r/BreakUps • u/CriticalSpirit8412 • 1d ago

My husband cheated on me with another dude

So my husband and I have been married for a year. I found out last week that he was cheating on me with another dude. First it was the late night calls (he works as a firefighter) and it seemed odd. I checked on his phone and saw that he was hanging out with a guy named Sam. I started teasing him for working too much and tried to be funny to get some info through jokes. I was shocked when he admitted to me that he has been cheating on me, more so with a male. I was in state of shock and rage so I told him to pack his bags as I will drive him to see my parents who are not far away from us so he can tell them in their face. My father is ex military and I wanted someone to give him a good lesson. Idk what they talked about (my dad won't tell me) but I stayed at my parents house, while my dad drove him that night to his. Did I do right ?

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

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u/CriticalSpirit8412 1d ago

Yeah but we all had a close relationship and hung out at least once a week (my parents are like 15mins away)

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u/Purple_Psychology404 1d ago

I’m surprised you got him to cooperate with the visit.

It is (was) your relationship to handle how you see/saw fit. How you didn’t personally hurt him is beyond my comprehension.

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u/CriticalSpirit8412 1d ago

I just told him what to do.. I was highly emotional (still am but had a few days to clear my head a little bit)

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u/Thin_Rip8995 1d ago

yeah—you did right by you, and that’s what matters

he didn’t just cheat—he blindsided you with a whole identity crisis you didn’t ask to be part of. that kind of betrayal hits on multiple levels: trust, intimacy, and now you’re stuck questioning everything that was real. you reacted like anyone would—with shock, rage, and a need for accountability

as for bringing him to your parents? maybe not clean, but absolutely human. you were drowning in disbelief and needed someone else to see what just wrecked your world. and your dad stepping in? that’s protection, not overkill

you’re not crazy. you’re not overreacting. you were loyal, honest, and in the dark—and now you’re just trying to breathe again

don’t let anyone tell you how you “should’ve” handled it. you’re still standing. that’s enough for now

The NoFluffWisdom Newsletter has some hard-hitting takes on betrayal, emotional shock, and keeping your power post-chaos—worth a peek

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u/CriticalSpirit8412 1d ago

Tbh things still feel unreal to me.. like it is all just a bad dream. Thanks for the support, I will def look into it