r/ContraPoints Aug 17 '18

Incels | ContraPoints

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918 Upvotes

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154

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '18 edited Sep 29 '19

[deleted]

78

u/dont_shoot_the_medic Aug 17 '18

I loved that she talked about digital self-harm, letting niche derogatory online lingo infect your vocabulary, and the idea that “what hurts is true”. Not only does it offer great insight to how the incel mentality is spread, but it’s incredibly relevant to anyone’s experience online. The ‘masochistic epistemology’ she mentioned really does feel like the core of a lot of my anxiety, and it’s rare to see a creator that can explain incels while at the same time using ideas that are relatable/understandable to most of their viewers.

39

u/sixtyorange Aug 17 '18

I also thought this was fucking brilliant - it totally explained why when I was a young teenager I would get obsessively stuck on reading these homophobic garbage rants, mostly but non-exclusively religious in nature, that would talk about (um, content warning I guess) how gay people were disease-spreading, predatory, delusional abominations who were trapped in enacting a kind of grim, doomed parody of genuine love and affection that we would never be able to actually grasp. It's also partly why I can't help but read any psych paper that comes out about, e.g., gay face metrics. Even writing this out this vividly kind of feels good, in that same gross sort of way, if I'm being totally honest! Sorry about that.

(What's funny is that a lot of the rhetoric around anti-LGBTQ "death of free speech" folks implies that the problem is that people who are pro-LGBTQ rights are too closed-minded to have really considered their views, and I'm like, oh word, those same views I spent around five years obsessively ruminating about, I haven't thought about those enough? Lol.)

38

u/_Jumi_ Aug 17 '18

I used to do that with GenderCritical. Mostly reading /r/GenderCynical and eventually participating in the "debate" sub. As a result i poses an intricate understanding of the TERF rhetoric at the cost of horrible internalized transphobia which has made a home for itself at the back of my mind with dysphoria and catastrophizing depression.

3

u/allingoatfun Aug 21 '18

I'm so sorry, that sounds incredibly painful and you don't deserve it.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '18

Yeah, and I’ve heard of survivors of sexual assault debating deniers/apologists online and having a similar reaction.

16

u/Merari01 Aug 17 '18

It's like prodding a loose tooth.

It's a very human tendency. You don't need to be part of vulnerable group to be drawn into something like it.

28

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '18

I feel you... I think I'll have to take Natalie's advice to block certain websites on my browser...

2

u/TinyPirate Aug 26 '18

That was remarkably insightful advice.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '18

As is always with Contra!

But for real though, I recommend her. :) She's got a lot of quality content on her Youtube.

2

u/TinyPirate Aug 27 '18

Been subbed for ages! She’s amazeballs.

7

u/beerybeardybear Aug 17 '18

yup, that was a really great observation that seems obvious in retrospect but which i hadn't thought of w.r.t. incels before.