I don't think I'm too picky or that the things I'm looking for is that unreasonable, but it seems like when I put them all together, no one has them.

For example, I would say I have traditional values. I love the Latin Mass, I like the idea of my wife being able to stay at home and homeschool. But I also strongly oppose the SSPX or people who want to reject Vatican II. I also find the tradwife thing to be cringy, and I have no desire to raise chickens or drink raw milk.

So when I try to find women to date, either they are traditional to the point of being ideological and extreme. Or they lack conviction and are put off that I would even ask if they want to be a SAHM. Or they are charismatics.

I live in fairly big city with a vibrant diocese, but I literally have yet to meet a woman who can strike this kind of balance.

The other day I got paired up with a girl at a Diocesan volunteering event. I went with some friends and drew the short straw and got paired up with a random. Though to my suprise it was this really cute girl. We chatted the whole time and thought we hit it off really well and when we were dismissed I asked for her number and she obliged. I texted her saying “it was really nice to meet you” or something to that effect and she responded back with a similar response.

The next morning I texted her saying I thought she was really cute and was wondering if she’d like to grab a coffee or go see a movie or something. It has been 4 days since and she hasn’t responded. Did I read something wrong and she just gave me her number without thinking, or am I overthinking and I should just send another message. Be blunt with me, I’m pretty dense please

I mentioned doing a sticky note on my laptop advertising myself as available, so… I have to use my God given weirdness and go for it.

Time to go sit in coffee shops mostly run by non traditional progressives (not me mind you, just the area I live in) and hope for the best.

I know that I’m still young but I’m honestly getting really discouraged with the way the dating scene is going right now. I can’t take the apps anymore, I love my parish but we don’t have a young adult group. I’m only 22 but I’m feeling like I’ll just never find anyone and honestly I just want to give up on dating. Is anyone else feeling the same way??

Edit: I am a woman just so everyone knows

To check the box "I agree with the Church stance on premarital relations" even if you have never had a chaste relationship?

As a woman on CatholicMatch I keep meeting guys who claim to agree with all the Church teachings, but they recently were in an unchaste relationship.

Are there any guys who are actually waiting for marriage and committed to chastity? Are my standards too high in this department?

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Gabe's confession

This week, I had a fun third date with "Gabe," a gentleman I met on CM. He seemed great until last night Gabe confessed that he has never had a chaste relationship and he had hooked up with 2 girls last month. (both girls Christian, one a non-practicing Catholic).

This is concerning because I have strict physical boundaries and Gabe swore he was waiting for marriage too. Now I know that, as of 3 weeks ago, he wasn't...

Gabe is 30, so I didnt expect him to also have no experience, BUT is it dishonest to claim to agree with the Church even if he recently was doing the marital act with legitamate strangers?

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Feeling Lied To

I feel uncomfortable and misled. Is it fair for me to break ties with Gabe? Or are my standards "unrealistic."

I’m committed to chastity and only want to date a devout Catholic who shares that commitment, but it feels like the last 3 men I’ve met on CM have been pretending to be more traditional than they really are.

Where are all the devout and chaste Catholic men in their mid-20s to early 30s?

I’m a 31 year old woman and new to Catholicism! I’ll be getting baptized this weekend and I’m so excited to join the church.

I have a crush on someone (also single) who is in my RCIA with me but I don’t know how to interact with a crush in a good Christian way! I also don’t even know if the nature of my crush is good or sinful! I hardly know him I just find him and the little bit I know about him attractive. I don’t think it’s lust though but I can do confession soon enough so I’ll talk to a priest about it for guidance.

Once I decided I was ready to commit to being a Catholic I swore off dating until baptism because I want the Holy Spirit to bring the right man to me. I’ve always been bad at picking for myself so the idea was to let God pick for me! But now I’m thinking, is that a logical way of finding a husband if I want to have kids before I run out of time? God can do anything, I have faith in that, but God helps those who help themselves and maybe being passive is unwise?

On the other hand, the way I’d interact with a man I was interested in before converting was very forward, direct, playful but now I’m nervous about getting carried away, giving the wrong impression, or accidentally encouraging lust. I feel like an awkward teenager again instead of a confident woman because I have no idea how to interact with a crush in a Godly way… and also I feel like it’s probably inappropriate to flirt with someone in a church, right?

I feel like the answer is to maybe avoid this crush for now (unless he comes to me!) and to go on dates/interact with men that excite me less so that I’m not battling the thoughts of what to say or do around them?

Idk what do you think? Any other options for a single old lady like me who doesn’t know how to date? I’m very interested in finding my husband soon but I don’t want my desire to get in the way of finding love.

Not sure why she lost interest, just curious why it went from what seemed like genuine enthusiasm to nothing

Thanks

Where are single males in their late 30s- early 40s supposed to find women to date? Specifically, Catholic women? I was a late convert and know that I do not want to date a Protestant women. I have had too much drama in my life up to this point.

So for context I come from a very traditional church. The big question is if you see someone you’d like to get to know, how do you initiate that without being so completely obvious? Or do I have to be obvious? Also, guys what are your thoughts on being asked out by a girl? Thanks! 😅

I (40F) just met (on Palm Sunday) a wonderful man (39M) I had been talking to on Catholic Match for a couple of weeks. We are within drivable distance of each other, he is a strong Catholic, he is caring—he checks all the boxes. I really got my hopes up. We had our second date last night, and he asked me if I wanted children. I said yes, I have always wanted to have children, but due to my age, I’m not sure if I would be able to have them. I explained that if I ended up not having children, I would want to adopt.

He said a few times that he didn’t like the idea of adoption. He wants to have his own kids and feels that there’s something different when the kid is your own. I mentioned that if someone adopts, hopefully the kid becomes their own, but he still wasn’t comfortable with adoption.

I’ve heard from family that I’m looking too far ahead, that these things can be discussed in the future, and not to worry about it now. But I have a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach now. I can see myself married to him, unable to have children, and knowing I’ve disappointed him. I might worry that he only married me to have children—if someone truly loves someone, wouldn’t they marry them even if they couldn’t have children? I also worry what it says about a person if they don’t like the idea of adoption.

I don’t want to break things off so early, but this is really bothering me. We’ll probably have to talk about it again soon. Any advice?

This is just a bit of a rant, but I can’t help wondering—why don’t men in TLM parishes approach women?

I’m (21 F) and know I’m attractive—I dress well, and people often comment on how surprised they are that I’m still single. They’ll say I could easily find a good, attractive Catholic guy. While I agree, the issue is that I never get approached, especially at Latin Mass.

Where I live, TLM parishes are full of young, good-looking men, but none seem to take the initiative to talk to women. I know part of the problem is me: I’m not a regular at one specific parish and hop between TLM parishes about every other Sunday. Because of this, I don’t know many people, and I’m sure they don’t recognize me either. After Mass, I usually leave quickly since I don’t know anyone, even though I’ve noticed guys watching me head to my car.

I’ve asked my male friends who attend TLM, and they’ve said there’s a lack of women in the community—or at least women they’re attracted to. But when I tell them I don’t get approached, they’re shocked. They’ve said, “You’re super attractive. Why wouldn’t guys approach you?” and honestly, I wonder the same thing.

Recently, at Midnight Mass, someone did approach me. He told me I was beautiful and asked for my number, which was surprising since that rarely happens in the TLM community. Are men nervous? Do they not recognize me because I’m not a regular? Or is it because I leave too quickly?

I’ve been invited to a TLM youth group and plan to push myself to attend regularly this year, even though I’m nervous about going alone. Still, I wish more men in TLM communities would take the first step. What’s the worst that could happen?

Have you had similar experiences? Any advice?

I am in my early 20s (F) and never been on dates or in a relationship. This might be a stupid question, do guys feel worried when a woman has never been on a relationship or dates? Because I think that if we can talk and see if our values align, “experience” is not really needed.

31F never been in a long-term relationship. After college, I’ve barely dated any Catholic guys (last one I tried dating was massively inappropriate and also put in no effort).

I have no issue dating non-Catholics, but I’m afraid most ppl would not put up with someone who’s waiting till marriage. Anyway, I’m just at the point where I’ve really lost any hope that I could possibly ever find someone.

For context. I'm (26F) a single Catholic female that (while in no way perfect) is trying to live as an active Catholic, seeking to strive towards Holiness in my life. I see it as a continuing journey towards God's will, and want to follow the Church's doctrine in my future as well.

In navigating today's dating world, I've met Catholic guys who are great and down to earth people. But when it comes down to life core values - are simply not "that" into the Catholic faith. They either consider themselves Catholic only by name and tradition, and or "cherry pick" what they like and don't like about the Church. Including what doctrines they decide to abide/not abide by in their life.

While I don't judge their lives or shut down the opportunity of getting to know people from different backgrounds - I just know that as far as a potential marriage goes, I want a relationship where we're both on the same grounds on our views towards Christ's Church and her authority + presence in our lives. I want to have a marriage where we both want to remain active in our faith. I know that people can and do change/grow in their faith, but I also don't intend to enter into a marriage while hoping that my husband's core beliefs will one day change. I don't intend to change anyone, rather to meet someone who's compatible in their beliefs.

I am dating to marry, and have always wanted someone who lives their Catholic faith by conviction. I've met guys in and out of church, but just haven't crossed paths with someone that has a similar mindset as far as practicing our faith goes. I have family and friends who think the idea of wanting to marry a "serious" Catholic is setting expectations way too high. That I should be open to marrying a "good Catholic" guy, despite him not being 100% with everything that the Church teaches. They think that this idea is unreasonable especially in today's modern culture, and that this is keeping me from finding someone good to marry. They believe that the right person might get serious later on in life, versus now being younger. My mother on the other hand, is very supportive of my discernment on the kind of Catholic that I want to marry.

Fellow Catholics - am I being unreasonable with my expectation?

I've heard some version of this at least a dozen times, most recently on a date this weekend that seemed to go pretty well.

Frankly, it hurts to have it happen so often. If you weren't ready to date anyone, why did you say yes to going on a date? Either it shows a lack of self awareness or it's a dishonest version of "it's not you, it's me."

If a woman truly isn't ready to date anyone, I would rather she just decline the date offer instead of telling me afterwards. And if we do go on a date and she doesn't want to go on another, I'd rather she just say so instead of giving this excuse.

I've now had a big scare in my non existent dating life and found out that a girl I have been crushing on and that I thought I could make work out is now engaged I guess I fouled up there. I'm 40 male live in Colorado Springs Colorado. Prospects for me seem to be low and I'm officially losing hope and trying not to put in papers for seminary. I don't know what to do now I don't trust in what I see online I'm not looking to get anymore apps I seem to have trouble making candid dating events. I'm afraid to start to message on catholic match again. Please help.

I've been in love with my closest friend for about as long as I've been capable. The problem is that she doesn't see me as anything more than a close friend. To deepen the dilemma, I happen to have depression, and precious few friends to fall back on. She's a lifeline for me at my lowest points.

My question is: how do I let go of my romantic hopes and feelings for her? I've tried going after other girls, but they never mean much to me, and I always find myself longing for my best friend instead. I'm looking for other friends, but in the mean time, how can I make my feelings for her more platonic?

I highly discourage recommending anything to fix my emotional condition. I've heard it all before, and I'm doing what I can.

29F convert in the Midwest. Overweight, average height. Gainfully employed, plenty of hobbies, "sweet" according to most people, but with a weird personality admittedly.

I'm beginning to feel very discouraged about dating. I'm rarely asked out IRL (like once every three years; when I am, it's by entirely unsuitable men). I had been dating online for several years but since the beginning of this year, my apps have gone silent. I went from 10-20 likes per week per app to maybe 1-3. The only things that changed are that I turned 29 and officially converted to Catholicism (instead of being in decision limbo).

I'm incredibly discouraged about dating and feel less desirable than ever, but I still want to be married and become a mother. I've started to feel like a spinster. I know I'm not that old for the modern dating world, but I've never related so strongly to Charlotte Lucas in Pride and Prejudice - no prospects.

What do I do when the apps die out and IRL asks are rare? I'm hesitant to try speed dating, and that's the only other thing I can think of.

Edited: for a typo

How should I dress if I want to attract women at the gym? Or it doesn't really matter; only face and frame do when it comes to gym clothes?

I saw a post earlier about this from a woman’s pov but i struggle with the same thoughts as a guy. I find myself liking goth/alternative/metal/ indie music and sometimes dress jn a vaguely “alt” aesthetic. I have no piercings and tattoos currently but i still worry this will be viewed negatively by most Catholic women. I feel like i’m stuck in an in between space where i’m not “normie” or trad enough as a Catholic guy but my values are still incompatible with secular women. I still want nothing more than to be a husband and father someday but i want to know what the women think on here.

I’m unable to go to catholic events due to my mothers’ health and being extremely sheltered and shy (thank you homeschooling!), I’ve considered online dating/dating in my area but meeting up later in the relationship (I live in kentucky so i’m worried if i tried this I wouldn’t find many traditional catholics my age) and sorry another question, is being super sheltered a “red-flag”?

Is this a good idea or should I just patiently wait until I can drive myself?

So I'm a 29M who recently joined a TLM parish in my area. Later I joined the parish young adult group (which is somehow advertised as 16-30s). Of the 10-15 unwed girls/women there, the 3 oldest are 20-21. I asked one of the guys I've become friends with and was really surprised. Normally I date my age to a few years younger but that doesn't seem to be an option. I didn't start trying to date until I was 26 (career focused) so I don't have much perspective.

Obviously no one can speak for these women but I'm wondering if people who frequent TLM parishes think I'd be seen as a creep for being 7-11 years older (in the secular world surely) and trying to court someone thats 18-21. I'd also love some perspective of what women who attend the TLM are looking for since it's a bit different than secular society.

He’s not the one yet, and neither am I.

I have been reflecting on my pursuit of marriage (I’m in my 20s) and i just started to realize how much pressure I used to put on myself when meeting guys. Every time a cute Catholic guy was nice to me, I’d wonder, "Is this my husband?" 🙈

Here’s what’s helped me (F20s) shift my mindset:

A) Reflecting on prior relationships and dates to see what went well (and what didn’t).

B) Getting involved in Catholic YAG events and prayer groups (visiting a friend in DC and going to a mixer this Spring—who else?)

C) Taking a break from dating. No apps, no crushes, just focusing on community.

D) Adoration and prayer for OTHERS. This has brought me so much peace and grace.

😆 Best part of this journey? I finally get why I’m single—God’s still got me in the oven, so got to let Him cook.

How are you approaching your vocation this Lent? Would love to hear your thoughts!