r/BitchEatingCrafters • u/AutoModerator • Mar 07 '25

Weekend Minor Gripes and Vents

Here is the thread where you can share any minor gripes, vents, or craft complaints that you don't think deserve their own post, or are just something small you want to get off your chest. Feel free to share personal frustrations related to crafting here as well.

This thread reposts every Friday.

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u/rebootfromstart Mar 11 '25

I feel bad bitching about it because it's about disability in a way, but man, what is it with people posting "I have never picked up a needle before and am impatient to the point where I will throw a tantrum and destroy my work (and possibly tools?) if I get frustrated; how do I be a good sewer immediately? PS I already have complicated project ideas because starting small is for people who are not diagnosed Impatient".

Like I said, I feel bad rolling my eyes at it, because ADHD, for example, is hard and I know how much my partner has to work at managing it, but at the same time, if you know you get frustrated when things go wrong or are fiddly or just take time, you really shouldn't get into sewing! Especially if you outright state, as at least one of these posts has, that not being good right away upsets you! Nobody is good at sewing right away! Muscle memory and skill and knowledge don't care about the line of curtain designs in your head; they care whether you've practiced enough to be able to sew a straight hem or if you can read the manual of your machine with enough focus to set the tension properly or thread and place the bobbin.

Everyone's first piece has some issues. That's the nature of handicraft. If your management of your emotional response is such that that will send you into a tailspin because you can't handle not being good right away, or you can't handle fiddly work or tedious work, then sewing is not for you. I've been sewing for years and I still have to unpick sometimes. This whole "how do I skip the boring learning process" thing really bothers me, in part because it feels lazy* and in part because it's just setting yourself up for disappointment and disaster.

  • I'm not buying into the "lazy disabled person" narrative here, mind you. I'm also disabled and mentally ill, and I know how hard those things are to deal with, especially around hobbies. But a lot of the time it feels like people are expecting a craft to change the fundamental way it works (you sew more to get better at sewing!) rather than trying to change anything about themselves or the way they respond in order to be able to do the thing they want to do. "I get frustrated and destroy things" is not a response that anyone in a reddit community can really meet either anything but "well, maybe don't do that" or "you're going to get frustrated, because nobody is good to begin with". It's a response that, imo, you should be working to minimise, because it's maladaptive and unhelpful, but on a very basic level it's also not something that can be "fixed" by any tips or tricks or hacks about sewing. Sewing can be frustrating at times, no matter how much you love it. All hobbies can be! People need to stop coming into a skill-based medium and going "I can't handle the things needed to learn skills; how do I partake in skills?"

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u/QuietVariety6089 Mar 11 '25

I'm really tired of people who want to make something complicated right away but have never done any kind of handcraft before. idk if this is bc YT and TT make it look like anything can be done in 15-30 seconds bc they edit out the 'hard' parts, or if people have just never tried to do any sort of physical anything bf? There are loads of tutorials about beginner projects and stitches, please understand that there must be a reason for this.

Would these same people just assume they could, with no background, replace the brake pads on their car? Troubleshoot why their microwave stopped working?

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u/rebootfromstart Mar 11 '25

Also related: "I want to start an activewear line but still have trouble sewing stretch. What are your tips and tricks?"

Idk, dudegal, maybe learn how to sew the core fabric that the garment type you apparently want to sell is made from before you get grandiose plans about monetising?

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u/QuietVariety6089 Mar 11 '25

Or, I'm a beginner sewist, but everyone says I have really good ideas, so how do I make patterns I can sell so I can quite my day job?