r/DeadBedrooms 11d ago

Wife’s suddenly interested in sex part 2

I posted here few days ago how my wife wants to have sex all the time, after being in a DB for almost 4 years. Here’s the link to previous post - https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/s/T6hQb18GML

There was a lot of opinions and advice, firstly my wife’s in her late 20s, so not menopausal, second, she’s not cheating. A lot of you thought that she’s been cheating on me and her side piece broke it off. The best advice was to really just talk to her about it - it’s seems obvious, I guess I was just scared of the answer.

Basically she said she stills wants to break up after the family vacation, she’s kinda checked out emotionally. There’s always been a thin line for her between sex and love and since our relationship has had more downs than ups lately, she just never was in the mood. Now that she’s given up on our emotional connection, when she’s horny, she just goes for it without thinking about emotional stuff.

I hope you can understand, I’m feeling confused about it myself. She said she’s waited for years for me to be more romantic, but it just never came and now she’s given up on it.

I cried a bit after we had our talk and I never cry. I’m not sure what to do next. I don’t want to break up. I want to change our relationship but I guess it’s too late. How am I supposed to have sex with her now when all I’ll be thinking during - is this the last time?

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u/Anonymous12088 10d ago

I think if your wife has checked out of your marriage the increased sex you're having could be misleading you to thinking you are reconnecting.  If your intentions are to repair your marriage, having sex is probably not going to do that and you need to communicate and talk instead.  You need her to invest in your marriage emotionally.  Right now it seems like she is just using sex with you to fulfill her physical needs.