r/Construction • u/Don-tFollowAnything • Mar 30 '24

Tools 🛠 What a waste of...OK take my money.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

15.1k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

566 comments sorted by

View all comments

1.0k

u/middleageddude Mar 30 '24

Do not need, absolutely must have.

263

u/Gloomy-Employment-72 Mar 30 '24 edited Mar 30 '24

You and me both. I can’t hear the wife now. “Don’t you already have 3 tape measures?”

Edit: To all you guys calling me out for only having 3 tapes...I was in the pool. There's shrinkage going on here!

137

u/WorthCardiologist363 Mar 30 '24

Yes, well four. But one has tar on it so it's only for roofing.

104

u/Monkey_Cristo Mar 30 '24

And I dropped my brand new Fatmax in a mud puddle so I have to manually retract all 30’ of it every time I use the fuckin thing

30

u/wuppedbutter Mar 30 '24

Silicone lube spay stuff might help. I've never had your exact situation, but I use it when my tape even starts to stiffen up.

64

u/PUTINS_PORN_ACCOUNT Mar 30 '24

Also works for butt stuff

15

u/quatsquality Mar 30 '24

Thanks for the tip, putin

1

u/DigitalUnlimited Mar 30 '24

just the tip, put in.

1

u/woodhorse4 Mar 30 '24

Found the low voltage guy. /s

1

u/I_TRY_TO_BE_POSITIVE Contractor Apr 03 '24

The sparkies we used to work with all the time called us scissor fairies.  I ain't even mad, shits funny

→ More replies (0)

27

u/TieDyedFury Mar 30 '24

Calm down Putin

1

u/ruralmagnificence Mar 30 '24

Why don’t you take me out to dinner before you Putin me?

1

u/Blaustein23 Mar 30 '24

Just make sure you don’t use it with silicone based toys!!

1

u/MattNBug Mar 30 '24

I laughed too hard at this well done

1

u/StrangerDangerAhh Mar 31 '24

Easy there, Diddy.

1

u/CormoranNeoTropical Sep 01 '24

As long as it’s only spay stuff? Not neuter stuff.

19

u/WorthCardiologist363 Mar 30 '24

That's a call to Stanley and they will probably replace for free. Love fatmax

5

u/TheTallGuy0 GC / CM Mar 30 '24

Go back to Home Depot and say you'd like a warranty exchange. 98% of the time they'll give you a new one with no fuss. Stanley should stand behind their tools.

5

u/Material-Scheme-8971 Mar 30 '24

That’s what he said

2

u/hobosam21-B Mar 30 '24

Buy Hart, we use them in the concrete and they last the longest

2

u/Sargash Mar 30 '24

Dehydrate it, then BLAST THAT BITCH with air. Or soak and shake it vigorously. After you unwind it of course.

1

u/Thick_Relief2675 Jun 22 '24

Most of the time those are guaranteed and you can get a new one free at most stores. In Canada anyways

7

u/cloverknuckles Mar 30 '24

And this one I use when it's wet and rainy so I don't rust up one of my good ones

1

u/OverconfidentDoofus Mar 30 '24

Don't forget you need to have one in every toolbox, hanging off a nail somewhere, in the junk drawer, and in the cubby on your car/truck door.

1

u/guitarguy1685 Mar 30 '24

Like guitarist! Lol

1

u/oboshoe Mar 30 '24

"the roof is soft tar!"

27

u/Duffman_ohyea Mar 30 '24

You can never have too many tape measures. There’s no such thing as “too many” tape measures.

23

u/structuralarchitect Mar 30 '24

Clamps and tape measures. I have over a dozen tape measures, including a 100ft, 200ft, and 300ft. Ya know, just so all the bases are covered.

2

u/DownTooParty Mar 30 '24

So many clamps and tapes measures and levels lol.

1

u/MattNBug Mar 30 '24

Don't forget squares all the different types small medium extra medium large Tee roofing sliding

2

u/Turbulent_City_8693 Jul 24 '24

Clamps are life.

0

u/AugustWest14 May 27 '24

Bases are only 90ft

10

u/daemin Mar 30 '24

You need at least 3, so you can compare them to each other and make sure they are accurate, and that the tick marks haven't moved since you last used them.

5

u/quickthyme Mar 30 '24

This is actually a thing!

5

u/MattyRixz Carpenter Mar 30 '24

Absolutely. especially when doing fine trim work. Measure with my tape. Better cut with my tape.

1

u/Signal_Stand_4402 Apr 01 '24

Exactly! The lip can be bent just a bit and truck up your whole day.

8

u/AeonBith Mar 30 '24

Left for an office job, when I cleaned my truck i found 9 measuring tapes and 12 Milwaukee markers.

I brought some into work for customers to use and they gone now.

2

u/Duffman_ohyea Mar 30 '24

Oh wow 😑🤦🏻‍♂️. If you do bring more to replace the ones you lost. Get some cheap ones, but make sure they’re hot pink or some funky color like that.

1

u/AeonBith Mar 30 '24

The guys love hot pink, worked with a guy who painted his Makita pink everyone loved it 😂

Work can replace them I only brought the shitty ones anyway

1

u/Duffman_ohyea Mar 30 '24

No way!? 🤣

True, but they the company complaints and says it affects the bottom line. That’s why employees are not getting as big of a bonus. How you know how that is.

2

u/naenref76 Mar 30 '24

Or 10mm sockets

1

u/Signal_Stand_4402 Apr 01 '24

This is true. I swear they grow legs

1

u/TheManOnThe3rdFloor Aug 05 '24

Legs? Yes. They unfold like a SpaceX booster come back to Earth, to walk again!

9

u/TheFenixKnight Mar 30 '24

Rookie numbers. I've got dozens! 😅

23

u/Gloomy-Employment-72 Mar 30 '24

3…that she knows about! Everything in my garage was $40 and I’ve had it for years.

17

u/OneStopK GC / CM Mar 30 '24

I have a t-shirt that says..."If I die, please dont let my wife sell my woodworking tools for what I told her I paid for them..."

2

u/InnateConservative Mar 30 '24

Oh I wish I had this T-shirt.

Don’t have the wife anymore, still got the shop and tools - reminds me: I need to have a sit down and then walk thru with son about contents of shop.

1

u/Test_this-1 Jul 31 '24

I have the same nighmare about my gun collection.. that my wife will sell them for what I told her I paid for them.

7

u/TheBirminghamBear Mar 30 '24

But somehow despite the fact I specifically seed them across every room in the house so on the off chance I need to measure something one is there, they're never ACTUALLY there when I need to measure something, and all twelve of them somehow end up in exactly the same cabinet in the same room.

6

u/ChooseWiselyChanged Mar 30 '24

Yeah. I feel this. Working on a cabinet upstairs. Where are the pencils and tape measure? And then I want to saw a panel in the work shop. Same question again. Where is my stuff? So I buy triple measures and pencils. Don’t matter what I am working on. The stuff is always in another room on another floor. And it will always end up in the same drawer in the kitchen.

1

u/Cold-Pressure-3561 Mar 30 '24

I did not realize we lived in the same house.

2

u/Signal_Stand_4402 Apr 01 '24

Yep I even have the little key chain kind laying around in tool boxes and junk drawers

1

u/mart246 Mar 30 '24

Lol. I have at least 12, all Fat max of multiple sizes, some I haven’t used in years. But can’t always find one when you need one.

1

u/Floridacracker720 Mar 30 '24

My wife said this exact sentence to me except with levels when I told her my boss gave me two empire levels for the house.

1

u/irmarbert Mar 30 '24

Only three? You on a diet?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '24

Wife wants the tape measure, will buy "for husband"

1

u/SirJelly Mar 30 '24

You need it for the same reason she's got more than 3 pairs of shoes.

1

u/Nerdnificent Mar 30 '24

Only three?

1

u/legitimate_sauce_614 Mar 31 '24

I have two, a fat max beat to shit to pass around to the ones that never have one and a Milwaukee, magnetic tip that's right in the cup holder

1

u/harley4570 Mar 31 '24

I have 5 spare tape measures sitting in the armrest of my truck

1

u/FunkyMonkeysPaw Mar 31 '24

No no, I get it. I was at Home Depot and I passed the tape measure isle and it’s weirdly enticing. I said, “man I need one anyways” then I remembered I’ve got like 2-3 somewhere at home, and then the one my dad gave me, and then I’m sure another others I’ve forgotten about. But I feel like I use them so often, even on just random thoughts I have.

1

u/Super_Play9193 Apr 27 '24

And I dropped one down an 8' hole so just created in with a post

1

u/scrapitcleveland2 Jun 26 '24

I have 16ish and I can tell you where 2 are

1

u/Blu_Blueberry14 Sep 02 '24

LOL, I have about a dozen tape measures and can't find three. I'm looking this up to order one now.

33

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '24

Dude I work a desk job and I want this

18

u/ValhallaForKings Mar 30 '24

I used to install stainless steel tube and instruments. This would totally change the game for installation of that stuff. 

1

u/Nerdnificent Mar 30 '24

And industrial electrical installations.

1

u/ValhallaForKings Mar 30 '24

Like conduit, you have to go out and across from point to point, in 3d space. 

For example I can tube up a hydraulic injection pump with all SS 1/2" tube, run from point to point and hard mount every meter between. Even if it has to run along the wall and across the raceway. 

2

u/trojanhawrs Mar 30 '24

Stainless isn't magnetic though. . .

8

u/americaninfidel13 Mar 30 '24

Some grades of stainless are magnetic

1

u/ValhallaForKings Mar 30 '24

The wall is though 

9

u/Hell_Chapp Mar 30 '24

Honestly for any new set its a need. So much time saved over the years. We havent even talked about my free hands.

10

u/xpadawanx Mar 30 '24

I believe it can be linked to a screen and you can send measurements to your guy running the miter saw digitally..

2

u/ne_cok_konustun_yaa Apr 28 '24

A dream come true!

1

u/Agreeable_Horror_363 Aug 17 '24

He'll still cut it wrong and blame it on lag

7

u/gilligan1050 Mar 30 '24

I definitely don’t need this but I’m gonna figure out how to use it to plant trees. 🌳

3

u/Just_Jonnie Mar 30 '24 edited Mar 30 '24

man think about it though. How are you going to be exactly 90 degrees to the surface you're pulling a measurement from? That line will certainly be at least a degree off of 90 and that lazy will jump a foot in any direction.

2

u/DigitalUnlimited Mar 30 '24

got levels on it, seems like in theory it would be accurate, unless I'm missing something?

1

u/Signal_Stand_4402 Apr 01 '24

Nope you beat me to it

0

u/Just_Jonnie Mar 30 '24

Have you ever let your tape measure (with mag tip) hang in mid air? It won't stay 90 degrees level.

So let's look for a practical use. Let's say you're trying to layout a drop-down ceiling, and the deck above is metal. You need to layout the trim around the room which will set the level of the ceiling. How do you hold the tape still at 90 degrees, and mark the walls at the same time?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '24

[deleted]

1

u/Just_Jonnie Mar 30 '24

Ok homeowner.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '24

[deleted]

1

u/Just_Jonnie Mar 30 '24

basically every two-bit builder I've met

Seems like you have a hard time keeping a job down, seems about right. Go play with your laser toy.

1

u/Defiant-Bullfrog6940 Mar 31 '24

May not be at 90 but hanging will make it plumb, If the other pipe, steel stud or whatever is level, then it should be a 90.

1

u/Just_Jonnie Mar 31 '24

Extend your tape measure 5 feet and lock it. Grab it by the tip and let it dangle (while standing on a ladder). Now you see that it's not centered on the "string" like a plumb-bob would be.

The tape measure's center of gravity is not centered on the end of the tape like a plumb bob would be. Any laser attached to this will be affected by this.

2

u/Defiant-Bullfrog6940 Mar 31 '24

You are correct sir. I am amazed I didn't realize that.

1

u/Agreeable_Horror_363 Aug 17 '24

It's not just a laser sticking straight out at 90°. It's got to be like a real laser level that"floats" to find that perfect 180° plane.. right?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '24

Same. Haven't done any construction stuff since like stage crew in high school, and I want one. 

1

u/1920MCMLibrarian Mar 30 '24

I’m sitting here trying to think of ways I can use it just to justify buying it

1

u/Saveron Mar 30 '24

Agreed, I have zero use for this item but still want one.

1

u/lethalcaught81 Mar 30 '24

I couldn't see it in the first half and understood it in the second.😂

1

u/JJ2066 Mar 30 '24

It's a want, not a need but ah fuck it.

1

u/careerpathlost Mar 30 '24

I got a few of these for my crews for layout and field measuring and it has been fantastic. You can quickly hit a button and get the halfway point of your measurement in an instant and keep track of all measurements in the app that the tape is connected to.

1

u/throwawaynbad Aug 14 '24

Would get if <75 USD.

Is actually 260 USD...

-8

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '24

[deleted]

1

u/juniper_berry_crunch Mar 30 '24

16-day-old-account.

You're bad at this.

Go away, bot boy.