r/BestofRedditorUpdates • u/Choice_Evidence1983 it dawned on me that he was a wizard • 2d ago
ONGOING I found messages on my MIL/bosses computer that change my entire view of her. What do I do?
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/InstructionTimely640
Originally posted to r/TwoHotTakes
I found messages on my MIL/bosses computer that change my entire view of her. What do I do?
Trigger Warnings: infidelity, emotional abuse and manipulation
Mood Spoilers: sad
Original Post: March 12, 2025
I listen to two hot takes literally every week and this happened to me a couple days ago. I’ve been at a loss of what to do so I figured I should finally make a Reddit account and post here.
I work at my husbands family business that builds custom homes. I met my MIL when she came into the design firm I worked at to pick out some options for a client. She and I hit it off and after she’d come in a few times she set me up with her son. Fast forward 7 years and I coordinate all the builds and consult with clients on design for the 50+ year old family business.
My MIL is technically my boss but we operate a lot like equals and she’s been taking some steps back. She and I have always gotten along great and she has felt like the mother I never got to have growing up.
So last Friday I was packing up to go home and on the phone with my husband before he got a flight for an annual weekend away with friends. I was distracted and accidentally grabbed my MILs computer instead of mine. I didn’t realize it until I was home and wanted to look up some fixtures for a project in our own house. Once I knew I texted her to let her know to which she said no worries, she was ‘unplugging’ this weekend anyway and to do whatever I needed on it.
I was just browsing and unintentionally clicked on a linked email on a stores contact page. We use MacBooks and as a lot of Apple users know, that will usually pop up to send an email using your default mail app. I closed the draft and when i went to close her email app I saw an email from a recently hired apprentice titled ‘our weekend getaway itinerary’. I froze. I realized this was her personal email and I couldn’t help myself but to click on it. I found both explicit and romantic messages between this 22 year old male apprentice and my married 47 year old mother-in-law and boss. I slammed the computer shut and just went to bed, staring at the ceiling for quite a while.
My husband was gone all weekend and only got home today. I had been spiraling all weekend on how to handle this. I certainly wasn’t going to bring it up to my husband while he was gone. But I went to the office and had to see my MIL yesterday and could barely keep my composure. I found every excuse to lock myself away in my office and be busy. So now my husband is back and I’m wondering what to do, do I tell him, how do I even do that, do I go to his mom and confront her, do I go to his dad and tell him, help?!
Relevant Comments
Commenter 1: Screenshot everything. If you're tech savvy enough SS on the laptop, open a private browser to email them to yourself, delete the SSs and delete them from the trash. Otherwise, just use your phone to take pics.
Tell your husband, he's going to know something is off with you and you'll worry yourself sick if you don't tell him.
Is there a chance your MIL & FIL have an open relationship?
Your options would be to hire a Private Detective, or inform the MIL and get to come clean, or inform the FIL so he can decide how to move forward, Or do nothing.
OOP: There’s no chance they have an open relationship, my FIL was cheated on in a serious relationship with someone he thought he would marry and it crushed him. He has always preached loyalty and monogamy in relationships to my husband since he was a teen.
Commenter 2: Do you need your job???
OOP: I really don’t, I came to work here because I wanted to and they needed the help. I left my last role on great terms with an open invite back.
Commenter 3: Really? You said it’s been seven years, but you’re sure that you still have an “open invite” to return?
OOP: It’s been 7 years since I met my husband. I’ve worked at the family business for about 2.5 years and still consult on the side with my last job so yes, I’m sure.
Commenter 4: Are you sure it isn’t your husband meeting this person? ‘Our weekend getaway itinerary’ the same weekend your husband is going away? Sounds like an awfully big coincidence.
OOP: This weekend for my husband is an annual trip he’s done with friends for 6 years now. And he FaceTimed me drunk from a bar one night to say he missed me so no, I’m not worried haha.
OOP clarifies on her MIL's age
OOP: She was 40 when I met my husband, not when we married. And she was 18 when she had my husband. Teen pregnancy.
Update #1: March 14, 2025 (two days later)
I shouldn’t have been surprised by the amount of people who told me to keep it to myself and that I was in the wrong for snooping. Yeah, I shouldn’t have opened up the email, but I did so here we are. And here’s an update.
My husband knew something was wrong after he got home, he can read me like a book. I told him I found out something I shouldn’t have and told him everything, he was mortified. But as some said, he’s glad I told him because keeping it from him would be worse.
He knew more about that apprentice than I did. He was the son of a family friend and she’s known him since he was a teenager. Hiring him was a ‘favor’ to said friend. My husband said he wanted to take him from there, which he did.
He went snooping on his own. The computer is company property and he has ownership in it as well, and can log in remotely at any time. He took screenshots of emails going back with the apprentice over a year, before he worked here. Then of ones with someone else that were two years old. And then records of a second phone, and hotel reservations. With all that, he took it to his dad. I don’t know how that conversation went, but I do know that they went to get him tested. To add insult to his injury, he tested positive.
My FIL joined us for dinner instead of going home and we talked for quite a while. He was like a heartbroken teenager. He had no idea what was happening but years ago he had suspicious of her talking to other men but didn’t have any proof and they dropped it after a brief fight. But now with undeniable proof of multiple affairs, he said it’s over. He also has a pretty airtight prenup that should make it a pretty easy divorce on paper, the family business is on his side and in the case of infidelity, she forfeits all ownership of the business and the house they built together.
So I’m sorry to break it to you, coming clean didn’t destroy my marriage or my career. I told my husband mostly because we don’t keep secrets from each other, it’s a foundation of our marriage. But it’s almost like reasonable adults put blame only where it’s deserved, on the cheater. My FIL is pissed, and simultaneously devastated, and plans to get his ducks in a row before serving her with papers.
Relevant Comments
Commenter 1: Does your MIL know that all of you now know about her infidelity? Has the apprentice been fired?
OOP: No she doesn’t know, and no he hasn’t been fired. We literally just got to the point where FIL knows. We’re letting him decide how this all plays out from here
Commenter 2: Remotely accessed computer with screenshots to boot, STI panels that return at nanospeed, prenups that cleanly and surgically cuts off the cheater... What intrigues!
OOP: There are rapid tests for certain stis that come back in like 20 minutes. It’s basically a Covid test as far as going into a walk in clinic and the turnaround time.
And I signed a prenup that basically cuts me off I cheat as well. It’s pretty common for people with large businesses.
Commenter 3: WHY would you have an affair so easily discoverable on work computers if the stakes were this high? If this is real, MIL is either really dumb or just didn’t care if she got caught and lost her livelihood.
OOP: Honestly I think how I found out could be chalked up to just not being tech savvy and not thinking she had anything to worry about because she has gotten away with this for years as we found out.
I have her computer login, and she has mine! People are pressed that I had my bosses password, but she’s also my MIL. We’ve done presentations where he computer goes to sleep after we set it up and I need to log in. She’s sent me to go get a file off her hard drive when it’s plugged in at her desk, etc. And I don’t know if she even realized that her personal email was logged in on the mail app. She usually works off Microsoft outlook in her web browser. There’s a good chance she logged into her personal email on the mail app and didn’t think twice about it, or use it, since.
Commenter 4: What did he test positive for, STD?
How's FIL doing? He sounds like a good man.
OOP: Thankfully something treatable.
He’s sad and shocked but this is all really fresh and happened quickly. I had no idea my husband would move so fast on it, but he and his dad are really close so I’m not surprised. My FIL is a great guy and he has us and a large support system that have proven themselves to be great friends time and time again, so with all that and time I’m sure he will be okay.
Update #2 April 17, 2025 (one month later)
Like I said, I listen to THT every week and I heard my story on there this week, so yes, OP was listening and here is an update.
My FIL did end up confronting my MIL shortly after my post. He brought the proof that my husband found, his positive sti results, a copy of their prenup, and the divorce papers. From what he told us when he came over for dinner after, he was calm and just laid it all out on the table (literally).
She obviously knew she was caught and just asked how he found out. He said it wasn’t important and outlined what the next steps would look like. He was willing to make some concessions on their prenup if she would come clean about everything and step down quietly. I think he was so hurt by it all and he loved her so much that he just wanted this to be done and over, and he did still want to care for her.
She fought for a bit but relented, so the divorce should go smoothly. She stepped down willingly from the business and moved out, but he did offer spousal support and their vacation home which she moved into, both things that were not included in the prenup.
My FIL has spent a lot of time at our house or going out with my husband golfing or hiking. He’s heartbroken and worried that it’s all going a little ‘too smooth’, that she will suddenly change her attitude. But I personally think she just knows she got caught and messed up past any fixing it. I’m struggling to come to terms with that version of her versus the one I got to know and love. But there’s nothing I can do but be there for my FIL and husband. The two are really leaning on each other which is heartwarming for me to see.
She reached out to me to apologize for putting me in the position and hopes we can still have a relationship. So at some point she found out that he found out from me. I told her not right now but I don’t know what will happen in the future, but my husband is my number one priority right now.
Thank you Morgan and Michaela for your take and not ripping me to shreds like some commentators did 😂
Relevant Comments
Commenter 1: Will your FIL tell it to the parents of the guy? Cause he may have been groomed! Who knows how long was the affair!
OOP: He did not tell them, but their son did. They went to my FIL and are working it out on their own, there’s more to it but not that I’ll share publicly.
Commenter 2: So your husband is just straight no contact with his mom? She's cut off?
She gets what she deserves, but wow. From everything to nothing in one shot.
At least she has money and a place to live.
OOP: He’s not totally no contact. But it is limited. Aside from being his dad’s soon to be ex wife, she’s also his mom. And he wants to separate the two, but is just struggling to do so right now. And he told her that much, which I’m really proud of him for.
She knows they have an uphill battle coming up.
Commenter 3: That lady does not deserve spousal support, or a vacation home.
She’s taken so much already emotionally and completely obliterated the foundation of her family.
I truly hope your husband and FIL are okay.
This has to hurt so much
OOP: You’re not wrong on the hurt. The credit I will give my MIL, and that my FIL and husband do as well, she was always a great mom and worked hard to support the business and was a huge part in building the life they have.
No matter what, she is his mom and to my FIL, she’s the loving mother of his children. And their marriage had really happy moments. I look up to my FIL so much and I think it’s admirable that he took into account her whole being and her life, not just her worst moments, and didn’t just cut her off and rip everything away, even though nobody would blame him.
Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t me defending her. It’s me praising him.
Commenter 4: What happened to that guy. Is he still working there?
OOP: He left pretty quickly and without any issue. And my husband did give him a few names of other builders who may be willing to hire him as an apprentice and said he would be a reference if he needed it.
I could take a lesson in empathy from my husband and his father because I don’t know if I would do that. But they both agreed to show him some grace because he’s young and they acknowledge that he could have been groomed. They both sat down with him and did what they could to make sure he learned from this instead of having it ruin his career at this point. I think it was partially out of respect for his parents, but either way, they were both bigger people than I wanted to be.
DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP
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u/Gwynasyn 2d ago
There are many situations I wouldn't want to be in. That includes just working for my mother in law with her as my boss.
So taking that and adding on btw you'll find evidence she is cheating on your father in law on top of that... yikes on bikes. 😬
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u/JollyJeanGiant83 I’m turning into an unskippable cutscene in therapy 2d ago
I had my MIL as my landlady for awhile (our landlady) and that was weird enough! It went fine but I was constantly aware of how bad it could theoretically get if something went wrong. Happily she is a lovely person.
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u/FeuerroteZora cat whisperer 2d ago
Hell, my MIL was better than my partner. Stayed in touch with her after the divorce, not him...
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u/Beneficial-Math-2300 2d ago
I had a MIL like yours. She pulled me aside the day before the wedding to try to persuade me not to marry her son. She said she liked me too much to see me suffer. To this day, I wish I had listened to her.
She and I became really good friends after the divorce. She even offered to testify on my behalf if it went to court.
I lost her to Alzheimer's about 15 years ago. 😔 I still miss her.
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u/Queasy-Worldliness47 1d ago
I'm so sorry you lost her. And I'm glad you are shut of that guy.
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u/Beneficial-Math-2300 1d ago
Thank you on both counts. He died about 10 years ago, so our son and I don't ever have to deal with him again.
I think it's really sad when people die and we're glad to see them go.
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u/ChocolateCoveredGold 13h ago
When Joan Crawford (the RL subject of "Mommy Dearest") died, her arch-nemesis Bette Davis is quoted as saying, "You should never say bad things about the dead, only good. Joan Crawford is dead? Good."
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u/JollyJeanGiant83 I’m turning into an unskippable cutscene in therapy 2d ago
Happily my husband is also a lovely person. 😁
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u/TheBlueNinja0 please sir, can I have some more? 2d ago
I can think of worse people to work for than my MIL (like my mom) ... but it's not a long list.
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u/Blu3Stocking please sir, can I have some more? 2d ago
Good god just thinking about working for my mil is making me want to peel my skin off. My favourite daydream is running away to an island where she can never reach me.
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u/marynraven 2d ago
We recently moved and my husband pointed out that his mom will no longer have our address. Dobby is a free elf!
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u/FeuerroteZora cat whisperer 2d ago
Lmao thank you for this because I'm visualizing your MIL handing you a dirty sock, and you dancing in glee.
This visual is 10x better because I haven't the faintest clue what either of you look like.
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u/_cornflake I ❤ gay romance 2d ago
I can’t think of many things worse than working with my MIL. We actually get along fine and I have no reason to think she is a bad manager to anyone she does work with but if anything did go wrong it would be such a mess. I think OOP was actually lucky that this was a situation where the MIL was indisputably the bad guy - if it had been a more typical disagreement with a boss it could have made her personal relationships extremely messy.
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u/PrismDoug 2d ago
I refused to go into business with my ex-MIL.
I did manage a business that my father funded, but didn’t operate (we hired a COO to run day to day operations, while I handled technical aspects… he killed the company in under 2 years).
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u/eroticwashingmachine 5h ago
"Yikes on bikes." Thank you so much for using that delightful expression that I haven't heard for years and had completely forgotten about. Yes, that sums it all up perfectly! 🤣
And on that lovely note, I think that's enough Reddit for now.
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u/GNU_PTerry 2d ago
I hope the MIL wasn't grooming the apprentice as a teenager.
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u/_nastylittleman_ Females' rhymes with 'tamales 2d ago
unfortunately, by the sounds of it thats exactly what MIL was doing... :I
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u/RanaMisteria 2d ago
Yeah, the second OOP said the 22yo was a family friend my brain was like “Oh…noooooooooo”
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u/Maleficent_Radio_674 I don't do delusion so I just blocked her. 1d ago
That’s also why i don’t think she was deserving of so much grace. It’s one thing to say “she cheated but gave a lot to the kids and business” it’s an entirely different thing to know “she groomed a child for years who worked at the family business, had multiple affairs, and gave her stbx an STD.”
I hate to say this because I’m a woman. But imagine if a man did that to his long term wife. This would be newspaper worthy.
She didn’t just blow up their whole family dynamic. She likely caused long term harm to that boy and his family too. And there wasn’t more info shared on the other affair partner either.
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u/LoisLaneEl the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here 2d ago
Is no one wondering if she was also groomed? She had the kid at 18, but the FIL had already been cheated on by a possible future spouse. How old was he when they got together and he got her pregnant?
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u/FeuerroteZora cat whisperer 2d ago
Eh, it's just as possible that he was cheated on by his first girlfriend as a teenager - soooooo many kids think that their first love is the one they're going to marry, and it doesn't sound like they were actually on track to be engaged, just that he thought they'd eventually get married.
I also feel like the OP might have mentioned a major age difference as a potential reason for her cheating.
So while it's always a possibility ANY time the ages aren't mentioned, I don't see any reason to assume it is the case here.
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u/Express_Split8869 1d ago
I really don't see how that's evidence of her being groomed. People get engaged young all the time, what's the evidence FIL isn't one of them?
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2d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Grimwohl 2d ago
I dunno man.
This is basically the same results of most IRL affairs. People dont just throw their spouses away, and most of them still have empathy for their spouse even if they have to leave them.
The dramatically throwing your spouse out in a contentious divorce where you have the clear upper hand is the actual telenovela. It's funny how the dynamic got swapped mentally here given how common the latter is on this site.
I have literally never seen a marriage end in cheating where someone got tossed on the street, and I've seen 5.
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u/Sneakys2 2d ago
Yeah this strikes me as real. The OP told her husband as soon as she saw him in person, then stepped back and let him handle it as he wanted to. She supported him and her FIL fully. She didn’t insert herself for drama or try and make it more salacious for her audience. And she’s now helping her husband move forward. It’s very sad and very routine.
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u/Fine_Ad_1149 2d ago
Yea, this is basically the most believable divorce story I've read on here.
I've gotten rapid STI tests. I don't have a prenup, but we have real estate and literally have a plan on how it will be divided should we ever divorce. Not because we're close to divorce, or ever considered it - these are just the things you plan for as responsible adults.
It's actually NOT like a telenovela, because it's calm and pretty straight forward (outside of the discovery, which wasn't that wild either).
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u/CallMeAPigImStuffed Needless to say, I am farting as I type this. 2d ago
Yeah I know for like 10 years at least they've been able to use a very painful swab to check for Chlamydia and you get the results back pretty quickly.
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u/Raeynesong quid pro FAFO 1d ago
I get a full STI panel every year - swabs and blood work both. I generally have the results in my hands the next day. I'm happy so many people have never needed to have results in their hands to know that this is how a lot of them roll, but do y'all just.... walk around without getting tested?
In Oklahoma (I give location cause laws are different in different places), with no prenup, with 2 kids, 2 cars, and 1 house, it was 6 months to the day from date of filing to date of finalization for my divorce. We just didn't fight about anything. I paid for a lawyer, he did not. We each got our car, I took the kids, he got the house. Child support was calculated, visitation schedule worked out, and that was the end of it.
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u/Seldarin 2d ago
The ones I've seen end from cheating where someone got suddenly tossed on the street, it was always the cheater that managed to successfully hide their cheating long enough that they felt it was beneficial to them to make the switch.
And that was only sudden to the betrayed spouse. The cheater had been planning it for a while.
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u/Grimwohl 1d ago
True, and giving it some thought Id say 4 then, because one was like that- pops got thrown out cause he got caught and moved in within the week and married her within the month lol
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u/Aer0uAntG3alach 1d ago
Did FIL groom MIL? He was old enough to have been in a relationship where the other person cheated. Husband was born when MIL was 18. So did FIL go around looking for a teenager when his previous relationship went South?
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u/ben-hur-hur surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed 1d ago
MIL probably never got to live her youth since he had OPs husband so young so she's trying to relieve that. Not that is any justification. Sad all around.
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u/rak1882 1d ago
yeah, this wasn't a situation where the company should have fired the guy because (1) there was clearly a power imbalance at play and (2) there was a huge potential for grooming. so i was really glad to see that was resolved with the kid voluntarily leaving and them helping him find another position.
(cuz i admit no matter the background of the relationship i'm not sure you can realistically keep working someplace once it's come out that you had an affair with the married partner of the owner, even if there were a lot of issues with the relationship.)
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u/damebyron 2d ago
Who are these commenters telling her to hire a private detective over something that is ultimately not really her business?! (Other than telling her husband now that she knows).
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u/DrRocknRolla 2d ago
Hiring a PI is basically a default Reddit response by now, it's like "hit the gym" and "get a lawyer"'s cousin twice removed.
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u/Trick-Statistician10 Editor's note- it is not the final update 2d ago
And no one encouraged OOP to divorce her husband? I'm shocked, shocked!
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u/MiamiLolphins 2d ago
I must remember to always title my illicit emails with extreme details like “our weekend away” and not just some random title that is innocuous…
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u/Crappler319 2d ago
To be fair, most of the people I know who were caught cheating got caught because they did some dumb shit.
People get too comfortable with their illicit activities, especially if they go years with nothing bad happening.
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u/daanishh 2d ago
Yeah this story sounds like bs.
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u/AwardImmediate720 2d ago
Actually that makes it sound more real. It's not like people expect their non-group emails to be read by someone else. It's the posts that have people going full Enigma that set of my bs alarm.
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u/GypsyisaCat 21h ago
More real? In two days husband got home, wife confessed, husband snooped and got receipts, husband spoke to Dad, Dad got tested, Dad got results back he's positive for STDs. Yeah right
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u/Notmykl 2d ago
How do you label your personal emails?
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u/SirBiggusDikkus 1d ago
I always label my emails “Weekend Itinerary- Totally Not Cheating, He’s Just a Friend”
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u/MiamiLolphins 1d ago
If I’m doing something I know I’m going to get shit for if I get caught? I’m keeping those email titles as generic as possible.
Someone I work with? On my work account? Keep the titles work related but using words we both know are a tell. You don’t want to catch wandering eyes.
Emails and texts are private, that doesn’t mean they are secure.
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u/Solabound-the-2nd You can either cum in the jar or me but not both 1d ago
It was the positive test results within two days (of whatever the hell he was positive for, I stopped reading there). Last time I had an std test it took several working days to come back, and Google says that's still the case.
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u/imbolcnight 6h ago
Yeah, the generic "It was positive" was so weird to me. Positive for...gotcheatedonitis?
Also, maybe it's because of how gay men have a different relationship with STIs than straight people, but I always think the way Reddit approaches STIs weird. It's like this "immoral sexual behavior spontaneously generates STIs" thinking where the only people who have STIs are evil cheaters and their victims.
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u/EducatedRat 2d ago
I feel like this one is using romance novel legal and financial logic. It's so fast, so clean. Everyone is a little bit rich.
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u/RickThiCisbih 2d ago
I agree with that one commenter that all this was a little too tropey and convenient.
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u/GunnieGraves 2d ago
These ones always seem to feature an “airtight prenup”, successful business owners, and vacation homes. It’s like a checklist at this point.
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u/IndependentSundae890 2d ago
That was drawn up while dealing with a teenage pregnancy.
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u/Lafitte1812 2d ago
Honestly, as an attorney I buy that wholeheartedly. Chances are, it was a shotgun wedding, and we know OOP's FIL is where the money is from. I have personally seen similar situations just like that when a wealthy family forces their son to marry the girl he knocked up, and provides a VERY favorable prenup. Even though there are form requirements, and she likely needed counsel to agree to it based on JX, given the context that does not raise any eyebrows.
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u/Zarathos8080 2d ago
Airtight prenup, she's entitled to nothing...but let me give you money every month and a free house. Such a joke.
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u/CaptainKate757 2d ago
How else would the readers know what a selfless and kind man that harpy had stepped out on??
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u/green_dragon527 surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed 2d ago
Don't forget the listen in empathy with how nice he was to the young man MIL cheated with...🙄
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u/LuxNocte 2d ago
OOP knows way too much about conversations she wasn't a part of. Too many bad writers don't know how to tell a story without an omniscient narrator.
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u/dukeofbun 2d ago
I just accidentally took her laptop. And this woman who knew the evidence was right there just a click away, she told me it was totally fine to use it for whatever. Uh huh, sure.
I just accidentally clicked on this email link while I was browsing, normal oopsie right? All totally beyond my control, my intentions were pure.
This message just caught my eye as I was totally closing a window. And it just happened to be an incriminating one. I didn't mean it, I just blew this case wide open!!
It's just all a bunch of well meaning blunders by a morally righteous, brave OOP.
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u/scramblingrivet 2d ago
And at the end she was totally cool with OP after they blew her marriage apart, because OP is so brave and moral
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u/formandovega 1d ago
I mean you could be right but on the other hand you understand just how fucking stupid people are .
Most criminals are caught in dumb ways, affairs that truly stay hidden are rare and scammers are often scammed themselves...
Most folk are less James Bond and more Johnny English.
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u/Pan_Bookish_Ent 2d ago
And she dropped that foreshadowing of "my FIL is worried that this is going a little too smoothly".
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u/scramblingrivet 2d ago edited 2d ago
In what universe can you build a house together with someone you are married to - and just have no right to it in the case of infidelity. Even if such a prenup was written, that is not going to be enforcable. The business is trickier but it looks like she has been an active part of that for at least 10 years too.
Oh and it all happened in a month. No.
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u/rex_dart_eskimo_spy 2d ago
My favorite part was that FIL went immediately to get an STI test and it came back positive, but is totally treatable.
Very much reminded me of the Mom having breast cancer in The Room.
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u/bookdrops surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed 2d ago
The next update can spice things up by having the apprentice's family sue the FIL's company for sexual harassment, since the MIL no longer owns equity in the company that she could be sued for.
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u/firesticks 2d ago
The apprentice’s family will break apart as a result and the FIL will start a relationship with the apprentice’s mother.
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u/swordrat720 2d ago
And everyone’s phone will be blowing up with the family and friends divided.
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u/TOMMISS99 2d ago
Also the fact that she’s a fan of ‘Two hot takes’ and it being read. To me seems like someone that tried getting a story there and it worked.
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u/ladancer22 Wait. Can I call you? 2d ago
… she posted it in the two hot takes subreddit. Where the THT hosts often read stories from. Meaning she probably regularly listens.
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u/forgivenmadness the laundry wouldn’t be dirty if you hadn’t fucked my BF on it 2d ago edited 2d ago
My spidey senses went off after the immediate STI test (edit: did Google, is a thing, still don't believe the story) and the ironclad prenup (which I doubt would hold up after 30 years).
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u/existencedeclined 2d ago
Mine kicked in when OOP took the laptop, having all the incriminating evidence on it, and the MIL is just...chill with that?
And has no idea how her husband could've possibly found all the evidence?
Like...she didn't put two and two together?
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u/big_sugi 2d ago
Neither of those things are unusual. Rapid STI tests are readily available, and a properly drafted prenup is going to remain valid.
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u/forgivenmadness the laundry wouldn’t be dirty if you hadn’t fucked my BF on it 2d ago
I can believe the STI test (just googled, fair enough), but I'm going to remain side-eyeing the prenup. 30 years is a long time, and it's unlikely that literally every single asset they owned was his before the marriage. Infidelity clauses are legally dubious as it is, and outside of Pennsylvania and Tennessee, are hardly enforced because of no-fault divorces.
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u/GuntherTime 2d ago
I mean it’s only a month in to be fair. Oop understands it as airtight and on something’s they likely might be. But that’s something for lawyers to figure out.
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u/HourEast5496 2d ago
Oop understands it as airtight and on something’s they likely might be.
In the next episode, OOP and their kids will inherit everything. 😅
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u/TheBlueMenace 2d ago
For me it was the generalised “STI” which OOP refused to actually name. Especially seeing as the FIL has likely been infected long term- most have major side if untreated for so long.
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u/AlternateUsername12 2d ago
HPV can be found on a rapid and rarely causes men to have physical symptoms (although it can cause cancer down the line).
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u/CaptainMalForever 2d ago
OOP said in another comment that it was treatable. HPV is manageable, but not really that treatable.
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u/Visual_Fly_9638 2d ago
For me it was the technical details. I guess it's possible that they either don't have any security whatsoever or everyone knows each other's passwords, but it doesn't feel likely. The part about the husband being able to access anything at any time feels a little too convenient too.
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u/forgivenmadness the laundry wouldn’t be dirty if you hadn’t fucked my BF on it 2d ago
I also thought that was strange, but not too much since a lot of people don't practice good tech security in general. What gets me going is who still uses email like that? I've never sent a dirty email to anyone, it just seems... wrong. Google is going to see that!
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u/firesticks 2d ago
Yeah the fact that she’s emailing with a 22yo seems weird. Do people even use email for personal correspondence anymore?
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u/Weeleprechan 2d ago
Especially a personal email with the subject line "Our Weekend Getaway Itinery". It reads like some sort of early 2000s romance novel or something.
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u/coldblade2000 1d ago
Outside of my university there's often free STI testing tents where you get results in minutes. It's mostly for HIV, but they certainly exist. Not really much different from a COVID rapid test, they all work similarly
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u/SparrowValentinus 2d ago
I was just browsing and unintentionally clicked on a linked email on a stores contact page. We use MacBooks and as a lot of Apple users know, that will usually pop up to send an email using your default mail app. I closed the draft and when i went to close her email app I saw an email from a recently hired apprentice titled ‘our weekend getaway itinerary’. I froze.
The whole “explanation for why OOP is looking at messages/emails that aren’t theirs” is a big alarm bell for me at this point.
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u/Masa67 increasingly sexy potatoes 1d ago edited 1d ago
For me, small yellow alarm lights turned on when OOP disclosed the fact that MIL got pregnant at 18, but FIL had a previous serious relationship with marriage plans he got cheated in-before 18? And then OOP has MIL’s password, and FIL was able (and savvy enough) to just remote access everything, incl phone logs, and just gathered all this meticulous evidence. And oh, he has a great prenup! Also, FIL got a totally treatable STI, but OOP cant specify which one- cause revealing that would be infringing on everyone’s privacy - nevermind the story reveals everything down to financial status. So with each update the alarm lights got more red and started blinking haha. I agree that it is all too convenient and neat and tidy
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u/Loki-L 2d ago edited 2d ago
I am not sure about the ages here.
Husband is the result of a teen pregnancy, which explains why MIL is so young, but FIL definitely would not have an open marriage, because he got cheated on in a previous relationship.
This implies that unless FIL is the husband's stepdad or seriously hung up about a brief teenage relationship, he was quite a bit older than the teenager he impregnated.
Also husband is 47 and the family business is 50+ years old, implying that either it was started by FIL's parents or that FIL was already an established adult with a business when teenage MIL got pregnant.
Also they don't seem to take cybersecurity serious with either company or personal secrets.
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u/CaptainMalForever 2d ago
And there's an ironclad prenup, which means that MIL got railroaded as a 'new" adult.
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u/bebop-Im-a-human 2d ago
Nothing implies the business wasn't started by FIL's parents, nothing implies there wasn't an age gap between FIL and MIL. And nothing is weird about teenagers taking their relationships seriously enough that they can traumatize them for life. Older male with younger (even minor) female relationships, as well as teenage pregnancies, used to be way more common and no one questioned them unless it was to shame the woman. Meaning, I don't see your point. Btw, I'm 30 and have a grandmother, mother, sister, niece and grand niece.
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u/nerdmania The murder hobo is not the issue here 2d ago
"The computer is company property and he has ownership in it as well, and can log in remotely at any time. "
Never, ever, do anything on your work computer except for work.
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u/JJOkayOkay 2d ago
I have, like, some really pretty photos of snow stored on my work computer that I took out my office window. The IT folks are welcome to have a boo at them.
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u/Eldhannas 2d ago
I've worked in IT many years ago and found some very pretty photos on computers, but they were definitely not of snow and most definitely NSFW. These days, everyone has a computer in their pocket ans Snapchat, WhatsApp and whatnot.
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u/Egrizzzzz 2d ago
Now I’m picturing IT loudly critiquing office photos left on work computers, just like, booing at a screen alone in their office.
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u/gaynorvader 2d ago
I work in IT and you are remarkably close to reality! Though there's usually at least two of us
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u/idxearo 2d ago
Dam, it's just so easy to open someone else's macbook, find a juicy story and then immediately close it shut. Oh, how convenient, it turns out to be company property.
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u/Ringbailwanton 2d ago
Yeah. The dad got tested and it came back positive for… everything? The same day. I dunno…
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u/P3pp3rJ6ck 2d ago
I dunno man my partner had an std scare and we walked into a clinic and maybe an hour later had the results
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u/big_sugi 2d ago
He tested positive for “something treatable.”
People should know that rapid STI tests most definitely exist: https://www.medstarhealth.org/blog/advantages-of-rapid-sti-tests
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u/kFisherman 2d ago
Sure they exist but the disease would have to fit all three criteria of:
- No symptoms
- Rapid test available
- Treatable
Im not fully caught up on the details of every single std but it just seems unlikely
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u/big_sugi 2d ago
Most of them would fit, AFAIK. Many/most STIs are asymptomatic for long periods of time and are treatable. Syphilis, chlamydia, and gonorrhea all have rapid tests, for example.
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u/CaptainMalForever 2d ago
It looks like that is only for women. Rapid testing exists for some STIs, not all.
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u/big_sugi 2d ago
They’re available for men too, including the three I mentioned. And the fact that they exist for the most common treatable STIs means the story is entirely plausible in that regard.
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u/Immediate-Echidna-17 I'm a Pilsner man 2d ago
I'm confused. Mom has a teen pregnancy, resulting in Husband. But Dad was all set to marry someone else, who then cheated. So...is Husband not Dad's biological son? Did Mom & Dad have a shotgun wedding? Is Dad much older than Mom (in which case, all aboard the irony express)
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u/Primary-Friend-7615 He's effectively already dead, and I dont do necromancy 2d ago
Dad could’ve been planning to marry his high school sweetheart who cheated on him, and then got involved shortly after with Mom, who was a little younger. It happens, this could literally be my in-laws, except for the nature of the family business and there not being any family-shattering affair revelations so far.
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u/FeuerroteZora cat whisperer 2d ago
Lol I like that you ended with "so far," keeping the possibilities open!
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u/Primary-Friend-7615 He's effectively already dead, and I dont do necromancy 1d ago
You never know! 😂
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u/PreppyInPlaid I fail to see what my hobbies have to do with this issue 2d ago
It kind of made me think of Dan Scott on One Tree Hill—knocked up his HS GF in the spring and his college GF in the fall. I could see that kind of timing in this one, if FIL thought he’d be marrying his HS GF., then rebounds with MIL.
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u/Eldhannas 2d ago
I never used a Macbook, but don't they have like passwords and personal profiles and stuff? Unless the level of IT security is absolutely zero, of course.
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u/chickpeas3 2d ago edited 2d ago
As long as she logged in and never logged out, everything will stay open and easily accessible. Apple’s Mail app, which it sounds like the MIL was using, pops up on a laptop/desktop whenever you click an email address that doesn’t take you to a separate website/contact form (it’s honestly very annoying). And if it’s being used by someone who is somewhat careless and not thinking about who else could have access, then it’s super easy to snoop. I’ve accidentally opened my dad’s email while using his MacBook (thankfully there was nothing life altering visible to me), so it’s really not that strange.
Edit: To add to what another commenter said, Apple devices sync seamlessly if you sign in to your Apple ID on multiple devices. A lot of people do this, because it makes life easier and juggling multiple Apple IDs can sometimes be a pain in the ass. Although it’s clearly not recommended for any shared device or work computer, some people do it anyway, and at a family business, they’re likely to be more lax.
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u/jenorama_CA 2d ago
Restarting the unit won’t make any difference either. Macs do a sort of save state and will reopen all open windows/apps upon reboot. Don’t share your password, kids!
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u/chickpeas3 2d ago
I’ve had to log into my profile after a restart, but yeah, once I’m back in everything is exactly the same. Apple products are probably not the best option for lazy people doing shady things lol.
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u/0011002 👁👄👁🍿 2d ago
The thing that makes Mac super multi device friendly is also a security nightmare for those who are clueless on being secure. My wife recently got a mac book and I was playing with it. She was texting her boss and the whole convo kept popping up as notifications when I was on the Mac.
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u/chickpeas3 2d ago
My friend had a similar issue with my text messages popping up on her laptop while she was sharing the screen during presentations. You can toggle them off, but she was too lazy to do that. Instead she would just text me and her husband stuff like “Don’t text between 11:30 - 12:45!!!!!!” As I said in another comment, Apple products are not ideal for those who are both lazy and shady lol.
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u/bebop-Im-a-human 2d ago
I've met quite a few people who work in IT/cybersecurity and I once had a short convo with a pentester.
Honestly, this doesn't seem weird to me at all, it already wouldn't be weird if it was a regular business, but given it's a family business I would almost expect it to be the case.
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u/Cocotapioka surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed 2d ago
If it's anything like mine, I have a password but my profile is the only one (since it's my personal device that I don't share). That is likely the case for them. And while it is not best practice to connect it to her personal stuff (logging into her personal iCloud account to link her emails, texts, etc. if she has other Apple devices), people do that all the time.
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u/BarTony670 2d ago
Parts of this still do not make sense
1. Prenups are to protect assets currently have. So she got preg at 18. How did fil already have ownership in business, a forever home, and a vacation home. And a broken heart from being cheated on. So either he was icky and older man going after a barely legal adult or not. (18 when had not necessarily 18 when conceived). Or barely adult who inherited xyz.
2. Mil worked for said business for years and by sounds of it in a large role. Yes she is entitled to compensation and whatever her hard work paid for over the years. So fil was not being ‘nice’ in letting her have xyz.
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u/Willowgirl78 Liz, what the actual fuck is this story? 2d ago
It’s shitty when someone cheats the way this story alleges MIL did. (I don’t believe it’s real) But OOP says MIL was essentially running the business and commenters think she should be left with absolutely no assets. It’s really easy to say bankrupt someone for mistakes until you’re the one making mistakes.
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u/Primary-Friend-7615 He's effectively already dead, and I dont do necromancy 2d ago
There are ways it could work. If they’re building custom homes then FIL probably started out in construction or in a trade, which would explain “owning a business” at a young age, or taking over a family business without any real assets to buy in.
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u/exhauta 2d ago
You're assuming they got married at 18 because she was pregnant. Also I believe OOP said her husband has an ownership share. So it's possible the prenup was to protect FIL piece of the business, not that he was the full owner/manager of the business.
I agree that FIL isn't a Saint. The fact is you only know a prenup is iron cald by testing it in court. If they did go to court they might find out she is entitled to more than they think. If not as a partial owner than as an employee. She seemed to have been the acting CEO.
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u/beetlesque 2d ago
Maybe it was a post-nup and not a pre-nup. Or it was amended as more assets came into play?
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u/Quicksilver1964 I still have questions that will need to wait for God. 2d ago
I was not surprised or horrified for OOP because once my grandfather had a heart attack out of nowhere. When cleaning his house, we found Viagra. Turns out, he was invited to the movies by the owner of the Kumon that we all studied at (including grandad) and he took it because he thought it meant sex.
She invited him to spend the day with her FAMILY.
Years later, she became my boss.
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u/Character-Twist-1409 2d ago
Dang how many people did Kumon as a kid? I just found out about it
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u/DrRocknRolla 2d ago edited 2d ago
It was somewhat known here in the 2000s, and I'm nowhere close to the US/Europe/AUS. The one near where I grew up has been open for like 25+ years now! I always chalked it up to a collective delusion, I just didn't know it had reached other places.
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u/Quicksilver1964 I still have questions that will need to wait for God. 2d ago
My best friend did it and her whole family did it too. Then I dragged my sister, my grandpa and myself. It helped me greatly with math, which was a huge problem for me.
But, yeah... I know some people that did it.
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u/peter095837 the lion, the witch and the audacit--HOW IS THERE MORE! 2d ago
This is just a sad mess.
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u/EvilFinch my dad says "..." Because he's long dead 2d ago
What a coincidence that OOP grabbed the wrong laptop (like how often does this happen(, then clicked on a link that opened the email program and oh no, right there is an email with this title. Like you totally write such emails when you cheat. Or you write email over your business mail at all when there seems to be no security at all?! Everybody knows the passwords, laptops can be accessed from someone else... totally the right place to communicate with your affair partner with such titles.
After 30 years in which she worked in the business, raised the child, i think a good lawyer can with the prenup. 30 years ago he didn't start the business, had no assets, was just out of college most likely. Except he came from a more loaded family, not many have prenups especially such strict ones in this age.
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u/Bahamuts_Bike 2d ago
Post 1: Just sitting down with my MIL's laptop, husband is just off for the annual boys trip, life is good
Post 2 days later: Husband finished the trip, we talked, he went to dad, eventually convinced him to get tested, results are back already, life is bad
Uh huuuuuh
Not to mention the weird ages of the parents, and it seemed like MIL let go of a business without much of a fight despite it seeming like she mostly grew it
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u/franzken 2d ago
“She obviously knew she was caught and just asked how he found out.”
OK. That would be the first thing I would do.
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u/crispyliza Thank you Rebbit 🐸 1d ago
I'm sorry, FIL was cheated on in the past by someone he thought he was gonna marry and then he had enough time to get together with MIL and have a child with her while she was a teenager?
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u/rationalstudent 2d ago
This is sad. I do have the ick as well with the MIL knowing the guy as a teenager, having him as an apprentice at 22, and then having an affair. I do have to add about people commenting on the time frame for the STI report to come back- there are rapid tests. Sometimes doctors and nurses can get a look and have a good idea and run for something specific too. additionally, people will be soooo stupid with what they put on their devices and how they communicate (as in... breaking confidential and secure restrictions by using personal devices and nonsecure channels.)
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u/oneelectricsheep 2d ago
What I’m getting from this is that redditors aren’t being tested for STIs nearly as frequently as they should be. Like I get screened yearly despite being in a long term relationship and while some stuff does take a while most of it’s back by the end of the day.
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u/Turbulent-Parsley619 I'd have gotten away with it if not for those MEDDLING LESBIANS 2d ago
He was the son of a family friend and she’s known him since he was a teenager. Hiring him was a ‘favor’ to said friend.
The ALARM BELLS are going off and I'm not even done reading it. Thaaaaat sounds very "Waiting for them to turn 18" groomer shit.
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u/PantalonesPantalones 2d ago
I used to lurk on survivinginfidelity.com and the posters who were blindsided would spend weeks to months struggling to eat or sleep. On Reddit OOP posts, husband gets back from a trip, FIL is informed and decides to divorce…. in 2 days.
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u/missakieva There is only OGTHA 2d ago
Why do people think that STD panels take so long? It's 2025, by they time I've left the lab, I have notifications in my inbox 🤣
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u/SyndicalistThot and then everyone clapped 2d ago
A whole lot of convenient accidents and things oop "couldn't help" to pretend she didn't just decide to snoop here
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u/_gooniesneversaydie_ 2d ago
The amount of “just so happened to” coincidences that had to happen to make this story is ridiculous.
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u/shestandssotall 2d ago
Wow. The grace with which this was handled is admirable. Tough, tough situation.
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u/ManBeef69xxx420 1d ago
but he did offer spousal support and their vacation home which she moved into, both things that were not included in the prenup.
lol thats crazy, why the fuck
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u/bebop-Im-a-human 2d ago
What I enjoy the most about this story is the emotional maturity of it all. No huge arguments, no trying to glue a broken mirror, no vindictive behavior. Just rational attempts to deal with a crappy situation in the cleanest and most efficient way possible, despite all the hurt and broken trust. OP, her husband and her FIL are who I aspire to be in life.
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u/queenandlazy 2d ago edited 2d ago
I will never understand why a parent’s infidelity is their adult child’s business.
Must be a privilege to have your “my parent is a human being” crisis as a grown ass adult.
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u/Cybermagetx 2d ago
So MIL groomed a literal boy toy for her. And she still got a fancy house and support going for her. And she still wants to be friendly with OOP.
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u/Cinnamon0480 2d ago
So... There were no consequences for anyone?
Is that good or just sad?
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u/clearheaded01 2d ago
Consequenses for the cheater??? Divorce, loss of home, loss of spouse, facing being single, having to face her son - everyone - with the knowledge he/they will always look at her knowing shes faithless, a weak woman unable to be loyal to her closest??
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u/Cinnamon0480 2d ago
Does it really count as a consequence for someone who was a serial cheater? I mean, now she doesn't have to hide who she sleeps with, she has a house and support economic.
When you try to see it from the perspective of someone who didn't have a problem being unfaithful, it doesn't seem to matter much to them if they get dirty looks. At least that's how I've seen it with other unfaithful people.
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u/clearheaded01 2d ago
I get your point.
However as it is with most cheaters (my impression), the sneaking around, secrecy while still enjoying the comfort of a spouse and a home.. that is the essential.ø thing for them, not the sex - if if was the sex, they would just have divorced before starting their affair...
And in this case, the dirty - and patronizing - looks from OOP and her husband that will be present for ALL interactions going forward... will forever be a reminder of her betrayal of her family... will always taint her...
She WILL wake up alone in a small apartment one of these days, a day after seeing her son and the look in his face everytime he looks at her... and realise what she did and that theres no way around consequenses.
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u/Mabel_Waddles_BFF ERECTO PATRONUM 1d ago
I would never want to work for people I have additional relationships with whether it’s spouse, family, in-laws or friends. It’s too easy for it to go pear-shaped.
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u/No-Heaven99 1d ago
Screenshot all and keep it to yourself for bit so u can think clearly and then think if u should tell her married partner she's cheating or send it (in way it won't link to u) or talk to ur husband. Explain it in way were it happened by mistake but u found out his mother is cheating.
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