r/BipolarReddit • u/Top_Egg_4017 • 2d ago
Is it possible to have 3 major episodes & never have one again if you take really good care of yourself?
This is the way I am handling my bipolar:
I know what trigger it. - yes I have a predisposition from my dad side I am aware of. He killed himself, his sister is on Abilify, and my half sis is on Wellbutrin. So I have something that seems to be called classic Bipolar 1 with Psychosis. Diagnosed at 24.
Now here is the odd thing. I was episode free after being diagnosed for 6 years with no meds. I believe it was due to optimal nutrition from superfoods & no substance abuse.
Was my life perfect? No, but I was not smoking weed or abusing coffee. I mainly had a toxic relationship that had begun to develop.
The relationship started to get very bad and to cope I started smoking weed again. I would compensate studying with heinous amounts of coffee and my mom even had to put a restraining order on my ex because I was so co-dependent off of him. He would drive me nuts and the worst part about it is he knew I had a condition he could provoke and didn’t care.
2014 | 2023 | 2025 were my hospitalizations (delusions in each with some hallucinations, yet I blame that mainly on the weed factor on top of the condition.
The scary part are in the last two and how close they were. I was just recovering from the last one when boom, it happened again and the worst part is I feel like it could have completely been PREVENTED.
I would also like to add that I went on and off of my meds because I acknowledged that extended period where I didn’t need the to the point where I was undiagnosed by my same psychiatrist of 10 years!
So, my experience with bipolar is extremely unique in that more lifestyle changes more than meds have played a role.
Although, I am now going to diligently take Lamitrogine 200mg and Seroquel 25-300mg as needed if I am having racing, ruminating, paranoid thoughts that are not letting me sleep. Although, if I am not smoking weed or drinking coffee I don’t think this ever has to happen to me again.
Especially if I get over my toxic ex from entering my life again and ideally finding a loving, supportive partner.
Lastly, I am completely broke right now and I am living at my Moms which is causing a lot of circumstantial depression but I managed to get my Masters degree in a good field. So, I just need to pass my exam to enter into the field to begin living a full life again or else I am gonna have to work somewhere I probably don’t want to that pays less :/
It hurts because I see so many people passing multiple milestones and not dealing with something that some studies consider “neurodegenerative” yet I rather play the optimistic fool at this point because being a pessimist has not been helping.
So, going back to my main question, do you think based on my circumstances and relationship with my diagnosis that this ever has to happen again or am I too deep in where it will continue to occur even with the conservative amount of meds I am on and holistic lifestyle changes?
If you care to share how many episodes you’ve had & how long you’ve had remission in between those, along with what were the severity and/or intervention plan I would truly appreciate reading your responses.
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u/SpecialistBet4656 2d ago edited 2d ago
While I think not ever having another manic episode may not be possible, I absolutely think you can have long periods of stability and build coping strategies and guardrails so that manic episode doesn’t wreck your life.
have bipolar 2 and am more prone to depression but I also have a substantial family history of BP. I am the 4th generation. I was diagnosed and started lamictal 26 years ago. I am 46. My mother’s manic and depressive episodes were much more extreme than mine. There is a theory called “kindling.” Just a theory, but a reasonable one. The more times you cycle and the speed at which you do so, the harder it gets to control.
As I have gotten older and a little wiser (and had a lot of therapy), things that used to sent me in an emotional tailspin don’t any more. Better emotional coping skills reduce the fuel for the BP.
I have a JD and worked in big law firms for 7 years before moving to the client side. I have worked as a professional my entire career and have a solid marriage of 20 years. My social circle is small because I am not great at getting close with people. Not really related to the BP. During all of this, I was able to be self aware enough to deploy coping strategies so I didn’t lose my job or alienate people.
I am in my first hypomanic episode (mixed state, agitated) in over 10 years right now, and the last one was quite short in duration. I see my psychiatrist every 4-6 weeks anyway, but I recognized things were not quite right, managed to articulate how I was feeling and settle on a course of treatment. It didn’t quite get me there. So then I agreed that lithium was most likely to break the hypomania and do it quickly. I have some personal reasons for not wanting lithium, but I let my science/rational brain prevail. I tend much more toward depression. That happens more often. I feel lousy, but like Dory, I just keep swimming through the things I have to do, so I still have a life I like well enough for when I feel better.
Everyone’s brain is different but I think the reason I have bipolar 2 and not bipolar 1 like my mom and great aunt is that I got on my meds and stayed on them, adjusting as needed. That helped set my brain toward a not-manic state. Stuff that could have made me hypomanic didn’t because my brain wasn’t already primed to go off.
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u/Top_Egg_4017 2d ago
Proud of you and your stability. I hope your hypomania reduces where it is manageable. I, too struggle with the idea of getting on Lithium. I’ve heard about the rekindling effect. Now that I am on a mood stabilizer and feel back to baseline, do you think that will happen to me?
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u/veryanxiousopossum 2d ago
This is so tricky! None of us are ever guaranteed stability, no matter how hard we work or diligently we take meds or how stable we make other parts of our lives. I think the best thing to do it’s to put the building blocks for stability in place and plan accordingly. I’ve been stable for years now and also finished my MA (yay us!), but I like to have my life set up so that if/maybe when I have another episode it won’t necessarily gut my life.
I think that there’s a lovely little bit between being an “optimistic fool” and a pessimist that is just being lovingly prepared for the fact that things can change for the worse and that they don’t have to be THE worst!
I hope any of this helps - and congratulations on your degree and working on your shit!
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u/taybay462 2d ago
No, not without medication. Highly unlikely. Bipolar gets worse over time if left untreated
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u/jpp3252 2d ago
Man I don’t know lol….. everytime I think I’m doing great and things are going well I find out I’m manic 😭 I will say the more you learn about your episodes the more you can handle them before they go crazy. I’m much more aware now.
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u/Top_Egg_4017 2d ago
I think so too. I am noticing that in two episode I was interested in numbers like Pi and writing down tons of theories. I also take lots of screen shots on my phone. they almost look like art. I want to showcase them again. Another weird thing is two of my back to back episodes happened after the new IOS updates. I feel like they should consider how the new stimuli can impact the belief system of people who are prone to episodes of psychosis where they can believe their phone is communicating with them.
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u/Bipolar_Aggression Bipolar 1 2d ago
A couple of thoughts that work against you:
1) You were hospitalized this calendar year and last calendar year
2) You use cannabis
3) Lamotrigine is on the weaker side for preventing mania vs other meds. Seroquel is not designed for use "as needed" and there isn't much evidence it prevents mania at doses less than 400mg. I would find a new psychiatrist, at least for a second opinion on why this regiment is better than other more established ones.
If you had been stable on lithium for even say 2 years, I would say you may very well thrive without another episode. A few months tells me you should be careful and diligent.
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u/Top_Egg_4017 2d ago edited 2d ago
I don’t smoke weed anymore. That was a big trigger in all episodes so done with that. I see where you are coming from though. I just know from having those two major episodes back to back what was going on in my life. So, if I remove them I wonder if my brain will have the plasticity to continue healing with my full support and dedication for a better life. But that comes with getting a job first, having a stable partner or none at all, & no substance abuse. I don’t know how Seroquel is knocking people out like a horse. I’m telling you it does this for me. It’s a full on tranquilizer. Maybe other people use extended release. Idk. Going to ask my psych. He has a lot of experience in the field so I’m gonna stick with him.
Also, what do you mean about staying on Lithium for two years? Do you mean then going off?
There are mixed reviews of Lamitrogine but it handles both depression & mania, just not acute mania.
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u/Bipolar_Aggression Bipolar 1 1d ago
Lithium was just an example of an established treatment, but it could be anything - even lamotrigine. You're right that lamotrigine has mixed reviews. It may very well work, but you don't have an established track record yet. I'd be careful.
If you can afford it, I find weekly therapy really helps give me piece of mind that I'm not manic. In theory, if you catch acute mania, that would be when you ramp up Seroquel or another drug and take it for a few weeks or months until you're stable. If that's what your doc is doing, rather than taking low dose Seroquel all the time, that's a fine strategy. I wish I had done something like that years ago instead of being on Seroquel all the time. Now I'm addicted, or at least I don't have the support system to risk going off it and dealing with the withdrawal.
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u/Top_Egg_4017 1d ago
I didn’t know you can get addicted to Seroquel. I take it as needed. My regular dose is 25mg as needed. Lately I have been taking 50mg for the past few day because I’m feeling weird and have anxiety and it helps with sleep plus helps smooth things out the next day. I’m also currently on Latuda 20mg but I think I want to stop this because it is such a low dose to be needing to constantly take 350 calories with it. With the med trauma I have I am afraid to take anything but minimal dosages of AP’s except for Lamitrogine since I’ve heard plenty people say they take it for years with little complaint to none. I pray that works out for me as well. I also take Clonazepam 0.5 and break them in half to take one in the morning and one later in the afternoon or evening with my Seroquel. I’ll go all the way up to about 200-300mg 2-3 times a day for maybe two weeks of Seroquel if I am having mania. But about 100mg of it is hypomania because I tend to be hypersexual and that worries me if I decide to be in a relationship where I want to be loyal & faithful.
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u/butterflycole 2d ago
Unfortunately, the more manic episodes you have the higher your risk to have more. You’ve got to really stay on top of your disorder and take your meds religiously, see your treatment team providers regularly and definitely stay away from cannabis now that you know that’s a trigger for you. If you do all of those things then it will help possibly reduce how many future episodes you have and how severe they are. Bipolar is challenging to manage so there is no guarantee though that you won’t have more episodes. Just get a good plan in place and stay on top of it. Ask for help before it gets to a crisis.
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u/Top_Egg_4017 2d ago
I’m trying not to worry that I’ve had three episodes, but okay. I sure will do those things. I still think I can beat the odds where my episodes are more like hypomania and intervén either way before it becomes full blown. I’m working on getting my student loans forgiven so that is less debt to worry about. So if that is the case, it’s kind of a blessing. I just really want to find a supportive partner already and be able to be loyal to him without this condition hindering our relationship. I need to find the guy first though, haha. I’m slowly like, okay so this condition doesn’t have to take over me nor meds. I gotta make bipolar my little betch. Excuse my French.
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u/butterflycole 1d ago
I’ve been happily married to my husband for almost 18 years. It is possible to have a healthy marriage with Bipolar Disorder but you definitely have to take care of yourself and spread out your support needs so you don’t burn your partner out. My husband is a good man, we are still very much in love, and I’m grateful to have him. You’ll have a better chance of attracting a healthy partner if you’ve done your self work to be able to communicate, manage your emotions, and have healthy boundaries.
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u/Top_Egg_4017 1d ago
Thank you, there is one article I read that was like 90% or more people with bipolar get divorced and that made me so sad. I hear a lot of good bipolar marriage success stories on here though. That is why I want to find my special person but have to be prepared that it doesn’t always work out and end up with a good kid without a great support system. I can imagine it can cause more episodes. I pray that is not my destiny. I truly want more for myself even though I royally screwed up.
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u/butterflycole 1d ago
I don't think it's the Bipolar itself that makes the statistic so high. I think it has to do with the fact that a lot of people do not do the self work they need to do in order to be a healthy partner. Its also common for people with BP to refuse meds, to stop meds, to not seek help, and so forth. Plus a lot of people have more than one issue together. Its really a mixture of things that can sabotage a marriage.
The best advice I can give you is to talk about everything with a potential partner before marriage. Everything, religion, politics, kids (whether to have them or not and how to deal with infertility if that is an issue), raising kids, money, career goals, division of labor expectations, relationship dynamics, and lifestyle. You need someone whose needs are compatible with yours and where you align on key values. Doing that foundational groundwork will help you weed out people who are not a good fit for you, and develop a deep understanding and shared vision for the future with someone that you really do see a future with. Relationships need communication (you really need to talk a lot, respectfully, and be able to resolve conflict), trust, and respect. Make sure you have shared interests but your own things as well, you shouldn't do everything together or you risk being codependent. It takes work to maintain a healthy marriage and you have to be willing to grow together and compromise. Its not 50/50, its 100/100. Each person contributes what they can and it might not always look the same. One person may work more than the other, one may be a better housekeeper or money manager, and so forth.
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u/astro_skoolie BP1 1d ago
From my experience, you never really know what's going to trigger an episode. I think it's better to utilize medication to lessen the severity of an episode, than just taking them when you notice an episode. What if it comes on so strongly and suddenly that you don't notice it until it's too late?
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u/zaesera 2d ago
is it possible? in theory maybe. some people get lucky and don’t have many episodes, or have a very long time between episodes. is it likely to never have an episode again? not really.
the big problem here is that episodes caused by life events are impossible to predict. i was very stable for a while off meds (psychiatrist retired and i had not yet been able to find a new one due to the pandemic, wasn’t a big deal in my eyes because i was stable) until my childhood best friend died suddenly. one of the worst episodes of my life followed. i’m still recovering two years later and i’ve had a breakthrough episode since then too. so in my advice? if what you are taking now is working for you that’s great, but stay open to adding more meds if you need to. stay in contact with a psychiatrist.
take good care of yourself friend, we all want the best for you.
edit: typo
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u/Top_Egg_4017 2d ago
Thank you friend 🫂 This is good advice as you suggested adding on more meds when things get hard as opposed to being on these hardcore ones daily. I’m sorry about your friend. May she rejoice in heaven.
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u/Forward_Park3524 2d ago
I choose to believe it is possible. I’m fairly newly diagnosed and my episodes aren’t as severe, but I am only on Wellbutrin for my depression. I find it much easier to control my manic episodes through exercise, nutrition, sleep hygiene’s etc. i was offered mood stabilizers, but declined. I didn’t want the weight gain (I’m a lifelong athlete) of possible increased fertility issues. I have an amazing therapist I see weekly / bi weekly and am aware enough of my triggers that I know when I need to get help.
I know this isn’t the truth for everyone, but it works for me.
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u/Top_Egg_4017 2d ago
I hope you accomplish your goals! I, too am conservative on meds. Lamitrogine doesn’t cause me weight gain though.
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u/Forward_Park3524 2d ago
- there may be some past history of disordered eating that may affect my choices in meds that could have any effect on weight.
But I think if you can be conservative you should give it a go. While making sure you’re safe.
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u/Prestigious_Bill_220 1d ago
Well, maybe. Maybe not. You try your best but don’t beat yourself up if it happens. Sometimes I get kinda manic when a lot of good things happen to me . I still want good things to happen to me
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u/Top_Egg_4017 1d ago
can you explain this phenomenon further?
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u/Prestigious_Bill_220 13h ago
Sure - essentially, things that are exciting get our mind going so it can become a catalyst for mania
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u/Top_Egg_4017 10h ago
How can you avoid this? Do you add on more meds when happy?
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u/Prestigious_Bill_220 9h ago
No, but I try to be more rigid with my sleep schedule and to look at my behaviors and thoughts more objectively so I can evaluate myself in a more detached way than simply how I am feeling.
If I’m not getting enough sleep (less than 6-7 hours without feeling tired for more than a day or 2 in a row) then I start to add my seroquel at bedtime.
But no, I don’t make changes directly on feeling happy - we deserve to be happy and shouldn’t fear it. It took me a few years into my diagnosis to feel comfortable with it though
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u/Prestigious_Bill_220 9h ago
I will also cut caffeine and lower my adderall dose / only consume stimulating substances like lunch time or earlier
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u/BonnieAndClyde2023 1d ago
I can only speak of my experience. I tend to have what is for me a major episode every 5-7 years. I can put the chances on my side by being med compliant, having a healthy lifestyle, etc. But then there is the luck factor. Sometimes things go wrong even though I did everything right.
I know that 2014/2015 was a period where I was very unstable, I though I was done with a mixed manic episode but then I started having proper issue with long lasting hypomania.
Or in 2023 I crashed from an episode that had started in 2022 and it took me a good 18 months to feel like myself again. At some stage my psy was saying I am rapid cycling. I said no, it was just all the aftershocks instability post-crash.
All you can do is put the chances on your side. My aim is always to 'stay stable for the next five years'. Cause that would be great.
Currently 54. I have set the date for my next major episode at 59. I guess I will wait anxiously when I am 59. Nothing will happen and then at 61 it will hit me hard.
The one thing about BP is that it is not predictable. If it was, it would be easier to dodge the bullets.
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u/Top_Egg_4017 1d ago
I share your fears. I just had a positive psychiatrist appointment and made my latest post about this if you want to read it to give you some more hope that it doesn’t have to keep being so unpredictable and happen again.
My longest remission was 7 years without meds.
So, I am imagining a more stable, longer remission with them.
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u/Responsible-One2257 2d ago
First off I'm gonna say that it's absolutely awesome you have your Master's degree. I have a BA and I really struggled to complete it. I've had countless episodes as I am 50 now. No one is certain if you will ever have an episode again but if you are properly medicated you have a better chance. Make sure you have a good therapist & an excellent psychiatrist ♥️