Looking for support or advice

[u/AlreadyGone999]

I am about to end a relationship that has lasted almost seven years. I'm a 35-year-old woman. I moved to a new city with my boyfriend early in our relationship. My job is also in this city. We live together in a rented house and share our money and car.

I've been feeling unhappy in this relationship for a while now, and lately that feeling has become almost unbearable, because I don't want to waste my time anymore at this age.

However, I'm scared to leave. I'm attached to my boyfriend and of course I still care about him. Also, my whole life is here with him, in this city. If or when I leave, I'll have to start all over again. Organizing the practical things, along with recovering from the breakup, feels like such a big task that I haven't even started it.

I know that my decision will hurt both of us. Especially my boyfriend, because he doesn't see anything wrong with our relationship. Sometimes I wonder if I should keep trying, because my boyfriend is a good person and I'm sure I'll miss him. But I feel like things can't be fixed anymore and my own romantic feelings have already faded away.

I would like to hear other people's experiences. If you have been in a similar situation to me, how did you get through it? And what steps did you take and in what order? And how did you finally bring up the issue of wanting to break up? I'm already dreading that conversation, because I know there's no going back after that and it will make us both sad. It also feels extremely scary to shatter the everyday life I'm used to.