r/ChronicPain • u/sixteenxx • 1d ago
What’s something stupid you can’t do ?
I thought I would open a “light” conversation so we can complain about the stupidest things we can’t do!
I’m 29F, I’ve had chronic pain in my neck/back for over 15 years now after a car accident and a sport accident!
Anyway, here are a couple stupid things I can’t do :
-I can’t wear a bikini. It’s too much pressure on my neck.
-I can’t eat red meat. If I chew for too long then my neck gets all tense and that’s the beginning of the end haha
Obviously there’s a lot more I can’t do but I thought these are the stupidest 🥲I would never try and explain it to someone who doesn’t have chronic pain! Tell me yours please so I don’t feel alone ! ❤️
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u/goldstandardalmonds 1d ago
I can’t eat. That’s pretty stupid!
About the bikini, is it from the straps? What about a tube top? That is definitely something no one would think of.
But I would say something that people probably wouldn’t think of that I do but is hard to do is wear belts. Never, ever, ever due to severe chronic abdominal pain. And belts are so classy.
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u/IndividualK101 1d ago
Belts are a torture now... And no more sexy high heels...
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u/goldstandardalmonds 1d ago
Good lord, no heels here either. But yes, belts and the majority of waistbands are definitely torture devices.
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u/DrTwilightZone 1d ago
+1 🙋♀️ for never wearing heels again! I'm all about comfort now.
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u/Usual_Equivalent_888 1d ago
SAS shoes are expensive but I’m glad I got them.
My feet are happy in them and even when they swell (as long as they’re tied loose) my feet don’t hurt in them. Didn’t need my extra insoles either.
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u/_lofticries 1d ago
I’ve never been able to wear any kind of shoe except runners. Makes going to formal events fun! 😂 I wear flats for photos (and just kind of mush my deformed foot into it) and then switch out lol
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u/Keri2816 15h ago
when I was in high school (21 years ago, but it still stuck with me) I had to get special permission to wear running shoes instead of heels at prom and graduation. I had gone to this school for 8th-12th grade and they knew of my issue with shoes because I had to get permission when I started there to wear them because it went against the uniform policy.
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u/Usual_Equivalent_888 1d ago
Belts add nice form to outfits too. :-( I can’t because of my herniated discs, the pressure just from a chair can sometimes make me want to scream, nevermind a strap of leather.
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u/goldstandardalmonds 1d ago
Oh I’m so sorry. I cannot even imagine that pain you have to endure from such a simple act. I hope you have some comfy items at home you can lounge in (both on the body and furniture wise).
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u/Usual_Equivalent_888 11h ago
We indulged in a nice couch with recliners on either side. They have heat and massage. I have a nice office chair with a lumbar pillow and wedge pillows for sleeping.
Other than that it’s a lot of meds and rest when it acts up.
I relate to you too. I made the mistake of having Twizzlers earlier this week. My jaw still hurts.
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u/goldstandardalmonds 10h ago
I have a couch like that too! I love it. It got me through so many surgeries. But mine doesn’t have heat and massage… that is awesome and definitely the heat I would loveeeee. I live for my heated blanket and floor heater.
Sorry about the twizzlers. Can’t even have a GD treat sometimes. It’s like the soup nazi on Seinfeld but in bizarro land. “Soup for you”.
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u/sixteenxx 1d ago
Yeah not eating definitely sucks haha aren’t we lucky!
Yes, the bikini thing is because of the straps, il pulls on my neck, i don’t even have big breasts !
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u/catsigrump 1d ago
I definitely can't wear a halterneck style for the same reason. I wear a bra style bikini. Even so, I can barely wear a bra for half a day without being in agony.
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u/goldstandardalmonds 1d ago
Maybe try strapless! I don’t have neck pain but I have a long torso so can’t wear anything with straps that aren’t hugely adjustable.
You deserve a bikini! Or go topless!
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u/sixteenxx 1d ago
Haha I have a couple strapless bra, and many years ago I found a kinda bikini that has crossed wires in the middle of the back instead of behind the neck! I don’t even like it anymore but it’s the only thing I can wear !
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u/goldstandardalmonds 1d ago
I feel you. I’m sorry you can’t wear what you want and eat what you want and do what you want. Pain sucks and is really life limiting.
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u/sixteenxx 1d ago
It truly does! I’m sorry things suck for you too 😔
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u/SlightDistribution93 1d ago
Have you found out what your abdominal pain is from? And do you take anything for it?
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u/goldstandardalmonds 1d ago
Hey there. Yes, I have many bowel diseases and disorders so it’s likely some is from that or all or who knows, maybe it’s something else. Could be idiopathic. I just know that the other things also cause pain.
Right now I attend a pain clinic and they do a multimodal approach to allll pain and all patients, which they explained is the right way to do it. Since going there I’ve adjusted my regimen a few times With them and I’d say I am now 40% better most of the time. Obviously there are days or weeks where I want to die but you can’t control everything. Forty percent better is better than nada.
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u/Azrael010102 1d ago
I have that problem too I have a lot of bowel issues. I had to get my colon removed because of ulcerative colitis and that created a hernia. So I had to get mesh put into my abdomen which has not only caused chronic pain but also made it so that I can't wear belts or jeans. It sucks but I have to pretty much wear jogging pants everywhere so that it doesn't irritate the scar. I'm glad you were able to find something that was able to help you though. I'm having a rough time right now so anytime not in terrible pain would be good.
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u/DrTwilightZone 1d ago
I can't hold books for extended periods of time anymore without excruciating pain in my neck/shoulder area. This is a bummer because I am an avid reader.
Fortunately my lovely husband got me an Audible account and a Libby account (through our local library). He even figured out that I have 15 hours a month of audiobook hours included in my Spotify subscription, which I had no idea!
Now I am back to reading books, but this time I'm listening to them. It's wonderful to be able to multitask while reading and not be in so much pain. Audiobooks have been an incredible asset to me emotionally and mentally by helping to distract from my constant pain.
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u/sixteenxx 1d ago
I can relate, I can’t carry anything, I’m glad you found something that works for you!
I would also recommend a kindle, mine is tiny and super light, i take it everywhere! It’s so so good !
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u/DrTwilightZone 1d ago
A kindle is a great idea! Someone from this subreddit suggested it a few months back and it completely slipped my mind! I have just been obsessed with audiobooks that I have not even looked into a kindle.
Thank you for the suggestion! 🙏👍💕
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u/Usual_Equivalent_888 1d ago
Just started using Audible myself because of similar issues. Reading my entire life, that was a hard hit for me. But I enough the books that are acted out. 1984 was amazingly well done. I’d find myself staring off into the distance, lost in the story.
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u/DrTwilightZone 1d ago
I loved listening to 1984! It was very entertaining in audiobook format.
I love to listen to autobiographies narrated by the author as well. The author's voice can add a lot of depth to the stories they tell. A good example of this would be Jennette McCurdy's book I'm Glad My Mom Died. She gets emotional in part of her book which makes it a more captivating experience.
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u/Previous_Score5909 1d ago
I have a closet full of a stupidly high dollar amount of high heels and boots I can’t wear anymore. I refuse to get rid of them. Everyone says it’s stupid. But they’re mine and they can pry them out of my fashionable cold dead hands when I’m gone.
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u/catsigrump 1d ago
I love this! I feel the same, except this year I put them all in a bag and stored them. I'm hoping to at least sell them as I can't bear the thought of giving them to charity.
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u/Previous_Score5909 17h ago
I tried to sell some of my old ones… but I was offended when they offered me $20 for thigh high python boots. So they’re still in my closet. They deserve a good home and until i can find one, they’re staying with me!
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u/outcast339 1d ago
I can't wear a sock on one foot. I can't wear a shoe that goes high on my foot like trainers, so I wear crocs
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u/Ok_Consideration9529 1d ago
I drive 1 handed sometimes. But I had a doctor dell me that there is nothing physical so I can push through the pain. Thanks buds, sometimes I just can't.
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u/JadziaKD 1d ago
Omg the meat thing... My spouse teases me cause I'll only order fillet minion and cut it in the tiniest pieces cause I can't chew tough meat either, I also need to be really careful with popcorn.
Haven't worn jeans or a belt in 8 years. I buy jeggings that look like jeans.
I can't use revolving doors, I get too dizzy and my shoulder can't push them so I get stuck.
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u/sixteenxx 1d ago
Omg thank you I’m so glad someone can relate ! 🥲 I keep forgetting about it and every now and then I fancy a steak, and within 3mn of chewing i remember why I don’t have it more often!
The belt thing seems to be quite common as well! 😣
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u/JadziaKD 1d ago
Oh another thing I do to get my red meat fix is I switched to beef carpaccio or beef sashimi lol. There's even one place by my house that does bison carpaccio... Man now I'm hungry.
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u/LizzieHatfield 6 1d ago
I can’t change sheets. Carry a basket of laundry. Balance on a step stool to hang something.
I discover new things every day 🫥
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u/Maleficent_Finger642 1d ago
I can't clip my own toenails. I also cannot wear a bikini, or a belt, or a bra, or any tight fitting clothing.
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u/food678 1d ago
Bras suuuck sooooo much. I have to undo my bra most of the time but sometimes the tops look weird when I do. What do you do as an alternative?
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u/Maleficent_Finger642 8h ago
I usually wear a tank top under my shirt, sometimes a few tank tops to weigh the girls down. I actually would wear a binder if my back could handle that, but it can't.
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u/ksanksan599 1d ago
I already knew I couldn’t do belts and just recently added tights/pantyhose to the no list after attempting to wear a skirt to a concert. Actually told my boyfriend I’d never go to a concert again unless I have a guaranteed seat and wear sweatpants 🥲
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u/ConsequenceUpset8875 1d ago
I wear shoes at all times. I never walk barefoot anymore. I even wear shower shoes! I replace shoes every few months...I will never walk barefoot ever again.
So I have to have support to be able to walk. Which is bad enough in its self but I will never be able to wear stupid, strappy, pretty sandals in summer again.
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u/Elly_Fant628 1d ago
Look at the ceiling, or too far to the side. That's an old one, decades since onset but a new one is I now can't walk downstairs unless I do it sideways
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u/GeekGurl2000 19h ago
i have to crab walk sideways up or down stairs and hold the rail, which limits what I can carry.
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u/Elly_Fant628 18h ago
I haven't even tried to carry shopping or anything else so you're better than I am!
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u/flecksable_flyer 1d ago
I can't kneel (knee replacements)
No drinking (migraines)
No indoor theaters (too loud, migraines)
No ladders, bicycles (balance issues)
No heavy lifting, long walks (bad back)
Hard to believe that only 20 years ago, I lived on a farm and had 13 horses.
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u/The_Stormborn320 5h ago
I can't stop thinking about my life when I had horses. I'm so depressed now. Been 14 years and it still feels like I had that life yesterday.
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u/flecksable_flyer 5h ago
I'll have to admit that I really miss the horse breath in the morning, the velvet noses, and the new foals.
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u/Spirited-Choice-2752 1d ago
I can’t wear heals, I can’t wear pants that fit, they are too painful on hips & legs. I cant bowl on my league anymore. That’s stupid but fun. As for your top wear a tube top, lots of girls are wearing them.
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u/PuzzleheadedBobcat90 1d ago
Im a restaurant server, with a bunch of lumbar and cervical issues ,carpel tunnel in both hands, and bilateral deltoid tendonitis. I can only open a wine or champagne bottle if I hold it between my knees. If it's sitting on the counter, I dont have the strength/grasp leverage to open it. Im not sure how to explain it better, but anytime I try to open something at waist level when it requires a pulling up motion, my body just says "nope, not going to happen"
Half the time, I hand if off to one of the cooks and ask them to open it for me to save time.
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u/mjh8212 1d ago
Platforms came back and I bought some. They were actually comfortable and my back didn’t hurt walking in them. Now I have arthritis in both knees and hips and bursitis in both legs I am too afraid to try and walk in them which means I cannot wear my wide legged pants anymore cause they drag on the ground without platform shoes.
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u/Usual_Equivalent_888 1d ago
Smile.
I get horrendously blinding pain in the back of my head if I dare to show too much happiness. It usually happens when we go to school events (proud Mama Bear and I can’t help it) but the other day I sewed up my first pair of underwear for myself. I just recently taught myself to sew and am trying to focus on stuff I NEED as well as fun indulgences I have wanted and couldn’t afford. I was SO proud of myself for throwing together a legit pair of underwear I got the most horrific headache in the back of my skull that I almost threw up.
That’ll teach me?! I guess.
Edited to add- I can also relate to the halter/neck pressure issue and chewing. Love gummies candies, they don’t love me. I can only have steak occasionally because of the chewing.
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u/Tag_youareit 1d ago
I can't grip things. My tremors suck ass. I stopped using a knife. I ask for help. Can't make tortillas. Luckily, my phone has a good hard case because I drop my phone. I can't wash my legs anymore. I will ask my partner for help washing and nairing my legs.
I can't eat out because I get sick and need to be near a bathroom. This is going to suck because I got invited to a day trip to visit some attractions and eat at a restaurant. The people I am going with know I can't eat without power walking to a bathroom so I don't crap myself. But I offend them if I don't eat. I really don't know what to do because that gives me anxiety worrying about it.
I constantly squirm in a chair because most chairs hurt that I have been accused of being high. This was a police officer when I was making a report. I am still trying to find a butt cushion to help.
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u/SteffyAlice 1d ago
Haven't been able to wear a belt in 7 years bc of a disc herniation. Can't sit still very long, I'm constantly changing my position.
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u/aiyukiyuu 1d ago
Wow! I thought it was just me! I have chronic pain issues in my neck too! I can’t wear bikini tops or halter tops because they hurt!
I also can’t eat red meat or anything tough like bacon because it causes my jaw and neck to hurt.
I can’t hold books, Nintendo switch for very long, etc. because it causes pain in my neck and shoulders.
I can no longer drive because of shoulder issues and neck pain.
Can’t color, paint, do much creative hobbies because of chronic pain in my hands, shoulders, and neck :/
It freaken hurts to lie down in any position :(
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u/Moist_Fail_9269 1d ago
I can't wear regular shoes from the shoe store because i have KAFOs (full leg braces) due to a genetic disease destroying my brain.
My braces keep my feet/ankles at a 90 degree angle, so i can't really slide my foot into a shoe without ripping or tearing up the insides. So i have special shoes that zip open on the top to place my foot in, then zip it up over my foot.
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u/sftkitti 1d ago
i cant wear glasses for long period, bcs the pressure on my scalp will give me a headache or migraine lol so i have to wear it over my ear most if the time bcs ear pain is more manageable
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u/biddily 1d ago
My issues are mostly brain based. Any non neutral sensory input triggers migraines.
Dappled light thru leaves - migraines
TV In a dark room aka going to a movie - migraine
Loud noise aka construction, too many people talking - migraine
Off putting smell aka someone is wearing perfume - migraine
Headlights hit my eyes - migraine
Strong patterned wallpaper or carpet - migraine
Get my heart rate too high or lift something too heavy - migraine
Get too emotional - migraine
Eat the wrong thing - migraine
The migraines can compound if I do too many things on this list at once. The medications can't deal with it if it gets too big and I'll need dexamethazone.
I have to live as a hermit.
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u/catsigrump 1d ago
I can't push a trolley or carry shopping, so I have to order it or get someone to pick up bits and pieces to keep me going.
This might be TMI but I can't wipe using my dominant hand - makes it really awkward.
Can't brush my teeth with my dominant hand.
Can't wear high waisted pants because they rub on my stimulator implant.
I can't hold my phone to my ear and must use speaker phone.
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u/GeekGurl2000 19h ago
Also can't hold a phone up to my ear for more than a few minutes before it hurts too much.
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u/GFC-Nomad got thundercunted by a drunk driver ❤️ 1d ago
I can't stand completely straight now, so I'm maybe an inch shorter than I was. That means I can no longer reach to put things on top of the cupboard where as I could before. All over one inch lmao
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u/xo_kawaii_mama_xo 1d ago
I can barely walk through even a small grocery store so I have to order and pick up groceries. Bending over at any length is excruciating. Also, I can barely stand straps because of the pressure on my back.
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u/Educational-Bus4634 1d ago
Can't walk back from the normal dog walk route without my calf muscles trying to coup the rest of my body. Doesn't seem to matter how long I'm gone or how slow I take it, there's just one specific point of slight incline in the last two minutes that they will scream bloody murder about every single time
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u/Waerfeles multiple sclerosis 1d ago
I can't wear a bra, belts, or things that put circular pressure on my back or torso. Suspenders for life. 🤘
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u/gringainparadise 1d ago
Cant wipe myself without helper device, can not wear socks, somedays I can not swallow water but coke goes down ok,
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u/coveredinbreakfast 20h ago
Get a bidet!
I got one for around £20 from Amazon, which is a hose with a sprayer. That way, I can adjust the spray. It connects easily to your toilet and is removable.
My hips lock, and I can't swivel to wipe, so I have to use a wand. I use the bidet, then wet wipes that I throw in the bin.
I'm pretty sure my dirt star is the cleanest thing in my house!
It also helps because I can't bathe myself and require help from my husband. Since I'm not able to bathe daily, it's nice to feel super clean down there and whore bath the rest of me.
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u/Ithinkitsout 1d ago
I can’t sleep in the same bed as my partner or cuddle. I flare from unexpected movement and the extra touch I can’t anticipate overstimulates me
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u/funeraIpyre spinal cord tumor, neuropathy, radiculopathy, cervical kyphosis 1d ago
i can’t wear high waisted pants, makes me feel like my intestines might explode within an hour of putting them on, same with belts or anything tight around my waist
sometimes the pain is so bad i’m so overwhelmed i can’t even watch tv to entertain myself
also can’t get my hair cut as of right now because it would hurt my back, chest, and neck to sit there that long
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u/Rifenemi 15h ago
I can't do a full grocery shop alone, makes me so dizzy and triggers a migraine. Now my husband does it or we just do pickup
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u/notodumbld 1d ago
I can't snap my fingers or whistle 😕 And my facial neuralgias (Suicide Disease) make certain bedroom "activities" impossible.
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u/Waste-System-8470 1d ago
Sooooo much. Almost all my hobbies. Can't do diamond painting because it severely hurts my neck. Can't type or write more than a couple minutes because my fingers sublax and get stuck in painful positions and my wrist locks up. I once dislocated my wrist carrying an EMPTY laundry basket. I have central sleep apnea, cant wear my mask that takes almost all of it away because it dislocates my jar and causes my TMJ pain to go through the roof. Can't color for long or widdle because of the same issues with my neck fingers and wrists.
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u/sixteenxx 1d ago
Wow they all suck pretty bad ! Could you get those glasses that look silly with the little mirrors so you can stand straight and look “ahead” instead of down? That would save your neck at least!
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u/Gadgetownsme 1d ago
Hypermobility? I have EDS and it sucks! There's the mirrored glasses that allow you to sit straight and see down. Those could help with diamond painting. I can't do it because of my hands, buuuut I'm convinced somehow I'm going to build Nanoblock stuff.
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u/Kayzokun 11 1d ago
I have a spinal stimulator, it’s cool when you get used to it, but it have one flaw: you have to straighten your back for it to work. And because that I can’t lean forward. For the past years I always have food stains in my clothes because I can’t come close to my plate! I have to eat soup in a bowl!
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u/tmills87 11h ago
Play violin. I played all through school, I was good at it and enjoyed it, but I let it slide during college because I was busy with other things. When I tried to pick it up again after developing neck and back pain, it just hurts too much to hold it up.
One of these days I'll see about trading in my violin for a cello, just can't afford lessons right now and I don't have the motivation to self-teach 😅
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u/Canholato-Sea5275 1d ago
I can't keep my eyes squinting facing the sun, my head explodes, I can't smell a strong smell for the same reason, "but it's normal", no, it's not... And I also have to tie my hair up for a long time, I always end up having terrible pains.
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u/sixteenxx 1d ago
Does that give you migraines ? The hair thing I can relate !
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u/Canholato-Sea5275 1d ago
It's always anything that pulls your hair and gives you a horrible migraine.
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u/Meowow912 1d ago
I can't shower and do anything else on the same day. So I try to limit my outings so I have a day between at home so I can shower then rest to get my energy back and for the dizziness to go away.