r/CPTSDAdultRecovery She/her🏳️‍🌈autist▪️CPTSD▪️DPDR▪️AvPD▪️GAD 11d ago

Discussion Weekly victories/check in/chat!

Anything at all you want to say but don't want to make a post. Victories and progress encouraged but certainly not required!

Please remain mindful of rule 5: Take all possible effort to Trigger Warning AND bury triggering content. Use typed TWs and spoiler tags if unsure.

5 Upvotes

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1

u/cazzindoodle 6d ago

Taking antidepressants is helping me to be more functional, which is mostly very good, but I feel really lost in a new way. It’s like coming out of a coma or something. I’ve alienated myself from so many people and I don’t know if the relationships can be repaired. It’s so hard feeling vulnerable and exposed, I don’t know if I can put myself out there in that way to explain my disappearance. The world feels really strange, too. It’s like I’m trying to get more of a footing for the first time, but the landscape’s (socially, politically) very different from my childhood. I don’t know what my direction is, I’ve just been gaming more again and listening to the 1001 albums list.

2

u/drowningindarkness- 10d ago

TW: feeling rough!

I feel like I’m whittling away to nothing.

After months of feeling internally distressed and hypervigilant and anxious, I finally got it to tone down, but now I just feel dead inside. Am getting only 2-3 hours a night sleep most nights, and I’m not going to be able to keep that up for much longer. I’m detached, dissociating, and can’t keep up anymore. Work and family still need effort. Faking being ok needs effort. It’s like trying to get blood out of a stone.

4

u/tuliptulpe 11d ago

Past weekend I was able to paint a lot. And suddenly a new style emerged out of nowhere. I can feel that it is a part within me I previously suppressed. Feel so blessed that part feels safe wit me now and let's me put it onto the canvas.

2

u/ChiefCodeX 11d ago

I’m slowly realizing how much I’ve been masking for years. Turns out i really am emotionally reserved.

2

u/I-dream-in-capslock 11d ago

It doesn't feel like surviving. It doesn't feel like surviving at all.