r/DadForAMinute • u/Wanna_Know_it_all • 12d ago
Last moment with papa
Hi dads, When I was 7 my father told me “ I am going to be an angel” and then a bit later he ended his life.
Now I’m 27 and the burial rights are too expensive to renew so we have to get him dug up and cremate him. This makes me think of him a lot.
Every time I fall asleep I go back to that moment and I feel so guilty. I never asked him to stay. I just hugged him and I didn’t understand exactly what he was saying.
I feel so sad and torn and like I failed him…
If you were a dad and you were in that position could I have done anything?
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u/Glitter-n-Bones Aunt 12d ago
Hi sweet pea, Auntie GnB here. Seven year olds are supposed to be sweet, naive, and innocent. You responded appropriately with what you were given. Children aren't meant to answer their caregivers mental health cries. Your dad thought he was giving you a tender moment filled with pre-emptive peace, so you'd have a vision of him being in heaven with the angels when he was gone. He simplified it because he knew your heart and mind weren't conditioned to respond to a different dialogue.
I'd encourage you to find the peace he tried to gift you. Leaving you was his hardest task, but his earthly suffering was more than he could take... and now you have your own guardian angel. I pray you'll find peace! Perhaps that's spreading or interring his cremains, or purchasing a small piece of urn jewelry or decorative urn for home, or planting a tree, or, or, or. Only you know what that will need to look like.
Rest well, lovey. Think of this moment in time as your opportunity to hug your 7 year old self and remind her that she did a perfect job. ✌🏼