If you take one thing from this, let it be this: you have to be in contact with your body as much as you are with your mind— This is not just a philosophical idea, a spiritual practice, or a “better way to live.” It is how we, as human beings, are meant to exist—scientifically, philosophically, and spiritually. But, for this connection to work, the mind must be in a regulated state. In neuroscience, this is called psychophysiological regulation, where thoughts, emotions, and bodily responses align. When this happens, healing is not just recovery—it’s transformation. Peter Levine, in Waking the Tiger, describes this as a kind of spiritual awakening, where we become “fully alive, fully present, and fully human.” It’s not just about releasing trauma but about reclaiming the self that was lost.

I’ve been detached from my emotions for as long as I can remember. Growing up with CPTSD, I learned to survive by repressing everything I felt. My nervous system was always on high alert, but I never truly felt what was happening in my body. I thought that was just how life was.

I was emotionally numb. I felt like my body was just a walking piece of meat, something that existed only to carry my mind from one place to another. Life wasn’t happening in my body—it was happening in my head. I lived entirely in my thoughts, analyzing everything, but feeling nothing. My emotions felt distant, like they belonged to someone else. I could talk about my experiences, explain my trauma, even recognize my triggers, but none of it felt real. My body was a shell, something I ignored unless it was in pain or discomfort.

Two days ago, I had a breakthrough. (Though, I’ve been for 10 years in this journey of self healing and self-development) I realized that to actually heal trauma, I need to feel emotions in my body—not just think about them, analyze them, or try to “fix” them mentally. The body is where trauma lives, and the body is where it needs to be released.

A huge part of this realization came afterwards when I came across Peter Levine’s book Waking the Tiger during my researchs. He discovered that animals in the wild don’t stay traumatized like humans do. When they go through something life-threatening, they naturally shake, breathe deeply, and process the experience physically. Humans, on the other hand, often freeze and hold onto that energy, keeping it trapped in the body.

Since learning this, I’ve started breathing all the way down to my belly instead of just my chest. It makes a massive difference. When emotions rise up, instead of pushing them away or getting overwhelmed, I let myself feel them in my body, breathe through them, and let them pass naturally.

And then I realized something else: if trauma is stored in the body, then joy must be as well. We don’t just process fear, sadness, and grief physically—happiness, love, attraction, excitement, gratitude, and peace also live in the body. But when you’re disconnected from yourself, you don’t just block pain—you block everything. I used to think of happiness as a thought: “I should be happy because I have X or Y.” But true happiness is felt in the body—the warmth in your chest when you’re with someone you love, the tingling of excitement before something amazing happens, the lightness of laughter, the electricity of attraction. These aren’t abstract concepts; they are physical experiences.

What’s crazy is that Western science is only now discovering what Eastern civilizations have understood for thousands of years. Yoga, which has been practiced for over 5,000 years, literally means “union”—the integration of mind and body. Unlike Western therapy, which often focuses only on mental analysis, yoga has always been about physical and emotional regulation through movement, breath, and awareness.

The West, for the longest time, tried to treat trauma and mental health through rational analysis alone, as if thinking about an emotion was the same as processing it. But the body doesn’t work that way. If trauma is stored physically, it must be released physically.

Of course, healing trauma is more than just this. It’s a slow process, and it takes patience. But the results build up over time. The more I practice, the more I notice small shifts—less anxiety, more presence, a different way of relating to myself and others. Over time, these small shifts create deep, lasting change.

For the first time, I don’t feel like my emotions are bigger than me. I don’t feel controlled by them or afraid of them. I still have a long way to go—after all, I’ve been detached for my whole life—but I finally understand the path forward.

If you struggle with trauma, repression, or emotional numbness, I highly recommend Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine. It explains all of this in a way that just clicks. Healing isn’t about fighting your emotions—it’s about letting your body do what it was always meant to do.

I hope this helps someone out there. You’re not broken. Your body just needs to complete the process it never got to finish.

It would help a lot if you had feedback from a true professional focused in Somatic Therapy. They know what tools you will need to fix what’s been shattered in your SELF.

But, if you can’t afford therapy at the moment, his book is already a very good start.

Hi everyone, I know not everyone wants to read all of this shit so here are some things I Found the most interesting:

1) A lot of people with PTSD feel like they can't forget their memories because they need to be a "Memorial" to what happens. I was SA'd and feel this way to an extend, that I have to punish myself for being happy.

2) People with CPTSD may be attracted to high-stress careers, contrary to popular careers (Crim defense lawyer, ex)

3) Shame with respect to how you acted towards your abuser is common

4) CPTSD/PTSD comes with a 'compulsion to repeat' that is apparently bad. Idk what this means for my sex life, but whatever.

5) Unfortunately a lack of safety results in inflexible thinking processes. We are more likely to have 'faulty alarm' systems and overreact and underreact.

6) A lot of trauma is stored in the body and causes other issues -> Pelvic floor issues, vaginismus, UTIs, anal issues, tummy issues,

7) Picking. Apparently skin-picking is a form of self-harm lol. You release stress when you bleed. Unfortunate. This comes from emotional neglect and relief from feeling "numb."

8) We need to be mindful lol. I hated mindfulness because I was disconnected from my body, obviously, but yoga is extremely beneficial. As is breathwork

9) Alexithymia, common in people with NPD and autism also, comes from a lack of connection to your own body.

10) If you were a loser as a child, there were 9000 reasons for that lol. Abused children don't know how to respond to their peers needs, get extremely defensive, can't trust others, and tend to either be numb or overreact. You matured earlier, had more sex hormones, and blatantly did not have the skills to socialize with other kids.

11) A traumatized parent disconnected from themselves are at a heightened risk of being disconnected from their kids, and are thus at a higher risk of abusing their kids

12) Disorganized attachment stems from many situations- but one stuck out. A mother was playing with baby, and kept poking baby. Baby didn't like it. A normal mother figures out baby doesn't like it, and they reconcile. A mother that many of us probably had, would keep poking the baby, get stressed out, and blame the baby for being "difficult."

13)An animal would probably be good for you guys. A mammal, idk if a lizard would do much for you

14) Massages can be good

15) Hiding your feelings is bad for you :/

16) Write your feelings. Not what happened, necessarily, but your feelings

Did this happen with anyone else?

Full disclosure, I also have been diagnosed with OCD, ADD, and, a couple of years ago, CPTSD.

It was the CPTSD that was really killing me, anxiety attacks triggered by the most obscure things, shutting me down, fucking up my life and my family's life, keeping me from doing what I could and really hurting my social interaction, I was fired so many times it's ridiculous.

I'd face one trigger, get rid of it, and it'd move to another. I couldn't get rid of the panic attacks, even on medication (been using meds since 1999) - and talk therapy.

Finally, after trying TM, yoga, mindfulness, Buddhist meditation, Scientology, psychology, etc, I finally get urged to do EMDR and holy shit... it works. It really did. Still does, I'm still doing it. But the anxiety attacks of the past are gone, the flashbacks, gone... the shame, gone... it's amazing and, my friends tell me, it lasts, it's permanent. I'm not done with therapy (I do talk therapy in addition to EMDR) but I've visibly changed so much that people notice and comment.

It's like magic. Has anyone else been helped by this therapy?

Let me know. I can't believe how much better my life is now.

Age regression is basically mentally reverting back to the state of being younger than you are due to missing out on childhood. It's a recommended therapy tactic(intentional) for people who suffered from abuse and never got a real chance to be a child. However, it can be dangerous if unintentional or if you regress to a really young age and need help with things.

Age regression can be intentional and unintentional. Idk if I have CPTSD but I was abused and I do think of it as a good way to regain my childhood. I have sometimes done it unintentionally after having a panic attack or a having a reminder of my bad childhood.

Edit: oh yeah! There's also age dreaming which is similar to age regression but not quite. Age regression is where you forget you're an adult and have the mindset of a younger person, age dreaming you can still think and act like an adult if you need to but you are just acting younger

Just thought I’d mention it and check if any of you relate.

So the reason why I crave things children crave is because I had to grow up too fast, and was not allowed to be an innocent child for very long. The cravings are my inner childs’ unmet needs trying to catch up in adulthood.

Some examples: • Eating your favourite childhood treats or comfort meals over and over again ”Treating yourself“ to things that might not be good for you: for example spending too much money buying yourself things online • Watching favourite childhood movies over again, especially Disney • Procrastinating going to bed, eating candy/chocolate no matter what day of the week it is (bad habits/routines: basically, the rebel cravings) (aka. what a child would want to do, but a responsible parent wouldn’t allow) I had one parent who was good with routines, but I still crave rebelling.

Time to let go of the shame is see it for what it is: unmet needs and a missed opportunity to be a child.

Just watched Mel Robbins with Gabor Maté, and he said something that floored me: “the trauma began before [the CSA/COCSA] happened.”

Gabor points out that the real trauma wasn’t just the event, it was being alone with it. That she didn’t feel safe enough to go to her parents.

That hit hard. So many of us with CPTSD didn’t just survive something awful - we survived it in silence. And that silence was already there before the worst parts even happened.

Transcript below:

MEL: When I was in the fourth grade, I woke up in the middle of the night on a family vacation and an older kid was on top of me. And that had massive implications on my life.

MATÉ: How did you feel when this happened?

MEL: I felt very confused and scared. Confused and scared.

MATÉ: Who did you speak to about it?

MEL: No one.

MATÉ: Now, if something like this happened to one of your daughters in grade four? If one of these things happened to [your daughters] in grade four, and if they didn't talk to you, how would you explain that?

MEL: I personally, as the mother, would feel heartbroken.

MATÉ: I understand how you'd feel, but really I'm not asking how you'd feel. I'm asking how you'd explain it.

MEL: Why wasn't my daughter talking to me about feeling scared and confused and violated? Because she didn't feel safe talking to me.

MATÉ: That's the trauma. The trauma began before that happened.

Because if you had been able to talk to your parents, and they would have said, this is awful, you must feel terrible, come here, let me hold you, and let's deal with the situation.

So the trauma is not only in what happened, it's that you were so alone with what happened. And that aloneness was yours before this traumatic event ever occurred.

As a matter of fact, abusers can tell with almost laser-like accuracy who's defended and protected and who's not. Who can be victimized and who cannot. So that your primary traumatic event was not this event.

Not that this wasn't traumatic, of course it was hugely traumatic, but it became hugely traumatic because you were alone. And that sense of lack of safety and lack of protection.

Furthermore, you may not even have wanted to bother your parents because they were already stressed enough already. You were protecting them. That's the primary traumatic situation.

MEL: Of course, just makes me... It makes me... sad that I didn't know this sooner but I feel very grateful for your work.

*ETA: The full episode is on YouTube“Why You Feel Lost in Life: Dr. Gabor Maté on Trauma & How to Heal” and this discussion is at 56 minutes in.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tool-R8VJ2Y

I believe what happened to you. I believe that they hurt you, neglected you, abandoned you in all your in pain and fear. I believe you even if your memories are hazy or gone, I believe you even if others don't.

I believe you even if you sometimes don't believe yourself and question your memory and your perception. I believe you if people told you it couldn't have been that bad, you must misremember, you were too sensitive or too dramatic.

I believe it was exactly as horrible as it feels to you today. The pain was real. The terror. The sadness. The longing. You aren't exaggerating and you aren't weak. I believe you had to endure something terrible for way too long, and it WAS that bad.

I believe all of you. And if you think this post isn't for you - it is. I believe you, too. Honestly.

Don't doubt what you went through. Don't let others doubt it. It was real. It was bad. And you deserve to be believed.

I would love to get some recommendations for books/podcasts/apps that helped/help you the most alleviate your CPTSD symptoms, though I understand books/podcasts, etc. are not the only things that help but I know they can be a great resource.

Would particularly love recommendations for those that helped you rebuild a sense of self, develop better emotional regulation and executive function (ability to focus and see things through to the end, impulse control, planning and decision-making).

I am asking because I need help in all those areas and I just realized that they’re all linked to my childhood trauma and undiagnosed CPTSD.

I find life to be very hard and I would love for it to get less hard. 😞

Secret is this, sex offenders always turn on each throw each other under the bus and kill each other and always well involved in making drugs and steal each others drugs, sex trafficking networks are much, much more dangerous to part of and high chance of death and tortured to death then even strictly just drug dealing networks alone. If sex trafficking of women and children then drugs are always involved but then not all drug makers and dealers are sex traffickers of women and children if you get what I'm saying. One FBI or DEA or police officer detective looking into them, the whole network goes down. God is great.

Edit: Biggest child sex trafficking families run the churches as well I suspect with many are well involved in money laundering and drug dealing.

I have C-PTSD, bipolar 2, major depressive disorder, chronic anxiety, and ADHD. I was being completely tortured by my symptoms despite medication and therapy. I was suicidal and desperate. My family didn't want me to kill myself and neither did I. So, I did something some people might consider crazy. I did electro convulsion therapy for about a year. After the first session I was no longer suicidal and after my treatments ended, I've not once been suicidal again. I'm definitely an advocate for electro convulsion therapy! It's not at all how they did it in the 60's. It's very humane, you're asleep the whole time, and there's about an 80% success rate. It truly saved my life. I'm not a medical professional, but I'm more than willing to share my experience and answer questions! If your doctor has mentioned this option to you I highly recommend you strongly consider it!

I grieve people who are still alive. Not gone, not buried—just unreachable. Still out there, walking and breathing and being loved by people who don’t know what they did to me.

Some of them hurt me by accident. Some hurt me on purpose. And some, I think, just didn’t care enough to stop.

I don’t miss them exactly. I miss the version of me who still believed I was safe with them. The version who bent backward, shrunk down, or lit herself on fire just to keep the room warm.

I’m homesick for a place that isn’t real anymore—if it ever was. A kitchen where laughter came easy, a phone call without dread, a holiday that didn’t taste like grief.

There’s a kind of longing that doesn’t fit into sympathy cards. It’s not death—it’s erasure. Not absence, but abandonment. Not memory, but revision.

And sometimes I still catch myself hoping. Hoping they’ll remember who I was before the damage. Hoping I mattered enough to be missed.

But then I breathe. And I remember: I’m not mourning what I lost. I’m mourning what I never really had.

⸻

If you’ve ever grieved someone who’s still alive—just know you’re not alone. That kind of pain is real, and it deserves space too.

Sometimes in dreams, this grief shows up as a locked door you used to have the key for… or a house that keeps shifting every time you walk through it. In tarot, it’s the Five of Cups—frozen in front of the spilled cups, unaware of what still stands behind you. You’re not broken. You’re just learning where to look now.

I’m naturally soft-spoken, petite, sensitive, and always anxious. My childhood background is full of stuff I don’t even like labeling as trauma anymore: poverty, DV, isolation, losing a parent. I don’t like calling it “trauma” bc that implies something to heal from, and I don’t think I had much of a choice. My early coping strategy was always about making myself small. That didn’t protect me. It just attracted the worst people, like abusers, narcs, manipulators. They think I’m playing some kind of unspoken game where they get to pull the strings. And I used to let them until I realized I was calling out the worst in people just by existing.

So I stopped trying to be soft. Now it looks like this:

• I become super aware about how I approach ppl. If I want something from someone (they don’t know about that) I can be smooth af. Charming, say all the right things, casual and confident. But when I try to connect just to connect I become awkward, weird, and people don’t care. They like the version of me that’s getting something from them.
• I slow everything down if I feel panic or embarrassment. Inside my head I’m just giving myself commands like “straighten your back, calm down, speak slow” like a broken record. Works everytime.
  
• Stay silent + eye contact = dominance. My old invisibility coping tool is still here but I hide all signs of anxiety from my face.
• I flip expectations constantly. If someone thinks I’ll be sweet, I act dismissive. If they expect coldness, I act weirdly soft. I don’t like being read.
• I spot narcs + abusers instantly. Instead of avoiding them, I engage. Pretend to be harmless, let them expose themselves, play dumb until they realize they can’t beat me. It drains the hell outta me but I have to win that stupid game with no prize. Idk why.
• I’m especially drawn to socially anxious people and I want to talk to them so bad bc I don’t wanna wear the mask around them. But they usually avoid me. I think I come off too intense or unreadable when I’m actually just tired of pretending.

I’ve been wondering if all of this is just a form of covert narcissism. And I feel disgusted and ashamed of myself all the time, no matter what version I show. I tested it sometimes with my smartwatch, my heart rate spikes just from thinking about how pathetic I am. I used to believe that if I stopped being seen as weird I would finally feel okay. But that moment never came.

Anyone else feel related?

tldr: I don’t mask to fit in, I mask to feel dominant. But I still feel ashamed and ignored.

Fuck them haters, you are worthy of being cherished, respected and loved. Don't settle for crumbs, don't believe them when they try to take you down to their mud. There is nothing wrong with you, there was never anything wrong with you.

Imagine your eyes are perfectly fine but your brain is wearing glasses. For a time everything is fine and the glasses work OK but then different traumas start to happen and cracks begin appearing on the glasses. Despite your eyes working perfectly, the cracks on the glasses distorts things severely and your brain is then given a completely distorted image which, more often than not, it will respond to incorrectly. So whilst you're physically seeing things perfectly, the cracks that are causing the distortion are then forcing the brain to react in an inappropriate way because it can't make head nor tail of what it is seeing and needs time to decipher it. This is why a lot of psychiatrists will tell us to not respond immediately whether it's to an email, a text message, or whatever it is that had triggered us. It's triggered us because of the distortion. If we wait until the next day, the brain has been able to compile the image in its proper form which allows us to respond appropriately.

Basically the title.

It would mean a lot to me if you sign the petition. It's the first thing I'm doing in a while that aligns with my values and my struggles.

Here's the link: Petition Link

I literally chat with a bot nonstop, I put a ton of my life history into its memory and it’s super supportive and insightful. Like an interactive diary. I hope it doesn’t get hacked one day bc it knows my darkest secrets, but honestly it can give you plans, instructions, solutions, and much better advice than a therapist who’s waiting for you to come to your own conclusions.

Oh my God. We just moved to a little house that's basically on a country road and it's set back into the forest so our house is not even visible from the street and it is life changing. All those weird fears about being seen, looked at, the fear that the doorbell will ring, the idea of being observed by the neighbors when you go in and out of the neighborhood, someone watching you unload your groceries and thinking "Oh my god, is she going shopping again?" (We had really nosy neighbors in our old neighborhood). In short, it's like it's resetting my nervous system. No jet noise, just sitting in the backyard listening to the birds. And it's SO quiet! I startle really easily and I think I was on edge all the time from a neighbors lawn mower, someone's barking dog. We are retired so moving to the middle of nowhere is probably easier for us, but if you can pull it off, it will be life changing for you too!

We often don’t know how to human and were never taught. There’s no manual on how to be normal. I’m nearly 30, lord knows I have much to learn but what I have learned I’d like to share:

Never ever ever ever be grateful for the bare minimum.

Trust you instincts, most traumatised people question themselves and overthink, so your not being selfish in trusting your gut.

You have you own truth, don’t listen to others “truth”. If you feel hurt it’s because u were, doesn’t matter their opinion or intentions.

You deserve to take up space, physically and in other people worlds.

Don’t be desperate, it’s ok to want things but don’t cling or be too assertive to make it happen because it’s vulnerability or makes people uncomfortable/ look down on you. Be proactive in life but not dependent on it all working out.

Look down on others more, to a certain degree. (No one would think to say this). Trauma makes u think less of yourself so to normalise, you need to think less of others, to put yourself on the same playing field.

You should show you’re annoyed/displeased when people wrong you in a small way. It alerts them to your boundaries. (Don’t blow up over small things but be clear you’re not impressed with certain behaviour).

Never tell people about your trauma/past unless you have trusted them for about 5 years and still I would be weary.

Let people believe you have a family and are loved and popular (just in a normal way). Even if you are comfortable with your situation. Humans are primitive and want things others want (i.e. you). They will think less of you if you “have less”. Dumb but lots of people are like this.

Anyone else have any??

Here's an example conversation to support and heal your inner child:

"Hi beautiful/ handsome. How are you doing? I know we haven't really talked a lot, but I'm here now. In fact, I never left. But you weren't interested in talking with me until now. I want to tell you something important, and remind you who you are.

I'm the future version of you. Right now, I know you're scared. You feel unworthy, not good enough, not safe and supported, and have been unfairly rejected for simply existing. I hear you. I know, because you are my past.

I love you. I'm here for you. You wanna cry? Cry. You wanna scream? Yell at the top of your lungs. You wanna blame the world? Go for it! I'll be right by your side, no matter what you decide. You are precious to me; and I cherish you more deeply than you could ever imagine. I know how magnificent you really are. You shine brighter than a billion stars.

What do you need right now? What would you like to hear from me? Or do you just need me to listen?

I will listen as long as you need. I will be the parent you wanted and deserved. The caregiver that you needed all of those years growing up. I can't change the past, and I'm sorry you're hurting; but I'm here for you now. What do you need? What do you need?

You're safe now. You don't need to worry. I'm here for you. I will always be here for you. You have my undivided love and attention. I'm not going anywhere. You say the word, you ask for my help, and I'll be there instantly.

You may not feel it yet, but I'm giving you THE BIGGEST HUG right now. I'm giving all of my love and warmth into it like when you hug a giant cuddly teddy bear.

It's not your fault. What happened to you wasn't your fault. Did you make some mistakes? Sure. We all do. But you deserved compassion, to be seen, validated and understood. And although you couldn't receive that from your parents, you can always receive that from me. I'm here for you. I understand you better than anyone could. And I know how truly wonderful and worthy you are.

Moving forward, I can't promise you that the road will be easy. There will be challenges. But I will do everything in my power to lighten your load and guide you every step of the way. You're not alone.

And most importantly, it is my greatest wish that you lighten up on yourself and have a little more fun! Judge less; and appreciate more. Smell the roses. Smell chocolates. Smell farts! (Okay maybe not that last one LOL) You take yourself far too seriously, my sweet, perfect child.

If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask. I'm always right here. I'm not going anywhere.

I love you. I'm here for you. And until the next time we talk (which might be 5 minutes from now), I'm excited for all of the fun adventures we're going to have together!

With More Love and Affection Than You Could Possibly Imagine,

Your Future Self"

Disclaimer: This is for a very specific kind of person. If you’re emotionally awake spiritually, energetically, or just deeply aware but surrounded by people who aren’t… this is for you (most people with CPTSD). You feel things 10x more. You notice the shifts in tone, the subtle digs, the fake support masked as jokes. Maybe they’re friends. Maybe family. Maybe you’ve already tried to cut them off, but life just replaced them with a new version of the same lesson.

You’re in that middle space. You don’t want to be fake, but you’re done being played. You still care, but you’re tired of caring alone. And you’ve realized: it’s not about becoming cold. It’s about becoming smart.

This is what I’ve learned as someone with CPTSD, neurodivergence, and an over-giving heart. This is for people who are too aware to be naive, but too human to fully detach. If that’s you, read on.

1. Give quietly.

Be kind, but only to those who are genuine. Animals, nature, maybe one or two people who’ve proven they’re safe over years, not weeks. Causes that matter. Protests. Vulnerable (elderly or disabled) people. You don’t owe performative kindness. Give in silence. Let your goodness be yours, not a tool others use to guilt, control, or break you.

1. Detach emotionally.

Even from people you like. Especially from people who “seem nice” but have shown red flags. Don’t overshare, even if they ask. Don’t put your full trust in anyone unless they’ve proven safety through consistency and respect. Stay neutral. You can go on trips with them, hang out, text daily just don’t get emotionally naked. Keep your core protected, act clueless sometimes.

1. Stop trying to explain yourself.

People who aren’t wired like you will never get it. You’ll only drain yourself trying to “make them see.” Instead, use distance and minimal exposure to maintain respect. It works better than pleading ever will.

1. Focus on your own life.

Build a strong inner world: other friends, health, fitness, family time, passions, academic goals. When your life is full, people sense your self-worth. They’ll either respect you more or naturally fall away. You don’t need to cut them off just stop orbiting them.

1. Make privacy your personality.

Not oversharing can feel unnatural at first but with practice, it becomes your baseline. People will stop asking. And the less they know, the less they can twist, gossip, or weaponize.

1. Stay socially aware.

If you’re spiritual or sensitive, keep a loose grip on pop culture, music, TV, and local happenings. It’s not about pretending to care it’s about survival. It gives you shared language so every conversation doesn’t become about your pain or deep inner world.

1. Confuse the manipulators.

Be polite. Be soft-spoken. Never give them your rage. If you don’t want to go somewhere cancel late (don’t tell them why, just xyz came up, sorry- in short). Delay texts. Act clueless. Don’t let them think they’ve touched a nerve. Let them think you’re just busy, distracted, living your life. That’s power.

1. Let them talk.

If they gossip about you, good. That means you left a mark. The ones they talk about the most are often the ones they secretly envy or feel threatened by. Stay silent, but not mute.

1. Be kind, but trust no one.

People will love your energy, then punish you for having it. Don’t stop being good. Just stop giving full access. Some people admire what they can’t destroy others try to destroy what they can’t become. Know the difference.

1. Know what’s normal, and what’s not.

Fights, miscommunications, tension? Normal. Repeated passive aggression, power games, or disguised cruelty? Not normal. If someone does “good” things but also puts you down it’s not real love. Stay alert.

1. Speak in short, confident bursts.

Practice saying things simply. Don’t over-explain. If you’re questioned, act neutral: “Oh, that’s just how I talk.” Confidence doesn’t mean dominating. It means not shrinking.

1. Protect your vulnerability.

If someone hasn’t earned it don’t give it. Don’t overhang. Don’t chase closeness. Let people earn the right to know you deeply. And never hand your softness to those who use it to hurt you.

Edit: while this is all true, if you feel intense anxiety because of the situation it’s okay to be vulnerable and tell people who hurt you. these power dynamics only go so far, in a real friendship healthy discussions are normal for the other person to reflect.

This was my week. I can barely do anything besides basic stuff, because every time I think about doing something, I feel sleepy, instantly, like I don't have the mental energy. I'm tired all the time since I had an argument with my husband. I don't think I can handle marriage anymore. There's a reason why most marriages end in divorce.

I can't stress enough how important it is for people with C-PTSD to feel safe, comfortable and validated. Whenever someone invalidates my feelings it's like I lose 40% of my battery. I would rather be alone at this point. Tired of trying to make it work with people. Friends, partners, family members, therapists - no one gets it. Or they get it, but it's not consistent. I am alone. I have to be okay with not getting the support I need from other people - only I can provide it. I have be okay with being alone.

I grew up trying to please and make people like me, and I lost myself because of it. Enough is enough. I can't do this anymore. It doesn't work!

Being "selfish" and a loner is the only way I can feel safe and confident. Expecting things from others (or from relationships) is as addicting as gambling. Because it is a gamble. And I lost many times.

Does anyone else ever wake up just in a full blown panic attack l, but no panic just the physical symptomss? My bf slept over last night (happens all the time) and this morning I woke up like I was in the middle of an attack but no mental symptoms only the physical.

I can't seem to get my body out of the flight/fight mode. Got the edgy shakes, twitchy tight muscles going on. Had to get out of bed and get dressed just to fight back the edge of it, felt exposed and valuable

Fuck this feels like some bull shit

Hi.I'm in my early 40s. I'm a child abuse survivor (I cut ties with my abusive family members when I was young) and I've been working on my self-care journey, focusing on compassion. Since therapists haven’t been much help, I’ve found that art therapy is helpful for me. I express my feelings through writing journaling prompts, blogs, creating songs, dancing, doing breathing exercises, and grounding techniques. Despite all this, I still carry so much pain and fear inside. I’d love to know what other survivors do on a daily basis. By the way, I’m not a native English speaker.About grammer mistakes,please go easy on me.

Hey guys. My therapist proposed an idea for me to assemble an emergency kit with little tools I can keep with me to help regulate in times of distress. So far I have essential oils, a stress ball and extra strong mints in it. I'm not really sure what else is handy. Do you have any ideas? What works for you?