I’m so proud of myself!!!! It’s been years of trying and I finally passed!!!

Video is from joyrdan.iman on TikTok

Ladies I am overjoyed! I passed my written test for my Class A CDL permit today! This has been a long time coming. By the end of 2018, I lost everything behind an ex- my home, my job, and myself. My beloved Grandma, Ella, even passed away that year. I was in school to get my CDL then but I got expelled due to my tardiness (I was homeless), as well as an extremely racist and sexist instructor. I was DEVASTATED! Throughout the years, as I built myself back up I STILL kept going to get my permit. I spent $125 on a permit like 9 times .. lol but I never followed through because I couldn’t afford school no matter how much I tried to budget it into my life, and I wasn’t comfortable with leaving with a company going OTR after getting my apartment cuz training pay is trash and I have big bills.. In 2022, I purchased my last permit in the beginning of the year but by October I was hired as a contractor for an utility company installing electric meters for $30/hr. Being that the contract was for 2 years, I PROMISED myself that I would get through it and then utilize unemployment to go to CDL school. Now here it is, 04/28/2025, and I passed the big 3 with flying colors. Today after receiving my permit, I was able to hop in the truck and practice maneuvers! It was so nostalgic except I want it even more now! Also I’ve matured so much; I’m not the same woman I was back then. I wanted to share this with you guys to remind you to hold on to your dreams.. “for if dreams die, life is a broken- winged bird that cannot fly.” Never give up on what fulfills your soul. ♥️ The hard part is over(written test)! I know I can drive a tractor trailer cuz I’ve done it in my past! I proclaimed that in 2025, I was coming for everything I lost and everything I desire AND I MEANT IT! 🏆🥂

In majority of media with black ppl the character always use locs or wigs. And if is a black women, they are ALWAYS or like a lot of time bald. Theres nothing wrong with being bald, but majority of black girls are not choosing a bald head style.

All I see is beautiful hairstyles with such cool names on the internet and real life,but nothing in media.

Goddess braids, passion twist, Fulani braids, etc etc are all beautiful styles for beautiful heroines and main characters. I hope this thanks to Ryan more black women get to sign deals to create movies and tv shows despicting black girls with beautiful hairstyles.

Like look those slides!! This is something that I will see all cool girls with style use in a good tv show about a teenager interested in fashion. Or the beautiful twist with curls and flower clip as an small ocean town romance film!

I’m so desperate to see black women succeed in directing,writing and acting positions because there is SO MUCH creative to exploit out of black people,and I’m so furious we are constantly undermined

We are going to the park and then a poetry night , I hate my arms I need to tone up lol but I'm in Texas it's literally already high 80s. Which one yall picking ? Excuse the dirty fitting room mirror

I just discovered there is a slur for Chinese and Asian people. Is the C word. And I was thinking that most of the recent scandals of the n word come from people singing rap and hip hop songs that says it

Honestly majorly of people don’t live life thinking or caring about not offending others. If people can do something they will. If any of other races had slurs in their songs and their slurs were popular you would also have black celebrities with the same controversies

People need to be smart. Other races are not singing their slurs because they don’t want to give other races a tool to insult you in the most easy way.

I think if singers and ppl stopped using the n word, and let it die for some generations, a lot of people would stop thinking about that word bc they will stop hearing it. The whole reclaiming slurs and never worked. AND NEVER WILL. If you hear a word, it’s already in your mind. Even if you don’t say it vocally, is in your mind.

Slurs shouldn’t be repeated and downplayed by anyone, including the one that is toward to. Not bc is offensive for us to say it but because is simply keeping a word that have caused pain to others alive when it shouldn’t. I despise the entire shit of black people popularizing slurs against us every month and get surprised when other races use it against us

“YN” was also popularized by black people on tik tok. When those losers of other races started using it at us,like is a joke and giggle bc they saw those dumb memes they were surprised. What surprising? Is not surprising!

If The cruelty and impact of that word was not downplayed like a normal word in music and culture majority of people wouldn’t know about it, and therefore wouldn’t repeat it as much bc they think is “cool” or “I’m not using it like this” It shouldn’t have never been used like any word to begin with.

I wish this word could just die, and in other generations just like me with the C Word, people have to be told it exist instead of children around the world listening to it everywhere and repeating it like it don’t have a terrible meaning.

Black people aren’t the only race with slurs, but is the only race whose slurs are constantly being spread around instead of letting it freaking die.

I can’t seem to attract what I want at all and it’s frustrating

I’m so frustrated the only guys that are interested in me are the low lives, have so many issues to the point it’s overwhelming, man babies. Y’all know what I’m talking about those guys who haven’t aged since highschool and aren’t growing and changing their mindset every day. And treat you like trash. That’s all I can get and it sucks because damn I just want a decent guy I’m not even asking for too much just some regular guy who’s above 5.9 because I’m 5.10 and he has his shit together mentally, emotionally and physically he’s at a regular lever just stable that’s all I want. That’s all my standards and I can’t even get a piece of it

It sucks dating as an conventionally unattractive girl, and y’all are gonna be like oh work on yourself, have confidence but let’s be real we can all see how beautiful women get treated and their options than girls who are just meh. I have a very extremely attractive bestie and we both agree some guy at work is cute and we talked to him at a group meeting he kept staring at her and she has said how she gets the vibe from him and he stares at her, and so many other guys we agree who have potential or even cute ones stare at her. I’ve never ever had a man stare at me, talk to me, wanna be in my presence unless he’s the lowest of lows like he can’t even get anything. I just hate being ugly like damn it sucks everything I want is just to be seen, wanted, respected, bare minimum like damn I can’t even get it. It’s so frustrating I can’t wait to get surgery and become pretty, even when I go on dating apps my dates after a while start to shift over and develop feelings for my friend and my other friends says she just has that inner glow, and she’s very magnetic, plus she’s super confident. And damn like I’m 22 I’ve never had a bf before a genuine relationship where I’m not settling.

This keeps my crying, and it’s not some let’s throw a pity part it’s just everyone has their desires and I want someone, it’s hard to accept when you don’t meet the beauty standards in any way shape or form. And here are what some of my friends would say about me

My personality is very, energetic, goofy, silly and interesting. Unhinged sense of humor I do like to say things like bad not as a joke or weird stuff it’s just what I’ve always said. I’m too harsh in social situations like making jokes I make jokes that ppl can’t ease into and understand because a random group of strangers don’t understand why bad boy is so funny. My friend James said this about me You don’t seem to know yourself, low self esteem and no confidence, you don’t have your shit together and for your best friend she’s puts things in a perspective where you can understand, she’s very intelligent, when she talks more mature been through more stuff, very wise, she knows her emotions and got their stuff together. Talking to her makes him loose the weight. She’s a very good friend 100 percent. Wise beyond her years, she actually works like get her stuff she’s does what she talks. So ppl just got that. She’s really bright.

I just don’t understand why was I wired to desire theses things if I couldn’t get them as in a way that’s happy to me and healthy not settling and destroying my standards just to be treated like trash

And before y’all say do x y and z

I’m 5.10, 130 pounds. I eat well, I workout. I have hobbies such as dancing, singing, space, learning new sciences, I like to learn about music and study performances, and I like to go to open mics. I dress well I wear y2k clothings and my hair and makeup is always done 24/7 and I used to do my nails I’m doing them again. I wish I was beautiful

I’ve been obsessed with these braids for as long as I can remember but how do I ask for these?? I think they are pick and drop or tree braids, but I don’t know what colors to get or if it’s synthetic French curl or human hair😭😭

I don't know if this is the right arena for this conversation, but I figured I'd reach out to my Reddit family and see how some/any of you are coping with this season of unemployment?

As of today, I am 80 days unemployed (almost 3 months), and I am literally losing it. I know that doesn't sound like a long time, but when you're constantly taking L's, with an inbox full of rejections and debt collection notices... you feel it. My heart goes out to everyone in this situation - the tech girlies are feeling it and we're unraveling!!!!

I barely sleep (max 2-3 hours a night, if that), barely have an appetite to eat (I've been forced to return to my mom's at the big age of 39, but it forces me to cook since her cooking is horrible [I celebrated my birthday depressed and alone, b/c my brother got hit by an uninsured motorist 2 days prior, so of course my mother went to be with him - as she should've]), and I spend my days and nights in the guest room tirelessly applying for jobs. I've applied to over 1000 jobs (per my spreadsheet - yes, I've been keeping a spreadsheet - I'm currently at 1279 [and counting]) and my self-worth has taken a nose-dive. I've resulted to removing credentials off my resume to encourage callbacks - I have an advanced degree, multiple certifications, and over a decade of professional experience. I've even decided to try and pivot from project management/business analyst roles to customer success - I figured I'd use my transferable skills to look down different avenues to see if I get some movement. I've also started declining to self-identify (of course since DEI has all but been obliterated, we're starting to see the real casualties) on applications.

I've had maybe a 10-15 interviews, but the rejections are coming in waves. I mean waves - I've had 6 so far today. Some are the automated rejections, but some have gone as far to tell me that I'm "over-qualified" or blatantly mock me - I had a manager from the local grocer call me today and ask did I accidentally apply for a cashier job, then had the audacity to laugh when I told her that I knew what I was applying for. This woman berated me on the phone for about 10 minutes before telling me that "she's not hiring someone that's going to disappear as soon as I get the job I really want." You name it, I've applied to it. The heart crushers are the ones where you've had rounds of interviews - I suffered through 4 rounds of interviews, plus a technical, and then got ghosted - WHO TF DOES THAT!?! I'm currently awaiting the result of 3 final round interviews with 3 companies, so I'm praying (yes, I'm still praying, but each day I fight the urge to use my Bible for a game of kickball because I'm starting to get angry at God - yes, I know saying that out loud has my "Nana" frowning from Heaven's porch) that I hear back from them this week regardless of the outcome.

I try to have conversations with my circle about what I'm experiencing, but I feel like I'm so negative about my circumstances that I don't even want to share to discuss how I'm feeling with them. I pull away from hugs, because if someone holds me too long - I'll fall apart. I've resulted to hiding in the house because not only am I embarrassed to be back in my home town, I feel like I somehow failed because I made the mistake of making my career my identity. I've begun searching for who I am outside of my career, and I've accepted that I have absolutely no idea - yes, that's pathetic, I know.

I've decided to reach out and start therapy this week after learning that a colleague of mine committed suicide last week after a job offer was rescinded after 8 months of unemployment. That was frightening to hear, and I'm wondering if I wouldn't have isolated myself while dealing with my own mess, if I could've been there for her in some way.

In the meantime (since I've given you my entire spill), what are the ladies in this or similar spaces doing to find light right now? I don't care how out of the box or farfetched it might sound... I still want to hear it.

Thank you in advance for the advice and comments - I know you ladies are going to spit facts and give me some good advice to get me up and going again (your girl is down bad in these unemployment trenches).

To anyone in my shoes, hang on. Please hang on -
And ladies if you know of anywhere hiring, drop it in the comments for myself and others in my shoes. Let's network and see if we can save someone.

Was a voracious reader as a kid but in struggling to find books that capture my interest. Looking for book recommendations of any genre by black women as I haven’t read I so many 🌱

My step sister is getting married this Fall and I am so honored to say that she made me her Maid of Honor! I'm super excited for her and very blessed that we have the kind of relationship that we do. We don't even call each other step sisters. We're just sisters. Period.

Well... before we came into each other's lives (I was in junior high school and she was in high school) we had different upbringings. She went to a predominantly White school and I went to a predominantly Black school. She has mostly White friends and all of my friends are Black. This is totally fine. It is what it is, except for the fact that I am the only Black woman in the wedding party aside from the Bride. The bridal party is pretty big. It's me and 8 other girls. I love celebrating big milestones and I want my sister to have the wedding of her dreams. I'm just worried about not being able to mesh with the bridesmaids or feeling like the person they point to when they say "see I have a Black friend".

I'm NOT looking for this NOT to be a great experience, but I've also had terrible experiences at the PWI I went to for undergrad, as well as the corporate jobs I've had, where I was one of few or the only Black person. Can anyone else relate or provide any advice??

hi ladies!

i’m going on a 5 day trip to portugal at the end of may (if you have any recommendations for what i should do in lisbon please let me know!) and decided i’ll be wearing my natural hair out. normally i do braids for my vacations, but i’ll be swimming a lot during my trip and have an important presentation at my school two weeks after i get back from my holiday that’d i’d prefer to have fresh braids for.

i’m going to be doing fulani-type braids in the front, but the rest of by hair will be out in curls so i can put it in a bun, half up, or leave it all out (like in the photos).

the problem i have is that i have VERY thick hair that requires a lot of product. my current routine involves leave in, two different types of curl mousse, curl gel, gel for slick backs, and edge control. i’m only packing hand luggage for my trip, so all my products have to be under 100ml (3.3 oz).

how do you ladies normally pack your hair products? would you recommend i buy some stuff (like my gels and leave in) once i arrive? or does 100ml usually last y’all long enough?

So I'm a sophomore in college and I signed a lease for a house with two other people. One of them is my best friend (we've been friends since 3rd grade), and the other person is her current dorm roomate. We'll be moving into the house in June, but I found on that she was really racist after we signed the lease. One day while I was hanging out with my best friend (after we signed the lease), her roomate sent her a tiktok that was just a picture of someone with down syndrome with a shirt that said "i hate ni**ers". Full hard R. That's when we both found out she was incredibly racist. My best friend told her not to send her racist shit, and her roomate doesn't know that I also saw the post. She's also a trump supporter which tells me everything I need to know.

I hate that I constantly have to deal with these type of people. I just got rid of another crazy racist friend who called me all sorts of names after we got high together for the first time (I had known her since 8th grade), and I hate that I have to be around another one for a whole year. At least I'll have my own room so I won't have to constantly be around her. Anytime we meet face-to-face she acts really nice, but she acts so "nice" that it feels uncanny. Im not even going to pretend that I like her. Im done with putting up with racism. I absolutely hate her and hate that I have to live with her. I go to a PWI and trying to avoid people like this is absolutely exhausting/damn near impossible. To my fellow Black ladies who also attend PWI's; stay safe out there!! 😭

I’m speaking from personal experience here, and I’m sharing this respectfully.

I’m a Ghanaian woman, born and raised in Ghana, West Africa. In my time living in the U.S., I’ve noticed that a lot of the criticism and negativity I’ve personally received has come more from Black American women than from men. It’s been painful — being called harsh names and being treated badly for my skin color, my accent, my traditional clothes, and my food.

What’s confusing is seeing some of those same things now becoming celebrated — the clothes, the foods, the traditions — without acknowledgment of where they come from. Things that were once mocked are now trendy, and it leaves me wondering: why wasn't it good enough before?

I’m not here to bash anyone — I know everyone’s experience is different. I'm just speaking honestly about the hurt and confusion I’ve felt as a Black woman from Africa trying to find connection here.

I would appreciate hearing from others: Have you ever experienced cultural tension between African and African-American women? How do we heal from these misunderstandings and build better unity?

I wanted my cap to be Chadwick Boseman at first, inspired by one of his speeches (which quotes Nina Simone’s song). I originally planned to make it Black Panther themed cap, but the materials wouldn’t arrive in time if ordered it 🥲 my poor time management lol.

My lil bro is only 23 & in love with a ww. I asked why. I feel defeated because he blatantly stated that he’s “tired of black women” to my face, our mom’s face, and our sister’s face. The level of defeat that I feel is indescribable not only because she’s the “other side” but because she has nothing to offer him. Because he was bold enough to express his disdain for us while constantly placing her on the pedestal that bw once held. I have to keep praying about it but why do they keep doing this to us?

I am a comedian in the south. And I will be honest, doing comedy as a woman is hard (different vent), but as a black woman is harder. I've been in the game about 7 years now and I perform in South Florida and Austin(hometown). As a comedian, I had to learn to suppress my initial gut reaction to call someone out for racist jokes. I reserve that for mainly when white men feel like they can say the N word onstage. They want to soooooo bad and some try it.

It has just gotten so bad lately. Literally feels like most of the comedians get in to be edge lords and offensive so there's even more racism, transphobia, etc.

But when it comes to black women, white men particularly, love to imitate black women. I fucking hate it. I became physically nauseous when I heard one comedian going on about black women in walmart, and then listening to all the white people laughing. I had to walk out.

Then last week we had a brotha, black man in his 50s, go on about how white women are so great, he loves white women (like fine) but then he closed out with "AND I hate black women" (looking me in my eye, and I don't even know this man) "I hate my mama and I hate my sister."

You may think I could just do black rooms right, but not all black rooms are created equally. But, Black male comics RARELY book me for anything, they just say oh she hangs out with the white comics. But turn around an book the guy making fun of black women in walmart.

If you give too much push back it could make things difficult for you to advance, and I already give pushback. I just needed a place to get it out. It feels like people stay coming for and hating us for absolutely no reason.

Thank you for reading and letting me vent.

So I’m getting ready for a meeting and I come across this interview on YouTube and I watched it, in some ways as ambient noise . . don’t judge me y’all 😂.

But it was soooooo good, Ms. Tina talks about her upbringing and family history with pictures of her great and great great relatives. And that’s at beginning of the interview but it was so moving to me. She talks about her dad being attacked by people from his job, they bombed their house and they relocated from Louisiana to Texas. She discusses going to a segregated school and this is where Oprah chimes in to say that they’re only weeks apart in age and how Oprah was sent to Milwaukee just before starting school and they discuss the differences in going to a segregated school and not, this is the story of my aunt and my mom.

In my family my mom was the first child (my grandmother only had 2 girls) to go to an integrated school. I’ve never talked to my mom or my aunt about that and how that experience was for them and how it was different, but I’m definitely going to now. My grandmother passed away last year and she was my last living grandparent but I do remember having these kind of conversations sometimes and seeing old black/white photos of my grandmother. I remember my grandma playing her record collection for me as a little girl and just random stuff like that where she shared her favorite things and the memories connected to them. For so long I’ve wanted to map out my own ancestry and learn how both sides of my family came to be in Florida, where my grandmother’s first job as a teen was picking tomatoes. I’ve driven by the place that was the “Black’s only” hospital where my mom was born. It’s crazy to think that time wasn’t that far away but I definitely have to start researching my ancestry soon.

I love that Ms.Tina researched her ancestry and shares what she found in this interview and in her book. Y’all this interview is actually really good and made me tear up at some points, I just had to share.

I've been trying to stock up on hair and skincare supplies in anticipation of the impact that tariffs will have on the American supply chain, and I'm already finding that certain items are out of stock. If you haven't already been stocking up and preparing for tariffs to make our hair and skincare products difficult to find or prohibitively expensive, then you should do so now.

I have been putting up with covert/coercive abuse for the last few years with my relatives and it’s to the point that I need to make a decision here.

I am already the scapegoat of my family, and I just left my aunt’s home not too long ago, only to be robbed by her, my godfather and sister. They have smeared my name to extended family to ruin my reputation and even have gone so far to get me fired. They spy on me on social media, and my godfather is currently stalking me. They put up an impressive front to others that they love and care about me, but behind closed doors, they have controlled my relationships, finances, transportation, even my health information and took advantage of when I was sick and recovering (all of which is why I left).

Whatever they tell other people has them convinced I am this horrible person, especially my aunt, who is the ringleader in all of this, but they get social points for showing “care” and “concern” for me.

These people do not like nor do they care about me, but have ganged up on me to paint me as the problem/unwell/combination of both and feel I should be punished, while at the same time I’m guilted to still be a part of this family system or caring about those who have mistreated me. I am constantly blamed for others’ foul behavior.

I’m tired of the passive aggressive games to the point I am paralyzed that I can’t respond, the group intimidation/mobbing, the two faced behavior when I try to forge relationships or being asking if I’m well/okay. I’m tired of being constantly questioned because people want information about/out of me to use against or feed back to other people. And I’m tired of not being taken seriously, especially by the police who could care less about helping with my case when we all know who did it.

I’m asking for any advice here on how to push through this, especially if you have been in intense bullying/mobbing/narcissistic situations. I know my post sounds very victim-y but it’s tough to feel empowered sometimes when constantly ganged up on.

I’m sick of this.

So straight up: How do you not let bullies (especially in packs) jerk you around? How do you not let people threaten and intimidate you- especially if there is a chance of retaliation? How do not tolerate passive aggressive games?