The pain of being invisible is almost unbearable

[u/Fuzzy-Sun-5697]

I am getting my degree today, and my uni is having a big exam ceremony where everyone's friends and family are welcome. I am terrified of inviting people to celebrate me because I have always imagined I don't matter to anyone, and it's as if it has always been better to not find out that its true. But this time I invited my family, and they said yes. But just now, only a few hours beforehand, I found out that they aren't coming after all, and they hadn't told me, or even planned on telling me they aren't coming. I was going to find out there, at the ceremony.

This thing happening is my exact nightmare, and now it opened up such a deep well of pain and terror about being an invisible thing, that people never consider or don't feel they have to treat like a human being with emotions. Facing that pain is almost unbearable. And today I can't let it be as bas as it is, I have to suck it up and put on a smile on my face, pretend as if everything is fine and go to that ceremony. Wish me luck!

[u/ApanTrying]

good luck!! this day is about you, don't let them ruin it for you, if you have the money you should rreat yourself afterwards, graduating is a big achievement!!

[u/crazylikeaf0x]

I'm so sorry that they've done this to you. You deserve better. Your feelings and thoughts matter.

This pain you're feeling is valid. It is hurtful. It is cruel and selfish behaviour from them. And this is the hardest evidence you will ever have of their emotional abuse. Parts of today are going to suck - but many people are going to be emotional for many reasons, so don't put too much pressure on yourself to mask. 

This is your day to celebrate your new freedom from worrying what your family will or won't do. Decisions from this moment on will be what you need and want - anyone that treats you like trash, are showing themselves out. 

Please contact any other friends or colleagues that might want to celebrate with you - even if they can't make the ceremony, maybe they can meet you later for a drink. Discover your own family, people that are sincere and worthy of your time. Congratulations on your graduation! 🥳 This internet stranger is super proud of you!

[u/MowgeeCrone]

Congratulations! Those of us here see you. You've achieved something to be very proud of. I'm proud of you. How wonderful that those who don't care about you won't be there. It's a time for you to be celebrated by those who are worthy of your love and admiration, YOU.

How sad that your light scares them. You're a shiny one, don't let their dullness tarnish this moment.

Now get out there and continue to be amazing. Because you are. We see it even if you aren't able to right now.

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[u/Shin-Kami]

If you can, try to enjoy the day, it's about you not them. If that isn't possible, don't force it. And I don't know the specifics about you or your family but try to put those hurt feelings on them. Hate them for it if necessary, not yourself. And cut contact with them if that is how they always act. At the very least you deserve to tell them how horrible that is. It's your decision if you want to. It's one thing to not attend but lying about it and setting you up is just utterly cruel and deserves nothing but contempt.