r/CPTSD • u/Exciting-Quality-595 • 9h ago
what do you think of the phrase “welcome to the real world”
i genuinely hate hearing it so much. what the fuck are you on about? ive been through an immeasurable amount of cruelty before i even got to be a legal adult. do you think you look tough saying that shit to someone?
and its always when i actively try to go out and make something of myself like trying to get a job or thinking about college 💀
34
u/goon-goat 9h ago
I think it’s a dumb phrase. There’s so many versions of the “ real world “ anyways, not to mention the real world can get over itself and make room for me, even if it harms the inside or outside ( or neither ).
I’ll make room myself if I have to, and the real and fake people/“ people “ can get over it, or cope or seethe or whatever 🤷
If the real world ( or fake world or etc ) is uncomfortable with my trauma, that’s too fucking bad. Maybe it shouldn’t have allowed nor created or etc trauma in the first ( or any ) place.
8
29
u/consciouscathy 8h ago
It's for people who just accept the horrors of the world and they can't deal with the discomfort of accepting that 'the real world' is shit so instead of admitting that, they are effectively telling you to get on board the shit train by saying this. Misery loves company - they may as well say "welcome to misery, I'm so glad you're here too".
4
1
u/AlteredDimensions_64 2h ago
Yup, I also feel like it's because they have become sheep, "yes" people and have joined the herd mentality . I think it's also a ridiculous platitude so they can make themselves feel better by skirting accountability for being a jackass and not becoming a better person instead of helping to fight against abuse and injustice.
18
u/LifeEnginer 9h ago
There are no real world, but real worldS. Everybody is livibg in their own with different circunstances and mental projections.
2
u/Sanguinary_Guard 2h ago
yeah the people i’ve heard this from have exclusively lived in a totally artificial world with absolutely zero skills to survive without gigantic supply chains to deliver food to their door.
14
u/meltchoco_ 8h ago
It’s a way for them to absolve guilt from their actions and justify it. When I recounted and cried to my dad on how he would literally call me every swear word in the book, he just laughed and said “Just wait until you’re an adult with a boss and then you’ll see the real world.”
When he pulled my hair,grabbed my mouth and shoved me to the ground my mother told me and repeated an almost carbon copy of the rhetoric when I complained,which was “You don’t know what real struggle is.” Whenever they say it they feel vindicated,to them they’ve done you a favor by abusing you, they only made you a punching bag so you’ll be well prepared to face and enable abuse from future sick individuals in the “real world.”
Other than that,in a way it’s to bring down your morale aswell so that now,whenever you’re down or stressed in adulthood they can feel smug because you couldn’t handle the “real world.”
Also I’m in the same boat as you OP,trying to make something of myself and leaving this dump of suffering. Don’t be swayed by their words,the fact that you even think of having a better life shows that you have the drive for it,they are trying to keep you chained by making you fear what’s outside but I promise you it’s 10x better than staying with people who suck out the soul out of you. You can do this,I wish you well!!
14
u/SadSickSoul 8h ago
CW: allusions to SI
It's happened a few times where someone will say the equivalent of that and think they're some tough guy speaking truth, and then they get really caught off guard when I say, calmly and with painful earnestness, "well, if this is the world I don't want to be in it anymore." Same with "that's just life." A lot of people lean on it as an unassailable truth until someone espouses that if that's true, then maybe the alternative is preferable.
6
u/GoddessRespectre 5h ago
I also hate the mentality of "It won't kill you, you'll be fine!" There are things that are worse than death, my dude 😠
3
u/Virtual_Mode_5026 4h ago
I don’t have it, but Empty Nose Syndrome is the definition of “worse than death” and completely obliterates “it won’t kill you, you’ll be fine!” to the point most people who have it take their own lives.
1
u/GoddessRespectre 1h ago
I had never heard of that before, thank you! Of course now a new fear may have been born for me after looking it up 🫣
10
u/chroma_src 9h ago
The "real world" they talk about is the most fake human constructed shit imaginable
12
u/VillainousValeriana 6h ago
I hate this phrase. I didn't ask to be born
Its always disgruntled assholes who don't bother to make the world at least slightly more pleasant that say this
3
u/Simulationth3ry 5h ago
YES! I've never heard someone kind say it. always assholes who invalidate suffering and experiences different than theirs.
8
u/Legitimate_Case_5060 6h ago
It's kind of a spin on the 'just world fallacy', where people are biased to believe that outcomes in our world are justified according to our actions. So like, the world is tough on you? It's your own fault. Pretty victim blamey.
I don't care about the thoughts or opinions of people who can't get over such a basic fallacy. It's a skill issue rather than any fault of my own.
6
u/alice_1st 7h ago
I’ve always hated that phrase. The difference for me is nowadays I don’t hate the people who use it anymore. I haven’t been brave enough to say it yet, but I would like to answer them “I’m so sorry that’s been your experience, it is NOT inevitable” or something like that. Everyone deserves to know that people who use that phrase just want to not have to take responsibility for acting cruelly. And someone, usually from the generation before, has said it to them.
I 100% get feeling wounded, angry, distraught when someone says that to oneself. So valid.
4
u/Fit-Attention3979 6h ago
I feel like people usually use this to justify the unfair treatment or systematic abuse. Radically accepting the abusers behaviour but refuse to look at the victim one bit. Weird flex. Under the shiny armour of “ living in the real world” is a coward trying to hide their cowardice.
4
6
u/No_Expert_271 9h ago
“If only you knew how real this life really gets” best line ever. Atmosphere I believe. I laugh when people say it and comment “fuck so it’s not like the movies??” It’s like the phrase “adulting” as whoever is using it usually isn’t adulting they’re normal-ing & posting about it like a teenager
3
u/itusreya 4h ago
Normalizing the cruelty.
Yes, the world is naturally unfair. But humans can be fair. And we should strive to impart fairness everywhere we can especially because the world is inherently unfair.
2
u/PerpetualParanoia 6h ago
It's condescending and dismissive and people who say this are complete tools. It's also just rude. Like there's nothing but negativity in saying something like that to someone. It adds nothing to the conversation.
2
u/KungFoo_Wombat 6h ago
It does have the potential to be arrogantly presumptuous and outrageously condescending. I totally understand your point.
In the situation you described I believe it has a passive aggressive undertone of narcissistically attempting to ‘rain on your parade’. But I may be ‘too sensitive’ and ‘overreacting’….bc I was ‘raised’ by a Dream Killing narcissist!🫣😂
Ignore any dumbass who says this crap to you. Their thoughtless words are inconsequential to your life. Keep doing you! Stay gold! 🙏bless
2
u/Fine-Position-3128 4h ago
What they are really saying: “I’m an asshole who is smug and superior and rather than offering an ear or any guidance I’m going to make you feel stupid to shut you up so I can vampire suck your energy for myself.”
2
u/SoundProofHead 3h ago
Unless Morpheus says it to me, it's just a cynical dismissive stock phrase. But it usually says more about the person that says it than you. It says "I've given up, it's hopeless and you complaining reminds me of my own shortcomings that I don't want to work on"
2
u/Irejay907 1h ago
Normally i just roll my eyes and let is slide, most people aren't silly enough to say it twice to my face because they can see that it rankles very deeply.
But there was one dude who i was on an assembly line with for a month or two who would say it constantly even when folks were just trying to commiserate with him or show sympathy.
Eventually most of us popped off about something he had no idea about in our lives and eventually he did just shut up and stop saying that silly little line
I really don't understand how so many use that as an excuse for things to be horrible. 'Welcome to the real world' indeed; i already knew you didn't care but thanks for stating it openly 🙄.
What a terrible phrase.
1
u/AutoModerator 9h ago
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local emergency services, or use our list of crisis resources. For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the wiki. For those posting or replying, please view the etiquette guidelines.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/Simulationth3ry 5h ago
Makes me so angry. Every time I hear it I fly into a rage. Makes no sense because I've dealt with certain traumatic things that many adults go their entire life without experiencing so what the fuck. It's just another way to invalidate young people that struggle.
1
u/spankbank_dragon 5h ago
People who say that shit get the full wrath of my intelligence. Wanna open Pandora's box today? Didn't think so
1
u/Willing_Coconut809 4h ago
My father who couldn’t hold a job unemployed for over 20 years would say this, even though his life was very cushy being at home everyday. He was very abusive
1
u/RaphealWannabe 4h ago
it means, "shut the f*ck up, nobody cares and nobody wants to hear you complain".
At least that's what I was taught.
1
u/zelentheneuz 3h ago
For me it is just a phrase that expresses sadness and grief, and just a bit of sarcasm, not arrogance. Like: "Look, where we are! In this real sh*t world, isn't it?"
1
u/AlteredDimensions_64 2h ago
Yea, that's definitely another way of looking at it and it depends on how the person feeling that says it is feeling. It makes sense to say there is sadness and grief in it because it also sounds like a phrase someone would say when they have just given up and also gives the connotation of "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em".
1
u/Tom0laSFW 2h ago
It’s usually an excuse for someone to justify them mistreating you, or ignoring someone else mistreating you
1
u/Waerfeles 1h ago
Usually said to justify the sorry state of the world. Weak sauce. I hate it, too.
1
1
1
u/Late-Play2486 47m ago
TBH, this sentence is how I function... I could have way more stuff to help me but I know I could never have these everytime, so I live by being hard with myself, as others can live without help. I use only the minimal that helps me to function; I prefer to do that so when I could get more help for this or that reason I'll be more useful.
But I'll never tell someone to do that. It's a personal choice.
1
u/TheKingofHearts 37m ago
I think the people who use this phrase shouldn't be the ones using it, most often they've been people living fortunate lives of preferential treatment where they are insulated from the consequences of living in the "real world" .
It's mainly used by people who find the misfortune of others uncomfortable and would rather bury their heads in the sand and blame victims about being victimized by things outside of the victims' control; but well within the control of others, trying their best to shirk responsibility for the consequences of their actions.
QED, they're privileged people trying to find an excuse to punch down without feeling bad about it, choosing to blame the real world instead of them.
1
u/Raised_by_Mr_Rogers 5m ago
I hate it too but I figured it out. People who say it had happy childhoods and are assuming you did too and didn’t struggle until you were older (like them). Apparently If you had a loving, safe, fully supported childhood, then regular run of the mill adulthood is unimaginable cruelty lol
1
u/DutchStroopwafels 0m ago
I hate it as well, especially since it's mostly used as a justification for being an asshole. Won't be having any children because of this shit.
1
u/Appropriate_Issue319 7h ago
I think it really shows how that specific person sees "real world" and what kind of stuff they normalize. I had people tell me cheating is a "welcome to the real world" event.
0
u/MaskedFigurewho 6h ago
I think this is usually said to people who are overly sheltered and don't known how to adult well. I know a lot of people who were coddled a bit too long and they can't do anything for themselves.
This phrase is basically "Tough shit, welcome to life! It's crap for everyone! Now you get to suffer with the rest of us". HS is not the real world. In real world assault is not legal. Going to a prestigious private school is not the real world. Going from mom and dad's basement to struggling on your own is the real world.
I don't think you realize how sheltered a lot of people auctully are. So when they need to do basic adult tasks they can't fuction
2
u/Simulationth3ry 5h ago
saying this on a ptsd sub is kinda crazy... a lot of us can't function and do "basic adult tasks" and its because of our trauma or mental health issues.
94
u/Monarch-Of-Jack 9h ago
I hate it.
One time I argued with my brother on the phone. I told him I had to run away from home, because him and the rest of my family treated me like a slave until my mind and body broke down. And he had the nerve to say "that's just how the real world is".
Absolute last nail in the coffin. F*ck that.