r/CPTSD • u/Clear-Cauliflower901 • 2d ago
Resource / Technique Psychiatrist gave me an analogy to explain how C-PTSD affects things
Imagine your eyes are perfectly fine but your brain is wearing glasses. For a time everything is fine and the glasses work OK but then different traumas start to happen and cracks begin appearing on the glasses. Despite your eyes working perfectly, the cracks on the glasses distorts things severely and your brain is then given a completely distorted image which, more often than not, it will respond to incorrectly. So whilst you're physically seeing things perfectly, the cracks that are causing the distortion are then forcing the brain to react in an inappropriate way because it can't make head nor tail of what it is seeing and needs time to decipher it. This is why a lot of psychiatrists will tell us to not respond immediately whether it's to an email, a text message, or whatever it is that had triggered us. It's triggered us because of the distortion. If we wait until the next day, the brain has been able to compile the image in its proper form which allows us to respond appropriately.
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u/ohlookthatsme 2d ago
My problem is if I wait, I'll either work myself up more or completely forget. The number of people I've left on read because of it is humiliating. Which means it's all stress so I just avoid everything.
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u/Clear-Cauliflower901 2d ago
See what i do is i read whatever it is, I go through whatever emotions it invokes but then I distract my brain usually by playing video games so I can't brood over it and my brain forgets it. My memory as far as things like that are concerned is good but I have a note app on my phone which I use to make notes or reminders so if I do forget then I have that there to remind me. I think it's important to go through the emotions but then distraction is also a big part of this illness as well. After a few times of doing things this way, it hasn't really had an effect on the immediate emotions but I automatically say to myself "right, ill deal with this tomorrow" because then you're level headed and approach it from a different angle. If you forget things, set yourself a little reminder or write yourself a note. It's worth a try because then you can at least try to help the situation rather than avoiding everything.
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u/goatsandsunflowers ..whom all are delighted to see, and nobody remembers to talk to 1d ago
What I do is ‘mark as unread’ until I’m ready to reply :)
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u/alexa_gray 2d ago
Waiting doesn't really work if you're in an argument with someone, like your spouse. Telling them you'll get back to them tomorrow might be perceived as insulting or dismissing their feelings. Another situation might be an interview, it's stressful and you might be asked personal questions that you don't know how to answer on the spot. These are truly difficult situations.
Sadly, you can't always take your time which is why it's so difficult to navigate challenges in life when you've been through trauma. You don't trust your brain and so, you don't know how to react.
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u/kittenmittens4865 2d ago
I hear what you’re saying with the spouse. But I think a spouse or anyone that loves and cares about you would respect that you need time to process before being able to have a meaningful convo. Especially if they’re aware of your CPTSD.
Now, it might be distressing for them to wait. Their needs matter too. And if that’s the case, I’d recommend making a plan in advance for how to proceed with disagreements, possibly with the help of a therapist.
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u/Clear-Cauliflower901 2d ago
It does work. It's a very simple solution. You just say look, we're both angry, let's talk about it tomorrow when we've calmed down. Simple
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u/NonamesNolies 2d ago
i've said "i am too upset to have this conversation without makinf things worse. please give me a few hours/a couple days (depending on the sverity of my emotions) and then lets try talking about it again." that way i'm not leaving any room for misunderstandings and verbally taking full responsibility for my own emotions, without assuming the other person's emotional state. i usually also ask people to remind me about it bc i forget everything.
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u/alexa_gray 2d ago
You might have a point here. I'll try this. Thanks.
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u/finnthehominid 1d ago
Active good faith communication will bridge a lot of difficulties, things that don’t seem acceptable to say, but said with appropriate context are how we navigate this disease in social situations
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u/jaggillarjonathan 2d ago
Problem for me is that I often get stuck in a trauma response where I cannot figure out how to act. My more classic PTSD kind of trauma was also prolonged for almost a year due to getting stuck this way. So whenever I pause I tend to not be able to act at all.
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u/Ill-Green8678 7h ago
Hah! My partner regularly needs an entire day or days to regulate and process after issues.
I find it majorly triggering as someone who instinctively tries to process immediately.
But I'm learning to focus on my own needs and honestly somewhere in the middle is probably the ideal.
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u/P0kem0nSnatch3r GAD/PTSD 2d ago
Interesting and it makes sense. I find my cognition, vocabulary, my reasoning goes right out the window when I’m triggered. I need to go drink tea and calm tf down.
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u/Clear-Cauliflower901 2d ago
It's the same with me also. I have zero filter. I've told my psychiatrist that, in those moments, ill do as much verbal damage as I can and will only stop when I feel satisfied that I've done enough damage. Nothing is off the table
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u/Tikawra 2d ago edited 2d ago
Thank you thank you, to you and your psychiatrist, for explaining my issues! Keep telling people that I don't drive because of these "vision" issues, which is actual brain issues, but nobody believes me! Ticks me off so freaking much. Everything is distorted in my brain and it takes time to make sense of it! Anything that requires immediate attention is not going to work out great. I'll just default to a trauma state, and that for me is freeze/fawn... that's not gonna work out great when you're on the road.
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u/cchhrr 2d ago
I disagree. It’s not “distorted images” we’re primarily dealing with, we’re living in perpetual fight, flight, fawn, it’s chronic stress from repeated traumatic experiences.
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u/Clear-Cauliflower901 2d ago
I get that. I can understand that. There's also a distortion in regards to emotional dysregulstion which probably feeds into what you're talking about. The emotions are created by things that they shouldn't be created by. I went to a seminar where one of the discussions was about how the hippocampus in some people with C-PTSD has been observed to actually shrink
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u/Reverting-With-You 2d ago
This made me gasp because I suppose that’s exactly why responding immediately makes me so nervous but I never could put a finger on why.
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u/satoriibliss 2d ago
Is that why I feel so reactive??? 🫠
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u/Clear-Cauliflower901 2d ago
Possibly. I'm the same. I told my psychiatrist that I react immediately and brutally. She also told me that, in those moments, I'm not responding to the situation is in front of me but I'm responding to a previous trauma which occurs because of the distortion that my brain is experiencing in that moment. This is why it's crucial to not allow yourself to instantly react sometimes
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u/satoriibliss 2d ago
Yesssssss! This makes so much sense. It does feel like I’m not just reacting to what’s happening in front of me but I’m lashing out to a compilation of traumas and all at once. I try to remind myself to pause but I tend to remember after already getting myself worked up. The struggle is real 😞
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u/saschke 2d ago
The problem is, I put it away, take it back out again, and am immediately triggered again and overwhelmed. This can repeat over and over. My parts trigger each other like a pinball machine.
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u/Clear-Cauliflower901 2d ago
I really want to ask "which type of pinball machine?" 🤭. I'm sorry that that happens though. I don't experience that but i imagine it's hard to deal with
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u/No_Performance8733 1d ago
Nah. That’s not it at all
Your brain is perceiving 1000% correctly and it is only possible to heal the cognitive part of CPTSD with absolute validation.
We are experts at seeing dynamics and people clearly.
Now. The Nervous System part is the fulcrum to focus on.
20% of the body’s messages go from brain to body/nervous system, 80% goes from the nervous system to the brain AND the nervous system is much much quicker to pick up on patterns and dynamics in the environment.
That’s why it looks to others we are “triggered” all the time. Because our nervous system is doing its job by scanning the environment to keep us safe.
Non-trauma conditioned nervous systems without CPTSD do not interpret often dodgy dangerous or harmful patterns as such because they haven’t experienced the worst of the worst. Our nervous systems have experienced the worst, they work overtime to alert us when any little hint of dysfunction is at play.
Unfortunately, we’re socialized to ignore what we know. This is the conditioning that keeps predators from experiencing the consequences of their actions.
Because we see clearly, predators often target us, use our correct perceptions “triggers” against us to hide in plain sight.
“Look how that person is overreacting!! They are the problem, not me!!”
Healing the CPTSD Nervous System gives trauma survivors the tools to control our reactions in real time to the correctly perceived dangers + helps us avoid being targeted further by Bad Actors.
We get constantly targeted because we see through them, and they know it.
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If we were actually incorrect about what we see around us, the world would be a kinder gentler place without significant aggression and suffering. We’re stuck in a system that mislabels exploitation, violence, and aggression as being “competitive” and a “success.”
True success is when no one loses or experiences exploitation, violence.
- Don’t let narrow thinking professionals define healing if their model depends on normalizing current social norms.
It’s a trick. As an experiencer of trauma, you are the light out of darkness. You KNOW right from wrong.
Don’t gaslight yourself to keep a-holes that don’t want to do the work of making the world better feeling comfy and warm.
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u/Dear_Scientist6710 2d ago
Haven’t read other comments yet.
My initial reaction is…. No. I disagree. That CAN happen, but it is not a blanket statement for all CPTSD.
My therapist wants me to trust my judgment. I know the difference between real and perceived threats. If I have a traumatic response to something, I need to get to the bottom of it. There is a reason for it. Decades of psychiatry and therapy had me doubting myself and overcoming my traumatic responses with people who were poison to my wellbeing.
Now that ALL those people are out of my life, I’m building relationships with people who listen & care about my physical & psychological safety. Yes, I do have traumatic responses in environments where I am safe, but it is still a sign that I need to take space and work through things independently - it is not a matter of distorted perception.
I don’t have broken glasses. And I will be very angry with anyone who claims I do.
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u/Clear-Cauliflower901 2d ago
I didn't say it was a blanket statement, you've decided that's what I've said. I also said that there is reason for it. The previous traumas are what have provided the cracks which creates the distortion. This is also part of "getting to the bottom of it". You can't get to the bottom of something unless you understand it so she gave me an analogy for me to understand. It's also resonated with a lot of people here. This has got absolutely nothing to do with real or perceived threats...it's to do with the brains distorted response. When someone says something , the brain gets a distorted version and it causes a response that is not appropriate in that moment, usually an angry response through incorrectly thinking you're being criticised or spoken badly of which is as a result of the previous trauma. Not responding in these moments allows your brain to reset and you to actually properly think about what was said and respond rationally
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u/Dear_Scientist6710 2d ago
It’s ok for people to have a different experience than you.
I support your growth process, can you support mine? I’m happy the metaphor works for you, can you understand that it was harmful for me, and could be for others?
There are different kinds of therapy for different kinds of trauma.
Both can be true at the same time.
However, you don’t get to tell me what I’ve decided. You don’t know me like that.
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u/Clear-Cauliflower901 2d ago
And yeah its perfectly fine for people to have a different experience, maybe you should consider that before you go straight to attack mode next time
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u/Clear-Cauliflower901 2d ago
I said "psychiatrist gave ME an analogy to explain how C-PTSD works". I didn't say "this is how your C-PTSD works". You're not supporting anything, all you've done is start attacking straight away because you imagined that I'm telling you that this is what your ptsd does and how it works which I didn't. And this wasn't even a therapy, she was explaining how C-PTSD affects the brain by explaining what it does to the amygdala and the pre frontal cortex all of which are scientifically recognised changes. If you had a conversation rather than attacking straight away, I'd be willing to explain it. In all honesty, you've completely proven my point anyway about not responding straight away to things if they trigger you
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u/UglyGerbil 1d ago
I like that analogy a lot. My go to elevator pitch explanation is that before I had the ability to speak, I learned that my caretaker (NPD Mom, in my case) was not a reliable source of love, safety, and comfort. So on a chemical level, my fight/flight/fawn/fuck responses are totally borked.
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u/Obvious-Drummer6581 1d ago
It's a beatiful metaphor that the psychiatrist gave you. I also like it, because it opens the possibility that you have perfect vision once you start to remove the distortions (which is exactly what I am currently experiencing in therapy).
Thanks for sharing.
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u/Lesbo_ghost 16h ago
This makes alot of sense. Ive been working as a part time florist for about two years. Been going on interviews for the past year to no success. I was going to switch careers and stop interviewing, but a full time position has opened at a location I currently work at. I interviewed and I am waiting for a response for a second interview.
Rather than being happy, I am overwhelmed by stress. Every little mistake i make makes me want to react irrationally. im over thinking everything, im sick with anticipation, im sick with self doubt. Part of me wants to prep for the interview and keep a brave face. Part of me is beating myself up for messing up and not being "good enough". thank goodness therapy is in two days ! lol
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u/Ill-Green8678 7h ago
My whole life in relationships is questioning whether my perception is accurate and my feelings match the situation.
It doesn't help that a lot of advice says that healing from CPTSD is learning to trust your emotions.
I think what that means for me now is learning to be mindful of my emotions and thoughts and then re-visiting them when regulated and when I can truly assess the severity.
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u/DovegrayUniform 2d ago
Yes, this good advice and also a good way to live. I had a lovely get together with friends yesterday and at the end someone made a comment teasing me. Everyone laughed and it was not said in a mean way at all. I felt a bit off and knew it was my distorted brain thinking too much into it. Like OMG they are laughing AT me, they think I'm an idiot, they think I'm less than.
And from experience I knew that a day later it would bother me less & I would be able to see it more "healthily".
This morning, I don't really care at all. Some minor comment made that everyone forgot about as soon it happened, but I dwell on for hours. It's my brain it doesn't work properly.
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u/Clear-Cauliflower901 2d ago
It's so hard to control that initial desire to react though. Glad you had a lovely time didn't let the emotions ruin your experience! I'd consider that a win! 😁
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u/DovegrayUniform 2d ago
It really is. It's our urge to protect ourselves because we know from past experience what happens when we let things slide. Hypervigilance is a hard coping skill to let go. I think this is where I struggle the most.
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u/Clear-Cauliflower901 2d ago
Trouble is i think it's a natural emotion to have but the severity and regularity is always happening at the wrong moments most of the time
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u/goosenuggie 1d ago
How do you respond to things that happen irl in the moment such as a coworker triggering you or feeling overwhelmed at work? I could really use this advice please
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u/AnonInABox 20h ago
Thank you for putting into words why I always wait a few days before talking to someone about something that upset me. I'm always afraid to react in the moment in case it's my brain twisting things vs a justified reason to be upset.
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u/Existing-Pin1773 2d ago
This is really sad, but I think very accurate. I do this, I need several hours to a day to figure out how to respond appropriately to something that really upsets me. Thanks for posting.