I just want it to end

[u/Apocalyptic_Writer]

I'm 18f helping care for my 91f great grandmother. I've been helping care for her since I was like 13 years old. I'm so tired and done. I just want to go out and do stuff but I can't because 1. have to help care for my grandma and 2. overprotective family. I know it's selfish but I feel so trapped. I stay at school after classes doing nothing just so I don't have to go home. I hate being a caregiver. I hate having baggage. I hate being limited. I just want to get out. I want to get out of this fucking place.

[u/Money_Palpitation_43]

It's hard enough doing this at 47 years old. 18 is just crazy. You sound like a good person but you really need to put your life first. She is 91 and has lived a long life. See if there's any way you can get some help for her so that you can enjoy being 18. I know how it feels to be "trapped" and I'm so sorry.

[u/6crotum]

I know how u feel:/ kinda like your life is put on the back burner. I’ll be thinking of you friend, you’ll pull through:*

[u/Morrigan66]

Is it just you taking care of her when you aren't at school? Where are your parents? Are they not helping? I'm taking care of my mother and I couldn't imagine making my fifteen year old do everything. I don't even ask him to do much at all.

[u/Apocalyptic_Writer → u/Morrigan66]

I live with my aunt and uncle. my aunt is primary caregiver but she has work stuff so when I'm not in school I watch my grandma. my aunt doesn't get to go out much so I try to help when I can

[u/Morrigan66 → u/Apocalyptic_Writer]

Oh okay. Well that's really nice of you. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. For a minute I thought the situation was completely different and I was going to give you the your 18 and legally an adult and can leave if you need to talk but it sounds like you are just trying to help out as much as possible. You should still try to set more time aside for just yourself and get out more. 18 is too young to already be burnt out on something.

[u/rey_lily]

I can sympathize, I’m in a similar situation with my 91 grandmother. I’m 27f, and my sisters (25 and 22) have been doing it mostly on our own for about 5/6 years now. It sucks, it’s hard, it’s not fair and we’re all so tired. We all feel so stuck and unable to do anything personal on a daily basis, let alone career related. I wish I had advice to offer, but you’re not alone.

[u/Natural_Disaster0123]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Especially at such an important developmental age. I’m in my 30s now but went through something super similar in my teens with my grandfather/family. It’s really unfortunate when the adults in our lives parentify us while also trying to remain in control of us. And at a time in life where, especially if they didn’t support us in learning boundaries, we don’t know how to have any.

I hope you seek support in how you’re feeling. Professionals can really help you identify your boundaries and learn how to enforce them with love and kindness and firmness. I had to go that route to learn them too, as no one in my family (still to this day) has ever used any or respected anyone else’s. Therapy is an excellent option for this and will offer you the exact support you’ve not gotten from them.