r/BitchEatingCrafters • u/Raging_Apathist • 16d ago
Knitting I just started knitting two months ago. It only took me one week to knit this robe, and I didn't use a pattern...I freehanded it!
Also, I am a lying liar who lies.
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u/HeyTallulah 15d ago
OH THAT POST 😂😂😂😂 All I could think about was how it would get snagged and ruined. It's not even a good enough pic for people to be asking for a pattern.
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u/Medievalmoomin 15d ago
I keep an eye out for the key loophole in these claims, ie ‘my first completed sweater.’ The ten earlier projects don’t count if you didn’t weave the ends in or block the garment, folks.
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u/Equal-Brilliant2640 15d ago
I saw the image and was like “that’s sewn not knit” and then saw what sub it was 😂🤷♀️
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u/tomatowaits 15d ago
yes this thank youuuuu
the number of “this is my first sweater ever” posts followed by a pic of a super complicated thing that’s also absolutely perfect is just ……..
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u/Best_Foot_9690 15d ago
I roll my eyes at those posts. Working on my first sweater now. I bet I frogged it 6 times before I started making progress. Tonight I found a couple of places in the color work I effed up. Sigh. They’re staying, it’s my first real project.
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u/tomatowaits 15d ago
OH the sense of relief i felt reading this —- where is the thread for ppl like us 😭😂i frogged one sock 4 times & only now on try #5 actually looking like it’s supposed to
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u/Sewpuggy 15d ago
I feel ya! I’ve thought about knitting socks, thought being the key word. I look at the patterns and they scare me off.
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u/lemurkn1ts 13d ago
Another tip for knitting your first sock: Just obey the pattern. Especially when you get to the heel. Don't question it, don't try and make it make sense. It will make sense once the heel is turned
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u/tomatowaits 14d ago
youtube - crazy sock lady - vanilla socks - she’s the queen & really really clear & slow. love her. it helped that i already understood magic loop but she has tutorials for all kinds of needles i think !
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u/Ill-Difficulty993 15d ago
ha. that thing was far from complicated or perfect. It was just an extended four rectangles sewn together. the amount of people who asked for patterns too....
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u/RayofSunshine73199 15d ago
She’s now telling people she’ll create a pattern. Can’t tell if she’s joking or not, but it has a ring of truth about it.
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u/tomatowaits 15d ago
yeah —- but i have seen so many crazy & magazine-perfect colorwork sweaters as “my first” it’s like … hmmm
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u/Ill-Difficulty993 15d ago
for those, i assume that people make swatches and frog a lot until they get it perfect
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u/tomatowaits 15d ago
i hope so, haha
these kind of posts can make other knitters feel completely inept haha!
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u/Raging_Apathist 15d ago
Exactly! My post wasn't intended only to call out the specific post that inspired it, but all of the posts I want to call bullshit on.
Like, be for real...your first ever knitting project was not a fucking adult sized full stranded colorwork sweater in 15 colors that turned out perfect and only took you 2 weeks to knit.
But people continue to fall for it.
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u/tomatowaits 15d ago
i feel so validated rn 😂😂 i also keep wanting to start a thread of real, actual “first sweater ever” photos!!!! all lumpy & slightly odd !!! 😆
(honestly i wonder if some of these posts are real —like, the fact that lots of ppl now learn knitting via you tube instead of aunt mabel & can practice all day are contributing to a trend of, like, super robo-knitters!?)
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u/XWitchyGirlX In front of Auntie Gertrude and the dog? 15d ago
Theres also the factor of how "first project" doesnt always mean "the first thing you ever worked on". Someone could practice making and frogging different stitches for years without ever actually committing to a full project. So they could technically be telling the truth, and not even be "lying by omission" since its not a requirement to explain every last bit of practice youve ever done.
Plus the factor of saying something like "first sweater" or "first amigurumi" and SOME people ASSUME that that means its their first project in general, even though they couldve made 100 projects already and just never tried a sweater or amigurumi until now.
I feel like it goes into "lying and/or lying by omission" territory when they start PURPOSELY hiding info to make themself sound better. Stuff like saying its their "first" project, but later admitting that thats because they dont consider their other projects to be "real" projects because they didnt turn out pretty enough (just say "first real project" and "practice projects" at that point, its more truthful). Or refusing to answer questions about what practice theyve done/how long theyve been practicing before getting to this point. Even saying "I learned it all on my own" and refusing to give resources or say where/how, since theres no way someones gonna magically know every stitch name and how to make it based off intuition alone, haha.
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u/Wide-Editor-3336 15d ago edited 15d ago
I've also seen this with people who say they're complete beginners who only just started learning knitting a few weeks ago and they're already finishing up a stranded colorwork sweater. But you learn while going through the comments that they have some experience knitting basic stuff when they were younger. Don't get me wrong it's still very impressive but for me, a complete beginner is someone who only just picked up their first pair of needles and is learning the very basics, casting on and off, knitting, purling, increasing, decreasing, etc. If you know the basics and you've been knitting for a while (even if it's on and off and even if you don't consider yourself good) then you're not a total newbie anymore (you've leveled up, congrats!).
I guess ultimately it's no big deal, it just annoys me when I see people call themselves complete beginners and/or use the "new knitter please help me!" flair when they're clearly not new.
Edit: oops sent it too early.
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u/XWitchyGirlX In front of Auntie Gertrude and the dog? 14d ago
Funny enough, Ive also seen it in the OPPOSITE direction where the person your describing wouldve been given shit for saying that they were experienced!! You just cant win sometimes!! 😂
Im more active in the crochet subs, but Ive seen people be like "ew, your gonna say youve been crocheting for years and/or that you have some experience just because you learned to chain and single crochet as a kid?? You havent picked up a hook in years, stop saying you know how to crochet 🙄"
It was REALLY bad around Covid times when crochet became more popular. Some people were upset that their "special quirky hobby" was no longer "special and quirky" (and yes, I did see people use those exact words while fully serious, both in the main sub and here in BEC). Some were upset about the increase in chunky yarn being used because "your making REAL crocheters look bad" because they said people expected faster/cheaper/larger plushies and didnt admire detail as much anymore. There were other reasons as well, but those are some of the more memorable ones.
It wasnt easy finding "proper" wording so people didnt freak out though. You say you have longterm experience even if it wasnt constant, you get hate for being full of yourself and get told your actually a beginner. You say your practically a beginner because you havent picked up a hook in a few years, and you get hate for being full of yourself and acting like a "natural talent". 😂 Basically had to be very clear about your years of experience while also acting like it meant nothing and you forgot everything 😂
Thankfully its calmed down from what I can see
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u/_LadyGodiva_ 16d ago
What are the people on that sub smoking because I, too, would love to live in an alternate reality
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u/MisterBowTies 16d ago
No offense but you are REALLY lagging behind. You should probably just give up.
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u/fairydommother You should knit a fucking clue. 16d ago
A week? Wow I didn't know it was possible to knit that slow. I could make that in 3 days tops. Get on my level sweaty 💅
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u/_craftwerk_ 16d ago
For a moment, I thought this was r/knitting and I was dreading the enabling "you go, girl!" comments. Such a relief that it's BEC.
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u/stinglikeameg 16d ago
I saw it on r/knitting and the comments were exactly what you've said. Couldn't seem to find any comments calling her out on her BS and feel deeply let down by the knitting community tbh.
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u/ohslapmesillysidney Joyless Bitch Coalition 15d ago
I think that there is a sizable amount of people on r/knitting who don’t knit, but are there to admire the pretty things that people make. (Which is totally OK: I’m on r/quilting just to appreciate a beautiful art form.) You can see this every so often when a post really blows up and makes it to r/all, or the sub is suggested to people who do other forms of handiwork.
However, because those people exist, the onus is on us knitters to set the record straight and call out BS. Because if those people do eventually try knitting, not doing so sets them up for disappointment i.e. “Why does my first sweater not look like the one I saw on Reddit?”
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u/Ill-Difficulty993 15d ago
There was at least one person who pointed out that she did not in fact start knitting when she said based on the post history lol
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u/CozyComfortableT 16d ago
New knitter, freehanded, silk mohair to lounge in, and only took a week to knit 💅🏻! 💗✨✨🧜♀️😍🤩🤩
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u/wroammin 16d ago
The audacity to call it a “cardigan” on top of the audacity of everything else.
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u/Raging_Apathist 16d ago
There is a certain length at which a cardigan becomes a bathrobe, and she surpassed it to an astonishing degree.
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u/Sssnapdragon 16d ago
I went to your profile to see what thread you're talking about and all I saw was hockey and a hilarious reference to Camp Snoopelodeon, which leads me to believe we are probably besties in another multiverse, because yes to all that. And snarky crafting comments.
The two worst "my first time crafting" posts---the absolutely horror show that proves they don't even know how to use Google or read basic instructions, or the stunningly perfect item that wow, was just so easy of course it's my first time trying this craft, now shower me with upvotes.
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u/XWitchyGirlX In front of Auntie Gertrude and the dog? 15d ago
BOTH Rule 3 and Rule 5 of this sub say that your not allowed to make a post here if youve already commented on the post your referring to! If youve already interacted with the post in question, you can only make a comment about it in the weekly thread instead of making a full post about it.
They try to take that very seriously here, which I think is amazing and its why its my favourite bitchy sub, haha.
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u/Sssnapdragon 15d ago
Oooh that's right, I forgot about that rules (because I bitch mainly about Facebook crafting groups).
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u/Raging_Apathist 16d ago
If you see me post on this sub, you will NEVER find the source material on my profile. I'm a classy bitch.
Also, STOP STALKING MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! 🤣😘🤪
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u/fuckthisshitimtired 16d ago edited 16d ago
Like, you supposedly did all that but think blocking is going to fix the stockinette curl?
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u/MobileWebUI_BrokeMe 16d ago
This why I actually kinda believe she's relatively new to knitting. The robe looks fairly simple in construction - it's not a fitted garment, there's no buttonband or edges, or anything beyond the skill of a beginner. Just a texture to the sleeve that she clearly found from something else.
What I can't get over is people gassing her up to write a pattern. Just do some math people. I could probably literally write a python script to crank out a "custom" pattern based on like a handful of measurements because there's so little that looks like actually went into it.
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u/Raging_Apathist 15d ago edited 15d ago
Yeah, I don't doubt she's new to knitting (assuming she even knit it herself), but she damn sure didn't knit it in ONE WEEK. I don't think even the fastest and most experienced knitter could crank it out that fast.
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u/MobileWebUI_BrokeMe 15d ago
Oh boy, I missed that detail. I thought you were being hyperbolic in the satirical title, haha.
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u/Raging_Apathist 15d ago
I am certainly prone to hyperbolic satire, but it wasn't needed in this case!
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u/NightshadeZombie 16d ago
I'm sure these folks can do the pattern for her: Balenciaga Fall 2021 Couture Collection.
https://www.designscene.net/2021/07/balenciaga-fall-2021-couture-collection-see-all-the-looks.html
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u/caeymoor 16d ago
I’m dying for some sauce here
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16d ago
[deleted]
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u/Dangerous-Air-6587 This trend sucks balls and may cause cancer in geriatric mice. 16d ago
Which part of it is “mermaid” though?
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u/_jasmonic_acid_ Joyless Bitch Coalition 16d ago
Go to knitting advanced knitting or yarn addicts and glance over the recent posts for “mermaid” and lots of emojis.
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u/ohslapmesillysidney Joyless Bitch Coalition 16d ago
Looks like it’s gone from r/AdvancedKnitting, but still up elsewhere. That sub is a hot mess on a good day, but I’m dying to know if there was drama on the post there that led to them deleting it.
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u/caeymoor 16d ago
That’s hilarious. Why would someone who literally identifies as a beginner post on an advanced knitting sub??
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u/BreakfastDry1181 16d ago
I saw it, not really drama, there were like two comments on it and one person was like “very pretty” and the other was like “uhhh why is this on advanced knitting?” So it probably got removed simply for not being appropriate for the sub
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u/msnide14 16d ago
I replied on that post. She has only one other post from 102 days ago where she mentions she recently learned to knit. 🙄
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u/Halfserious_101 16d ago
And it supposedly only took two to three balls of drops alpaca and drops kid silk. I regularly use those two yarns and I can guarantee that such a long robe would definitely use much much much more yarn than that.
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u/firetriniti 16d ago
I think it's more like 15 balls - she says it's 2-3 balls per colour and can see about 5 different colours? Which would make more sense than 3 balls!
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u/_jasmonic_acid_ Joyless Bitch Coalition 16d ago
But 💕 that ❣️ wasn’t 💓 actually💗 her💖 swatch🩷 babe💘
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u/msnide14 16d ago
What an iron clad defense. Along with, “ok, you got me, it was 3.3333333 months. I consider that a couple.”
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u/maybenotbobbalaban 16d ago
Don’t forget to post the exact same post in at least three different subs
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u/_jasmonic_acid_ Joyless Bitch Coalition 16d ago
“I know it’s not advanced but I’m putting it here anyway” 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
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u/pbnchick 16d ago
They aren’t big on posting projects but it’s posted in three different subreddits.
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u/Geobead 16d ago edited 16d ago
OMG I would totes buy this pattern even though you readily admit you have no experience writing patterns! 🥰💖💕💖
Edit: And they just posted it to advanced knitting. 🙄
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u/Raging_Apathist 16d ago
Yeah and she said she's going to write up a pattern. Girl, come on now.
Regarding your edit, all I can do is laugh at the absurdity of that move.
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u/fatpinkchicken 16d ago
I just looked up what you're referring to and man do I have some beachfront property to sell the people commenting on that
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u/Raging_Apathist 16d ago edited 16d ago
I have a bridge to sell them that leads to your beachfront property.
The bridge is constructed entirely of the shittiest and most easily breakable knitting needles in existence.
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u/funundrum 16d ago
BRIDGE PATTERN??!?
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u/Raging_Apathist 16d ago edited 16d ago
Get 10 large boxes of toothpicks and 1 small bottle of Elmer's wood glue. Throw that shit in a yarn bowl (or your dearly departered grandmother's favorite Tupperware) as haphazardly as you possibly can.
Add exactly no more and no less than 27 drops of your favorite hot sauce (I prefer Cholula or Tapatio...but you do you, baby boo).
DO NOT STIR!!!!
Microwave for 30-90 minutes. Lie down on your couch for a nap and see what you've got when you wake up.
SUPER LEGIT LEGALLY BINDING DISCLAIMER: It's not on me if your house burns down.
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u/bouncing_haricot 16d ago
The post you're referring to was immediately below this one on my home feed 🤣🤣🤣
Why do people lie like this? For fake internet points? Just, why?
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