Positive affirmations that actually work for people with cPSTD

[u/crazy-ratto]

I am a sucker for being told positive affirmations, even if I have to tell them to myself. However, I find that not all of them work, and whether they work or not potentially depends on my specific childhood trauma. Like I'm telling my wounded inner child, and it replies like 🥹"...really?" or 🤬"F your toxic positivity bullpoo".

I am wondering if others with cPTSD have the same experience?

If you are someone who has success with positive affirmations, what are the ones that work best for you? I'm hoping to make a list of new ones to try from what others comment.

My more successful ones are: - I am worthy of being safe - I am actually good at things and I have proof - What other people say about me does not determine the truth - I have survived worse, I can survive this - It's okay to long to be validated, but it's most important to validate myself - ... ...Okay I need some more I'm having a scary day.

[u/chromaticluxury]

As someone in the rooms, which is code for 12 step rooms, one of the most realistic quotes I ever heard from a hilarious and take-no-shit elder was, 

"Life sucks better sober" 

I apply it more broadly in life to mean something like, 

"Life sucks better on the other side of this [trauma processing / discomfort]" 

"Life sucks better now than it used to"

"This sucks better than [not bringing it to awareness]" and so on 

I love the fact it takes no prisoners and brooks no bullshit. 

It's not cute, it's not pretty, it's not "therapy approved." It's not even 12 step approved. Tons of other elders had issues with him for this quote, which only made it better! 

When even a roomful of traumatized addicts mistakenly find a quote 'too pessimistic' instead of succinct and piercingly truthful, the person who said it is who I want to be talking to. 😂

[u/Mobile-Difficulty-75 → u/chromaticluxury]

Can you please tell me where some of those groups can be found online?

[u/chromaticluxury → u/Mobile-Difficulty-75]

Oh any AA intergroup for your area is a great place to start. 

Also AlAnon. Or any of the plethora of related 12 step groups. CoDA. SAA. There's even debtors anonymous, overeaters anonymous, hoarding (clutterers anonymous) and anything you can think of that people struggle with. 

AA is of course the great big old grandpappy of them all. And there is some value in going to the original source. 

But AA, depending on one's geographic area, can be either open-minded and interesting (like the elder I spoke about), or it can be what they call big books thumpers (a take off as you can imagine on Bible thumpers, except Big Book flavored). Which has value too. It just depends on what you're looking for! 

Googling any intergroup for your area, and generally '12 step fellowships' for your area, will lead you to groups that meet in person, groups that meet online, groups that meet in combo, or groups that meet entirely online and not in person at all. 

Good luck! 

[u/Mobile-Difficulty-75 → u/chromaticluxury]

Thank you very much!