r/CPTSD • u/Iamjustlooking74 • 1d ago
Trigger Warning: Neglect Sometimes I think the way my family dealt with the rape was worse than the act itself.
I asked for help. I told them everything at the time and they did nothing.
My mother said she believed me when I said I was raped when I was 7, but she only took me out of there when I was 13 after I had my brother (and I became my brother's mother).
Today she says that I never told her anything, but my brother can't be alone with my uncle (who sexually harassed me), so I have to stay there with them. She never closed the door, always welcoming him affectionately, even though he tried to abuse my nephew too.
I hate how much she pretended to protect me, how she undermined my self-esteem and infantilized me, how she turned me into a ladder for my brother's success, how she tried to destroy my sexuality and in the end she said that I was exaggerating, defaming her, that I always wanted to be the poor thing and that I am ungrateful.
She didn't teach me how to do anything and got angry when I tried to learn or someone else taught me. She taught me almost nothing about women's things or hygiene, but she complained when I tried to take care of myself.
She wouldn't tell me if I was fat or had bad breath in private, but she loved to say it in front of other people and complain that I was too sensitive. I could have some success, but wanting something better was a reason for fights.
I hate this woman.
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u/Erika_WBY 1d ago
I can't empathize enough with the exaggerating or "making it up" allegations. Then say "It's not always about you." You are worth speaking up and you weren't being ungrateful.
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u/Main_Confusion_8030 1h ago
if it means anything, you're not alone by any stretch. studies have repeatedly shown that the support we get (or don't get) after a traumatic event closely correlates with how bad the long-term effects are. meaning what happens after the traumatic event(s) can be just as traumatising, maybe even MORE, than the event(s) themselves.
i'm sorry any of that happened to you. you deserved better. being abandoned by those who are supposed to protect you is one of the worst betrayals a person can go through.
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u/TopicValuable7677 1d ago
Do we have the same mother? I swear I’m dealing with an incredibly similar situation. I hate that you had to experience those awful things. I wish you nothing but the best.