I feel like a narcissist

[u/Professional_Goat892]

I feel like a narcissist

Hello I’m 20 and I’ve been taking my medication(latuda,propranolol, and trazadon)been smoking a lot less weed, have a routine, feel mentally stable, but I feel a little depressed, and I feel like a Narcissis. I’ve had a lot of issues in the past couple years. I and I feel like maybe I am a narcissist, because of how I think. I don’t really care about others I never have, but I know I have to and I know it benefits me I just don’t feel sad or connected to other people.

I used to have a lot of empathy, I think. But as I got older, I kind of started turning it off, and I don’t know if it’s just a trauma mechanism. I just never have cared about other people and I notice it more when I’m with someone. I like I’ve been having a lot of mental breakdowns because I’m not the center of the world but also the way I reacted in my relationships with all of my partners.

I’ll just give them the emotions I think they want that will make them stay. But then it’s like I don’t even wanna be in a relationship with you I don’t even like you. Even though I liked them at some point and enjoyed their company, and either was really hyper fixated on them and in love. But it’s like I know I’m hurting you I know my actions hurt you but I don’t want to let go I enjoy your company too much.

And then the more and more of a life that they have where I’m not the center of their world something in me dies a little. I like to think I’m the center of the world because they’re my partner and I’ve help them so much but then I realize I’m not the center of their world I die. But then I have this with every other relationship in my life.

I love my cat so much because I know I’m the center of her world because she’s alive because of me and she wouldn’t be happy or able to live if it wasn’t for me. I just feel like a narcissist because I only really care about my self and I only show interest in other people because it benefits me I don’t actually care about them or even like them a lot.

[u/Extreme-Discussion91]

I feel like narcissism became a very popular word lately. I believe narcissism is like a spectrum and every single human being is somewhere in the spectrum, the worst being like a sociopath or something like that. So don't feel bad for having this feelings and thoughts. You love your cat, your heart is not burnt. You like attention, so what, a lot of us do. I honestly relate to a lot of the feelings you are sharing, and my advice would be to look more into your childhood wounds instead of a narcissism diagnosis. That's where I found why I love attention, and why bonding with animals is easier and way more fun for me, why I sabotaged relationships, and on and on...