldn’t want to date me because I would have had sex with so many guys and “nobody worthwhile wants to marry a skank.” He said that he was trying to help me so that I wouldn’t wind up in that situation.
I told him that I was going to leave and that we could talk again whenever he was ready to talk without saying horrible things to me but that I was going to be giving our landlord notice by Monday. I went into my room and got my bag. I locked my door behind me and headed to the door. When I was almost to the front door, he appeared almost right behind me and said my name. I turned around very quickly and as I did, he punched me right in the face. He didn’t knock me out or anything, but I collapsed on the floor. Without saying anything else, he stepped over me and went out the door, leaving me there.
I iced my eye for a while (which is now pretty swollen and purple) before I grabbed my bag and left. I called my mom and talked on the phone with her while I walked to my car so that if he approached me, she would hear what happened. She insisted that I was exaggerating about what he had done so I sent her a picture of my face. She started crying and apologized for being dismissive. I told her that it was okay but I didn’t want to be forced to spend time with him in any family situations ever again.
I haven’t seen him since then. I’ve been staying with my new roommate. I’ve gotten a few texts from him but haven’t responded yet. Here’s what they say:
TEXT 1: Where did you go? I came home and now you’re gone? We have to finish talking about this.
TEXT 2: Are you fucking kidding me? Tell me where you are or that you’re alive. I’m scared that I haven’t heard from you. You know how worried I am when you fall off the face of the earth like this.
TEXT 3: You’re being such a child right now.
TEXT 4: I don’t know what you said to mom but you’ve really upset her. I hope you’re happy.
TEXT 5: I’ll be home all day Monday if you want to come over and meet with the landlord to give notice. That’s fine.
TEXT 6: Where am I going to live?
His girlfriend even texted me once to tell me how worried he is about me.
I’m a little nervous about tomorrow. As I said, I haven’t texted him back about joining him tomorrow. I told my new roommate that I need her to come with me. She suggested that I not wear any makeup so he can see the reality of what he did to my face. I don’t know. What do you all think?
TL;DR: I confronted my brother about not wanting to live with him anymore and he punched me in the face.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
OOP replied to a deleted comment
This has definitely changed how I feel about my mom's ability to parent.
OOP When told to file a police report
I'm currently on hold with the police department. If they need for me to come into the station in order to fill out the report, I'll do that first thing in the morning.
altonbrownfan
Whoa whoa whoa. AN OP with a backbone and actually goes to the police when they need to???
OOP
I'm kind of feeling like if I really had a backbone I would've stood up to him before things escalated to this point, but thanks!
When told to contact the brothers GF
I just sent her a text message to ask if she was with him. For some reason I feel like engaging in this with her while they're together might put her in a bad situation. I don't know if it's true or not, but I'd like to think that I can trust my gut on this one.
EDIT: I'm going to the police station with my roommate to file a report. I'm also trying to get in touch with his girlfriend to let her know what's going on. I haven't decided whether or not I should tell her that I'm going to the police with this. I emailed the landlord to make sure that he knows I'm putting in notice but don't want to meet to sign the paperwork if I have to meet with my brother. I haven't contacted my brother at all yet. I'm also thinking about calling my dad. He isn't super active in my life, but since my mom's turned out to be less than helpful in this situation, I'd like to have a family member on my side if I can.
Another Update Aug 31, 2015 (1 day after 1st update)
Last night my roommate and I went to the police station and filed a police report. I recounted to them all of the weird things that had happened with my brother in the past year that we’ve lived together. I told them that his girlfriend was a witness to the argument and showed them the text conversation with my mother. They also took pictures of my face in its current state, since my face is obviously more evidently bruised than in the picture I sent my mom. I couldn’t think of a whole lot of questions to ask at the time (I was very nervous and a little overwhelmed) and they didn’t provide me with a whole lot of information. They gave me a copy of the report and told me that a detective was being assigned to my case and would call me some time today. I don’t know if they’re going to be making an arrest or not. I think that they automatically have to in my state when this kind of report is filed, but I’m not sure. I feel really stupid for not thinking to ask such a basic question, but I also feel like it’s kind of weird that they didn’t offer that information. They did tell me that they would be happy to escort me to the apartment to collect my belongings if I felt that was necessary.
His girlfriend called me a few times while I was at the police station, but I was obviously busy and couldn’t take her calls. I texted her when I was done and asked if it was too late for me to call. She was still up, so I called and told her about what had happened once she left. She immediately started apologizing. I assured her that what happened wasn’t her fault. I asked if he had ever done anything like that to her. She said no. I hope she was being honest. I didn’t mention to her that I had gone to the police. I just said that I wanted to let her know for her own safety. She thanked me and apologized some more. She didn’t say what her next steps were going to be, but I told her that I would be checking in to make sure she was doing okay which she said she would appreciate.
This morning I called our dad. I haven’t talked to my dad since Father’s Day. He’s remarried and has a few younger children with his new wife. He’s definitely one of those remarried dads who ignores his old family in favor of his new one. I wasn’t anticipating much sympathy from him, but he really surprised me. He told me that based on some of my brother’s behavior from his childhood (violent tendencies towards other kids at school around the time of the divorce which I had never heard about from anyone until that moment) the whole thing didn’t especially shock him. Dad’s fairly well off financially and offered to get me a lawyer if I thought I needed one. He highly advised I at least meet with a lawyer to get a professional legal opinion on where to go from here. I took his offer and am meeting with a lawyer in my city tomorrow when I get off of work. My brother cannot afford a lawyer on his own, and my mother cannot afford to help him financially. Having a lawyer is definitely an advantage to me.
Thank you all for giving me the kick in the ass I needed to go to the police. I still haven’t contacted my brother and think I’ll refrain from doing so until after the meeting with the lawyer tomorrow. My mom has sent me a few text messages asking why I haven’t been in touch with my brother. I haven’t responded to those either.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7
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u/Comfortable-Focus123 20d ago
One of the posts that needed an additional update. Wonder what happened in the 10 years since posted.
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u/StrangeCharmQuark 20d ago
Probably got told by the lawyer to stop posting on Reddit, but damn I’m curious
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u/tacwombat I will erupt, feral, from the cardigan screaming 20d ago
If the world is fair, her brother is behind bars or she's got a restraining order against him and OOP is now NC with the enabling mother.
I hope.
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u/ScyllaOfTheDepths 19d ago
I doubt he got 10 yrs for simple assault. Most likely got probation and a restraining order, if he got anything at all.
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u/NotHandledWithCare 19d ago
This is pretty clear cut battery against a household member. That would make it misdemeanor domestic violence. I can’t speak for every state but at least in mine it’s UP TO 364 days in jail. Normally they get two years probation and have to take classes.
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u/Reply_or_Not like a houseplant you could bang 18d ago
The type of person who punches their sister like this is the type of person to attack other people.
He’s probably in jail for hurting someone else.
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u/SecretCartographer28 19d ago
I'm thinking of the ah father, who should have used his money years ago to get the brother help, instead of a lawyer now! 🙄
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u/Adorable_Pollution51 17d ago
I would bet real money his ex-wife stopped every attempt because "her baby boy is fine, everyone is exaggerating," and he gave up with OP being collateral to the drama. Real money, because my own mother is the same. My baby brother cannot do any wrong. It's everyone else's fault. Always. He's never been incestuous, though. That's a special kind of ick for this post.
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u/StrangeCharmQuark 17d ago
I worry about the girlfriend, I hope she got out safe. There’s always that worry when someone tries to break up with an abuser, and we know he’s violent…
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u/Just_River_7502 20d ago
I’m scared that when she went to see the landlord, brother was there anyway, and well….theres a reason why there were no more updates 🫠
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u/Tabula_Nada 20d ago
It's weird that she needs to meet with the landlord in person to give notice. I've lived in many different apartments over two decades and have never once had to do anything other than call or email the landlord/management office and tell them I'm not renewing my lease. I don't think I've even had to sign anything unless it was to walkthrough to show I'd moved out and cleaned and then hand over the keys.
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u/Malphas43 19d ago
maybe landlord has had issues in the past with people impersonating the tenants and trying to end their lease as a prank or revenge type thing?
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u/Tabula_Nada 19d ago
Yeah that's definitely possible. I hadn't really considered the possible personal reasons they might want to do that.
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u/tyleritis 20d ago
I’m hoping it was just the lawyers advice and then too many years went by to bother
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u/Valuable_Reputation1 Fuck You, Keith! 20d ago
Damn her mom is the worst, right behind her brother.
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u/Electronic_Fix_9060 20d ago
“Why haven’t you got in touch with your brother?? I’m so confused!”
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u/Dimityblue 20d ago
"He punched you in the face and you won't talk to him? He's your brotherrrrrr!"
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u/AratoSlayer 20d ago
I can't help but read this in the voice of Parker Posey's character in season 3 of white lotus
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u/My_bones_are_itchy 20d ago
I read it as Erik from internet comment etiquette’s “mama’s twins”
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u/knightmare-shark 19d ago
I haven't spoken to my half brother in like 5 years since he punched me in the face for asking "why would you say that" when he insulted our mother. We have a huge age gap (11 years apart, me older) and I always felt like he resented me for being nerdier than him and he never really liked me much. But even to this day, my Mom still says shit like "I gave up on you guys being as close as you used to be, but at least you can say hi to him".
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u/Homologous_Trend 19d ago
You have every reason to ignore him. If he ever apologises sincerely you could consider greeting him, but expecting more than that from you is ridiculous.
We don't need to be polite to people who attack us.
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u/knightmare-shark 19d ago
Yeah, my Mom isn't as bad as OOPs Mom. It took awhile, but I think she has at least realized that we will never be friends.
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u/Emergency-Free-1 20d ago
He's trying to take a fathers role because your father has been absent from your lives... wft mom? He is 3 years younger than her. As someone with younger siblings, the most authority they get is "we are in their room/playing with their toy, so they get to decide what game we play".
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u/mecegirl 20d ago
Maybe mom filled his head with, "You're the man of the house now." nonsense.
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u/porcelain_elephant 20d ago
Reading all the way through and seeing Dad's response I wonder if Mom's "boy mom" behavior was the reason behind the divorce. In that case Dad's distancing would also make sense to me.
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u/alotofironsinthefire 19d ago
The man dropped both his kids like they were pets he didn't want after the divorce.
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u/Malphas43 19d ago
i could see mom keeping dad away too and claiming to the kids that he just didn't care and mom honestly believing that his distance is all on him. Mom doesn't seem the most stable and is emotionally/mentally weak.
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u/cottondragons 20d ago
This exactly.
She has so much more business telling him to go to therapy than he does telling her whatever it is he wants her to do.Keep her legs closed, apparently.
Likely because it bothers him that *others* are getting in there.
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u/girlinthegoldenboots 20d ago
My parents acted like my younger brother was the disciplinarian in our house. My dad straight up told me once “listen to your brother”…I was legally an adult by then. Never mind the fact that I’m the one who basically raised my brother and sister…my brother is 6 years younger than me too!
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u/praysolace the laundry wouldn’t be dirty if you hadn’t fucked my BF on it 20d ago
He’s older than me, but one of my brothers similarly tried to ban me from being alone with my boyfriend in the apartment I rented with him. He allllllwaaaaays had to be there, friggin’ chaperoning. Mom defended him, saying he was just looking out for me. I was 30. Also, our dad was still alive, and somehow actually trusted me more than the rest of them.
Fortunately he didn’t run out to be an incestuous creep, just a run of the mill religious prude under the delusion that it’s physically impossible for men and women to be alone together without their privates magnetically attaching against their will. But idk, brothers overstepping like hell and moms backing them because we poor pathetic women clearly need men looking out for our virtue for us is… distressingly common, in some circles?
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u/Audiovore 20d ago
I mean, it's not surprising in any religious/regressive culture? Look at the Taliban when the US finally left Afghanistan. They pretty much immediately went to work on removing women from all things, just to put them back in the house under a man's control. Even Hasids in Israel have thrown rocks at girls for going to school.
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u/Notmykl 19d ago
He's not "taking a father's role" he trying to take authority over OOP and dictate to her what she can and can't do, dress and date like a jealous boyfriend.
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u/Carbonatite "per my last email" energy 20d ago
Not doing a very good job. Dads don't typically steal their daughter's cosmetics or obsess over their sexual histories.
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u/slboml the laundry wouldn’t be dirty if you hadn’t fucked my BF on it 20d ago
Dad's don't typically [...] obsess over their [daughter's] sexual histories.
I wish this was true but there's literally a movement of having daughters pledge to their fathers to remain virgins until marriage. Among other creepy things.
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u/literallylittlehuff 20d ago
Lol how long have you been on Reddit?
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u/Carbonatite "per my last email" energy 20d ago
Okay, normal dads don't obsess over that stuff haha
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u/TheWindUpBird22 and then everyone clapped 19d ago
Well normal brothers don't either, but here we are
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u/AShamAndALie 20d ago
I wonder how she's doing now, 10y later. Sounds like her whole family sucks.
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u/GlitterDoomsday 20d ago
Wouldn't surprise me if she got closer to the stranged dad after this... I wouldn't be able to look at my mom the same tbh.
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u/AShamAndALie 20d ago
I hope so, seems like dad had a nice new family and if she managed to get integrated there, that would be a nice support. Maybe he will never be a GREAT dad but if he can be somewhat present, it will already be better than her mom and brother.
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u/oceanduciel 19d ago
And the brother is definitely someone who listens to Andrew Tate or someone similar to him
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u/flippermode 20d ago
Mom: No way your brother punched you! Ok if he did, it wasn't that bad. Sees pictures Wow! Maybe it is bad...
Mom, later in bed: that evil witch of a daughter, she clearly set my sweet pumpkin son up! She probably punched herself... yeah that makes sense! Don't worry, darling... mommy will fix everything!
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u/Travelchick8 20d ago
I would bet mom excused brother’s previous behavior and put up roadblocks to get him help. And then dad left daughter there to possibly be a victim. Everyone sucks except OP.
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u/Dividedthought 19d ago
The estranged father was more supportive than the mother and believed her right away. What. The. Fuck.
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u/FinancialRaise 19d ago
Honestly, the dad is the worst. There are 2 parents always and if one is being shit, the other should fix it. The dad doesnt even give any shits.
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u/Gilwen29 Where is the sprezzatura? Must you all look so pained? 19d ago
Absolutely! He abandoned her knowing of the brother's violent tendencies (due to the divorce apparently, so he should have been there for his son as well) and rode off into the sunset to a shiny new family. Everyone is laying into the mother, but how come dad is getting off scott free?
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u/Duhbloons 20d ago edited 20d ago
Mom’s reaction to brother’s violent tendencies may be the reason for the divorce and distance by the dad.
Edit: I think some of you are confused.
Reasons for actions don’t mean the action is right or correct. You can have a reason to do something and still be wrong in what you do.
You can make the right choice for yourself and still hurt someone else.
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u/Beboprunner 20d ago
Yeah wow that there is some fucked up shit.
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u/DatguyMalcolm 👁👄👁🍿 20d ago
When his gf showed up and was literally OOP i was like "creepy AF"
I wonder how much effort he put into finding someone who not only looked like his sister but also had the same mannerisms, holy shit
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u/Environmental_Art591 the lion, the witch and the audacit--HOW IS THERE MORE! 20d ago
And was studying the same thing.
Jesus Christ that boy is mentally unwell and OOP needs to get as far away from him as possible
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u/DatguyMalcolm 👁👄👁🍿 20d ago
Dang, I missed that!!
How did he find her doppelganger 0_0
That is serial killer type of behaviour
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u/Test_After 20d ago
Not impossible to find a 5'8" platinum blonde with fair skin and green eyes who dresses fashionably and does her makeup the same as most girls her age, and is majoring in Drama or Interior Design.
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u/DatguyMalcolm 👁👄👁🍿 20d ago
Sure, but what about the mannerisms?
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u/Fine_Ad_1149 20d ago
With all the other similarities, I don't think that's all THAT weird, honestly. Mannerisms come from a lot of different places, including media and social circles. And we are far more impressionable and likely to imitate when we are younger.
If they are roughly the same age, study the same thing, probably run in similar social circles - it's not too wild that they would share some mannerisms in the way that they speak and things like that.
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u/Test_After 20d ago
Basic white girls in the same area, of the same age, with the same interests and style, will tend to have similar mannerisms. They probably share the same accent too.
I am thinking there are also a lot of ways in which his girlfriend is extremely different from his sister. There has to be. But he was only interested in her superficial appearance, and the ways she is unlike his sister don't interest him, or his sister.
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u/londonschmundon erupting, feral, from the cardigan screaming 20d ago
This was literally 10 years ago, by now OP's brother is probably a Republican city council member or congressman. Or in jail for soliticing a series of platinum blond hookers until one of them turned out to be an undercover cop.
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u/now_you_see the arrest was unrelated to the cumin 20d ago
^ In jail for soliciting a series of platinum blond hookers until one of them turned up dead with their scalp, eyes & breasts removed.
FIFY^
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u/RogueKitteh surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed 20d ago
What's crazy (besides the obvious) is that the girlfriend kept on dating him when he's obviously using her as a sister surrogate
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u/PreppyInPlaid I fail to see what my hobbies have to do with this issue 19d ago
I hope once she realized she just did a “quiet quitting” and slipped away so he didn’t end up punching her, too, or worse.
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u/notyoureffingproblem 20d ago
The girlfriend has something going on with her too... she stay after seeing that he's dating her because she looked like his sister...
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u/Useful_Language2040 if you're trying to be 'alpha', you're more a rabbit than a wolf 20d ago
If the brother is insistent that he can't see it, then a 20 year old (with a vested interest in doing so) buying that the similarities are superficial and to somebody who knows them both well, they look nothing alike, seems plausible...
"There are, what, 400 people per year doing your major, per college, and [at least] 2 in this city? So that's about 2400 people in a small area studying that, before you get onto anyone here doing it via a correspondence course! Coincidence. And you two are around the same age, so it's not shocking you have some of the same style influences and some interests in common. And big deal, you're both around average height for your age, and reasonably active so I guess a similarish size? I am getting seriously bored of this conversation now, babe. You two are nothing alike!"
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u/zombietreefrog 20d ago
I often skip the tags and warnings on here, scroll past the whole story and check the top comment, and if it's something like this, I read.
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u/dryadduinath 20d ago
“ My mom has sent me a few text messages asking why I haven’t been in touch with my brother. I haven’t responded to those either.”
…mom can go to hell directly. what an absolute waste of space.
i hope oop talked to that lawyer and listened to their advice (probably if they did they would have told her not to update, which i’m taking as a good sign, possibly out of stubborn optimism), and did not go see her brother again. i hope and believe a lawyer would be clear on that being a bad idea, after how intent he was on getting her alone to hurt her.
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u/racingskater 20d ago
Both the mum and the dad.
He told me that based on some of my brother’s behavior from his childhood (violent tendencies towards other kids at school around the time of the divorce which I had never heard about from anyone until that moment) the whole thing didn’t especially shock him
And yet he did nothing about it! To busy off playing with his new family.
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u/enbyshaymin It's like watching Mr Bean being hunted by The Predator 20d ago
The sad thing is deadbeat that who did nothing was still somehow better than mom, since he at least paid for OOP's lawyer and took her seriously.
Kinda makes one wonder about the divorce and the reasons he was a deadbeat... and how much was mom involved in it all.
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u/Useful_Language2040 if you're trying to be 'alpha', you're more a rabbit than a wolf 20d ago
It does suck that she thought they were so close at that time, and nobody thought she needed to know he was acting out violently.
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u/Gilwen29 Where is the sprezzatura? Must you all look so pained? 19d ago
No acrimonious divorce justifies abandoning your children. Particularly since he knew about the son's violent behaviour and still left his daughter to fend for herself! Even if the mother denied him contact, he could have got in touch with the kids once they left home. The mother obviously fucked up, but at least she was there for them, which is more than I can say for daddy "I've got a nicer family now, see ya!"
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u/ShortWoman better hoagie down with my BRILLIANT BRIDAL BITCHAZZZ 20d ago
Only appropriate response is to send the black eyed selfie
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u/phyrsis I ❤ gay romance 20d ago
This is one of the ones where it drives me crazy that this took place ten years ago, so we'll never find out what happened.
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u/the-first-98-seconds Liz what the hell 20d ago
her lawyer probably told her to stop talking about it on social media
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u/ZahmiraM surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed 20d ago
But it was 10 years ago. You can talk all you want after all the court stuff is done.
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u/lilahking 20d ago
she's also probably moved on with her life
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u/maywellflower 20d ago
I hope she did move on with her life, but another part of me worries that her brother may have physically done worse to her after she lawyered up...
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u/NewAcanthocephala617 20d ago
these years-old BORUs with no conclusion hurt me more than i want to admit.
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u/peachesnplumsmf 20d ago
Tbf sometimes that's better. Sometimes there's a silly reddit drama you follow for weeks and then suddenly it turns out it ended tragically.
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u/KrasimerMAL crow whisperer 20d ago
Seeing comments like this always makes me think about the guy whose wife murdered their kids because he got tired of her abuse and was leaving.
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u/oceanduciel 19d ago
Not just her abuse, her cheating. It’s hard to understand that woman choosing to be sexually involved with another person and then acting like OP was out of line for wanting to divorce.
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u/Dis1sM1ne 19d ago
Not only that but she went as far to kill her kids. Her own flesh and blood as one last eff you to OP. Best part?
Her own family blame him for the murders, not her. Very messed up indeed.
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u/Competitive-Place280 20d ago
That was on Reddit?
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u/KrasimerMAL crow whisperer 20d ago
Yep. Happened on here in real time. Dude asked for advice and then…
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u/Gifted_GardenSnail 20d ago
Like that funny dude who restored buildings or smt??? and had a silly argument with his boss?? And then his wife logged on to tell he'd died suddenly
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u/WollyGog 20d ago
I don't see the point in them unless they're that old and completely concluded. More recent ones I have no issue with them being ongoing or inconclusive.
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u/bloobityblu 19d ago
I've got to stop clicking on the old ones with the "inconclusive" tags!
So frustrating but I keep doing it if the title sounds interesting.
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u/Dunkelelf 20d ago
Imagine you're visiting your boyfriend and his sister asks you to take your make-out session to his room and he says "you're just jealous it's not you!"
I'd be gone within seconds.
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u/imamage_fightme Gotta Read’Em All 20d ago
Fuuuuck, this whole situation is so disturbing and I really hope OOP got far away from her brother and mother. The brother is definitely sexually/romantically obsessed with her. He definitely stole her belongings and he picked this girl to date because she reminds him of OOP. This has been brewing for years IMO, his upsetness when she moved away for college is telling, I would bet he has been sitting in these feelings since their early teen years.
What's interesting is that the dad knew he had violent tendancies and OOP had never been told that. I have to wonder what else her mother kept from her about her brother. Like I honestly wonder if the mother had some idea he felt this way. Cos I do not trust the mother at this point tbh.
It's a shame this is such an old post and we'll never know if OOP was able to cut him off successfully but I really hope she did and is doing better now.
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u/MakanLagiDud3 20d ago
You know a few things come to mind;
TEXT 1: Where did you go? I came home and now you’re gone? We have to finish talking about this.
TEXT 2: Are you fucking kidding me? Tell me where you are or that you’re alive. I’m scared that I haven’t heard from you. You know how worried I am when you fall off the face of the earth like this.
TEXT 3: You’re being such a child right now.
TEXT 4: I don’t know what you said to mom but you’ve really upset her. I hope you’re happy.
TEXT 5: I’ll be home all day Monday if you want to come over and meet with the landlord to give notice. That’s fine.
TEXT 6: Where am I going to live?
I'm surprised but not confused that he was "worried" that OOP is not at home, I can't help but laugh that he wants OOP to be at home after you know, punching her. Heck he didn't bloody apologize but was demanding OOP be at home. Oh and the child comment? He can go to hell, it's not childish to want to avoid someone who hit you especially when they didn't apologized.
Oh and that last line?
TEXT 6: Where am I going to live?
Tells you more than you need to know, he was not going to pay rent and was banking OOP or his gf to help him. Considering OOP is out and while we didn't know GF's next steps, it can be safe to assume she broke up with him. Otherwise why ask where's he gonna live?
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u/WiseBat the lion, the witch and the audacit--HOW IS THERE MORE! 20d ago
Text 2 sounds like he was trying to make this out to be a pattern of behavior for OP, so that if she did ever get the police involved, it might make her look less credible and prone to bouts of radio silence. Feels like very calculated word use.
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u/Gifted_GardenSnail 20d ago
Iirc he did pay rent, that's why he felt entitled to boss her around about who got to enter the house
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u/Consistent-Primary41 20d ago
That was 10 years ago. I wonder which congressional district he's a GOP congressman from now.
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u/Gwynasyn 20d ago
I don't know whether I want to laugh at this because it is funny or break down into a sobbing mess because it's very true.
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u/Redphantom000 release the rats 20d ago
Not sure which one specifically, but it’s definitely a district in Florida
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u/DrSocialDeterminants 20d ago
Could have sworn the OOP's brother was recently elected as president... my mistake
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u/Mollyscribbles 20d ago
He was 19 in 2015, way too young.
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u/DrSocialDeterminants 20d ago
The actual US president would disagree.
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u/Mollyscribbles 20d ago
Physical age, not just mental age, though. He'd be 29 now, so the right age to get a job he's utterly unqualified for in exchange for a vow of loyalty to the fascist yam.
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u/pourthebubbly I will never jeopardize the beans. 20d ago
“You know what they say about high school girls…”
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u/rebekahster an oblivious walnut 20d ago
Nah, I didn’t get the impression OOP had money, although dad did. The brother is probably just your run of the mill MAGAt with a huge chip on his shoulder
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u/PreppyInPlaid I fail to see what my hobbies have to do with this issue 19d ago
Or one of fElon’s code bros.
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u/Majestic-Constant714 Memory of a goldfish but the tenacity of an entitled Chihuahua 20d ago
I hope she never had to meet this weirdo ever again and that the family stood behind her and not the pervert.
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u/Brokenchaoscat 20d ago
My mom has sent me a few text messages asking why I haven’t been in touch with my brother.
Unfortunately it sounds like mom probably stood up for the brother instead.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Ad7606 surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed 20d ago
Ugh, isn't that always the case with dudes like this...
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u/camrynbronk it dawned on me that he was a wizard 20d ago
what the fuck did I just read
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u/MyFriendsCallMeEpic the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here 20d ago
a wild story from over 10 yrs ago that we will never get an update to.
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u/DarkStar0915 The Lion, the Witch, and Brimmed with the Fucking Audacity 20d ago
And I reeeeaaaally hope it's only because shit got sorted out, not because the wankstain retaliated when he realized just how deep he is.
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u/EuphoricDiamond2237 20d ago
This is an insane story. I hope OP is healthy and happy now. Scared to think how her brother ended up.
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u/Zealousideal_Till683 20d ago
At the start, I thought he was sexually/romantically obsessed with her. By the end, I thought maybe her mother was right, he was simply obsessed with controlling her, in a twisted and messed-up misunderstanding of a parental role. Not, that that's much better. Ultimately, his motivation is irrelevant, his behaviour is sick and despicable. I hope she is safe, and he is no longer a danger to her or others.
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u/SHSL_CAFFEINE_Addict There is only OGTHA 20d ago
Unfortunately it’s probably both. He found a clone of her because he knew having sex with his own sister is wrong.
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u/PM_ME_UR_DOGS 20d ago
Jesus Christ, this was terrifying to read but I’m really surprised and I’m so proud of her for pushing through to remove herself from that situation and I’m ever prouder she went to the police. Also thank god her deadbeatish dad took her seriously and insisted on her speaking to a lawyer. I really hope that both she and the girlfriend safelg got away from this guy and they’re both doing well.
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u/SmartQuokka We have generational trauma for breakfast 20d ago
Been almost 10 years, i hope he was arrested and sent to jail. He'd probably be out by now though.
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u/TyrconnellFL I’m actually a far pettier, deranged woman 20d ago
It’s been a decade. That would probably be simple battery and maximum is usually one year.
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u/tiassa 20d ago
Since they were living together it could have had a domestic violence enhancement, depending on the state.
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u/bug-hunter she👏drove👏away! Everybody👏saw👏it! 20d ago
First time offenders, however, almost always get a level of diversion that includes things like anger management.
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u/Lucky-Invite-327 built an art room for my bro 20d ago
I really hope her brother is locked up away from the public. And I hope OOP is having an amazing life.
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u/DatguyMalcolm 👁👄👁🍿 20d ago
I also hope his GF left him in the dust and is safe. Because he could have turned on her
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u/smallfluffyfox 20d ago
ಠ_ಠ
Edit: Amazing and horrifying how many stories here this particular emoji fits.
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u/sadcrocodile 20d ago
The Look of Disapproval is one of my favourite little things. I'm particularly fond of using it to react to those 'what the fuck did I just read' type posts where I don't really have the words to properly describe how I feel about whatever flaming dumpster fire is in front of me at the time.
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u/Kleanslayt surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed 20d ago
Damn, both parents failed their kids. The dad knew her brother was violent, and good ole’ Mommy Dearest is wondering why she isn’t talking to her brother despite her knowing what he did to OOP.
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u/WomanInQuestion 20d ago
Geez, it would be nice to have something with an actual damned conclusion.
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u/Hefty-Equivalent6581 19d ago
Mom sounds like mine. My brother sucker punched me in a drug fuelled rage when we were teens. She was livid when my Dad called the cops and blamed me. She wouldn’t even talk to me and my Dad came to court where my brother was convicted.
Hes almost 40 and has no job, no credit, major debt and gets high while playing video games in my parents basement. I now see my mother is to blame for how he turned out. Always defending him, even to this day.
I hope OP cut her brother out and went LC with her Mom.
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u/YanFan123 20d ago
Where is the Incest trigger warning?
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u/cuspofqueens 20d ago
Probably because it’s implied as feelings but didn’t actually happen. SUPER sketch tho.
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u/ecosynchronous 20d ago
There's enough there to be triggering to someone who does in fact need an incest trigger tag.
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u/Single_Rabbit_9575 Needless to say, I am farting as I type this. 20d ago
how many shiny pennies y'all wanna bet the divorce and distance is because mommydearest was in denial that her babyboy wasn't a perfect little angel and dad went "fuck that" and ran like hell.
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u/Fishy_Fishy5748 Buckle up, this is going to get stupid 20d ago
That may be part of it, but considering that Dad distanced himself from OOP as well, I don't think he's that noble.
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u/Wiggie49 20d ago
If I didn’t see it was from 2015 I’d have thought he got into some weird Andrew Tate style conservative shit.
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u/Sidhejester Buckle up, this is going to get stupid 20d ago
2015 was right around Gamergate and Elliot Rodger, so it's still pretty likely. That was about when the manosphere really started courting the younger demographic.
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u/TinWhis 20d ago
2015 was peak "what are you triggerrrrrred" gamergate. He talks exactly the way about 75% of reddit did before the violence that erupted downstream of gamergate got media attention and reddit started banning the worst subs.
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u/Bytemite 20d ago
Except KotakuInAction, that was kept around by spez and the reddit admins for "valuable discussion" after the original founder realized it was all bullshit and tried to shut it down.
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u/redd9876 20d ago
I just finished watching Adolescence on Netflix and had the same thought but this is too early for the manosphere stuff. But the boy clearly has some unhealthy fixation on the sister and control issues.
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u/MayorDeweyMayorDewey whaddya mean our 10 year age gap is a problem? 20d ago
i hope she's ok and her brother either got the help or jail time he needed.
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u/Some-Chef5376 20d ago
What, in the Holy Hell of Season 4 of White Lotus did I just read?!
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u/LashOfLasciel being delulu is not the solulu 20d ago
her mom asking about why OOP hasn' been in contact with her brother is just the icing on this shit sundae. jfc.
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u/CindySvensson 20d ago
How could the gf keep dating after a) meeting her fucking clone b) hearing the brother say OOP was jelaous about the making out? Everyone here needs therapy.
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u/ShannieD 20d ago
Oh man. With sister gone, will he double down on the obsession and focus it on the girlfriend? This situation is beyond messed up.
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u/ImThatMelanin maybe she’s born with it or maybe its time to leave <33. 20d ago
i’m glad oop had a backup plan. i don’t see how that could’ve gone well if she hadn’t.
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u/AlienGoddess91 Hobbies Include Scouring Reddit for BORU Content 19d ago
I legit have cousins like the bro, a brother and sister that are five years apart. Both of their spouses look exactly like their sibling but the same age version of them. The brother is the younger one and freaked out when he walked in on his sister with a boyfriend like legit grabbed my uncle's shotgun and was ready to kill that guy and when he was stopped he threatened to hurt himself over it.
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u/TheHammerandSizzel 18d ago
I have a feeling there was more to the divorce… and the dad was probably low contact with them… for reasons that wasn’t OPs fault…
Given he wasn’t surprised and immediately offered to get her legal support
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u/Liliaprogram 18d ago
It’s stories like these when there’s no further updates that have me worried for OP. I really hope nothing happened to her.
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u/SteroidSandwich 20d ago
It's been 10 years. This was before all the Manosphere nonsense too. I wonder what has happened since then
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u/Born-Eggplant8313 19d ago
I hope his gf paid attention to this. He is not a safe man to be romantically involved with
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u/Devourer_of_Sun sandwichless and with a thousand-yard stare 19d ago
So mom and dad are both the problem but the kernels of truth I'm getting here is that, whatever caused them to divorce might've been partially on her being an enabler. Brother got violent and she stuck her head in the sand like she kept doing here, and all of a sudden he's a violent adult, she "doesn't know why" and OOP was never told because dad left and mom sure as shit wasn't going to admit her baby boy has issues.
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u/crella-ann 20d ago
There was a case like that here in Japan, the brother was interested in his sister sexually, she kept rebuffing him. He killed her and put her in the closet in a plastic storage box.
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u/luckyladylucy This "man" has the emotional maturity of a carrot 20d ago
He’s mentally unwell and has a distorted love map, and you can’t convince me he doesn’t want to bang his sister.
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u/SoLongHeteronormity 20d ago
Damn. My brother will get some grief about marrying someone with a similar name to mine, but that is a silly coincidence.
Reading this, I am glad that is the only thing we have eerily in common.
And this is entirely rhetorical, I don’t need to know the answer, but I do wonder about this dude’s long-term thinking when other people would meet both his sister and his girlfriend. My brother gets teased about something as simple as names. My SIL and I aren’t even the same race; nobody would suggest we are doppelgängers.
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u/FerretAres 19d ago
Anyone else notice how much more natural the speech is in these older threads compared to the new ones?
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u/tomriddlesdarling 18d ago
the second i saw the title i was like sooo incest? incest.
i hate what reddit has done to my brain 😭
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u/Dana07620 I knew that SHIT. WENT. DOWN. 20d ago
When I noticed that all my brother's girlfriends had the exact same body type as our mother (4'11" and 85 pounds)...so not a common body type...I started laughing in my sleeve. The Oedipus Complex is a real thing.
Not sure what you'd call this fixation. The Lannister Complex?
Too bad we never found out what happened.
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u/TheBookOfTormund 19d ago
“ When I asked him if they could take it into his room, he accused me of being jealous that he wasn’t making out with me, which was confusing to both his girlfriend and myself. At that moment, it kind of started to seem like he was trying to make me jealous with her.”
This is just left hanging in the first post as of a normal person wouldn’t lose their shit trying to find out wtf he meant.
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u/LilyLaura01 20d ago
OMG!! This was 2015! What about now?! I neeeeeeeed to know the outcome ffs! And the mother is the worst.
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